AFTER THE WAR
"I stayed with the Longbottoms for three weeks," Hermione told Bill. "I attended some of the funerals—Remus and Tonks, Colin Creevey, Professor Snape and Fred, among others."
"I don't remember seeing you at Fred's funeral," Bill interrupted.
"I tried to come and speak to the family but Ron and Ginny didn't seem to want my presence. I didn't want to make the occasion even harder, so I stayed at the back," Hermione explained, not wanting to dwell on what had happened. Ron had merely turned his back on Hermione, but Ginny's glares at the sight of her had been rather ferocious. Hermione had been very taken aback and quite hurt by the palpable waves of dislike being sent her way by the girl who she had thought was a friend.
Bill raised an eyebrow at this, sure that Hermione was imagining things about his two younger siblings, but he did not want to risk offending her by vocalising his opinion. Hermione, however, saw the raised eyebrow and knew exactly what he was thinking, but as she did not want to speak badly of Ron and Ginny to their brother, she did not elaborate further.
"Madam Longbottom destroyed Bellatrix's wand almost immediately, and presented the broken pieces to the DMLE. They weren't too happy that it had already been destroyed from what I understand, but it wasn't needed for evidence since Bellatrix was dead and, quite frankly, I don't think anyone would ever have wanted to use that wand again," Hermione shuddered. "The Longbottoms lent me Alice's wand. I felt bad about accepting it, but Mrs Longbottom and Neville insisted. It was a reasonably good match, and I really wanted get rid of Bellatrix's wand, so I agreed to borrow it until Ollivanders reopened. Mrs Longbottom said I should just keep it, but I said that Neville should keep it to see if would suit any of his children."
Bill nodded in agreement. "You did the right thing," he said. "It was a great honour Mrs Longbottom was offering you, but it should definitely go to one of Neville's children if the wand is compatible with them."
"I know. I could see Neville biting his tongue when his Gran suggested I keep the wand. I couldn't in good conscience have kept it," Hermione concurred. "Madam Longbottom negotiated with the goblins for me and they accepted my terms. I don't know what, if anything, they've done with the information about Rita Skeeter but they seemed happy to receive it."
"The goblins trade in any usable currency, be it gold, muggle money or information," Bill commented, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
"Madam Longbottom also managed to get the Prophet to print my letter of apology without editing it in any way. I have a feeling they—or Rita, anyway—would have been so delighted to see me publicly humbling myself that they weren't even tempted to edit it."
Bill shrugged. He remembered the reaction of his family when they saw the published letter. They had been very surprised indeed to see it, and it had caused quite a ruckus in the Weasley home.
"Hermione," Bill asked hesitantly. "Why did you only apologise on your own behalf? Why didn't you include the boys in your apology?" This had been puzzling him ever since he had read the letter of apology in the newspaper, which had been quite clear was only for her participation in the incident.
Hermione looked steadily at the red-headed man. "Bill, I'm not their mother. I nursed Harry and Ron through school, but they're grown adults now. Wasn't it time they stepped forward and took responsibility for their own actions?"
Bill grimaced. Hermione was not wrong. The family—those who chose to comment on the letter at all—had been quite vocal about Hermione's selfishness in only apologising for herself but Bill could not disagree with her reasoning—it really was not her place to apologise for Harry and Ron.
"Besides," Hermione continued reasonably. "Would Harry and Ron really have wanted to have humbled themselves by making a public apology in the Daily Prophet?"
"No, probably not," Bill admitted reluctantly.
"Anyway, while I was staying with the Longbottoms, I went into the muggle world a few times to contact my parents—thank Merlin for email!—and let them know the war was over, the side of Light had won and I was safe and in one piece. They would have liked me to come to them immediately but they understood that I needed to stay for the funerals. They were willing to wait to see me—they were just grateful I was alive and well. Madam Longbottom also took me to their family's Healer for a complete physical, and the Healer supplemented the potions I had received from Madam Pomfrey. I tried to thank Madam Longbottom for everything she did for me—her kindness was quite extraordinary—but she refused to hear it. She said that it was the least she could do after I allowed her to destroy Bellatrix Lestrange's wand."
