Shay's resolution. Cosima and Delphine FINALLY talking.

Next chapter is the final one, you don't want to miss it!

Shay finishes packing the last of her personal belongings into a duffel bag. She looks around one last time at the room that served as her home for the past several months. She would consider this all a bad dream that is finally coming to an end, if it wasn't for the guilt inside of her and the hole in her soul. Nothing will erase the things she did, nobody will take Cosima's place in her heart; all of her being will be possessed by remorse forever.

The knock on the door serves as a welcomed distraction and she hurries to answer it. It doesn't matter how much time passes or the fact that she knows who the person is; Shay is always going to be a little jumpy whenever she sees that face. Yet again another reminder that will be engraved in her mind forever.

"Your transportation is ready Miss Davydov" The tall blonde informs her.

"Uh, it's just Shay" She smiles lightly.

"OK" Delphine nods "shall we?"

"Yeah let's go" Shay grabs her bag and follows Delphine through the hallway that leads to the exit of the building.

As they walk, Delphine makes some small talk, "Marion mentioned you will be visiting your father?"

"Yeah, I want to see my old man; check on his health and all before my trip to India. After that I will rejoin the military, but this time as a massage therapist. There are loads of soldiers in need of relief from minor injuries or simply require relaxation from stress or tension you know. I think I could be of some help there and I would feel like I'm doing something good."

"But you did plenty of good for the mission already Shay."

"Well…" Shay sighs "it doesn't feel that way to me."

Delphine can tell the girl is consumed with guilt and tries to dissuade her. "I know things happened that can't ever be changed, they were done for a purpose and we achieved that purpose; that was our mission, and the rest is totally out of our hands. The only thing we can do is move forward and create a new future for ourselves; like me, I already requested to be discharged so I can start my new life with…" She stops before the name can escape her lips.

Shay comes to a halt and takes in the expression on Delphine's face. Then it hits her "Cosima? You're with Cosima?"

"Um we kinda uh…" Delphine waves her hands trying to explain "I'm aware of the nature of the relationship you two had but…"

"No, no it's fine you don't have to say anything. We never really were a couple." Shay chuckles shaking her head. "I sort of imagined already something like this happening. It's good really, I'm happy for her." Even as she tries to hide it, the disappointment is evident.

Delphine composes herself before continuing, "Shay, you deserve to be happy too; but you're not gonna do it by hiding behind the Army. I'm sure you could make a great life for yourself away from this world of lies and conspiracies. You could start over again, in a place where you socialize and meet new people that have nothing to do with the mission. In time you could open your own practice as a massage therapist and meet that special person you want in your life; everybody deserves a second chance."

"No, not me" Shay states stubbornly "I killed the love of Cosima's life! Yes she has you now, but that doesn't change the fact that I killed Delphine and …" her voice breaks "no matter how much of a cunt she was, I took her life and I can't forgive myself for that, and I'm sure Cosima can't either." She swallows with trembling lips. "But most importantly I can't forgive myself for the pain I caused… the love of my life." Shay finally admits with tears she couldn't stop.

Delphine lowered her head at the admission, while thinking about her next words, "I can assure you, she would have forgiven you" she searches Shay's eyes. "If she had survived, she would have forgiven you. She knew what she was doing and for whom and I bet she wouldn't have any regrets." She ends with conviction, having spoken not only for herself but also for Elise.

"Yeah" Shay wipes the tears away with her hand "but Delphine is not here to confirm that is she?" Shay carries on to the exit.

Delphine opens her mouth, closes it and follows the other girl.

The jeep was already at the entrance, waiting to transport Shay to her destination.

Both women briefly pause at the door where Shay, after some thought, speaks.

"Look Elise I know what you're doing and thank you but I made up my mind, this is what I deserve after all I've done. I can only hope Cosima will find happiness by your side; you seem like a nice girl just…" Shay closes her eyes as a memory crosses her mind. She swallows, opens her eyes again and lets out "be good to her."

