Cosima and Jennifer have a little chat (catfight!)
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The previous night
After she escorted Cosima to her room, Delphine entered her own and leaned against the door releasing the breath she wasn't aware she was holding in.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Delphine chastises herself "you can't do that, it's not the right time; you can't lose control now!" She runs a hand through her hair 'you need to talk to her first, come clean. You have to sort out this situation before you can start entertaining the thought of retaking your relationship, not a minute before!'
With that decided Delphine needed some distraction; she sat down at her desk, opened the laptop and began working on new information she received that day.
An hour later her phone buzzes.
"Go ahead" Delphine listens to her interlocutor. Hearing the message she stands up abruptly "uh… yeah, yeah; let her in." She ends the call and begins nervously pacing in her room.
'Fuck! Why now, this is fucking unbelievable!'
Delphine breaths in and out slowly to help calm down her sudden anxiety while trying to come up with solutions to her new predicament. When ideas start to pop up, she leaves her room. She briefly pauses in front of Cosima's door swallowing then keeps walking toward the entrance of the facility.
Upon reaching the main door she opens it quickly, her visitor already expecting her.
"What are you doing here?" It's the first thing that comes out of her mouth.
"Nice to see you too Elise" Jennifer replies amused and slightly offended, pushing pass Delphine.
"I thought you were coming next week" Delphine inquires, still not closing the door.
"Yeah, something came up" Jennifer shrugs, rearranges her duffel bag and turns to walk further into the building.
"Wait!" Delphine grabs her by the arm. "You can't stay here."
"What? Why?"
"You can sleep in the dorms for tonight; tomorrow we'll find you better accommodations. C'mon let's go." Delphine pulls her along.
The way Delphine avoided her questions, made Jennifer suspicious. She silently watches the expressions on the blonde's face, studying them carefully until realization hits her "oh wait… she's here isn't she?"
Delphine releases Jennifer's arm, doing her best to hide the shock at being caught "yes, she's here."
"Wow, what perfect timing," Jennifer chuckles at the irony of the situation. Putting aside her frustration she goes on, "Well whatever. As I said something came up and it's very important we discuss it with Marion; besides…" she pauses gulping "there's something I need to tell you."
Delphine still thinks it's a bad idea, but watching Jennifer with such vulnerability in her eyes makes her cave in "alright, let's go."
Already inside the bedroom Delphine stands in front of Jennifer waiting for her to speak.
"OK," Jennifer clears her throat, her nervousness evident now "things are getting complicated with our team in Europe, they need someone there who is immersed in the whole thing and… well I was thinking about going myself."
"Whoa, hold on a second" Delphine intervenes "we have discussed this before Jennifer, you stay at your base as a team leader and that's it, there's no need for you to go to the battlefield."
"You don't get it, Neolution's troops have multiplied, we are constantly losing people and bringing in new ones; they need someone to guide them in the right direction, someone who has been in direct contact with the mission and that's me."
"No, no way! It's too dangerous you could…" Delphine stops just before uttering the word she fears the most.
Jennifer sighs "I know that's why I…" She steps closer to the blonde "I wanted to come here and tell you that…" she swallows locking her eyes with Delphine's "I love you Elise."
The words hit Delphine like a bucket of cold water; her mouth gapes open in amazement.
Jennifer laughs blushing "wow, I bet that's the face a straight guy has when his girlfriend tells him she's pregnant." She tries to minimize the importance of her confession.
Delphine completely ignores the last remark, finally mumbling "why didn't you tell me before?"
At this Jennifer's seriousness comes back and replies with conviction "because you don't like to talk about feelings."
Hearing this causes the blonde much sadness, understanding that just like her, Elise had to push away any emotional involvement for the sake of the mission.
"Well and also…" Jennifer continues interrupting Delphine's contemplations "I know where your heart and mind are aiming" she's unable to hide the disappointment in her own voice.
"Jennifer…" Delphine can't stand the look in the brunette's eyes.
