The person responsible for the security of the last disclaimer was sacked.
Xander hung up his cell phone and let his head rest against the wall behind him. He'd just got off a very disconcerting phone call from Giles, and he knew that it was going to lead to pain for him in the very near future. Likely moments after Faith finished her shower. And that was the sound of the bathroom door opening. Yep, he was doomed.
Faith walked into the kitchen wearing a loose terry cloth robe which was clinging to her damp, well muscled frame to see Xander putting his fake glasses back on.
"X, if you think for one second that I won't hit a guy in glasses, you should be ready to dig glass out of your eyes, ya got it?"
Xander closed his eyes for a breath and then turned to look at Faith.
"Very droll Miss LeHane. As I have requested before, please address me as either assistant Watcher Harris, or Alexander. And please get dressed, we have urglmph!"
Xander's voice was cut off as Faith took him forcefully by the throat and pinned him to the wall. She glared right into his eyes, seeing a hit of panic, but mainly resignation.
"X, if you think for one second that I'm in the mood for jokes after last night, you've got a concussion coming, y'know? So cut the crap and stop hiding behind the suit, or so help me I'll…"
Xander realized that he was risking getting his finger torn off and possibly put someplace uncomfortable when he pressed it against Faith's lips, but he really didn't want to hear another threat this morning. It was turning out to be a bad start after all. Luck was with him as she relaxed her grip slightly, but the furious look in her eyes let him know he had to speak fast.
"Mr Giles just called. There are two new Watchers in town. He is currently meeting with the one, and the other is apparently preparing to kill all of us. We are to pick up Miss Summers and rendez-vous at the library to be briefed and updated." Xander winced at what he was about to say. "Please dress appropriately, we don't wish to shock Mr. Marston."
Faith stared at him for a long moment before letting him go and leaving the kitchen en route to the gym. He heard a scream of frustration, a loud thud, and then a moment later a crash, as the heavy bag she had just punched off the chain slammed into the wall. As she stormed up the stairs to her room, Xander said a silent prayer of thanks that he was still alive. If only for now. He picked up his phone to call Buffy, hoping that she had managed to pull herself together after last night.
A subdued, quiet and orderly trio approached the library. Faith, for once, was wearing an outfit that did leave something to the imagination, though she would not allow herself to be parted from her beloved leather jacket. Buffy had managed to pull herself together for now, but those who knew her could see that she was feeling delicate, and hiding behind a veneer of calm. Xander was just glad that neither of the two super-strong women had tried to kill him yet.
The school was quiet at this early hour, though they could hear Cordelia berating a subordinate somewhere off in the distance. Willow and Oz were being kept out of the meeting for now, until they had a better grasp of who this new Watcher was.
They opened the library doors to see two bespectacled men wearing tweed jackets with leather elbow patches conversing over a tome in low tones. They stopped as the three teens walked in, and Xander stepped forward.
"Watcher Marston? I'm Alexander Harris, Mr. Giles' assistant, and these are the Slayers, Miss Summers and Miss LeHane. Welcome to Sunnydale."
Marston shook his hand with a grin. "Elliott, please. I've always found the overt formality of the Council to be stuffy and unnecessary. Faith, I've only heard a few things about you, and read some of poor Diana's reports, all of which say sterling things about you. Buffy, well, not only have I read Rupert's reports on the longest-lived Slayer in over 150 years, but also the ones that Kendra made to Sam Zambuto. You're a very impressive young woman."
Both young women were slightly non-pulsed by the new Watcher, but also secretly relieved that he wasn't a stuffy idiot.
Elliott continued "Rather than break up the team, as it were, I'm to support Mr. Giles with the research and training. He'll be your primary Watcher, and I'll be filling in for him in areas he can't cover. Having two Slayers is almost unique, and having two in the same place for more than a few days is entirely so, so we may have some, well, fuck-ups, though we'll try to avoid those. If we find this isn't working, then we'll change it. The Council may be slow to adapt, but we'll try to be more, well, reactive."
Now all three teens were failing at keeping shock off their faces. All the stories they'd heard about the Council, both from Giles, and earlier from Kendra (or Diana in Faith's case) led them to believe that it was peopled by ultra-conservative old men. This dynamic Englishman was putting a lie to those stories.
"Now, the reason I am here. I was slated to arrive in California in the new year, rather than early October, but circumstances arose that you needed to prepare for. We have a rogue Watcher, which I admit may not sound all that frightening, but keep in mind this is someone familiar with the supernatural, and in this case Black Magic, and you begin to understand the threat. Gwendolyn Post" at this he produced a folder with a photograph of a moderately attractive blond of middle years "was a researcher for the Council until she was cast out for practicing Black Magic and human sacrifice. She is obsessed over an artifact called the Glove of Myhnegon, and she believes it to have been last seen in the area. Unfortunately, she destroyed most of her research on it, so all we have to go on is the name Von Hauptman. She apparently intends to use it to destroy the Council, starting with you lot, and then take her place as ruler of the world. She's a fruitcake. A very dangerous one, perhaps containing grenades, rather than tuppence. Oh, and as an added complication, a powerful demon called Lagos is also searching for this glove, and has taken to following her, so he's likely to show up as well."