Delphine remembers with melancholy saying those same words under similar circumstances. She offers a slight smile of reassurance "I will."

When Shay is about to get into the vehicle, Delphine calls her name, the short blonde turns to face her.

"I know it is not gonna be much consolation for you, but there are a couple of items for you inside the vehicle. They will give you some explanation about certain events. After that I hope you make the best decision for you and your future. Good luck Miss Davydov."

Puzzled and intrigued Shay manages to reply "thank you." She climbs into the vehicle and spots a small wooden chest on the seat beside her. She opens it up to verify its contents: an envelope and a small box. Shay is curious and quickly grabs for what is inside the smaller box.

With a move of her hand, Delphine orders the driver to proceed.

"Oh my God!" Shay gasps covering her mouth with one hand while staring at the object in her other hand.

It is a razor blade pendant with the words 'Forgive' engraved on each side in Russian and French.

Shay whips her head back in time to watch Delphine standing at attention and saluting her before going inside the facility. She places the pendant on the car seat and focuses her attention on the envelope that reveals a letter in familiar hand writing. She briefly hesitates before she starts reading it.

XXXXXXXXX

Days earlier

Delphine watches as Cosima packs her stuff for her departure the next day to her sisters. She has something on her mind and decides she better approach the topic now.

"Cosima, before you go, I think you should talk to Shay."

Cosima halts, holding tightly onto one of her shirts, anger and something else boiling inside of her "I'm not doing that."

"Look, I understand it's hard, but you have to do this for yourself, you really have to clear the air between the two of you and move past it."

"I don't wanna talk about this alright? Just let it go" Cosima replies annoyed as she resumes with her packing.

"No, neither of us will let it go; this is not good for you Cosima, you have to get it out of your system and…"

"ENOUGH!" Cosima yell, startling Delphine. She closes her eyes and grabs her head with both hands. "I can't Delphine, I can't do it."

The blonde attempts to get closer but Cosima stops her with a hand held up high.

"Don't you get it? I can't stand seeing her face; the only thing that comes into my mind is the image of her shooting you! Killing you! Then I feel bad because I'm relieved that it was Elise and not you. I shouldn't feel this way! Elise was a person, a person who loved me and died for me but I… all I can think of is you." Cosima shakes her head. "Also every time I remember Shay's face I…" she chokes back a sob "I recall the fact that I almost killed her."

At this Delphine walks towards her not caring if Cosima wants her there or not. Fortunately, Cosima doesn't protest and lets herself be held.

At the sensation of Delphine's warm body against hers, Cosima relents and cries, "I almost did the same thing I hate her for, I almost became a murderer!" She holds onto Delphine "I don't wanna see her and have to live it all over again in my mind, please don't make me do it, I can't do it please."

"OK, OK you don't have to, don't worry." Delphine kisses Cosima's forehead "we will figure something out, we will find another way."

XXXXXXX

Shay: at this point I'm sure you already know about Delphine. I want you to know that even though she is alive, that doesn't change in any way what you did. Sure, now I understand the reasons and the why, but there's something about that image that I can't get out of my mind, it's too much pain to bear. I also want you to understand that I'm not justifying what I almost did to you; I was blinded by rage and sorrow and that is something I will have to live with in my own conscious forever. I wish we could discuss this in person but I find it impossible to do so at the moment; there are many things we need to process and forgive each other for. But I want to promise you, that we will have this conversation and see each other someday when this pain lessens. Believe me I expect that day to come so I can see you again with no hatred or remorse in my soul. Now don't go and make rash decisions, don't let the pain and rage guide you like it did to me more than once. Be yourself but most importantly fight for a good life and pursue happiness, we all deserve it, don't you ever forget that. Good luck with everything. Until we meet again. Cosima.