"Shhh" Jennifer puts a finger on her lips "there's no need for you to say anything El; I'm a big girl I knew what I was getting into." She then looks down while considering her next words "I suppose I always had feelings for you, I just wasn't aware of it. It wasn't until your damn concussion that I…" Jennifer stares into Delphine's eyes again "that I realized I was completely in love with you."
A horrible feeling of guilt settles in Delphine's gut at the admission. She realizes now that Jennifer hadn't fallen in love with Elise but with her.
'Oh shit.'
Delphine never meant for it to happen, Elise was just a part she played to keep the operation alive and apparently she did it too well… or maybe too bad. But here she stood in front of a beautiful brave woman who had provided her not only with pleasure but also with companionship and love. Jennifer has everything any person would look for in a partner but in this case unfortunately she's unable to reciprocate the sentiment, because her heart already belongs to someone else.
'But not right here, not now. Right now I'm Elise Cote and this gorgeous woman has just declared her love for me; and I'll be damn if I don't do something about it.
With that thought in mind, and forgetting all about Cosima and the mission for the time being, she leans forward grabbing the brunette by the back of her neck and bringing her in for a hungry kiss.
Jennifer moans, taken aback and delighted but then she halts the kiss after a few seconds "Elise wait…" she backs away "you don't have to do this."
"I know but I want to" Delphine moves in closer to connect their lips again but Jennifer puts a hand on her chest.
"Please stop, I don't want you to feel obligated to…"
"Shut up already!" Delphine exclaims startling her lover. She now takes Jennifer by her chin with force "would you just shut the fuck up and let me fuck you?"
Jennifer's eyes widen with surprise at the boldness of the blonde.
"It is an order" Delphine practically growls never taking her eyes from the brunette's.
A lustful and playful smirk adorns Jennifer's features at the sexy command "sir yes sir."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Cosima watches stunned at the woman with the disheveled hair.
Jennifer, still in a sleepy haze, scratches her head acknowledging the intruder "who are…" but after a quick face scan she's able to recognize the person "Oh shit! You are…" Now completely alert she looks at Cosima up and down; her eyes widening, her jaw slacking a bit.
Observing her reaction and considering where it is coming from, causes Cosima to regain her composure and reply in her usual cheeky manner "yup I'm the clone… boo!"
Her words don't have the desired effect though because Jennifer continues to stare at her dumbfounded.
"But… but you look so…"
"Human?" Cosima offers with sarcasm.
"Yeah…"
'You can totally ask her how human I can be' Cosima is so tempted to add but refrains; instead she just stands there irritated and uncomfortable waiting for the other woman to come out of her stupor. Lucky for her it happens soon enough.
"Oh wow sorry um…" Jennifer shakes her head "you're looking for Elise" She states the obvious.
"Mmm hmm" Cosima nods, biting off any cynical remark.
"Well she's kinda uh…" Jennifer turns her head back "zonked out."
She's not sure if it's curiosity or just plain masochism but Cosima sneaks a peek inside the bedroom. She regrets it immediately as nothing is going to remove from her mind the vision of Delphine in bed lying naked on her stomach with her back exposed amongst the tangled sheets.
"I see" Cosima manages through clenched teeth. It takes every ounce of her will power not to scream or start hitting something.
"But as soon as she wakes up, I'll let her know you were looking for her" Jennifer speaks more composed.
The smile Cosima forces on her lips is undeniably fake but right now she doesn't care anymore "yeah you do that, she knows where to find me" with that Cosima departs quickly from the awkward scene.
….
Forty minutes later Delphine enters the lab like it was any other day. "I'm sorry about my tardiness" she says while putting on her lab coat "I had a situation to deal with."
Cosima doesn't know whether to laugh or cry 'I can only guess what kind of situation that was' the words only spoken in her mind.
Delphine passes behind Cosima to reach her usual spot. "I'm afraid I will be having a very busy day today, Marion may need my assistance at any moment." She takes a seat, "hope that's not an inconvenience for you."
Cosima exhales with anger "Oh so this is Elise not Delphine, great."
She seriously considers standing up and giving Delphine a big round of applause for doing a great job at pretending to be Elise. She would have totally bought it. She would have believed Delphine didn't care one bit about her feelings or what was going through her mind… if it weren't for the strong smell of soap and lotion - probably applied in a rush -coming from the blonde's body.