Buffy, being more resilient to the unexpected than her teenaged allies, was the first to recover from this unorthodox briefing.
"So, evil Watcher and nasty demon both want the glove of minivan, which was hidden by the van-opt men. We have to find it first, despite the evil Watcher lady being the one who knows all about it, right?"
Marston looked at her quizzically as Faith and Xander tried their hardest not to laugh, while Giles, standing behind Marston, covered his eyes and shook his head. He snapped out of it before Marston turned to look at him.
"Did you understand any of that?"
Giles shrugged and tried to keep a smile off of his face. "They call it English, but, well, they are colonials." He looked at his young charges, all of whom were sporting looks of annoyance. "I-if it helps, I'm fairly certain she gave a moderately accurate summary of the situation."
The early bell rang before they could get any farther, sending them to class.
The Scoobies were sitting around at lunchtime, with the exception of Cordelia who was still campaigning. Faith was still scowling at Xander, Willow was trying to process the fact that she was banished from her beloved library, Buffy was still trying to get back into the game after the series of curveballs life had been throwing her, Xander was trying very hard to act proper and British, while being terrified that Faith was going to put him in a traction, and Oz was, well, Oz. Aside from comforting his redheaded girlfriend, he seemed pretty much the same as usual.
"So, Mr. Marston is our new Watcher there's another Watcher called Post trying to find a mystical glove to kill everyone and she's being followed by a demon who ALSO wants to kill everyone and the only clue we have is the name Von Hauptman AND that they're both heading this way to try and find it and use it gain phenomenal power and on top of all that Angel showed up last night during your patrol?"
Buffy gave Willow a strange look as the techno-pagan gasped for air after her particularly long run-on sentence.
"First, breathe Wills. Second, yes, that's pretty much where we are. Third, how can you hold your breath that long and manage to talk?"
"Bubbe Rosenberg taught her. You haven't been scolded until you've had that woman enumerate your deficiencies to the world. She must breathe through her ears or something. I knocked a box of cereal of the counter one time when they were up from Miami visiting, and she went off on me for half an hour. Not joking on that time frame, by the way."
Buffy cocked an eyebrow at her well-dressed fake assistant Watcher. "You're telling me that not only did she give you the scolding of a lifetime, but you timed it? And she didn't mind you staring at your watch for the whole thing?"
"Actually my dad timed it. And gave her a 6.2 when she was done. He told her that the volume and duration was impressive, but the time she made his younger brother wet himself in under five minutes was the gold standard. And then he grinned at her until she gave him a very disapproving look and he ran away to hide."
As the teens shook their heads over the eccentricities of the Rosenberg family, Faith had a thought.
"Red, you're Jewish, right?"
"I hope so, otherwise they might make me give back the presents I got for my bat miztva."
Faith pondered that for a second before shaking it off "Well, I'm asking 'cause I noticed that you carry a cross on patrol, rather than a Star of David. 'Sup with that?"
Willow gathered her thoughts for a second before replying "Well, the Star of David is considered a symbol of Judaism, but of the culture, rather than the religion. There is some debate on the topic, but most Rabbis and scholars agree that it isn't a religious symbol, and as such, wouldn't deter vampires at all. Secondly, even if it was a religious symbol, it has nothing to do with conquering the power of death, which is what the symbol of the cross represents. Giles has been trying to get his hands on some of the studies into alternate religious symbols that the Watcher's Council have conducted, but their research bureaucracy moves somewhat slower than a glacier, sooo we may not get the results until we're in our 40's. Lastly, I'm not terribly Jewish, aside from my name, so I'd rather not literally put my neck on the line to test it."
"What do you mean 'Not terribly Jewish'?" Oz asked. Xander was still a little freaked out how little intonation Oz could put in his voice and still convey his meaning. On the other hand, the musician might consider it a game to do so.
"Well, I only go to synagogue when my dad's parent's visit, and I had a bacon cheeseburger last night, violating two of the kosher rules, so, y'know, not terribly Jewish." Willow smiled as she shrugged.
Patrol that night was divided into two groups: Xander, Faith and Marston sweeping through the east side cemeteries, with Buffy and Giles sweeping the west, joined by Oz after they left Marston's sight. Willow was doing research into the Von Hauptman name, at Revello Drive and chatting with Mrs. Summers. Xander and Faith covertly had their radios on them, with the other team being more overt about it.
