Chapter 12

Izzy, Jace and Magnus all stood motionless in the living room of the warlock's apartment, all waiting and dreading the worst. A circle was drawn on the wooden floor in chalk, with a few objects tossed into the centre. There were at least a dozen candles dotted around the room, all lit to create a foggy haze of smoke which made the air smell strangely like freshly cut grass. Other than this scent, the only thing that filled the space was the dread that was emitted from each of the three figures - this was it, the final moment of confusion before they would finally know where Alec was

The room was silent other than the sound of hollow breaths and Magnus muttering the spell in an ongoing chant. The low hum of his voice seemed to curl around the room like collecting dust, a numb buzz of words that was spoken in a language that neither Izzy nor Jace could understand. The two Nephilim could only stand and wait by the edge of the circle, both riled in anticipation for what was to come.

Suddenly, Magnus' eyes flew open and he spun around to face the Shadowhunters that stood behind him. One moment he was held in a trance as his lips chanted as if they had a mind of their own. His mind was fixed on Alec, his imagination creating a mental image of him as was required for the spell to work. It needed a clear image of the person they were looking for, a detailed mental reconstruction of Alec, but Magnus had never had any problem thinking of Alec. The only problem he faced was controlling himself. Remembering Alexander - thinking of his deep crystal eyes, his soft, cool skin and the toned complexion of every muscle of his body - could be heavenly, but at the same time it was equally painful and struck a nerve of longing in Magnus that had tears threatening to pool from his eyes. Yet he had to stay in control and held back the tears so that he could at least retain his dignity.

"Jace," he commanded and watched the blonde teen send him a look of confusion. Magnus hadn't told them about this bit of the spell yet - he hadn't told them much about it at all - but he knew that there was nothing that either of them wouldn't do for Alec. He still couldn't deny that there was a certain attractiveness in the way that Jace's features were allined, especially when he frowned, but that was nothing to be thinking of now, when a life was potentially on the line.

"Jace, step inside the circle," Magnus told him, and Jace hesitantly stepped forward. He was careful not to step on the chalk line, which Magnus was grateful for, but he took no further steps once he was inside the circle. Even Isabelle sent Magnus a questioning look.

"What do you need me for?" Jace asked.

"You're his parabatai, the connection will be stronger through you," Magnus explained, beckoning him forwards, and just as he'd expected Jace did as he said without any further resistance. Magnus moved also, seating himself crossed-legged in the middle of the circle, where a map was laid out on the floor. Jace took the hint and sat opposite him, crossing his legs similarly. He seemed confused unsure of what to do or how to act. The blonde was obviously sensitive to the fact that what he did now could have an impact on how quickly they located Alec, Magnus could see how much he cared just by how quiet the usually loud-mouthed teen was acting.

"What do I do?" Jace wondered, slightly weary as he took his seat. Magnus took out a velvet pouch from the pocket of the robe he wore and tipped it upside-down in his hand. A palm sized crystal dropped out, coloured a deep black that seemed to carry its own endless abyss on the shine of its surface. He held it out to Jace.

"Hold this between your palms, like this," he instructed, demonstrating before handing the small crystal to the Nephilim and praying that he could follow simple instructions. "This method of scrying works very similarly to the tracking rune you used, but obviously without any runes. The only addition is that of Magic and the use of a map, to show where Alexander is located." Jace glanced down and noticed that the map on the ground between them was one of New York, with a mess of roads and buildings covering the page.

"What if he isn't in New York?" Jace queried.

"Then the crystal won't land, and we will have to re-try on a map of a larger scale." Jace nodded back; he'd feared that the answer would be worse.

"I'll be using you as only as a channel," Magnus continued to explain, "a route in which to find Alec. It should be easier considering the existing connection from the tracking rune. All you have to do is think of him, think of what you saw through the rune and try to reach out to him with your mind."

