XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Shay toys around with Cosima's bangle conflicted and sad.
The Neolution contact she had to reunite with regularly, questioned her about the reason for Delphine's second visit and she told the man what happened. He said she was getting too close, that she was a threat.
"She must be eliminated" he stated "and you are going to do it" he took out a gun handing it to her "It has to be fast; we will be watching. I'll inform you of her whereabouts when the time arrives. Do not fail".
Things were not supposed to happen like this; she was not supposed to murder anyone, she wasn't supposed to feel this way about Cosima. Nothing made sense.
'No, I can't do it. I won't kill Delphine. That bitch is a crazy psycho yes, but fuck, Cosima loves her.' Shay debates in her mind 'she would find out it was me, I know she would. Neolution be damned, I'll just say I got scared; that they should send someone else. This may lose any chance of them trusting me; Marion will have to forgive me but I won't do it' she sighs 'I can't do this to Cosima; I can't hurt her this way… I can't lose a chance to be with her… a chance of her being mine' Shay seems to come to a decision 'that's it I'm not killing Delphine. I can't risk Cosima hating me… I won't lose her. '
Right at that moment someone knocks at her door, alarming a distracted Shay.
Winnipeg, Canada 1996
A happy ten year old Shay massages her father who is lying on his stomach on the grass in the park.
"That feels so good baby" the man moans encouragingly.
Shay giggles as she continues.
After a while a teenage girl, Shay's sister, appears by their side "dad it's almost six, we have to go"
"Nooo" Shay protests "I don't wanna go yet, ten minutes more"
Mr. Davydov moves to a seated position to face his youngest daughter "we better get going sweetheart; we don't want to make your mom mad do we? You know how she gets when I don't bring you girls home on time."
She pouts standing up, holding her father's hand.
Once they arrived home the man hugged his daughters goodbye but Shay remained for a little longer.
"Daddy?" She asks softly.
"Yes baby?"
"One day I'll be a great soldier and I'll help people, just like you do" she announces determined.
Mr. Davydov smiles sadly as he looks at his daughter with adoration "you can be whatever you want my zvyozdochka".
…
9 years later
Shay, in full military uniform, sits with her father on a bench in the park as they eat sandwiches.
"I'm so proud of you Shay" Mr. Davydov states out of the blue.
She smiles swallowing the last of her sandwich.
"I've always known there was something special in you. You are so brave and have a big kind heart darling; and I think now you are ready to know all the truth"
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Shay stares at him intrigued.
"I'm talking about my job and what I really do there"
"What you really do?"
The man exhales "what you're about to hear, will not be easy. I know I'm putting you in great danger by telling you this but I really need you to continue my mission… because soon I won't be able to"
Shay's eyes open wide "Dad, you're scaring me"
Mr. Davydov takes her hands, and proceeds to enlighten his daughter about his big secret.
…
Toronto 2014
Shay is getting ready to leave when someone enters the massage room.
"Oh, I'm sorry" Shay addresses the woman who just came in "I won't be able to attend to you I just finished my shift; but take a seat and in about five minutes one of my partners will…"
"You give but little when you give of your possessions." The woman says with her eyes fixed on Shay.
Words flow automatically from Shay's lips before she can even think about it "It is when you give of yourself that you truly give" Sudden recognition settles in and she voices a name "Marion Bowles".
"Shay Davydov" Marion replies with a smirk "I'll be waiting at the coffee shop across the street, don't take long" and just as fast as she arrived, she leaves.
Ten minutes later, Shay sits across from her at the table in the small coffee shop.
"I was starting to think you would never appear" Shay comments still stunned.
"Well…" Marion puts her coffee cup on the table before responding "I promised your father not to bother you unless it was absolutely necessary".
"Yeah…" Shay changes the subject quickly "what are my orders?"
Understanding that the topic of her father is still a delicate matter for Shay, Marion goes for the task at hand "Neolution is in search of a good suitor who can get close to one of the clones; they will casually find your name among the possible candidates and they will choose you".
"And how do you know they'll choose me? Shay eyes her with skepticism.