'To cover up what? the smell of sex? Pathetic!' She thought Delphine was smarter than that.
A couple hours passed with them exchanging the necessary words that pertained to the job. To Cosima's frustration Delphine continued with her unalterable 'Elise persona'. She tried so hard to remain as unaffected as the blonde but in the end she couldn't help but voice her annoyance.
"So, you have a girlfriend now huh?"
Delphine continues typing some data as she responds "no, not really."
"Oh a fuck buddy then, awesome!"
"In any case, she's Elise's fuck buddy."
"I see;" Cosima replies while turning a page in her folder with force "being Elise comes with a great package deal, sex included!"
The long sigh Delphine lets out makes Cosima optimistic; it means she's in some way affecting her.
"I don't know what to tell you Cosima, she was with Elise long before I took her place." It wasn't exactly an explanation, but Delphine felt some information was in order.
The answer she receives doesn't fully satisfy her so Cosima presses on. "How long?"
The blonde stops her work to consider the question. "They've been seeing each other for about two years I guess."
"No, I mean how long have you been…"
"Fucking her" is what she really meant to say but she swallows the words.
"…seeing her?"
"Oh" Delphine clears her throat "Around nine or ten months."
By this point Cosima had enough "wow" she stands up, closes her eyes and puts both hands on the lab table "when were you planning on telling me about her?
"That's what I was going to talk to you about this morning but… something came up."
Cosima huffs "and what exactly were you going to tell me huh? Sorry Cosima I have a woman living with me now so you must forgive me if things go slow between us!"
Delphine exhales "she doesn't live here; she belongs to another base, she comes here to keep us updated. I thought I had time for us to talk about my situation but there was an emergency."
"Oh an emergency" Cosima chuckles bitterly.
Dropping her attitude a little bit Delphine explains "look Cosima I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I swear I was going to tell you about everything. I really wanted to have this situation out in the open so there wouldn't be any secrets between us but she arrived sooner than expected and there was nothing I could do."
"No I think you did plenty" Cosima puts her hands on her head.
The blonde shakes her head holding back the urge to roll her eyes.
Neither of them say a word for several minutes.
Feeling helpless Cosima finally lets out "what am I supposed to do now? Put up with you and her screwing around while you hide behind Elise?"
"What! I'm not…" Delphine stops midsentence exasperated, expressing now what has been on her mind for a while. "This is exactly what I wanted to avoid; I can't do this Cosima I can't lose control. I have to remain focused for the operation. I have to be able to think to make things work. And having you here is just…" She breathes out "maybe it wasn't such a good idea to…"
Cosima's temper drops immediately "hey, hey …" She moves toward Delphine "don't say that please don't say that" she reaches Delphine's face with her hand.
Delphine can only close her eyes at the touch. She had missed it so much, she's starting to get emotional and it is confusing her. "Cosima…"
"Shhh, I'm sorry" Cosima brings their temples together "I promise I'll try to cope with this OK? It's gonna be shitty but I'll try just… don't think that way." She gives Delphine an eskimo kiss "I've been away from you for far too long, I don't care what you do or who you're doing it with just ... don't you dare let me go again, please don't ever leave me."
She can feel the love. She can feel the burning fire warming her chest and making her feel more alive than ever. There's nothing Delphine wants more than to kiss Cosima and let herself go. But something is stopping her, a voice deep in her mind warning her this is not the right time, that she has to wait. "I…"
And just at that moment the door buzzer disturbs them.
They break apart in surprise.
Delphine gives a shy glance to Cosima that works as an apology and moves over to check the security monitor.
'You've got to be fucking kidding me!'
By now Delphine is sure that life is definitely playing a sick joke on her because the intruder happens to be none other than Jennifer.
She doesn't even bother to look at Cosima 'the hell with it' and proceeds to open the door slightly "Yeah?" Delphine asks the other brunette with a somber stand.
"Sorry to interrupt but Marion needs to see you in the office" Jennifer answers with a similar attitude.
