Sheldon looked at his watch for what must have been the tenth time in the past hour. He knew Amy's flight had landed, he knew also that she was going to lunch with Penny. Would they have finished by now? Would they be back at Pennys apartment? Would she have found the letter yet? His phone lay silent as if mocking him.

He was not sure what had compelled him to write the note. Maybe it was the anticipation of seeing her again after so long. Maybe it had been the call from his mother telling him Amy had visited. The shock of that and the eventual realisation he needed to do this on his own without interference from either his family or their mutual friends had led to him putting his thoughts onto paper.

Now, sat at his desk staring at the blank whiteboards and knowing he would accomplish nothing today was not helping. He had asked in the note if she would meet him. He knew living in such close proximity may cause them both to feel awkward so he had suggested the pizza place near her old apartment in the hope that a neutral territory would make her feel more comfortable. But by his calculations they would have been home at least an hour now and he knew by propping the note against a bottle of wine Penny would have found it even if Amy hadn't. So did that mean her answer was no?

Sighing at his own impatience he stood. Maybe a trip to see Leonard would help. Maybe he would have heard from Penny and would be able to set his, Sheldon's, mind at rest. On entering the lab however he did not find Leonard hard at work but instead on the phone in the middle of what seemed to be a heated argument.

"But you said she had agreed. I even told Sheldon. OK, yes I know it is not your fault but you can explain to Sheldon."

"Explain to Sheldon what?" Sheldon asked causing Leonard to almost drop the phone in shock as he spun round. "Hey buddy. Er Penny wants to talk to you."

Thrusting the phone at him Leonard backed away.

"Penny? Hi, yes I am with Leonard. I take it you collected Amy safely and are home?"

"Yes, but what the frak Sheldon! When did you break in and leave notes and wine?"

"I would hardly call it breaking in; I had a key. And it was a welcome back gift." Sheldon knew he was being defensive but the tone in Pennys voice seemed to indicate the gift had not been well received.

"Sheldon I thought we spoke about this. Amy does not need you pressuring her."

"It was just a bottle of wine Penny…"

"Yes and a letter. Sheldon she has barely landed and you are already putting pressure on her. Do you want her to go again?"

"No of course not. That is precisely what I don't want and I thought if I got the chance to explain then it would help. I thought a letter would be better than me waiting outside your door, it would not be so direct and intimidating… but what exactly is it you wanted to tell me. Leonard is hopping form foot to foot here and I am sure it is not because I left a bottle of wine as a welcome home gift for Amy."

"No it isn't. Look, Leonard told you we were moving, that Amy would be taking over my apartment?"

"Yes, you know he did."

"Well she isn't. She will stay a few days but that's all."

"Oh. Is this because I left the letter?"

"No Sheldon. In fact I don't think Amy was as annoyed by that as I was." Penny mused, more to herself than Sheldon. "No she said it was too close. She wants to find somewhere else."

"She is not there with you now?" Sheldon knew Penny would not be telling him this if Amy was stood next to her.

"No she has gone out, she was picking up her car I think, she also said she had some errands to run. Why?"

Sheldon glanced at his watch almost scared to hope. "Did she tell you what was in the note I left her?" "

"No. Why what did you say Sheldon? I swear if you have upset her..."

"Look I don't want to upset Amy," Sheldon said impatiently now. "And I will not put pressure on her to stay in your apartment or anywhere else for that matter. Now if that is all you had to tell me I will let you continue shouting at Leonard; I only came down to tell him I would not be requiring a ride home." Thrusting the phone back towards Leonard Sheldon hastily left the lab. He knew he was making a big assumption, something he would not normally do; but maybe just maybe, Amy was willing to meet him. He had an hour before the time he suggested just enough time to go home, change and get to the restaurant.

73

The car was a different model than the previous vehicle she had driven here but as Amy shifted the manual gear stick and felt the power of the engine she grinned. Sensible, cautious, no risk Amy was gone. Bold, brave, take a risk Amy was here and this car was just her first step. She had been shocked to see Sheldon had left her a note at Pennys, she had been even more shocked when on reading it he suggested meeting. The note however was not in the tone of a demand or even a request, more a suggestion that was entirely up to her. Thinking back Amy could not remember Sheldon ever making a suggestion that did not serve his own purpose. The relationship agreement was in reality one long document ensuring Sheldon always got his own way, yet today it seemed he was offering to sit in a location he had previously refused to enter and wait for her not knowing if she would even show. While she was tempted to wait until she could choose a time and location for them to meet, preferably surrounded by Penny and Bernadette for support, Amy knew that striking while she was in a positive mood was wise and even if the meeting only proved they could be friends and nothing more it would be worth it.