Magnus guided Jace's hands, clutched together tightly around the crystal, so that they hovered over the map and placed his own hands around Jace's. Within seconds the warlock's palms were warm as though they were being held up to a fireplace, and were gaining heat quickly. Jace was hot like a flame, and had Magnus not known that his immortality would protect him from any long term damage he would never have willingly touched Jace for as long as he knew he would have to for the spell to succeed.

"Close your eyes and open your mind," Magnus advised Jace in a low voice. "Let me in."

Jace nodded back and let his eyes lull shut, forcing himself to forget everything around him. His mind fled straight to thoughts of panic, but he redirected them towards ones of Alec, forcing himself to think of his parabatai. A flood of memories invaded his mind, many old, distant thoughts from years ago when he and Alec would train and fight together, as well as a few more recent ones that were enthralled more with passion than friendship. He was aware of the fact that Magnus was seeing these images too, but he told himself not to be conscious of that. Do it for Alec, so that he's safe...

Magnus was chanting, mostly through gritted teeth, but his eyes remained sealed shut and his hands held to Jace's no matter how hot the Nephilim's skin seemed to burn. Seconds, minutes, hours - there was no way to know how much time had gone by, spells had no concept of time. But nothing happened for a while, nothing changed. Magnus was beginning to wonder if the spell was working, if he'd missed something, but his worries were soon set to rest. Unexpectedly, a quick flash of light set off like fireworks, visible through Magnus' closed eyelids, as the circle he and Jace sat in was suddenly engulfed in blue flames.

Jace's mind seemed to have been set on fire, blue flames shooting through every nerve in his body. He wasn't sat in Magnus' apartment any longer, he was somewhere else, restrained by a million strong ropes and unable to breathe as though his head was submerged in water. Cold tightened around his muscles and paralysed him, painful and numb at the same time, but the feeling didn't seem real. He felt as though he was trapped in a dream, his senses overwhelmed by feelings that weren't his to feel. He was shivering, quite violently so, and it didn't take him particularly long for him to take notice of the fact that his skin was completely bare other than a pair of thin boxers to retain his dignity. The fabric, however, did nothing to fight the cold, which gripped his body as if he was encompassed in a block of ice. His skin felt like ice for a while, but before long it just felt like he had no skin - no skin, no muscle, no bone, nothing. He was weightless, but the feeling was more scary than it was enlightening.

But after what felt like the most endless of seconds, something clicked and suddenly he was back to normal again, back in Magnus' apartment as though he'd never left. In a heartbeat he was warm again, the cool surface of the crystal he held in his palms and Magnus' hands over his drawing him back to reality. He drew in a breath, keeping his eyelids locked together, but with that breath came an unexpected jolt in his chest - the only warning he ever got before Heavenly Fire was released to burn ablaze through his veins. He was sure he was about to explode, and could only draw quick breaths to try and hold it in as best as he could. He didn't want to hurt Magnus or Isabelle, and he had a strong feeling that magic would only act as gasoline to the flames if they were to erupt, but there was no way that he could warn them. He held his breath as best as he could, having to face the dread of what was surely about to singe Magnus' apartment building into ash.

And yet, in the final second when Jace was sure he was about to die, something other than the Heavenly Fire appeared in his mind. It was cold, deadly so, but poured into his heart and flowed through his veins at such an icy temperature that it counteracted the fire and left behind a warm glow. It was a feeling Jace had only felt once before, at a much lower level of intensity but the same cooling feeling that an ice cream provided on the hottest of summers day. Last time the Fire had gotten out of control there had been only one person's presence who seemed to help at all, and that was what made Jace sure that the spell had worked: Alec. Jace desperately tried to grasp the connection - it felt like Alec was standing right before him, and all he had to do was reach out and grab onto him - but before he could secure a good grip, he opened his eyes to see blue all around him, and he was yet again trapped in the ice-cold hell that he'd experienced before.