Shay cries silently holding the letter tightly to her chest. She feels like a tight knot in her chest has loosened its grip. Cosima is right, she thinks, what's done is done and she will have to live with the consequences. But the idea of Cosima actually staying with the love of her life, the mere thought of Cosima being happy is enough for her. So with the bit of optimism she thought she lost for good, Shay places the letter back into the wooden chest and grabs the pendant, giving it a look "fucking cunt," she murmurs to herself with a chuckle and proceeds to put the pendant around her neck. Smiling sincerely for the first time in months and with a glint of hope in her eyes; Shay starts reconsidering plans for her future.

…

Delphine arrived in Toronto in the evening. She is tired and a little stressed out, still with her mind on the base. One of the soldiers hands her the keys to the car that was waiting for her. She says her good byes and they wish her good luck.

The drive to her residence went smoothly and Delphine was thankful because she didn't exactly feel like putting up with the traffic. She makes a quick pit stop at the store. That's when she decides to call Cosima to let her know she's in town.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me. You asked me to call you as soon as I arrived," Delphine says a bit nervously.

"Oh you're here! Awesome, tell me where you're staying so I can stop by and chat a bit," Cosima replies with enthusiasm.

"Uh…" Delphine scratches her head "it's late Cosima and I'm really tired. Why don't you stay with your sisters, you're having that family gathering anyways right? Tomorrow I promise I'll call and we can meet."

"But I want to see you!" Cosima argues sensing something is not right "are you OK? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine it's just… I'm tired that's all. I just need some rest." Delphine knows what's really bothering her and she's starting to get uncomfortable. It's guilt.

Cosima is about to call bullshit and ask for an explanation when something occurs to her; a horrible thought that she wishes is only part of her insecurities and vast imagination. "Did you sleep with Jennifer?" she blurts out.

Delphine snaps her head up in surprise 'how the hell did she…' she's left speechless.

"You slept with her didn't you?" Cosima demands once again with anger.

"I…"

"Oh wow holy shit!" Cosima laughs bitterly. "That's why you were in such a rush for me to leave the base; you wanted to have your farewell fuck didn't you?!"

"Cosima it's not like that!" Delphine tries to explain.

"Oh yeah! Care to tell me what it is then?" Cosima challenges but immediately changes her mind. "You know what? Forget it. I don't wanna know shit. I hope her pussy was worth it?" Saying that she hangs up, leaving behind the 'tolerant' Cosima.

"Fuck!" Delphine throws her head back in frustration. She knew this was going to be the outcome, she knew she had a lot of work to do to fix it; but for now she doesn't want to think about it. She enters the store, buys a six pack of beer and a bottle of whiskey, willing at least for tonight to forget about the non-break up with her non-girlfriend and about the shit that she is expecting when she meets Cosima.

….

The following night, Cosima leaves the science workshop she has been attending, still pissed off. She stops for a second to deliberate whether to go out for a drink with Felix or have a chill evening with Siobhan and Sarah when she suddenly looks up to find the cause of her distress some distance away.

"Hi" Delphine waves shyly as she approaches.

Cosima's jaw opens at the vision of Delphine looking almost like the Delphine she first met. She is wearing jeans, a big black jacket, boots, white scarf and a cute white beanie she never imagined Delphine would ever wear in her life. She barely has any make-up on but she still manages to look gorgeous. Cosima for a second wants to jump into her arms, but with a shake of her head, she comes back to reality. She doesn't greet Delphine back, instead she gives her a once over.

"Oh," Delphine looks down at herself "this is all Elise's, even the boots" she chuckles "lots in common."

Cosima doesn't seem amused by the comment. She glares at her and passes by her.

Delphine follows her, "Cosima wait. We should talk, c'mon please let's talk."

The brunette ignores her and keeps on walking.

"I'm sorry!" Delphine exclaims surprising herself, but it finally got Cosima's attention, who abruptly stops and turns around.

If looks could kill Delphine was pretty sure she would be dead by now.

"You're sorry?" Cosima scoffs. "What exactly are you sorry for? Screwing with her? For wanting me out of your way so you could do it freely?"

