A/N: This is a continuation of the flashback at the end of the last chapter, "The Kiss".
She drove back into town as the sun was setting. Walking into her apartment, she was not aware she moved at all.
He kissed me. Charles Carson kissed me.
Let's not beat around the bush, girl. That was more than a kiss.
Her entire body tingled, as if she had been lit from within. But at the same time, a painful thought was breaking through her giddy aura.
Nothing is going to come from this. Nothing CAN come from this. He's married. He is a man of integrity and honor, and you don't want to ruin him.
Elsie touched her hair softly. It needed brushing, but she was reluctant to do it. It was as if she could still feel his hands in her hair.
If you want him, you can take him, a quiet voice whispered in her mind. You saw how much he wanted you.
It would be easy. His wife isn't here.
Her stomach heaved. With shaking hands, she put a kettle on the stove and boiled water for tea.
"It's not about what I want," she whispered. She had no idea what Charles and Alice's relationship was like, only that they had known each other their entire lives. And that she left for long periods of time.
He's probably lonely. Every man has his limits. You were just a convenient outlet.
It's been a while since you last dated anyone, too.
Her head and heart throbbed.
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The taste of her lingered on his lips, in his mouth. Even after he'd eaten supper, and drank two glasses of Cabernet.
She kissed you. "Kiss" may be too narrow a word. The things Elsie did with her tongue-
He moaned at the memory. Both from the pleasure it brought, as well as the pain.
It will not happen again. It CANNOT happen again. Alice deserves better than a cad. And Elsie is a respectable woman. You don't want to destroy her reputation or your friendship.
If she still wants to be friends after this.
Charles smoothed his hands down the front of his shirt. It was as if God had made him the precise size to hold her in his arms.
No one would have to know. Especially not the absent Mrs. Carson.
Did you see the way she looked at you? You could have been in bed with her right now.
Disgusted, he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth until his gums bled.
"You made a vow," he whispered, staring into the mirror. "It doesn't matter that Alice is away, or that Elsie is a beautiful woman, inside and out."
She works so much. She hasn't had time to meet many people. Soon she'll meet someone who interests her.
She probably felt sorry for me. That's why it happened.
He lay awake for hours, his stomach churning.
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"I wish you'd tell me what's wrong."
Elsie looked up from the calendar for August. Beryl raised her eyebrows.
She closed her eyes, willing her to go away. Beryl closed her office door and sat down. "Gwen and some of the others call you the Scottish Dragon now. Did you know that?"
"Yes," she scowled defiantly. The chef hesitated, her eyes soft.
"You may fool most people, but you don't fool me. In the last three months, you've dated more men than I have in thirty years. But no one's sticking. You're trying to forget someone, but he won't be forgotten." She picked up a brochure and fanned herself. "Try to deny it."
Elsie glared at Beryl. "It's my business. Not yours," she hissed in an icy voice.
"When your business starts to affect my staff, then it is my business," Beryl leaned forward. Elsie looked at the wall. "Oh, come on, girl. It's happened to all of us. I've seen it too many times with my other best friend, Mr. Carson."
"He's trying to forget a man?" Elsie asked sarcastically, ignoring the painful stab in her chest at the sound of his name.
Beryl rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. He's had his heart broken several times, and he still manages to be pleasant-"
"If you've come to talk about Charles Carson, then you can leave. I'm busy," Elsie snapped. She got up and opened the door. Her friend's mouth fell open.
"God in Heaven," she whispered.
"I don't want to talk about God, either."
Beryl got up and put her hand on the doorknob, covering Elsie's hand.
"What happened?" she asked quietly.
Elsie bit her lip, trying to keep control, but the façade crumbled.
She backed against the wall, looking down. "Charles kissed me."
"What!? When?" Beryl was shocked - and not shocked. This explains a lot. For both of them.
"April," she replied thickly. "At the cabin. We…haven't really spoken since."
Beryl nodded at the timeframe. "You've both kept your distance since then. I wondered why…" she rubbed her face. "Well, he's gone to Atlanta at least once a month all summer, and you're dating for once. It's not working, though, is it? Elsie," she held her friend's arm, "you're miserable."
"What can I do?" Elsie whispered, closing the door and leaning against it. "I-I've tried to forget it, I really have…but I can't. And I know it does no good to think about it."
Beryl hugged her. "I don't think there is any easy answer." She blew out a breath. "I can't say I didn't see this coming – for Charlie. Why he's stayed with Alice, I have no idea-"
"Well, he has," snapped Elsie. "And so I'm the 'other woman' that he kissed. Thanks for the reminder."
"He didn't mean it, though?" Beryl asked. "You would never lead him on."
"Of course he didn't mean it," Elsie said, her head against the door. "It was an accident. A fluke. Temporary insanity – whatever you want to call it."
In her heart, she vividly recalled the day. Whatever she said, she knew she had meant it.
Not that she could say that, or admit it.
Or justify why she felt that way.
"Listen," Beryl said. "I don't know how to solve this, but I want you to take a week off. Get away somewhere alone. You need to clear your head. The staff liked you when you first came, but you've been bitchy lately."
"I'm sorry, I'll apologize to them," Elsie sighed. "They deserve much better than my fiery temper."
The chef returned to the kitchen with a sense of foreboding.
I know one thing that would help.
I hope Charlie can convince Alice to come home soon.
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John lit his cigarette and puffed out a long breath of smoke.
"I thought you were going to quit." Charles crossed his arms, listening to the sounds of the summer sunset in the woods.
A wry grin appeared on his cousin's face. "I am. Anna gave me until the end of the month, then I'm quitting cold turkey." He turned to Charles. "But after what you told me, I'm glad I still do." He blew out another breath. "I sound like a broken record, but you need to divorce Alice. Sooner rather than later."
This again. Charles leaned against the porch railing. "Just because you divorced doesn't mean I should. Alice hasn't been cruel, and she's never cheated on me-"
"No, but she's left you how many times? I've lost count," John said. "Sometimes marriages peter out, not all of them end like mine with Vera."
"My parents were married for forty years. We've been married for twenty-seven," Charles sighed, running his hand through his hair. "You don't understand."
John raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand? Don't patronize me, Charlie. My father was a right bastard. I'm not sorry at all Mother divorced him. And Vera and I were toxic together, you saw that. But your parents were different. They loved each other."
"It's different for you," Charles played with his ring. "Not just because your ex was a shrew. You're still young, you'll live easily for another forty years. Besides, I love Alice," he said, not convincingly. John barked out a laugh.
"Really? Maybe you need to tell me again why you've lost weight. You hardly sleep. Surely it has something to do with kissing Elsie Hughes?"
"It was an accident," Charles growled. "A one-off incident." He stared out at the darkened trees, wishing he hadn't said so much.
"I saw you," John said softly. "Last week, when Anna and I were at the Music Festival, I saw you watching Elsie with her date. You looked lost." He took another drag. "You're a strong man, Charlie. But you're dancing on a knife's edge." He sighed. "I just don't want you to have regrets."
"I already do," he murmured, hardly knowing what they were.
John blew out another puff of smoke.
Hopefully, Elsie will find someone. Soon.