Cosima and Delphine try to fix their issues. A secret is revealed.
Cosima never imagined three days could last so long. She's glad the three days are finally over and she can walk from her room to the lab and vice versa without fearing she will cross paths with Delphine or worse, Jennifer.
That morning she went to the lab with the tranquility of knowing Jennifer is no longer there, but with the uncertainty of how things with Delphine would be from now on.
Delphine arrives a few minutes after Cosima. She enters the lab without saying a word, puts on her lab coat and walks slowly toward the brunette.
As Delphine approaches, Cosima observes her quietly.
Now a couple steps away from her, Delphine grabs a chair and sits down in front of Cosima. She takes a deep breath and begins speaking "Elise and Marion came for me after my visit with you at Bubbles; we did the switch then. Marion brought me here later and…"
Delphine spent hours explaining in detail everything that happened to her during the year they were apart.
This gave Cosima a new insight into the whole situation. She was able to understand the reasoning behind Delphine's behavior and decisions. She might not like all of it but at least everything made more sense now.
While eating in the cafeteria, Cosima took the opportunity to question Delphine about loose ends and topics she wanted answered in general. Delphine responded to all of her inquiries serenely and tried to be as specific as possible.
Looking around suddenly Cosima begins to wonder "Why haven't I seen Marion here?"
"Uh..." Delphine hesitates for a brief moment "She eats with Shay on the other side of the base."
Cosima tenses "she's still here huh?"
"It's for security reasons" Delphine justifies "Neolution is looking for her all over the world; Marion thinks she will be safer here at this base."
Despite knowing Shay's background and motives, Cosima still can't find it in her heart to forget what she did. "Can you please make sure we don't run into each other while she is here?" She looks down as she makes the request.
"Don't worry that has been taken care of."
"Good."
Sensing the change in the mood, Delphine decides it's time to do some work. "We should get back to the lab; I want you to keep me updated with all of your research."
"Sure let's go."
…
The next few days went well for the most part.
Cosima found Delphine to be more accessible now, but oddly quiet. She would catch her being distracted or worried and that annoyed Cosima because she knew the reason for Delphine's concern. When Marion or a soldier came to the lab, Delphine's immediate query was always the same "any news on Company C?" No matter how many times she heard the question, it always felt like a slap in the face to Cosima. She promised to cope with it, to be reasonable but that didn't stop her insecurities or fears.
It all blew up days later when a preoccupied Marion came to the lab along with a few soldiers.
"She's fine" Marion answers before Delphine can even open her mouth. "Mr. Brown has come here with news; and it's not good." She turns to the man and asks him to proceed.
"I'm afraid we are still in need of people who can lead the new troops. For now we are only putting the best soldiers in charge. They are willing and capable but without the appropriate guidance we are in danger of sending them out, only to be killed."
Marion and Delphine exchange looks.
"Maybe we can have 'speed training' sessions for the ones that are about to be sent out, so they can become leaders" Marion offers as an alternative.
"Sounds like a good start" The high ranking soldier seems to agree.
"In the meantime…" Delphine adds "I could go incognito and teach what I know to the ones already there."
"uhm" Marion is about to express her disapproval when a voice interrupts her.
"No!" Cosima sprints toward Delphine, "you're not going anywhere."
Delphine is surprised by Cosima's outburst at first. She turns her head to watch the confused expression on the visitor and the two other soldiers and how Marion threw a glance at her with a clear 'I told you so' meaning.
That makes her react "Cosima, stay out of this." She tries to sound as composed as possible. "These are military matters we're dealing with here; they are none of your concern."
"But you are of my concern" Cosima sticks a finger into Delphine's chest "And you're not going anywhere you hear me?" She clutches the blonde by the collar "you're staying here with me!"
Delphine's face morphs into one of rage. When a soldier moves forward with intentions of removing Cosima, Delphine snaps "Don't move!"
The soldier halts at the order.
"All of you!" She faces the three men in the room "out!"
They leave the lab quickly.
Once she is sure the door is closed, Delphine addresses Cosima, who still has a firm grip on her shirt. "Do you want to blow my cover and have me lose the respect of my men?" She grabs both of Cosima's wrists. "Do you want to put all of our lives at risk? Cause that's exactly what you are doing with your little tantrums." Delphine now detaches Cosima's grip on her, but still holding her by the wrists. "Listen to me, listen to me carefully" she says between clenched teeth "there will be no more of these scenes on your part. I will not allow it. If there is another repeat I will have you sent back to your sisters and we will have no further contact of any sort until I make sure this fucking war in over. Do you understand?" She pulls away from Cosima making her shake and then lets go of her wrists with force.
Cosima almost loses her balance but with some effort succeeds at remaining upright as Delphine passes by her. She turns in time to see the blonde throw down her white coat and walk out of the lab.
