As Amy drove the rental car back to the airport she thought about the last few days. She had fully intended to decline the offer to visit with Mary and Meemaw. She even had her excuses all ready; but a nagging curiosity got the better of her and deciding on a compromise she agreed instead of visiting them that she would meet them at a hotel. She figured this way she would be on neutral territory should she so need it and if necessary she would be able to leave with ease. It had not been necessary though. In fact as she drove to the airport now to get the plane to the airport she was almost sorry to be going.

The visit Amy found had been therapeutic in a way she would never have imagined. She had expected accusations and demands but instead found gentle understanding and what she was sure was genuine concern. It was Mary who had surprised Amy the most. They had met before of course and on that visit so early on in her relationship with Sheldon Amy had got the distinct impression that Mary would defend her son come hell or high water. But over the past few days as Mary had gently probed into the past few years of her relationship with Sheldon Amy realised her initial hostility was probably because she thought Amy would never understand her son. Meemaw had not said much at first, she had been warm and welcoming then very quiet as she watched Mary and Amy talk. When Amy began to relax she explained why she had asked Sheldon for some time. She realised as she spoke she had not actually explained the reason to anyone. By the time penny and Bernadette had asked she was already fending off a desperate Sheldon and the reasons had changed. Mary had seemed to understand though.

Amy explained how in the lead up to celebrating her 5 year anniversary with Sheldon Amy had had such hope. A silly thoughtless comment however had led to her initial frustration but when she had returned home she had begun to truly reflect on what she expected in a relationship.

"I was putting my hopes and dreams onto Sheldon, it was a pressure I knew he probably wasn't ready for."

"And he used TV as a way to divert the issue." Mary nodded. "He would do that as a child. If he was in trouble at school he would distract rather than confront the issue. He received many a beating from the neighbourhood kids but I am sure it would have been a great many more if he had not been able to spout his endless trivia on all things related to batman."

Meemaw had interjected at this point chuckling almost sadly "Yes but what works on seven year old does not have the same affect on a woman in your arms."

Amy had blushed at the way Meemaw had so easily realised the cause of her frustrations in the relationship.

I initially thought a few days would give me a chance to calm down, I was angry. Well when he began pestering me I began to feel suffocated." Amy continued. "It was as if he could not let me go because that meant he had lost. Not lost me just lost. He never asked why I wanted to have time. It sounds like I wanted both his attention and space when I say it like that so I guess I should not have been surprised he was confused, I was confused too."

"And if he had asked why you wanted this time?" Mary probed.

"I would have explained I had had a plan. It was a 5 year plan and we had reached the point where in my ideal world we would have been married or planning the wedding. We would have been looking for a house to share and maybe," Amy's voice broke a little as she ended on the whispered "maybe we would be talking about children."

Patting the hand of the girl beside her Mary waited.

"But I knew as soon as he broke our kiss and mentioned that stupid programme that these were my dreams not his. Sure he was happy to call me his girlfriend but as long as his life remained pretty much unchanged then he saw no reason to question anything. When I asked for time I had fully intended rewriting my plan. Maybe proposing some changes to the relationship agreement. But he began calling insistently, asking if I was ready, if everything was OK again. Then he suggested I was just hormonal and I should go for a medical as I was being irrational and I, well I overreacted."

"By leaving?" Meemaw was watching her closely as she asked the question and when Amy nodded in confirmation she gave a small smile and sat back.

"You regret going to New York? I thought your job was going well. At least that is what Penny led us to believe."

"Yes my work is fine. And I could have stayed. But I missed them. My friends."

"So you have come back to see Penny and Bernadette? That is the reason?"

"Well one of them. Yes I missed them. But not just the girls. I missed everyone. They tried to call but I ignored them. Like I had Sheldon. I didn't want to admit I had made a mistake so it was easier to stay away. It was pride."

"And now?"

"Now I want to go home."

"To Sheldon?" Mary looked hopeful.

"I am not sure." Amy replied seriously. "I cant go back and ignore him, I know that. But I also cant go back to how it was before. I need to talk with him I guess."

Amy watched the city grow closely as the plane circled lower. She had told Penny what flight she would be on and her friend had promised to meet her. She had suggested they go have dinner near the airport to catch up before returning to the apartment. Amy guessed this was so Penny could find out how things were without Leonard around. She felt comforted having spoken with Sheldon's relations but the words of his Meemaw as she hugged her goodbye were still on her mind.

"Safe trip Amy. And remember sometimes Sheldon is scared to try new things, not because he does not want too, but because he is scared he will loose control." She had patted Amy's cheek, held her tight for a second then stepped back waving as Amy made her way towards her flight.

Is that why Sheldon had reacted like he had, scared he was loosing control? She supposed she had always done whatever he had requested, she had always gone along with whatever routine or idea he had suggested. Well if they were to remain as even friends Sheldon Cooper would need to learn to listen, and maybe loosen his tight grip on control.