Forgetting Sheldon for the moment and concentrating on her new car Amy felt herself relax. Things would be different but that was OK. Turning at the next set of signals Amy began heading back to Pennys apartment. Wanting to change Amy began to mentally go through the items of clothing squashed into her one piece of luggage. Nothing new, nothing she decided that would represent the new Amy. A last minute decision had Amy swinging into the parking lot of the shopping mall and locking the car. Pulling her bag onto her shoulder Amy headed toward a shop she was never normally brave enough to enter. Surveying the racks of clothes Amy realised she did not want to dress like Penny in clothes that showed of far more flesh than she was comfortable with, nor did she want tight clothes that constricted her movement. What she needed, she realised, was just something lighter, in both colour and fabric maybe. Selecting some skirts and blouses Amy headed for the changing room. She was thankful the store was almost empty due to it being the middle of the working day so she was able to take her time selecting items she was comfortable in. Three new outfits later Amy left the store and returned to her car. She did not have long now, so quickly leaving the car out front of the building she climbed the stairs to Pennys apartment and let herself in. She was ready again in less than 15 minutes and making her way back to the car she decided tomorrow she would add a trip to a shoe shop to her list of jobs to do. Her comfy shoes not quite complimenting her new look were definitely better than the alternative heels, but she was sure a compromise would be found if she looked and then she could begin the hunt for her new apartment.

Amy realised she was at the restaurant far sooner than she had expected, distracted as she had been by planning her days ahead. She looked towards the restaurant and was relieved to see it appeared empty. Whether that meant Sheldon was not there yet or just out of sight she wasn't sure, but as she turned to pick up her bag and looked again she felt her heart stop. There he was.

Walking in his confident manner not taking in the people he passed, dressed as she remembered him in his brown jacket, bag across his chest suggesting he had come straight from work. She saw him look toward the cars parked around her but he never paused as his gaze swept over her car, not recognising the vehicle she was in. Letting out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding Amy sat for a few more seconds trying to calm down. She had seriously thought this meeting would be easy. She had thought new clothes and a new car would give her an advantage psychologically. But one glimpse of him and she felt like she had the day of the prom, breathing erratic, heart racing and a conflicting urge to both run away fast and throw herself into his arms.

Finally feeling calm enough to face him Amy walked towards the restaurant. As she entered she couldn't help but smile as she heard his voice.

"No, that is not the table I requested. I require a table that is situated near enough to the kitchen that our food arrives at the desired temperature, yet not so near we feel we could reach out and cook it ourselves. While this table is located close enough to the door for a quick exit I do not wish to have to be disturbed every time your patrons enter or exit your establishment."

"Sir, this is out finest table. I can assure you you will not be disturbed. At this time of the day custom is slow."

"Why? What is wrong with this time of day? Your food is not up to the standard of late evening?"

"No of course not. It is just not many people wish to eat their evening meal, or take a late lunch for that matter, at 5.15."

Amy could tell the manager was beginning to loose patience with Sheldon and knowing if she did not inform him of her arrival soon he would have lost not just this but the opportunity of any table she moved into his eye line.

"Hello Sheldon."

Sheldon froze. Turning he stared at Amy for several long seconds before moving around the man between them and wrapping her in the tightest hug she had every received. Stunned she didn't move and sensing her discomfort Sheldon quickly pushed away saying, "Amy, I'm sorry. I did not mean to intrude on your personal space, I am just so pleased to see you." Then blushing as his words registered he turned to the man watching curiously. "This table is fine thank you."

Retreating before the mad man could find anything else to complain about the manager made his way behind the bar. Sensing the couple before him would be a challenge he grabbed two glasses and a bottle of the house white and returned, placing them in the centre of the table.

"We did not order wine." Sheldon frowned.

"It is with our compliments sir." The manager smiled and turned to Amy, "Madam."

"Thank you. However I am driving so will not be drinking. Please can I have a glass of tepid water." She saw Sheldon grin and flashed him a small smile knowing he was, like her, thinking of their first meeting.

"Make that two!" Sheldon grinned and shaking his head the manager disappeared.

"You have a car already? You only arrived today didn't you?" Sheldon had expected Penny to drop Amy here today and had hoped she would give them both a ride home later.

"Yes well I will need a car and there seemed no point waiting. I will give you a ride later it is great fun!"

Sheldon was unsure why riding home would be great fun but not wanting to question her obvious good humour he asked cautiously "Things went OK in Texas?"

"Yes Sheldon your family are lovely. I admit I was nervous and nearly did not go. But I am glad I finally got to meet Meemaw in person."

Nodding unwilling to probe to far in case Amy thought he was being too pushy Sheldon waited for her to speak again. After a few awkward minutes as they sipped their water he could take the quiet no more and said "I'm sorry Amy. I am sorry I forced you to move away."

Amy looked at the sincerity on his face and knew this was not him repeating a phrase instructed by friends or family.

"Thank you Sheldon. But I should be apologising to you too. I ran away. I did not explain and it was unfair of me to leave in such a manner."

"Will you explain now?" Sheldon asked. He knew from a message his mother had sent him that Amy had talked openly to his family yet he was still as confused as he had been a year ago.

"OK." Amy nodded. "It sounds silly though. I tried to explain to your family and as I listened to myself I realised how silly it sounded. I will try to explain but I need to say a year ago I felt so much pressure the reasons made more sense than they do today."