"And that… was Elise Cote."
The words startle Cosima, remembering that Marion was still in the room. She turns to face the woman in awe.
"The only thing missing is something broken on the floor…" Marion purses her lips and continues "or someone."
The fear in Cosima's eyes at the statement is evident. The mere thought of Delphine acquiring that level of aggressiveness was scary to her. She really hoped that what she just witnessed was the worst of it.
"Don't worry" Marion brings Cosima out of her trance "I will never allow her to go there." She gets closer to Cosima reaching out for her arm "I already lost one of my girls, I'm not about to lose another one." Marion gives her arm a little squeeze before letting go. She then departs in search of Delphine.
Standing alone in the lab gives Cosima the opportunity to calm down and analyze what just transpired a few minutes ago. Her mind seems to process the events quickly "shit." She holds both sides of her head "what did I do!" Cosima laments realizing she probably scared Delphine away.
'I can't let her push me away again I can't lose her.' She starts to come up with ways to fix her horrible mistake.
…
The following night, having found a solution to the problem with the troops, Delphine tries to get some rest after more than a day without sleep. She leans against the headboard of her bed rubbing her temple. She almost dreads not having to deal with this issue anymore because now she has a chance think and frankly she doesn't feel like it at the moment.
A soft knock breaks the stillness in the room.
Delphine groans leaning her head back. She knows exactly who is at the door. She seriously was in no mood to discuss this right now but couldn't find the will to fight it anymore. "Come in" she utters defeated.
A shy Cosima makes her way into the bedroom. "Hey" She waves her hand nervously.
"Hey" Delphine replies trying not to sound exasperated.
Sensing the heavy mood but noticing that Delphine is giving her an opportunity to explain, Cosima decides to come straight to the point. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I really don't know what came over me." She walks slowly over to the bed "well I think I kinda know" Cosima sighs "I'm just scared of losing you Delphine"
Delphine looks up watching Cosima intently.
"You have no idea what I went through when I thought I lost you, I…" Cosima's voice cracks "my life didn't make sense anymore; I'm not even sure how I made it this far. Then suddenly you came back to me and…" almost by inertia she sits on the bed by the blonde's side "I don't think I could survive if something really happens to you if you…"
"Hey, hey" Delphine can't stand seeing Cosima in this state. "Come here." She pulls her closer and surrounds Cosima with her arms "I'm here with you OK? I promise I will never leave you."
Cosima's heart skips a beat upon listening to the last sentence. She clutches tightly at Delphine's shirt at the memory of those same words and how they brought her back to life once.
'Don't be afraid, I will never leave you.'
She still can't believe it is a promise Delphine managed to fulfill with cries while holding onto her love.
"Shh it's OK" Delphine kisses Cosima's temple.
After a while when Cosima's crying had subsided Delphine decides to apologize herself "I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I got carried away and I really feel bad about it. I don't know, it's just I'm…"
"No, no it's fine" Cosima leans back a bit "I'm the one who got carried away. I should know better; you have new responsibilities now and I almost ruined it all!" She sniffs "you're under so much stress with all this mess and I get it. You have nothing to apologize for."
The blonde nods without saying anything else.
Cosima pulls away to take in her surroundings for the first time "So this is Elise's room huh?"
"Yeah" comes the soft voice of Delphine.
"Oh" Cosima recalls the conversation she had with Jennifer days before "I wanted to ask you something" She rearranges herself on the bed "Jennifer told me that she's known that you - well Elise and I would end up together. What did she mean? What did you tell her?"
At this Delphine sits up properly in bed letting out a long exhale. Her mind evoking a quote Marion said to her the very first day she stepped into the same room.
"You will find out you two had a lot in common."
XXXXXXXXXXX
The second visit from Jennifer came only three weeks after their first encounter. Marion teased Delphine by saying she probably made such a good impression on Jennifer that she couldn't wait any longer to see her again.
As expected they ended up in bed fairly quick; and that's exactly where they were now. Delphine found herself lost in thought, while Jennifer slept. Her thoughts always drifted to Cosima and how she was dealing with her absence after three months. She was so absorbed in her reverie that it took her a few moments to notice that her lover was awake.
"Ugh, don't do that!" Jennifer groans as she lazily drapes a hand over Delphine's face.
Delphine slaps the hand away "do what?" She asks genuinely confused.
"I can hear you thinking about the clone."
Panic settles in Delphine as the idea of being caught crosses her mind.
"I mean I get it," Jennifer props up on one elbow "She's hot and intriguing with her dreads and shit but isn't that kinda inappropriate? You're supposed to take care of her not wanting to screw her."
