Cosima asks a very important question. Delphine has had enough.
Cosima debates for a moment if she should follow them or not, ultimately deciding she wants to know what Marion has to say to Delphine. She intends to go to Marion's office but she stops before rounding the corner, as she hears voices close by. Cosima can't make out exactly what is being said but she is sure its Marion that is speaking. She approaches the corner quietly and sneaks a peek trying to avoid being noticed. The first thing Cosima takes in is Delphine's face. She watches intently how the blonde's expression changes from one of worry to that of shock.
Delphine places both hands on her face and turns her back on Marion.
Cosima can see how Delphine begins to lose it.
"Where is she?!" Delphine asks suddenly facing Marion again. "Is she still in Europe? Back in the States?" Where the fuck is she?!"
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't give you that information."
"I have to see her, what if she…" Delphine swallows. "I have to go, I have to be there!"
Marion sighs "you can't and you know it."
"You know I can find out where she is, right?" Delphine threatens in an attempt to get the information faster.
"I'm aware of that but you are not going to." Marion steps forward challengingly. "You wouldn't risk Neolution finding out about your identity; you wouldn't jeopardize the whole purpose of this mission out of emotional involvement."
Delphine wants to refute this, but instead swallows her words, both hands formed into fists by her sides.
"I'll be sure to keep you updated on a regular basis about her condition." Marion reaches for her shoulder but Delphine evades her.
With a look of contempt for the woman in front of her, she turns and trots away from the facility.
Wasting no time Cosima rushes over to Marion "what happened?"
Marion wasn't surprised that Cosima was nearby. Taking into consideration her feelings Marion responds. "Jennifer was injured in combat; her condition is listed as unstable. Delphine didn't take it too well."
"Crap!" Cosima laments. "Where is she going?"
It is then Marion shows traces of uncertainty "I don't know." She pulls out her cellphone and exhales. "I never thought I would have to do this" she mumbles more to herself than to Cosima. She presses one button "Yes, this is Bowles. I want the base on lock down; nobody leaves the premises until further notice." Marion hesitates for a second before adding "not even Miss Cote."
Cosima gasps with fear staring at the tall brunette.
After ending the call Marion comments "I knew how to read Elise; I could predict her answers and reactions to certain situations. I can't do that with Delphine; she is still adapting to her new life and… that makes her unpredictable." She finalizes while still preoccupied.
That was enough to put Cosima into action "I have to find her" with that she runs in search of Delphine.
….
She has been wandering through the base, looking in the places Delphine had previously told her she usually hangs out. Cosima finally finds her in the smaller hangar. She stands quietly observing Delphine from the entrance.
Delphine is hitting and kicking a punching bag with such force that it looks like it will disengage from the ceiling at any moment.
The brunette is not used to seeing this side of Delphine. It pains her to witness the once delicate and proper French woman being transformed into this aggressive and distressed soldier. Cosima takes a deep breath and prepares herself for whatever reaction Delphine might display. She slowly walks up to her.
With one last kick Delphine stops her attack on the bag, having already taken notice of Cosima's presence. She places her hands on her hips; her nostrils are flaring and she is breathing faster.
"I've been looking for you." Cosima remains at a respectable distance to give Delphine some space.
Delphine doesn't respond.
"I… Marion and I were worried about you." Cosima fiddles nervously with her bangles. "She ordered a lock down of the base, no one can leave."
Delphine turns her head quickly "She what?!"
"I don't know, she says you are unpredictable" Cosima offers with a shrug.
"Great" Delphine mutters holding the bridge of her nose.
Cosima bites her lip; a question is burning on her mind. She waits a moment and then hesitatingly, she asks softly. "Do you love her?"
"What?" Delphine demands a clarification, thinking she heard it wrong.
The brunette lifts her head staring directly into Delphine's eyes "Are you in love with Jennifer?"
The question appears to have physically hurt Delphine "Fuck Cosima, of course not!" She shakes her head "what the hell…"
"But you do have feelings for her right?" Cosima presses on, her heart wanting to clear away her doubts once and for all.