Hermione made a face. "I didn't actually think I deserved Mrs Longbottom's thanks—I still don't. I always felt a bit guilty about Neville, because he was on his own so much. Harry, Ron and I were friends, Dean and Seamus were best friends, and the other girls in my dorm also paired off. Neville was friendly enough with everyone but he didn't really have a best friend in Gryffindor. Madam Longbottom insisted, though, and I was in no position to argue. I needed to see a Healer after all, and I needed a wand and a safe place to stay. Mr Ollivander finally reopened, and I got a new wand from him. After three weeks, I gave the Longbottoms my heartfelt thanks and a present of some plants for their gardens and I left for the States.
"I travelled muggle," Hermione continued. "I felt it would be safer than bringing attention to myself by requesting an international portkey. I arrived safely and once I had decompressed and felt ready to rejoin the wizarding world, I contacted the American Ministry, who helped to arrange for citizenship for us, as Mum and Dad have decided to remain there permanently and I wanted to be with them. At that point, I wasn't planning to apprentice in Egypt," she said with a laugh, "but I intend to go back to the States once I gain my Mastery."
"Hermione," said Bill hesitantly. "I still don't understand why you feel your friendship with Harry and Ron was at an end?" If he was being honest with himself, he would have admitted that he understood exactly why she felt that way from what she had told him, but he was not quite ready to believe his youngest brother had been so callous as to abandon Hermione after the Final Battle, despite Ron's concern for Lavender.
Hermione bit her lip as she thought over what to say and Bill sat patiently waiting until she was ready to speak. Truth be told, Hermione was holding in a lot of hurt feelings with regard to Harry and Ron, but she did not want to express it. She wanted to put it all behind her, not wallow over things that had happened years ago. Finally, she gave a sigh, and began to speak.
"After the Final Battle, Harry and Ron made it very clear to me that their focus then was Ginny and Lavender and there was no place for me in their lives at that time. I understood the first but was a bit taken aback at the second. Once I thought about it, though, I had to admit that I never really had much in common with Harry and Ron, other than our shared adventures. Our friendship always had its ups and downs—and some of the downs were quite major. We were all equally guilty of making mistakes and getting things wrong, but the boys always seemed to make up and forgive each other far more easily than they ever did me," said Hermione, thinking sadly of how Harry had forgiven Ron for deserting him twice, first during the Triwizard Tournament and then during the Horcrux Hunt, with barely an apology on Ron's part, and yet she never seemed to get the same easy forgiveness.
In contrast, Ron had expected her to abase herself before him when he thought that her cat, Crookshanks, had eaten his rat, Scabbers. Nor had Harry ever really forgiven her for accidentally breaking his wand, depsite her all but grovelling to him. Admittedly, she understood how dangerous it had been for him to be without a wand at that time, but it had happened while she had been in the process of helping him escape before Voldemort arrived after Nagini had bitten him, thus saving Harry's life, something Harry had never acknowledged.
'Ron was never willing to apologise, despite treating me quite unpleasantly on occasion, like at the end of the Yule Ball in fourth year, but he always expected the apologies in return,' Hermione reminisced, 'and Harry wasn't much better at times. Yet I can't recall them ever extending that same courtesy to me. The boys really were rather self-centred at times.'
"Of course, it's not all about apologies and forgiveness but, in hindsight, that shows just how unequal our relationship was. Perhaps I should have expected that, given that the boys' friendship with me was based on a lie in the first place," Hermione continued.
"At the beginning, I was just so glad to have friends that I ignored the disparity in our friendship, but as time went on, it became more and more obvious that while I was useful to the boys, I wasn't truly equal to them, and it became harder for me to accept that I didn't matter as much to them as they did to me, or even to each other," Hermione continued, thinking acerbically, 'Hell, I didn't even matter to Harry, Ron or Ginny as much as Quidditch did!'
"Harry and Ron always chose each other over me," Hermione explained sadly. "At the end of the war, I was at the end of my tether. I really felt at the time that I'd been doing nothing but giving, while they'd done nothing but take. When I look back now with a clearer head, I can see it wasn't quite that bad and they did do their best to be supportive of me, but unfortunately, their best was mostly rather half-hearted. In truth, the real friendship was between Harry and Ron, and I was just the tagalong. I did actually write to the boys from Longbottom Manor to let them know where I was and that I was safe, and I continued writing twice a month, but I never received a reply, so eventually I stopped writing to them altogether—round about the time I realised that they had married without inviting me to their weddings. In contrast, George, even in the depth of his grief over Fred, has replied to every letter I sent to him, as have Neville and Luna.
