Set late season 5, anytime before 5x23 (the human factor) (ps special thanks to Alex for beta-ing, you're lovely)

"Please come home," his voice rings through the phone, his words pleading.

She replays the voicemail again, listens to his apologies as she stares down at the dark liquid in her mug, focusing on the spoon she's circling around the edges of it, and watching the lightness of the cream mix with the darkness of her coffee.

She could call him, should call him, but their fight had hurt, his words had dug up old wounds, and she isn't quite sure she can forgive him yet.

"All you ever do is run Kate, how am I supposed to know that won't be the case when we have kids?" he asks, his voice low, and somehow his subdued, quiet anger seems scarier than the thought of him yelling.

"Rick," she replies. "That's not me anymore. You know that's not me anymore."

She hasn't run since before they were together, since that summer after her shooting, but something has stirred up this uncertainty in him and she can't figure out what it is.

"Do I?"

"Rick, I love you, more than anything," she promises, her voice even, calm, trying not to make the situation any worse. "And when we have kids, and I want that to be a when, not an if, I'll love them even more. I promise you, I will never willingly leave either of you, not ever."

"You can't promise that, Kate."

But she can, she will.

"Don't you trust me?" she asks, this time allowing the hurt she's feeling to slip into her words.

"It's not that… I just –"

"What?" she questions when he doesn't continue, annoyance slipping into her tone.

"Never mind, it's nothing. Let's just drop it."

"Rick."

"I said drop it." He's tense, upset, so she will. For now, at least.

"Okay, yeah, fine. I'm gonna to go, though. I'll be back in a bit, I guess," she says, grabbing the jacket she had left on the chair on her way in, throwing it on as she heads towards the door.

"Kate, wait –" he pleads, his footsteps echoing as he follows after her.

"I'll see you later," she replies, not turning back as she closes the door behind her.

She wandered the streets for a while, aimlessly, didn't want to go back to her apartment, not without him, but she'd been hurt, confused, and she wasn't sure she as ready to go back to the loft, not yet.

She found herself outside of Karma's, a coffee shop she began frequenting after she stayed with him a few years back. It's close to the loft and open at all hours so she'd grown fond of it, began coming more and more often, especially after she began seeing Castle. She looked up, found the blue sign flashing "24 hours" comforting, familiar, and walked inside, ordered a coffee from Stacey, a barista she's become friendly with over the years.

"You okay, Kate?"

"Fine," she'd assured, smiling as she accepted and paid for her coffee. She walked to the back of the shop, finding their usual booth empty, the worn navy blue leather seats calling her.

She's been here for an hour now, the majority of that time spent listening to his voicemail, the rest contemplating their relationship. He said he hadn't meant it, that they'd talk more about it when she came home, but something had shaken his trust in her, and she wanted to figure out what it had been.

She'd brought up the idea of having kids, something she'd thought he wanted, and that had sparked something. He started questioning her, asking how he could trust her after that summer, but she thought they were okay now, had moved past that.

Apparently not.

She can't figure out why he would think she'd leave him, them. Can't figure out his apparent trust issues. She loves him, would love their child just as much, more even, and she can't even fathom the thought of leaving her family, all that she's worked so hard for, behind.

And then it clicks – Meredith.

She's an ass. She should have realized, should've thought he'd have these insecurities given her track record on top of his history.

She's running out the door then, leaves a tip on the table as she pulls out her phone sends him a quick text.

Coming home, see you soon… K. xx

She hails the first cab she sees, gives the driver Rick's address as she pulls the door shut behind her, sinking back into the worn seat with a sigh.

She's in front of the loft in record time, promised the cab driver an extra ten if he could get her there safely five minutes faster, and she smiles at Eduardo as he opens the door for her, greeting her with his usual smile.

She opts for the stairs, needs to be moving, to both clear her head and burn off the nerves that had blossomed in the cab on the ride back.

She knocks when she gets to his door, can feel his key burning a hole in her pocket, but it doesn't feel right, not right now.

He opens the door almost immediately and she throws her arms around his neck, apparently startling him as he stumbles back into the loft, his hands finding purchase on her waist, before wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her in close.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her hairline. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

"Hey, no, it's okay," she murmurs, pulling back enough so that her eyes can meet his. "I should have realized what sparked it, I'm sorry. But I'm not Meredith, Rick, I want you to know that I'll never do that to you."

"I know I just reacted poorly I'm sorry. And no, you shouldn't have to –" the rest of his sentence is silenced by the soft press of her lips.

"How about we both accept just one another's apologies and go to bed, okay?" she asks, already walking them towards the bedroom, her hand holding his.

"Okay." he replies, allowing her to lead him to his – their – bedroom.