It is then Delphine realizes she isn't really sure exactly why she is sorry. Apparently she is taking too long to reply because Cosima clenches her jaw and is about to continue on her way when Delphine begins to speak. "Remember when you asked me if I had feelings for her?" The question lingers in the air as she looks down.

Cosima feels a shiver running down her spine; her mind is going a mile a minute. She swallows; her heart is beating fast. She nods weakly, wanting to know what Delphine has to say, even if it breaks her heart.

After a few agonizing seconds Delphine continues. "The answer is no." She lifts her head, searching for the brunette's eyes "not romantic ones at least," Delphine complements.

Air leaves Cosima's lungs in a loud exhale.

"But I could have. I was about to, maybe" Delphine responds honestly. "But how can you fill a heart that is already occupied?"

She hates that it appears as a consolation. Cosima glances to the side to avoid looking at her, while deciding whether to kiss Delphine or slap her across the face. But even though it sounds nice and sincere she still needs to know something. "Did you even consider what you were about to do?" She faces Delphine again. "Did you really think about me waiting here for you and how much you would hurt me if you fucked her?"

Delphine sighs slowly while staring at Cosima; a hurtful memory surfaced deep within her mind. She can't contain it any longer. "And how about you? Did you think the same about me while you were sleeping with Shay?"

There it was; the topic that both of them had been avoiding since the day they reunited.

Cosima's face fell, completely taken aback by the question.

She had been purposely evading making any direct comments concerning the subject. Delphine was aware that it was still a sore subject for Cosima; but if they were going to include their own individual emotional reactions into the discussion, she may as well share the one thing that truly hurt her regarding their relationship.

At the lack of a response from the brunette, Delphine continues. "I know I broke up with you and it was unfair to do so without a proper explanation and maybe having a discussion on the future of our relationship. At that time I thought I was making the right call to protect you and your sisters; now I know I acted rashly and for that I am truly sorry. But in your case you were the one who made the choice to be with Shay, maybe you felt lonely or you wanted to rub it in my face, I don't know; but it was something you decided to do. I didn't have that luxury Cosima; it was imposed upon me to become Elise with no notice or preparation. Then I was shoved into Jennifer's arms to test a theory. Yeah, what happened next was up to me but what else was I supposed to do? I…" She runs a hand through her hair, hesitant "I got lonely too" Delphine confesses in a low voice.

Silence passes between them.

Cosima is the first to speak. "You're - you're right. I'm sorry." She clears her throat in an attempt to clear the trembling in her voice. "We both did things that hurt the other out of despair or anger. I don't have the right to judge your decisions or what you did because well, we both had our reasons; right or wrong they were our personal choices and we both have gone through a lot and…" She closes her eyes fighting the remains of her anger. "We should be focusing on finding a way to move past that and making this work."

"Yeah" Delphine breathes a sigh of relief "lets do that."

"But first uh…" Cosima lifts a hand "we better take a little break just to… let the weirdness dissipate." She suggests leaning to the side.

"Oh OK right sure…"

'And wait for the feeling of her body to vanish from your mind and that image to leave mine.' Cosima thinks this but never verbalizes it. She comes with a plan instead, "how about you come and pick me up on Friday? we can go for coffee or something and see how it goes."

This makes Delphine feel a lot calmer "sounds great."

"OK then, I'll see you on Friday," and with that Cosima walks straight to the bus stop. She knows if she looks back, she would never let go.

…

Friday arrived soon enough. As expected, Delphine was waiting for Cosima outside the science workshop.

Both, in a better mood, smiled timidly upon seeing each other.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Um there's a good coffee shop nearby," Cosima points nervously in the direction they are supposed to go.

"After you." Delphine chivalrously moves to the side to let Cosima lead the way.

Among the coffee and sandwiches, they took the opportunity to keep the conversation light and catch up on their whereabouts. It felt informal and comfortable, just what they both needed at the time.

Later Delphine took Cosima back to Mrs. S house, where Cosima was staying at the moment. They stood facing each other near the place.

