Chapter 5: Table Talk
When they return to Grimmauld place, the trio are surprised to find the house clean, with Sirius himself looking well groomed if a little dark under the eyes. Sirius had dutifully cleaned the house out of shame the previous night. He didn't want any trace left of his activities while they were gone. Though the alcohol had not yet completely left his system.
"No house parties then while we were gone, eh Sirius?" Harry joked.
"Not a chance." He gave Harry a bear hug.
"Or maybe he did rough up the place and that's why he had to clean it afterwards," Ron said.
Hermione's eyes flashed angrily at him. "Boys, please. If Sirius wants to kiss-and-tell what he did over the weekend, I'm sure he will but right now we only have ten minutes or so before the Order arrives. I don't think they'd be impressed to stumble into that sort of conversation."
"Then you have nothing to worry about Hermione, for I have nothing to tell," Sirius said gallantly, using his Lord Black voice.
Hermione met his eyes skeptically. She wasn't sure anymore if his anti-marriage playboy act had simply been a ruse to get her to forget his exclusion from the wedding and not feel sorry for him. The thought that it was act had occurred to her many times during the wedding.
Ron loudly interjected, "Wait there's an Order meeting happening? Why was I not informed of this?"
"Because you're not an Order member Ron," Hermione explained with the patience of a mother for a retarded child.
"Then how is it that you know, Hermione?"
"Maybe because I spent a little time with the adults, Ronald, while you spent the whole wedding making fart jokes and pranks with your cousin Elfred."
"Elfred is an adult. He's nineteen!"
"...with the mental maturity of a 12 year old!" Hermione finished.
Harry intervened before Hermione and Ron erupted into another tit-for-tat argument.
Harry grabbed Hermione by the shoulders. "Hermione quit acting like a forty-year-old, Elfred may have the mental maturity of a 12 year old but his and Ron's pranks are the only thing that made the wedding bearable for me."
"What they did is royally piss off Shacklebot, who, I may remind you, is practically the leader of the Order after Dumbledore!" Hermione shouted.
Sirius ears perked in interest. "Wait, you got Shacklebot? Now this I've got to hear."
"Even better, Sirius, the whole thing is on the wedding film," Ron said proudly, "A classic. It never gets old."
Sirius grinned but was a little saddened as Hermione stormed out of the room. He hadn't seen her for what felt like ages, and he wanted to follow her though the wedding film also interested him. But he couldn't. What possible excuse could he make for throwing off the boys or the Order to go straight to Hermione, the friend of his godson? No one would understand. He didn't understand it himself.
They had just finished watching the filmed prank and Harry was wiping the tears from his eyes when a very irritated looking Kingsley Shacklebot arrived ahead of time in the fireplace of the living room. Perhaps he had hoped to find Ron by himself, though said Weasley had long since fled Grimmauld place in anticipation of such an occurrence.
"Kingsley, my man, how are you?" Sirius said trying to wipe all traces of humour off his face as Harry choked back a laugh beside him.
"Hello, Black. Hello, Harry," Kingsley said stiffly, guessing at the source of the suppressed laughter.
Sirius subtly slapped his godson's back to get him to stop.
"You're looking very well Kingsley. And look at that, you're here early, no one has arrived yet!" Sirius pandered on.
"Yes, I wondered if I might have some time to speak with a certain Ron Weasley. Is he here?"
Sirius looked over at Harry for some excuse.
Harry quickly provided one. "Um, no, Ron had to leave. He said something about having to catch a quidditch match between the Chudley Cannons and...What was the other team Sirius?"
"Bollocks if I remember, the Harpies was it?"
"No, it couldn't have been, they don't play this season."
"Though maybe it was the Windergnomes?"
"Nevermind!" Kingsley shouted angrily, "When will he be back?"
"We don't know," Harry said.
"Ron's sincerely dedicated to the game. Come rain or shine," Sirius added.
"Well tell him that I want a word with him when he gets back. Okay?"
"Alright, can do, no problem."