"OK." Sheldon nodded.

"When you kissed me on the night of our anniversary," Amy began slowly, "I felt so happy. It felt to me in that moment that everything we had been through to get to that point made sense. We had ignored the advise of our friends, peers and social convention and taken our relationship at our pace and reached this point where we were sat in your apartment kissing and it just felt so right.

I wanted more Sheldon. I did not want you to stop kissing me. I wanted you to feel what I was feeling; and for that split second I really thought you did. When I felt your hand on my leg and your lips on mine I thought you felt the same. But you didn't. The realisation that we wanted different things right then, and possible always, hit me so hard. I need to adjust. I needed to decide if I could wait for you to catch up with me and my feelings."

Sheldon stared at Amy as he registered her words he could almost picture them sat on his sofa. He could almost feel the fabric of her skirt on his fingers, the taste of her on his lips. "Did you tell my mother all this?" He squeaked, the thought of his mother and Meemaw knowing such personal details suddenly making him feel like a small child again.

Amy stared at him, shocked. Then almost shaking herself out of a trance she continued, "No Sheldon don't worry I did not tell your mother about us making out. Or how I desired your body! Look what I need to say is that I accept you did not want these things. I accept my role in your life was as a companion who shared similar interests. But maybe it was in accepting that I also realised I needed more than just that." Taking a deep breath Amy continued. "I ran away because if I had stayed I would have let you convince me I wanted the same as you. But I don't. I don't want that kind of relationship."

"You have met someone?" Sheldon asked in a voice barely more than a whisper.

"Look this isn't about me meeting someone else Sheldon, it is about what we do next. I am back. I am back and will be working back at Caltech too. We share friends and I would like to see them as I did before."

Sheldon nodded. "I want us to be friends too." he said honestly. Then bit his lip as he tried to work out how to explain he wanted more. How could he tell her he wanted the same things she did without sounding like he was pressuring her. As their food provided a small distraction and allowed Sheldon to try to work out how to put his feelings into words.

Amy sat watching Sheldon push his food around his plate. She had hoped they could find some sort of peace at this meeting but as she tried to swallow each mouthful of food Amy felt the optimism she had on arrival slowly leave. Wanting to fill the silence se said, "your mother and Meemaw sent their love. I should have told you that straight away, sorry."

Sheldon nodded but said nothing.

"I was surprised how young Meemaw looked. And how sprightly she is!" Amy tried again desperately.

Nodding again Sheldon said "yes, she has always been active. Age has not slowed her down."

Frustrated Amy threw down her fork and exclaimed "OK Sheldon, I am sorry I spoke about our private affairs to your family. I am sorry I left. I am sorry I did not stay the emotionless scientist you met 5 years ago!"

Sheldon blinked at Amy, shocked at her sudden anger and stunned that she thought this was how she felt.

"Amy," he said quietly. "First, we did not have an affair, we were -""

Standing suddenly Amy said, "I cant do this Sheldon. I can sit here as you deny there was anything between us. I cant sit here and listen to you moan about my meeting your family, or telling them we kissed. I'm sorry I am an embarrassment to you."

Then leaving him open mouthed Amy walked out of the restaurant.

73

Sat in the parking lot Amy shook. How could he be worried about what they thought but not her? How could he completely forget he had left her without a word a few years ago too? How had she been so stupid to think this would ever work? Taking a few deep breaths Amy tried to calm down. She did not want to go back to Pennys. She couldn't face the questions. Maybe a little visit to the lab would help. Starting the car she headed in the direction of Caltech and hoped a cuddle from Ricky would make everything OK.

73

"Sir? Your guest, she is coming back?" The waiter stood staring at the motionless man before him.

Sheldon stood suddenly, as if the voice of the waiter had broken his trance. Grabbing his jacket he threw some money onto the table and hurried for the door.

Shaking his head the waiter gathered up the money and half empty plates and began clearing away, making a mental note that if he were ever to return he would sit the crazy man in someone else's section.

Sheldon meanwhile had run round to the parking lot. He did not even know what car she drove now, but seeing each vehicle was empty he knew he had missed her. Yet again he had driven her away. As he let his eidetic memory replay the conversation in his mind he registered the look on her face when he had asked if she had told his mother of their kissing. He also realised his denying their relationship should be categorised as an affair could have been misinterpreted.

He had wanted to explain an affair was sordid, while what they had enjoyed was so much more. He should have also, he realised now, explained he himself had told his family of their more intimate activities and his concern was not his mother knowing but her making Amy feel uncomfortable or pressured as he himself had felt. Sighing he began to walk. He could call Leonard and ask for a ride but that would lead to awkward questions and explanations as to why he was at the restaurant. Would Amy have told Penny and Leonard he had asked to meet and had messed up again? Would they be waiting to point out how he had once again messed up? Unable to face them stating the obvious, or seeing the hurt on Amy's face again Sheldon turned in the direction of the university. Maybe work would clear his mind and then he would be able to think straight and work out how he was going to be able to put things right with Amy.

73