Marion has to chuckle at the sense of deja-vu; either way she explains "Because you fit the profile. You have military training, your father worked with them; you're charismatic, empathic, beautiful… gay".
Shay scoffs "and what does me being gay have to do with this?"
"You see Shay…" Marion clasps her hands and rests them on the table "I'm guessing they are aiming for the one person who has access to all the scientific parts of the process, and she happens to be a lesbian".
"Oh"
"They will soon send someone to contact you externally, that person will be the bridge between you and Neolution; you won't really have access to anything related to them. Now, your job will be to gain their trust and get inside; you have to find a way to get involved with them, to be able to see things first hand, like your father did".
"Right" Shay cuts her off, again avoiding the topic of her father.
"And for that to happen you have to do exactly what they tell you to do. No matter how crazy it sounds, how risky it is or how nonsensical you think it may be; you just do it no questions asked. I have people in Neolution already, not as deep as I would've wanted to; they have never been commissioned to any of the clones. But you will, which means if you do your job well, the heads will want to have a more personal approach with you and when that happens, I want you to take note of every location you visit; of every face you see, of every name you hear. Everything your eyes would be privy to, you must memorize; I want you to get all the information you can while you are with them".
"Wow that's…" Shay swallows, biting any comment on how complicated and life threatening the mission sounds "OK then, once I get all you need how do I contact you?"
"You won't"
"What?"
Marion leans closer to Shay "to ensure the complete success of your infiltration we must not maintain any sort of contact. From the moment they reach you, you'll be on your own; that's how they have to see it and the only way it's gonna work. When the time is right I'll come for you. My people will let me know".
"OK…" Shay lets her body hit the back of the chair, wondering how in the world she would achieve all of that.
Shay closes the door of her apartment and leans against it in a panic.
'Shit' she breaths out, cursing in her mind. 'Almost on a silver plate'.
She then takes a look at the card in her hands.
'324b21?'
Just like everything else related to Cosima, she has no idea what it could mean.
'Fuck' she moves to the center of her apartment 'fuck, fuck, fuck' Shay lets out her frustrations. 'Delphine knows she's a target, she knows it, I saw it in her eyes; this was goodbye she knows she will be killed and she doesn't care!' she grabs her head with both hands 'she was willing to kill for Cosima… she's willing to die for her. Why the hell did she have to come here? Why she has to be the fucking martyr, fucking Delphine!
Shay's phone buzzes. She sighs trying to sound calm and picks it up.
"Yeah?"
"What did she want?" the Neolution contact asks.
"She uh, she kinda gave me her blessing. She told me to ask Cosima to tell me the truth".
The man gasps in delight "excellent! This is going better than I thought. She must be terminated tonight' he takes a brief pause 'I'm sending you an address, I want you to be there waiting for her arrival. You have to intercept her before she gets inside, just do it at the parking lot. Shoot her once and leave; remember we will be watching you'.
When she's certain the call has ended; Shay walks to her bed, opens a secret compartment and retrieves the gun the man gave her the previous night.
'If Delphine would do anything to save Cosima, I sure as hell can do the same.' Shay leaves the card on the night stand 'for her, for Cosima'.
…
She had been determined, she really had. But the moment Delphine turned around and uttered those words, all of her resolve crumbled.
"What will happen to her?"
'Even in her last moments her mind goes to Cosima, always Cosima'
Shay managed to put on a blank expression and seemed focused but when she pulled the trigger her hand faltered at the last second, causing the shot to enter Delphine's side instead of her heart where she had initially aimed.
'An embarrassment to the army' she thought.
And just as she was told, Shay left immediately after, not giving a second glance to a certainly agonizing Delphine.
It wasn't until she was four blocks away, where she parked her car, that everything sank in.
'I killed someone. Not just anyone but the love of Cosima's life' Shay feels her body weaken; she supports herself on a nearby fence.
'What will happen to her?'
The question - so selfless; so desperate- still echoes in her head.
And it comes to her, that she doesn't really know how to answer it.