73

"Amy!" Penny jumped up and down waving then ran to hug her friend. "Oh it is so good to see you Ames! I missed you."

"I missed you too bestie." Amy laughed.

Dragging Amy's bag behind her Penny led her friend to the car all the while chatting excitedly. "Bernie was so pissed when I said I was collecting you, she is working late on some new drug that has had some weird side effects, she had given one to Howard and I swear his voice went up 3 octaves! He sounded like he was on helium."

Amy grinned "What was the drug for?"

"Well she is denying it but Leonard and I reckon it was to stop premature ejaculation. She had been boasting about some wonder drug and how it would make women all round the world happy but when Howard started squeaking she began to get all defensive. Tonight they have taken Howard along to run tests."

"Oh boy, I bet he was glad about that!"

"Well he was OK when he thought he was going to be surrounded by nurses but when

Bernie said he would be in a lab and being compared to a monkey, a rabbit and a mouse he was not so keen!"

Chuckling the girls continued to make small talk while Penny drove the sort distance to the restaurant, once seated and with drinks before them Penny said "So you are OK staying at mine? You don't mind with Sheldon being just across the hall."

"No I don't mind. I will have to face him sometime."

"I'm glad you said that because I had an idea. Why don't you have my apartment? It is much easier to find a larger apartment and with all Leonard's toys cluttering my place we will need at least a 2 bed apartment. We had initially suggested swapping with Sheldon, but you can imagine the response we got to the idea of change. Anyway I mentioned it to Leonard and he said there was a house nearer the university that he had seen and it would be ideal. So you could have my place and we would move out."

Amy eyed Penny like she was crazy. "You want me to move I across the hall from Sheldon?"

"You just said you didn't mind."

"For a few days! While I looked for something far enough away we wouldn't keep bumping into each other."

"Oh." Pennys shoulders slumped. "Leonard said you would never go for it but I thought since you have come home you had wanted to make things right between you."

"I do, of course I do; but I think we need more space than a hallway for it to be successful."

"OK." Penny shrugged. "I hate it when Leonard is right, he said you wouldn't go for it. I had thought it would be Sheldon we had trouble convincing…"

"You suggested this to Sheldon? And he didn't mind?" Amy was shocked at this development having expected to spend the next few days dodging him while she hid in Pennys apartment.

"Well Leonard told him thinking he already knew. But he said Sheldon rushed home and was busy preparing."

"Preparing what?" Amy asked cautiously.

"Not sure," Penny frowned, "he said he had things to ask you. We assumed it was advise from his family. You know what Sheldon is like. He will have a list of ways to go back to how things were."

Amy was quiet. This was what she had gone to New York to avoid. "I cant do it." She said looking at her friend sadly. "I cant move in across the hall and pretend this past year hasn't happened."

"Amy, you chose to come back. You did. No-one forced you and no-one will make you do anything you don't want too. Maybe you owe it to Sheldon to explain why you left. You don't have to move in permanently if you don't want too, just a few days like we planned."

"OK." Amy nodded slowly.

73

"Amy where is all the rest of your stuff, I mean you cleared out your old apartment?"

"In storage, I actually didn't unpack most of it." Amy admitted. "I guess I knew I wouldn't stay there forever. I will just get the boxes moved to my new place. And I knew I couldn't bring them here, I will be in the way as it is sleeping on your sofa for a few days."

"You wont be in the way." Penny reassured her. "In fact Leonard wont be there much as he is working really late most nights on some experiment. It will be nice to have some company. In fact I told him to stay at Sheldon's tomorrow so we can have a proper girls night."

As Amy saw the familiar sights of Pasadena around her she became more subdued. "He wont be there." Penny said gently sensing her friends anxiety.

"No I know, he will be at work." Amy nodded. "It is just strange being back. I ran away Penny. I shouldn't have done it and know coming back I realise just what I did and how maybe this was more my fault than I ever admitted to myself."

Penny parked and climbed out if the car fetching Amy's single piece of luggage. "We are your friends Amy, even Sheldon, we want you back here with us but we also want you to be happy."

As Amy climbed to the landing of the fourth floor she felt a wave of emotions wash over her. Apprehension was, she noted, not the main emotion however; more a nostalgia as she recalled the number of times she visited Penny for girls night or Sheldon for date night, now as she waited for Penny to unlock the apartment door she knew she had to focus on rebuilding those relationships and her new life back in Pasadena.

73

As Amy placed her bag next to the familiar bright blue sofa and turned to look at the little changes that showed Penny was now living with Leonard, a comic book next to the latest edition of vogue on the table, the desk and laptop where the infested chair had once been Amy noticed the envelope propped against the bottle of wine.

Her name written in Sheldon's clear bold print.

73

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews and messages. Now Amy is back will things ever get back to the way they were? ;-D

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