"I'm not upset or holding a grudge against Harry and Ron," Hermione assured Bill. "I think that we simply had one of those friendships that lasts while you're at school—or running around trying to save the world from psychotic madmen—and then dies a natural death afterwards. It's not like I actually had much in common with Harry or Ron, after all, and Ginny and Lavender wouldn't have appreciated my hanging around like a bad smell."
Bill sat back and regarded the witch sitting opposite him. It was certainly true that Hermione had no interests in common with Harry and Ron. Since first meeting Hermione, Bill had often wondered what was the point of commonality that brought the three friends together, and had concluded it was their shared adventures. Although Harry had been the main focus of the recent war, as a Muggleborn witch it had been as much Hermione's war to fight as Harry's. Ron's too, for that matter, since the Weasleys were regarded as the biggest blood traitor family by the Death Eaters. It would not have been possible for any of the trio of friends to have opted out of the war, and so Bill had presumed they had bonded together early on in order to support each other against prejudice and the forces that had undoubtedly been lining up against them from the day they had first entered Hogwarts. If, as Hermione seemed to be saying, it was indeed the case that their adventures and the war had been the glue to hold the friendship together, then it was understandable that with the end of the war the friendship might indeed have come to a natural end. And the oldest Weasley knew only too well how jealous Ginny and Lavender were of Hermione's friendship with the boys; the two girls seemed to have teamed up to distract the boys' attention if ever Hermione was mentioned in their presence, and both Harry and Ron appeared quite happy to allow themselves to be distracted.
With a nod, Bill accepted Hermione's assessment of her friendship with Ron and Harry, and changed the subject. "Have you made any new friends since you left Britain?"
Hermione smiled and nodded. "I've become friendly with some of my colleagues and they also introduced me to some of the Gringotts curse breakers here in Egypt, so I'm doing okay socially. I'm not sitting in every night, mourning my lost friendships. I've moved on and I really am happy. So are Mum and Dad, for that matter."
Bill smiled back at the younger witch, enjoying how animated she seemed. The last time he had seen her had been at the Final Battle and Hermione had been physically and emotionally exhausted then. It was good to see her looking so much happier and healthier now. Hermione seemed to be flourishing since having left Britain—something Bill could empathise with, since he also found Britain quite stifling.
The two carried on talking, but eventually they had to leave and let Basim close up for the night. Bill escorted Hermione home and, before leaving her at her front door, asked, "May I see you again?"
"I'd like that, Bill. Very much," Hermione smiled shyly. Of all the Weasleys, Bill was the one with whom she had the most interests in common, despite her shared history with the younger members of the family, and she had long harboured a secret crush on him. Although all the older brothers were highly intelligent, Charlie and the twins had very specific areas of interest and Percy saw knowledge only as a means to an end. Bill, however, shared a love of books and learning with the bushy-haired witch, and had as varied an interest as did Hermione. Like her, the oldest Weasley son loved to read and learn simply for the sake of it. Hermione had shared many an interesting conversation with Bill when she was recovering in his home after having been tortured during the war, and she was looking forward to furthering her friendship with this man who, as Hermione admitted to herself as she lay in bed that night, was as attractive to her physically as he was intellectually.
Bill, on the other hand, was lying in his bed with a soppy grin on his face. During the time Hermione had spent in Shell Cottage, Bill had come to suspect that he had formed a mating bond with the young witch, but had said nothing at the time because he was married and Hermione had seemed to have feelings for his youngest brother, Ron. Fleur had confirmed his suspicion when she apologetically informed Bill that she had formed a mating bond with her mate—now husband—Boniface.
"But you understand zees, hein? You 'ave formed zee mating bond wiz 'Ermione, n'est-ce pas?" Fleur had said with a smile.
Of course, by this time it was too late, as Hermione had long since left Britain and Bill did not know where she was. While the red-haired wizard knew he could have sent the young witch an owl, he had received the impression from Harry and Ron—or more from Ginny, now that he thought about it—that Hermione had irrevocably cut all ties with Britain. With that impression in his mind, Bill had not known how to proceed with regard to making contact with her. Bill was nine years older than his mate and had only spoken to her a handful of times prior to her sojourn in Shell Cottage. He had therefore unhappily concluded that if Hermione truly had cut all ties with Britain, then she was unlikely to welcome a letter from someone she barely knew.
'At least now I have a chance with Hermione, but blurting out that she's my mate isn't the best way to go about this, so I just need to be careful not to rush her,' Bill decided happily as he fell asleep.