Shay bends down and empties the contents of her stomach. Her eyes are unfocused, she feels like she's going to faint so she rushes fast to her car.
She means to start the engine and get out of there as soon as she can but she's trembling, her hands can't maintain a firm grip on the keys. She gives up and throws the keys on the passenger's seat; leaning her head on the stirring wheel.
'Oh my God, Oh My God' her chest finally lets it out and she begins sobbing. 'I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer'.
And before long she comes to the realization that along with Delphine, she killed any possibility of a future with Cosima.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Oh and…" Shay remembers one more thing "the clone that was in the wheelchair, Rachel; was always with a little girl by her side".
At this Marion's cool exterior fades "did… did you talk to her, did she say something to you?"
"Yeah once; she came close to me and whispered in my ear something really strange".
"wha… what was it" Marion holds tightly onto the pendant around her neck.
"She said: the black ship is nearing the fold".
Marion gasps covering her mouth unable to conceal the smile on her face, tears pricking her eyes.
Shay looks at her confused "what's wrong, do you know her?"
"Yes, yes I do" Marion doesn't bother to hide her emotion "she's my little girl; my Charlotte" She smirks proudly "and she's making sure her sister joins us in the battle".
Behind the glass, Delphine smiles; confident they will succeed.
"The bitch" Sarah mutters finally putting the pieces together.
Cosima for her part remains quiet, deep in thought.
"Is there anything else?" a more collected Marion asks Shay.
Shay seems to consider the question "no, not that I can remember".
"OK then" Marion makes a move to stand up but Shay grabs her wrist.
"Marion wait!"
The tall brunette stares at her expectantly.
"I… I just wanted to make perfectly clear that…" Shay swallows "that what I did was because they ordered me to. And you said I had to do whatever they asked, that was the only way they could trust me and that I could get all the information" her big blue eyes gaze into Marion's face, her voice breaking "I didn't want to do it Marion; I swear I really didn't want to do it… and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry…" the last phrase is barely completed as Shay begins crying.
"I know, I know" Marion moves over to hug Shay.
There was no need for a clarification; everyone knew exactly what she was referring to.
Cosima, who at the words of her former lover looked up, now has her arms behind her head. She turns around not wanting to witness Shay's vulnerability, not wanting to feel sorry for her.
Sarah observes her, not sure what to do.
Beside the door an unimpressed Delphine, in complete Elise mood, remains silent.
Marion waits until Shay has calmed down before detaching from the embrace "you completed your mission with excellence Shay, you got what we needed and I'm thankful for that" She grabs Shay's hands "you have no idea how many lives you saved; your father would've been so proud of you"
Shay nods with her head down, a sad expression on her face.
"You know if he could, he would still be working with me; he is a true hero" Marion assures.
"Yeah I know" Shay's lips tremble.
"In a way, it's a blessing he's not able to remember anything Shay; he doesn't have to go through that torture anymore."
A single tear slips down Shay's cheek "sometimes that's my only consolation".
"Fuck" Cosima closes her eyes "what's wrong with her father?" She asks Delphine without looking at her.
"He was diagnosed with Early-onset Alzheimer's disease ten years ago" the answer is fast and flat.
Some things start to make sense for Cosima now.
That's why she was so sad when I told her I was sick; she was thinking about her father.
But again she refuses to have any sort of feelings toward the woman she considers a traitor of the worst kind.
"I can't be here anymore, I'm sorry" she moves past Delphine opening the door and exiting the small room.
Sarah follows immediately after.
…
It's almost dawn; Sarah, Cosima and Delphine are in the office discussing the last details of the operation and Marion is giving instructions to what the sisters have to do once they go back.
Cosima is a few steps away in a chair listening but not participating actively in the discussion.
"…and remember, the phone I gave you yesterday, it's the only line we can use to communicate" Marion warns "let's try to keep it at a minimum; at least until my team arrives once we have everything settled. I'll make sure to bring you back when necessary; now go and inform the rest, you all have to be prepared".
When the three women stand up Cosima panics a little bit, knowing her time with Delphine will be cut short.