'Screw her?' Delphine becomes intrigued. She has never mentioned Cosima to Jennifer before which means Elise had. 'But why?' Delphine decides that it is time for her to do what she's been avoiding for a while; going to Elise's closet and fetching one specific item.
…
When Jennifer leaves the premises Delphine goes back to her room and straight to the closet. She stares for a second at a black box lying in the far corner. The second she saw that box a few months ago, she had a heavy feeling in her chest like she was intruding into something very private which prevented her from verifying its contents. Until now. Delphine is sure she needs to see what is inside to have a complete picture of who Elise was as an individual. Without much hesitation she retrieves the box and removes the cover.
"Fuck!" She exclaims with surprise as her eyes take in the contents "Oh fucking shit."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
"There's a box in the closet; a black box. Bring it."
Cosima does as she is told. She returns and places the box on the bed and sits on the edge.
"Open it" Delphine invites kindly.
The brunette's eyebrows knit together as she lifts the cover. "Wow there are lots of pictures!" She chuckles as she selects some to give them a closer look. "Me in school, me in college… hey these are pics ex-girlfriends have taken. How did you get them?"
"Well," Delphine runs a hand through her hair "those are not mine, those are Elise's."
"What?! Why?" Cosima rummages among the pictures and stuff inside the box.
"Apparently she and I had lots in common" Delphine shrugs with a sad smile.
At that moment Cosima picks up a small notepad. She scans the pages and gasps suddenly "Holly watershed!" There in different handwriting styles is her name surrounded by the cliché hearts and flowers.
Delphine puts her hand inside the box and retrieves a flash drive. She stands up and moves to the desk.
Cosima's eyes spot something else and she grabs it. It's a collage of printed pictures of herself smiling. She shakes her head with a hand covering her mouth.
With laptop in hand, Delphine presses play and a video starts playing.
"Shit that's…" Cosima gapes at the footage "that's a party at college…"
"There are plenty of videos like this on other flash drives" Delphine comments with melancholy "I think she had more than just a crush on you Cosima."
It is then that one specific memory comes to Cosima's mind, her eyes instantaneously fill with tears "it was her body, the one I held in my arms." The knowledge stricken her. "It was her, the one I cried for… the one I kissed goodbye. It was Elise" She chokes. "And I didn't even know she…" Cosima looks down at the pictures "She finally had the opportunity to be in front of me, in person… but she was…" She trails off as deep sobs wreck her.
Delphine feels her emotions take over too, aware that now she can share the pain of losing Elise with someone. "I know." She hugs Cosima again letting her own tears fall too, relieved at having the chance to mourn along with the woman she loves.
…
They don't know how it happened but they woke up the next morning in each other's arms.
"Oh uhmm" Delphine is the first to react "you OK?" She detaches carefully from the embrace.
"Yeah, yeah good" Cosima's face flushes as she sits up in bed.
Delphine bites her lip concealing the smirk that threatens to appear on her face at the knowledge that she can still provoke this reaction from Cosima.
"Uh…" Cosima searches among the sheets for her glasses "I think I better…" when she finds them she stands up and moves backwards toward the door.
"Sure" Delphine concedes with a neutral stare.
"OK. I… I will see you in the cafeteria in an hour" says Cosima as she leaves the bedroom clumsily.
When she is gone Delphine laughs delightfully. She then goes to take a shower, wondering how is it that Cosima manages to warm her heart with the simplest things.
Cosima for her part can't help the feelings she was trying to conceal, from reappearing. 'It's not a good time Cosima; it's actually the worst possible one you could choose.' As much as she wants to stop it her heart begins to have hope again. She shakes her head, and goes for a shower; confident that she can get a grip on her emotions once they get back into their routine.
…
During the subsequent week Delphine wasn't as tense as before. Cosima made an effort to be more supportive and understanding and they were communicating much better.
But of course nothing always goes as planned with them.
It was just another afternoon at the lab. Cosima and Delphine are immersed in their research when the door suddenly opens. Neither of them bother to turn around to look at the visitor since Marion was the only one with that kind of access to the lab.
Delphine waits for the woman to advise her of the information she had received but she never does. Intrigued she looks to the side and finds the tall brunette standing by the open door with a grave expression on her face.
At being acknowledged by the person she was seeking Marion starts "would you please come with me? I need to tell you something."
With this request Delphine goes pale. For a brief moment she doesn't move, she just stares at Marion with dread on her face. One name on her mind: Jennifer.
Cosima, who overhears what Marion said looks up and attempts to reach for Delphine, but the blonde steps away from her, lifting a hand to prevent any motion from her part.
Delphine nods solemnly, makes a movement of her shoulders trying in vain to gain composure and follows Marion out of the lab.
"Shit!" Cosima runs a hand over her face. 'Please don't let it be what I think it is. I don't need that right now, not now!'