Alec felt the same shift. He was freezing, and had been so cold for so long that he was numb to it all. The cold felt normal, and it felt normal also for his skin to body to be so light, as though he was on a cloud...

His mind had fallen away from him, dancing off into an abyss of memories and imaginary worlds, worlds where he was with Jace and Izzy and Max. For a while at a time he was able to forget where he was and just live in his daydreams, pretending that everything was alright - he was even able to convince himself that his baby brother was still alive for a time. But every once in a while, reality would snatch him back and draw him back to the cold. It hurt, not only physically but to be yanked so suddenly from his dreams only to remember that they couldn't be true. He went through the same grief over and over every time he recalled what had happened to Max, but if he cried his tears only mixed with the ice cold water that surrounded him.

But all of a sudden, something changed. Alec saw a light surround him, blue and hazy like a ring of flame, and the light was warm. Alec tried to shift forward, eager to inch even a little bit closer to the warmth, but he was unable to move. He closed his eyes, giving into the fact that he was obviously hallucinating again, but when his eyes opened again he was somewhere else, somewhere safe and warm that he immediately recognised.

Somehow, he was in Magnus' apartment, a space he knew was the living room despite how different it was. He was sitting on the hard floor, surrounded by blue flames which were wrapped around the room in a circle. But he quickly dismissed the strange surroundings when he realised what was right ahead of him - Magnus, sat with his eyes closed and his lips forming words that Alec was unable to hear. He was shocked, and overcome with a feeling that couldn't be described as relief or even love - it was more than that, a force that pushed him towards the delicious warlock with a hard shove.

There was something in his hands, but he discarded it immediately, not even hearing it clatter to the ground before him before he dove forward to Magnus, uttering his name as Alec's hand slid behind the warlock's neck to draw their lips together. Magnus didn't pull away, but only let Alec's full name slip between his lips and join Alec in a passionate kiss that distracted him from the spell he was meant to be casting. The kiss was warm and wet, tasting so genuinely Magnus that Alec didn't think for a moment that it could be a dream. But the connection was cut horribly short, and within seconds Alec was plunged back into the dark depths that had understandably become Alec's worst fear.

Jace was relieved when he was warm again - he couldn't have been trapped in that freezing hell for more than a few more seconds but it had felt and ached like forever. He was so glad to be back that he didn't even properly process where his hands and lips were situated until seconds after re-entering his body. His lips were locked with another's, his hand pulling them towards him with a firm grip around the back of their head. The kiss was hungry, desperate, but enthralled with so much passion and longing that Jace was ultimately taken off guard. He wondered for a brilliant moment whether it was Alec that he was kissing, but even his parabatai had never kissed him quite like this before. Besides, he was sure it wasn't Alec when his fingers brushed over hair that was too long to be Alec's.

"Magnus," he breathed, breaking away from the kiss as the warlock pulled away even quicker, his eyes wide and staring at Jace with more disappointment than shock. Magnus' hands were still cradling Jace's free hand, holding on tight as though he was afraid to let go. Jace didn't move his hand, seeing the pain in Magnus' face and assuming it was the least he could do, but the warlock took his hands away as quickly as he'd ended the kiss, his left hand holding his right like it had been harmed by Jace's skin - even though he knew that Magnus healed quickly, Jace hoped he wasn't burnt.

"Jace - holy crap!" Within moments Izzy was there, rushing towards them with a look that was both angry and filled with worry - it was an expression she seemed to be sporting quite often lately. The bright blue flames had vanished from the circle and all of the candles seemed to have been blown out. It was dark without them, outside even darker without any moon the light the sky. "It's been hours, what happened?"

It hadn't felt like hours, but that didn't matter, as Izzy's questions were lost and all three of them stared down at the map that was still laid out on the ground. The black crystal had fallen from Jace's grip at some point and now it sat proudly on the map. Jace wasn't surprised to see that it had landed right on the edge of the Hudson River.