Kingsley narrowed his eyes at Sirius but then just sighed and went to his seat at the dining room table. He didn't have to wait much longer for the meeting to begin. One after the other, the Order of the Phoenix members arrived through the floo network right on the hour. Snape was the last to arrive and came with the news that Dumbledore would be unable to attend "Because," Snape said as he looked pointedly at Sirius, "not everyone has endless freetime on their hands." Sirius rolled his eyes at the insufferable potions master. Though much time had passed since his Hogwarts days, Sirius still felt the urge to insult the greasy git whenever he saw him but he bit back his tongue.
In lieu of Dumbledore's absence, Kingsley headed the meeting. As they sat around the table, it was with genuine surprise that Sirius noted a definite tension between Remus and Tonks. Tonks kept on glancing sideways at the werewolf while Remus looked everywhere around the room except at her. Perhaps Molly was right after all.
Kingsley cleared his throat. "While we have had a, shall we say, distracting week with the Weasley wedding..."
Kingley looked steadily around the table, daring anyone to laugh or so much as smirk at him. None did, except Tonks who stupidly covered up her smile with her hand, only making it more obvious that she was trying not to laugh at her boss. Sirius looked at Remus, who just rolled his eyes.
"...it may please you to know that while we provided security at the wedding, we also garnered some new intelligence from among the guests. A certain acquaintance of Charlie told us the death eaters have been infiltrating the vampiric society in Romania as part of a transcontinental attempt at recruitment. So far as we know, the vampires in that area have been very receptive to Voldemort and may prove dangerous if they help spread his message among other vampire groups in Europe. Vampires, being what they are, have never had any regard for muggles or mudbloods...except as...well you get the picture," Kingsley stifled a cough.
"Don't generalize Kingsley, not all vampires hold such a base opinion of muggles," Snape interrupted haughtily in his annoyingly deep voice, "It was actually I who made the acquaintance of Mister Alexander Vladimir and he is himself a vampire, a Romanian colleague of Charlie."
Sirius felt doubly irked to know that Molly had invited both a vampire and Snape to the wedding but not him. As if reading his thoughts, Snape smirked triumphantly at him. Sirius crossed his arms.
Snape added silkily, "Mister Vladimir is a gentleman of cultivated taste. Never once did I feel threatened that he was a vampire. We got along splendidly."
Well of course they would, Sirius thought bitterly, the greasy git looks like a vampire himself.
Mad-Eye grunted his disapproval. "I don't care for this new politically correct speak, I call 'em like I see 'em. If a man eats steaks, he doesn't invite livestock to his home as friends or equals. Vampires are always on the scour for a better meal offer, which is precisely why they'd side with Voldemort. He'd like to see an expansion of their hunting grounds."
"I agree," Sirius said with crossed arms. It was about all he said that evening.
Everyone looked at him.
Sirius raised his brows. "What? I don't trust vampires."
Snape's lips curled as if to say make a snide remark but he was interrupted by Kingsley.
"In any case," Kingsley stared down at both Sirius and Snape, warning them with his eyes to not start, "This particular vampire has proven trustworthy. So far. He has also generously agreed to help us keep a tab on these activities in his region. He has suggested we establish similiar informants in the vampiric community of each country, if only in hot spots of criminal activity. Who agrees with this action?"
Several hands were raised to ask questions about the vampires alliance but Sirius was more focused on glaring at Snape across the table then in listening.
He felt certain that Snape was using his occlumency powers of nonverbal speech to tell him 'Fuck off, Black'.
Sirius in turn, not trained in occlumens, was trying very hard to concentrate on the word "Wanker" but he wasn't sure Snape was getting his message.
Finally he just gave Snape the rude hand gesture for it while Kingsley was looking the other way. Snape's eyes darkened and Sirius smiled.
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A/N: Hee hee isn't Sirius so mature when he's fighting with Snape? LOL but Snape is immature too, they both act like schoolboys when they fight. More Snape/Sirius fights to come later.
And special thanks to Jily for reviewing! Also thanks to RoaringLion51 and guest. You all have honourary membership in the Sirius Black Society/S.P.E.W.I.
Next part posted at around 8pm today.