"I…" Delphine's immediate response is to deny the assertion but discovers she can't. She opens her mouth and wavers until she decides to give the most honest answer "I… I don't know."
Though she was expecting that sort of response, Cosima couldn't help but feel devastated. Her eyes sting, her throat is beginning to close but she doesn't want to do this in front of Delphine. "OK" Cosima replies as calmly as she can "I-I will see you inside." She turns to leave.
"Cosima, wait!"
The sound of her name on the blonde's lips makes her stop. Cosima wishes she wasn't so powerless in Delphine's presence but here she is unable to move, unable to think; just waiting for her next request.
"Please don't go…" It's not so much a request as it is an earnest plea.
The tone in Delphine's voice takes Cosima aback. She spins around and what she observes leaves her horrified.
"Don't leave me… please" Delphine is falling onto her knees and breaking down.
Without thinking Cosima sprints over to her love's side on the floor and supports her by leaning into her body before she completely collapses. "It's OK baby, it's OK." She tries to soothe her.
"I don't know who I am anymore. I…I don't know what to do, what to feel." Delphine sobs in Cosima's arms. "Help me please, help me." She's inconsolable.
Cosima is holding her with as much strength as her body allows, even though her heart was breaking. On one hand, seeing Delphine defeated as she is right now is a vision she wishes she could have been spared. On the other hand, she never imagined she would be consoling the blonde over the possible loss of another woman. She feels hurt, confused and a little bit angry; but she has to put those feelings aside in favor of taking care of Delphine. Cosima lets the blonde cry for a while to release the tension that she has obviously contained for quite some time. But as soon as she notices the crying has lessened, she carefully gets them off the floor.
"Hey, we should go back, you'll feel better in your own room; I'll stay with you if you want OK?" Cosima puts Delphine's arm around her neck and then holds her by the waist as they begin walking.
…
When they finally made it to Delphine's room, Cosima took her straight to the bathroom.
"You need to take a long hot shower; it'll relax you I promise" Cosima encourages. But the blonde doesn't move at all. "C'mon Delphine, you have to help me here." She reaches for Delphine's shirt, unbuttoning it. She proceeds to remove the garment; then goes for the belt and the pants until Delphine is in her underwear. When Cosima stands up though, this is when she realizes the woman she loves is barely covered. "woah! um" her eyes momentarily take in the blonde's body and how well built she looks now. Memories of that same body in her arms flowed into her mind bringing back sensations she had long ago buried deep in her sorrows. Cosima is so tempted to reach out and touch the soft skin, but with the little self-control she still possesses she refrains, deciding the escape route is the best choice "so do you think uh…" She takes a few steps and turns the shower on "…that you can take it from here?"
Delphine looks down at herself and nods absentmindedly.
"OK then…" I'll be outside if you uh… need anything" after saying that she leaves the bathroom.
…
Twenty minutes later Cosima was sitting on Delphine's bed, biting her nails. She had handed the blonde her pajamas and she was expected to be coming out any minute now. Cosima considers leaving to avoid any awkward situation but she did promise Delphine she would stay and she wants to remain faithful to her word; despite that everything inside of her is telling her this is a bad idea.
The door finally opens revealing a tired but more composed Delphine.
Cosima stands up "How are you feeling?" her mood switching to a protective one.
"Um…better I guess" Delphine replies honestly. She seems to consider something before continuing, "I'm sorry about… I was… I still…"
"No, don't worry about it" Cosima interrupts suddenly "I'm here for you Delphine. I'll always be here for you." She finally locks eyes with the blonde.
This causes the blonde to smile softly "thank you" She holds Cosima's gaze intently.
Cosima's lips tremble; her mind can't come up with anything else to say.
They both stare at each other in silence.
In an impulsive move Delphine rushes toward Cosima embracing her and capturing her mouth in a rough kiss.