"Uh" Delphine is about to leave the lab when she remembers something "I have to finish my report. I'll join you in five minutes." She attempts to close the door but Jennifer stops her.
"In that case I'll wait for you" without farther ado she enters the lab.
There is no way to describe what Cosima or Jennifer felt the moment they locked eyes.
Delphine observes the interaction with apprehension deciding to finish her report as quickly as possible. She settles back in her chair while Jennifer starts speaking.
"Hello, I want to apologize for my behavior this morning" she takes a few steps toward Cosima never breaking eye contact "you must understand it's not every day that you get to see… you know."
"A walking experiment?" Cosima counteracts holding her gaze intensely.
Jennifer chuckles "well yeah I suppose."
"If only you knew" it's the thought that crosses Delphine and Cosima's mind.
"But I would like to introduce myself properly this time" Jennifer stops and turns to look at Delphine "Am I allowed to that ma'am?" she asks with a mix of sarcasm and seriousness.
Delphine shrugs still focusing on her work "that's not up to me."
With assurance Jennifer goes on "I'm Jennifer Adams" she extends her hand.
"Cosima Niehaus." Cosima takes the hand offered and holds it tightly.
"Oh a firm grip" Jennifer remarks reciprocating the strength and then letting go, "I like a woman with a strong hand" she smirks.
"Yeah ditto."
Both take a look at Delphine discreetly, while the blonde speeds up her typing.
"So, what do you guys do when you're not on duty?" Cosima gives Jennifer a once over "Jump the catwalk and model military gear?"
Jennifer bursts out laughing.
For her part Delphine didn't find anything funny in what Cosima said. Her only concern is to get Jennifer out the room and fast.
"And she's funny too! Wow!" Jennifer says when she has recovered from her mirth "Smart and funny, you're definitely a keeper."
Again both brunettes immerse in some sort of eye battle.
"OK!" The blonde exclaims unable to stand the tension anymore "I'm done. Jennifer?" Delphine approaches the door expecting the brunette to follow her.
"I just remembered I have to pick up something I need to show Marion. Go ahead I'll be there in a minute."
The words from Jennifer didn't register in her brain at first. Delphine had to take a few seconds to actually get the meaning of her phrase and that's when she freaks. She throws a glance toward Cosima with worry, but she's only met with a challenging posture.
"You can go I have this under control" Cosima seems to be telling her with her eyes.
Still full of concern but not wanting to disregard Cosima's decision Delphine leaves the room.
As the sound of her footsteps fade, Jennifer directs her attention back to Cosima.
"You work fast I see" she puts her hands behind her back "Is that a clone thing?"
Cosima drops everything she's doing to face the other brunette completely "no, not really that is all me, a Cosima thing" she replies lifting her chin.
Jennifer grins "OK then Cosima, you seem like a very reasonable woman so let me tell you something" she walks around Cosima "I'm a soldier and I've trained for over a decade to know how to engage in battle, how to confront the enemy. I know when I can win and also when it's time to retreat as I know I will lose." Jennifer stops "and this is a battle I lost a long time ago."
The frown showing on Cosima's face makes Jennifer shake her head.
"Let's not play stupid here. We both know what is going on between you and Elise; I didn't think it would be that fast but that's the way it is." Jennifer shrugs, "Elise is a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it; and unfortunately for me what she wants is you."
By now Cosima is completely confused. 'Has Delphine been talking to her about me? What does she mean a long time ago?' She makes a mental note to ask Delphine about this later. "Where are you going with this?" Cosima goes straight to the point without giving anything away.
With a deep sigh Jennifer responds "the thing is I'm leaving in three days to fight Neolution in their very own headquarters and well you can imagine how it might turn out."
She may not like the girl but the insinuation of her possibly dying doesn't sound very appealing to Cosima. She quietly waits for Jennifer to continue.
"You see, I'm not one to ask for favors but under these circumstances I feel compelled to do so." Jennifer lowers her head for a second and lifts it back up again searching Cosima's eyes. "I need you to step back while I'm here. I need you to stay away from Elise on the days I have left in this facility"
Cosima's eyes open wide as she wasn't expecting this request.