"Uh E…Elise" She addresses the blonde hesitantly.
"Yes Miss Niehaus?"
Cosima's brows rise with admiration. She has to give it to Delphine; she's doing an excellent job at being someone else.
"Uh just… just Cosima" she waves her hands dismissively with a nervous chuckle.
Marion observes the exchange with amusement.
Sarah just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.
After sending Sarah a death glare, Cosima continues "I was wondering if I could take some of the files you showed me, you know to keep them informed".
"I don't see why not, I'll bring them to you".
"Hey um, can I come with you?" Cosima tilts her head to the side.
"Sure. After you" Delphine lets Cosima pass by her as they leave the room.
Sarah opens her mouth and attempts to follow them, when Marion calls her.
"Sarah" she approaches her carefully "Elise is harmless; she would never do anything to hurt Cosima or any of you".
"It's not Elise I'm worried about".
…
Delphine didn't break character until she closed the door of her office. Only then she sighs loudly waiting for Cosima to speak.
"I'm sorry but we are leaving and I… I really needed five more minutes with you" Cosima explains, her hands moving.
"It's OK" Delphine smiles sympathetically.
Cosima stares at her trying to hold back her sentiments "I don't wanna go" the next thing she knows she's enveloped in familiar arms.
"You have to my love" Delphine kisses Cosima's temple. "You have to help Sarah with the preparations. Also I'll be very busy here, updating the other base members that will arrive soon; it's gonna be crazy". She leans back to face Cosima "I promise I'll bring you back here as soon as I can so we can continue with our conversation and maybe make some progress on the cure".
This encourages Cosima. She exhales with resignation "alright" She holds the body in front of her really tight "I'm gonna miss you".
"I'll miss you too".
And with a final kiss goodbye, they break the embrace and carry on with their tasks.
…
The cars and soldiers were ready to transport Sarah and Cosima to the private plane that would return them to Toronto.
Delphine had just helped Cosima into the vehicle when Sarah abruptly takes her by the arm; forcing her into a face to face confrontation.
Sarah stares straight into Delphine's eyes, applying pressure to her grip.
Cosima and Marion watch them intently but none of them intervene.
"Is there something you need Miss Manning?" Delphine finally asks with an even tone of voice "Are you OK?"
For a couple more seconds Sarah holds her gaze until she shakes her head and lets go of the blonde's arm.
"I'm sorry I just…" Sarah looks to the side, clearing her throat "Sorry" She rapidly gets inside the car next to Cosima.
"We'll be in contact" Marion comments before giving the order for the cars to proceed.
…
Shay, already in her room, splashes water on her face. For the first time that day, she looks at her reflection in the mirror, at the state of her face. No makeup, traces of dry tears on her cheeks, swollen eyelids; no sleep.
"Fuck" She takes a towel and turns around, not liking what she saw.
Once she dried herself; Shay leaves the bathroom and walks to the bed where she lays down unceremoniously. She stares at the ceiling, caressing her wounded arm while recalling the long and complicated day she just had.
It's over; it's over.
With her father and Cosima on her mind, and with a mixture of pain and relief, Shay cries out loud.
…
Sarah and Cosima, sat next to each other. They haven't exchanged one word since they left the base. Now, five minutes into the flight they have the liberty to process what happened in the past hours.
When everything starts to dawn on her, Sarah turns to her side to share her concerns with her sister, only to find her shivering.
"Cos!" Sarah grabs Cosima's face with both hands to inspect her closely "shite" she grows alarmed as she notices the chattering of her teeth and how her eyes don't seem to focus on anything.
"Cosima, hey talk to me" Sarah caresses Cosima's cheeks sweetly trying to gain her attention "talk to me".
It takes a few more tries before Cosima actually acknowledges her. Her eyes grow big as she opens her mouth.
"De… Delphine" she lets out in a whisper "Elise… they…" she can't say anything else; her throat closes with emotion.
"Oh love" Sarah holds onto her sister for dear life; sensing their connection.
Both allow their feelings to flow freely for the time being.