An involuntary moan escapes Cosima's lips at the unexpected intrusion. She doesn't have time to think about what's going on when Delphine pushes her backwards and her back hits the desk. Cosima's body shudders as cold hands roam over her body. Her mind is beginning to cloud at the ministration, she's enjoying it too much; it's a dream come true.
Delphine is devouring her mouth, feeling her up forcefully, pressing more and more against her body in an almost animalistic way. All of a sudden something pops into Cosima's subconscious.
'This is not Delphine, she's not like this; this is wrong. She's not being herself, this is not her.'
Even though Delphine has acquired a new identity with obvious radical changes inside and out, deep within Cosima she felt this is not how Delphine would let their first physical encounter, after so long, happen. She's about to push Delphine off her body when Delphine detaches herself first.
"Oh my God" Delphine who is two steps away already, stares at Cosima in shock. She runs a hand across her mouth like she just now realized what she has done. "I'm so sorry Cosima I don't know what I was thinking I…" her face flushed bright red with shame.
Cosima opens her mouth several times but nothing comes out. She doesn't mean to be rude or falter on her previous promise to stand by the blonde, but even a blind person could see that they would be better off alone at this moment. So giving a quick glance at an embarrassed Delphine, Cosima steps out of the room.
Once outside she lets a gush of air escape her lungs, as reality hit hard. "Shit that was… this is fucked up, so fucked up." Thinking that their chances are little by little blowing up, she walks back to her room feeling conflicted, confused and absolutely aroused.
…
The loud knocking on the door is what brought Cosima back to consciousness but what really woke her up is the familiar voice calling her name persistently. She stands abruptly and opens the door.
"Cosima!" Delphine lets out, looking at her anxiously.
"What's going on?!" The brunette senses that what Delphine wants to say has nothing to do with what happened with them earlier.
"It's Sarah she…" Delphine pauses "She and Helena left."
"What!"
"We… we're not sure, they kinda escaped the soldiers vigilance and uh…just come with me." Delphine grabs Cosima by the hand and leads her to Marion's office.
…
"… yes call me as soon as you have news, I'll do the same." Marion hangs up with a big exasperated sigh. Upon noticing Cosima's presence she shakes her head with a disproving look. "That was Siobhan. Apparently Sarah received a message from Rachel telling her she has something for her, and you know what she did?" Marion clenches her teeth "She went, taking Helena along with her!"
"Holly watershed!" Cosima covers her mouth.
"Fuck" Delphine mutters with eyes closed.
"Your sister is reckless, she has no idea how much she is risking by going there, and with Helena nonetheless! The two golden girls delivered on a silver platter to Neolution!" Marion exclaims as she begins to lose her cool. "It could be a trap, she could be walking into a death sentence or worse she could be walking into a lab cage" she scoffs. "Now I have to deploy half of our reserves to go and save their asses. And pray to God or destiny that we can find them before something else happens." She addresses Delphine "you know what to do."
Delphine nods as Marion storms out of her office. She then faces Cosima "I gotta…"
But Cosima is too worried to pay attention to her "this is bad really bad." She paces the office floor. "Siobhan must be worried sick. And Felix and Alison! I have to go back; I have to be there for them!" Cosima finally turns toward Delphine with an expectant and apologetic expression.
"Yeah of course I understand. I'll get everything ready." Delphine is about to go when Cosima calls her attention.
"Hey."
The blonde stops and stares at her.
"We are going to talk… when I come back, right?" Cosima's body leans to the side uncertainly.
Delphine gulps; a million things running through her mind. Either way she concedes "Yes we are. We must."
Cosima holds the intense gaze for a moment to make sure Delphine meant it. When she is satisfied, she continues "OK then. I'm going to pack, let me know when everything is set." She leaves the room immediately after.
Watching her go, Delphine considers if she will be ready to face the consequences of her actions and if she will have her feelings sorted out by the time Cosima comes back. She also hoped Jennifer was fine so she could be calmer and think things out more clearly. Nobody really warned her about how complicated and tiring it was being involved with women. With a small shake of her head Delphine prepares herself to deal with the task at hand: bringing the twin sisters back alive.