"I think it's not too much to ask considering I'm risking my life for you and your clones."
"Sisters" Cosima corrects her immediately.
"Oh OK." Jennifer is surprised by the naming but still carries on "So I'm basically going into the lion's den to make you and your sister's free and all I ask in return is for you to give me three days to spend with who is at this very moment still my woman."
Cosima gulps angrily. She has to stop herself from lashing out and instead she replies "I'm not asking you to do any of that for me; isn't that kinda your duty as a soldier and shit? Why would I do what you're asking me?"
"Like I said already I have accepted my fate, she's gonna be with you and that has been made very clear. Three days is nothing compared to all the time you will have with her. After that time I promise I will be out of your life or if you're lucky, out of the picture entirely." Jennifer chuckles with cynicism. "Three days alone with her and that's it. Can you do that?"
Cosima wishes she could say no, wishes she could send this woman straight to hell but her conscious won't let her. Despite of her soldierly stance and her firmness, there is vulnerability in the way Jennifer is speaking. It must have cost her a lot to have the courage to request something like this. She imagines there must be a reason 'she is in love with Delphine' she concludes. At the expectant look she is receiving from Jennifer, Cosima clears her throat as she has already made up her mind.
"Fine" she concedes making evident she dislikes the idea "now leave, I have lots of things to do" with that said, Cosima returns to her previous activities. She pretends not to hear the breath Jennifer lets out at her response.
"Um yeah, yeah" Jennifer moves back to the door with relief. She is about to cross the threshold when she stops briefly "Thank you" she utters softly before exiting the room.
After hearing the door closing behind her, Cosima throws the papers she was holding. She is breathing fast and is full of rage; she puts her hands on the table to support her body. Suddenly she starts hitting the surface repeatedly until her hands hurt. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
…
Late in the afternoon Delphine reenters the lab.
Cosima tenses but doesn't turn to acknowledge her.
"Hey! Um that took me longer than I expected; but we still have a couple hours before dinner to…"
"No we don't" Cosima interrupts while she starts gathering her stuff.
"Huh?"
"While your girlfriend is here I want you to stay away from me. That includes not seeing you here in the lab either. Don't worry I'm a very capable scientist I can manage on my own for a few days"
"Cosima what…?"
"Please don't force me to lock myself in my room, I would much rather be working in the comfort of the lab" with her laptop and files in hand she walks past Delphine to the door, adding in the process "enjoy your fuck fest."
…
Delphine returns to her bedroom to find Jennifer in bed reading a book.
"That was fast" Jennifer says leaving the book on the bedside table.
"What did you tell her?" Delphine questions as she moves to the end of the bed.
"Well" Jennifer crawls toward the end of the bed until she's in front of Delphine "just the truth." She puts her arms around Delphine's neck "that I want you all to myself for the time being because I could die soon."
"Hey!" Delphine reprimands "don't say that, you're not gonna die!"
"You're sweet" Jennifer leans forward and gives Delphine a peck "now can you please forget about everything else and be mine for the next seventy two hours?" She begins unbuttoning the blonde's shirt.
It shouldn't after all this time, but it still marvels Delphine how easily she's able to do so when she has Jennifer sexually offering herself to her.
…
Lying in the bed on her side, Cosima tries in vain to get some sleep. She can't stop thinking about Delphine and Jennifer and the things they are doing not too far away from her. She tosses and turns but the images continue to crop up in her mind; it is hell, it is torture. Now that she is alone, she wonders if Delphine felt like this when she found out about Shay. If she had these same images in her mind at night alone in her bed. Cosima is suddenly stricken by a sense of guilt; imagining she was the cause of so much pain and suffering on the blonde. It makes her feel sick.
'How could I have been so cruel? How could I've made her go through that after all she did for us? I had a choice and I decided to do it; she didn't have one, she had to do what she felt had to be done. Ugh I'm so fucking selfish' Cosima regrets as tears roll down her face.
Already giving up on sleeping and with her head on the pillow crying bitterly, she prays to whatever deities out there for Delphine to always keep her on her mind, for her -despite all the trouble and pain - to still love her.