"This was nice." Cosima comments and she really means it.

"Yeah it was." Delphine glances down for a second before saying "so I was thinking how about if we go out like on Monday or something?"

"Go out like… on a date?" Cosima beams with a brow lifted.

Delphine chuckles, while a light blush tints her cheeks "yes a date; a proper date if you must. I mean you did say you wanted to start from scratch and we never really did this so…"

The brunette studies her, still smiling until she finally replies, "on one condition."

The blonde looks at her expectantly.

"The second date is on me."

….

Cosima steps out of Felix's loft, only to find her date waiting for her "wow punctual, I like you already" she smirks admiring Delphine's choice of clothing that consisted of a form fitting black blazer, dark blue pants and a white tank top.

"I aim to please" Delphine replies flirtatiously, also enjoying the view of Cosima in a tight blue dress "shall we?" She comments before she gets too distracted.

"Where are you taking us?" Cosima asks curiously as they begin walking.

"You'll see."

The date did not disappoint.

Delphine made reservations at a small and elegant restaurant, where they flirted pretty much the whole evening. Later they walked downtown holding hands and generally enjoying each other's company. When Delphine and Cosima got back to Felix's place, the brunette made Delphine an offer.

"Do you wanna come up with me? Felix is gonna be out all night, maybe we can have a glass or two of wine… chat a bit?" She shrugs nonchalantly.

The blonde sighs trying to conceal a smile. "I'd love to but we know what's gonna happen as soon as we cross the threshold."

Cosima chortles with an expression that says 'you got me.' "Is that a bad thing?" She asks with a low voice, rubbing her thumb over Delphine's hand.

"No it's not." Delphine grasps Cosima's other hand too, while locking eyes with her, "it's just that…" she struggles to find the right words to express herself.

"Oh." Cosima begins to understand what the blonde is trying to say, "You-you don't think we are ready" she states disappointed.

"Well" Delphine replies "Actually, I don't think I'm ready."

"Right, right." Cosima rushes to assure Delphine as not to make her feel bad "we were supposed to take it slowly duh!" she chuckles awkwardly.

Delphine nods rapidly.

"OK then!" Cosima changes the subject "so how about if we focus on our next date instead?"

"Good! What do you have in mind?" Delphine questions invading Cosima's personal space.

"You'll see." Cosima sticks her tongue out mischievously.

Cosima looks so adorable, so free, so content right then and there; like Delphine hasn't seen her in a long time, that she can't resist it. She leans in to capture the brunette's lips in a tender kiss.

Cosima is taken by surprise but only for a second. She reciprocates the kiss and deepens it just

enough to savor it.

When they broke off the kiss, they leaned their foreheads together still dazed.

"Wow" Cosima is breathless.

"Yeah…" Delphine inhales, her senses invaded by Cosima's scent. "I had a great time tonight."

"Ditto."

"I can't wait for our next date."

"It will be soon I promise." After saying this Cosima stands on her toes to connect their lips once again in a kiss just as soft and intense as the previous one.

Delphine is the first one to separate. "OK," she slowly pulls away. "I think if I don't go now I never will."

Cosima crackles "ugh that was my master plan."

They both giggle contently.

"See you soon." Delphine kisses Cosima's hand as she lets go of it.

"Bye," Cosima manages enthralled by Delphine's retreating figure. She cocks her head to the side noticing how 'militarish' Delphine still appears. 'Will she change at some point?' She questions herself but then shrugs, 'whatever, I can totally get used to it' When the object of her affection is out of sight she turns and marches into Felix's loft, skipping around like a happy little girl.

…

The text message had said: dress chic but casual. That is how Delphine found herself wearing black loose pants and a white blouse with comfortable shoes as she waits for Cosima.

The brunette appears not long after, in another one of her killer dresses. She swings her hips as she approaches.

"Hi" Cosima greets seductively.

"Uh um…" Delphine just stares at her dumbfounded.