The plan was for Giles, Buffy and Oz to take a detour to Giles' flat about halfway through and check on the vampire in the basement, determining if it was Angel or Angelus, before continuing on and finally rendezvous with Marston, Faith and Xander at the end. There was a significant amount of worry over Faith's team, seeing as they didn't bring most of the more high-tech toys they had, her armor hadn't arrived yet, and probably wouldn't until the new year, and Xander couldn't get into a Hyena trance around Marston without giving up the game. Sure, they had patrolled under tougher circumstances, but that was no reason to be happy about it.
Patrolling with Marston was not as they had expected. While both Giles and Diana Dormer had relaxed and become "less stuffy" once they grew to know their charges, it had taken quite a while. They hardly expected Marston to insist they call him Elliott if they were going to fight together, and offer them a scotch.
"Look, I know you're underage here, but I don't give a toss for those rules. We're about to engage in life and death combat against supernatural evil, so I figure it's best to take the edge off beforehand. Not enough to get drunk mind you, that'd be moronic. But a quick belt to help you relax might save your life. Or not, but I'm more comfortable facing death knowing I won't pass from this world without the taste of Glenlivet on my lips."
Faith gleefully accepted as Xander passed, and then Marston, I mean Elliott, surprised them again with his reaction to the motorized water guns.
"Bloody good idea if you ask me. Not that those inbred arseholes back in merry old would agree. If it doesn't have five hundred years of history to it, it's too newfangled for them. I expect them to pass an edict any day allowing wheellock pistols."
He also managed to keep up a steady stream of interesting trivia about vampire history and monsters as they patrolled, keeping the whole thing from being boring.
He was telling a story of how he once saw a vampire get drunk when it fed off a lush when Faith cut him off.
"Sorry El, but Slaydar's pinging mad hard up ahead. A dozen plus vamps and something nasty."
"Right. Alexander, call the others, let them know where we are. Then we'll sneak towards them, and see what's going on. If it's too much, we'll engage in a tactical withdrawal."
"En-what in a what?" Faith looked puzzled as Xander grabbed his phone.
"Turn arse and run."
"Got it."
It turned out that there weren't a dozen vampires up ahead. Well, not anymore, at least. In the time it had taken them to move up, the "something nasty", also known as a seven-and-a-half foot tall demon with a wicked looking axe, had managed to reduce that number to four. As they watched, the demon managed to choke-slam one of the remaining vampires into another with his off-hand, and beheaded a third with his axe. The last one decided to engage in the better part of valor, but unfortunately ran right into Faith. And her readied stake.
The big demon finished off the last two just as Faith pulled her stake back, and growled at them. Faith smiled, and before Marston could say anything leapt forward, drawing her sword. Xander unslung his axe with a sigh, and Marston took aim with his crossbow, hoping for a clear shot.
Faith's charge was met by a parrying axe, and a left hook that tossed her ten feet backwards. Xander swept in from the side, hoping to exploit the opening she'd left, but he lacked the speed of his hyena meditation, and ended up catching a returning axe to the belly. He collapsed as Faith gave an anguished cry.
"Well, this is a proper cock-up" Marston muttered as he fired his crossbow, hitting the demon in the shoulder. Discarding his crossbow, he pulled out his half-full mickey of scotch, a handkerchief, and a lighter.
"Such a waste" He bemoaned as he stuffed the cloth into the alcohol and lit it, before throwing the whole thing at the demon.
"Faith, grab Alexander! We need to leave now!"
The brunette slayer picked up her friend gently, and started running towards the car. Marston grabbed the weapons and followed, grateful that Alexander had told him where the hide-a-key was on his car. They reached the vehicle just as Giles and Buffy pulled up.
"What's going on?" Giles asked as Faith gently carried Xander into the back seat.
"We're engaging in a tactical withdrawl!" Marston shouted.
"Right." Giles nodded and gunned it.
AN: For those wondering what Elliott Marston looks like, there should be a link in my profile
As promised, an action scene! And pseudo-religious debate! And Xander getting beat up by more than just Faith!
The bit about the Star of David being a symbol of the Jewish culture is the culmination of a debate I had with a Jewish friend of mine, and we really did go and ask his Rabbi. If you consider it a symbol of faith, mazle tov. I'm not saying it isn't, I'm saying I was told it's not, by a single Rabbi, and I extrapolated from there. He may be wrong. The distinction between the holy symbols conquering death is one I got from a message board, feel free to disagree with it, I'm not saying if it's correct or not.
As for Willow not being very Jewish, well, she does convert to goddess-worship type Wiccan in season 4 or 5, so I don't consider that a big debate point.