Obtaining the desired effect Cosima smirks, bringing Delphine down for a kiss. She has to refrain from using her tongue as she doesn't want a make out session in the middle of the street. "Hmm," she pulls away slowly "ready to go?"

"Uh huh," Delphine shakes her head a little "and where is it that we are going?"

"Well," the playfulness in Cosima comes back "first we are having some take out and we will eat it anywhere."

"What?"

"Yeah, like choosing a light meal and having it wherever the wind takes us!" She shrugs sticking her tongue out.

"OK," Delphine chuckles "what else?"

….

"Dancing?!" Delphine exclaims standing in front of the club that Cosima has taken her to.

"Yup, dancing." Cosima bounces in place "that's something else we never really did so… c'mon. It'll be fun." She pulls Delphine through the entrance.

Delphine rolls her eyes letting herself be dragged inside.

And it was fun. Really, really fun.

Delphine knew how good a dancer Cosima was – she had video proof even- but Cosima had no idea about Delphine. When she actually saw her on the dance floor she was flabbergasted. The way the blonde swayed her hips, twirling to the music, seducing Cosima was definitely a new experience for both of them. Cosima recovered quickly from her stupor and matched the sexy moves with her own. She turned around and ground her body against Delphine's causing the blonde to hold her tight against her. They danced, they laughed, and they roamed their hands over each other's contours resulting in an erotic private party that lasted hours.

Around 3 AM Cosima and Delphine stumbled out of the club, giggling and pushing each other playfully. They had walked a few meters away when suddenly Delphine pulls at Cosima's arm, guiding them both into an alley. There, she pushes the brunette against a wall and kisses her hard. Cosima groans into the unexpected kiss, the contained passion finding its release as she kisses back with the same intensity, this time allowing her tongue some entry. Delphine, feeling the welcomed intrusion, supports herself on the wall behind Cosima's head, resisting the urge to grab Cosima like she did inside the club. Cosima for her part can't help running her hand through the blonde locks to prologue the sweet torture. After a while their heavy make out session came to a reluctant end as they both were in need of oxygen.

"Delphine" Cosima starts, panting "I don't want to put pressure on you or anything but you're not helping with this 'going slow' thingy and…" She gulps "I'm gonna need a new wrist if we continue this way."

Delphine throws her head back with a grunt imagining Cosima touching herself. "I know my love and I'm sorry." She replies still out of breath "I'm not exactly quiet myself."

Cosima opens her eyes and then whimpers leaning her head on the wall. "Thank you very much for the visuals," she sighs defeated. "I'm not sure how long I'll be able to wait." and Cosima doesn't mean it as a complaint, she just wants to be honest.

"Don't worry baby, I have a solution for that."

"You do?" Cosima sounds far too excited.

"Yes!" Delphine smirks lazily. "How about a weekend in Montreal away from everybody… just the two of us?"

"Holy watershed! That-that's sounds amazing!" Cosima can't mask her enthusiasm for the idea.

"Good, it's a date then." Delphine bites her lip.

Cosima grins naughtily before commenting "So, we are doing the whole 'third date's the charm' huh?"

"What can I say; I'm a very traditional woman." Delphine shrugs making Cosima laugh out loud.

"Alright let's get going, my hot gentlewoman." Cosima leans forward giving Delphine a peck in the lips. She starts to walk out of the alley but the blonde refuses to let go of her hand.

"Cosima?"

"hmm?"

Delphine moves closer to Cosima, grabs her other hand and asks in a solemn tone, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Cosima's heart flutters at the sweet question; a sudden blush rushes onto her face. She takes a few seconds to compose herself before replying with a shy smile. "Yes, I'd love to be your girlfriend."

With a similar shy smile Delphine takes Cosima's face with both hands and plants another kiss filled with emotion onto Cosima's tender lips.

Contented and grinning from ear to ear they hold hands as they go on their way to find Delphine's car.

Both already dreaming about the amazing weekend ahead of them.