Chapter 9: The Art of Acting Out

After learning of his twin sister and learning his aunt and Uncle, and everybody else who'd known, had withheld it from him for over fourteen years Harry's behaviour became unpredictable. This added on to what he was already going through at home was too much for him to cope with. He'd started acting out in class, getting into loads of trouble and getting numerous detentions. He was driving his Aunt and Uncle round the bend with his poor behaviour and disgraceful attitude. Maybe he wouldn't be acting out as much if they didn't abuse him and continually neglect him and all his essential needs. He would go to school where he was safe and go home to a house where he was thoroughly hated, where he would be emotionally and physically abused. It was a never ending cycle. Detention kept him in school and out of the house longer, reducing the amount of time he spent in that hellhole. He just didn't want to go home to be abused again. Maybe if he stopped acting out Uncle Vernon would stop but then again he'd beaten for no reason in the past and before he'd started acting out. He doubted it would stop even if he did stop acting out. All he wanted for was for them to pay him a tiny bit of attention and not ignore him as if he didn't even exist.

At school Harry was acting out again and winding Mr Fitzgerald up. He had written several questions on the blackboard and had told them to figure out the answers. Harry hadn't done this, he had barely attempted it. He couldn't be bothered because he absolutely hated maths because he sucked at it. Then Mr Fitzgerald asked Harry to give him one of the answers. "Harry, the answer to number five" he said.

"I don't know sir" he shrugged.

"Look in your book" Mr Fitzgerald hissed.

"I haven't done it" Harry replied casually seeing anger spill onto Mr Fitzgerald's face. "I couldn't be bothered"

"I still want you to give me the answer" Mr Fitzgerald said firmly.

"I don't know the answer" Harry retorted.

"Work it out you lazy boy" Mr Fitzgerald fumed.

"I can't. It's too hard" Harry said, knowing full well he was angering Mr Fitzgerald and heading straight for after school detention. "Ask someone else"

"I want you to give me the answer" Mr Fitzgerald seethed through gritted teeth.

"I can't give you the answer because I don't the answer to that stupid question!" Harry snapped.

"Get out of my classroom!" Mr Fitzgerald barked "Go and wait outside"

Harry stood up and stormed out of the classroom. He leaned against the wall and folded his arms. He got bored so he started kicking the wall with his foot. While he was stood there his English teacher Mrs Hanscombe came past. "Been sent out again have we?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

"Yes" he shrugged.

"What did you do this time?" she asked.

"He was back chatting me weren't you Mr Potter?" Mr Fitzgerald's voice hissed. Harry looked over his shoulder and saw Mr Fitzgerald coming out of the classroom and pulling the door shut behind him.

"Yes" Harry replied.

"And he hasn't done any work have you?" Mr Fitzgerald seethed, his eyes glowing with anger and hatred. Harry glared at him. "Stop giving me that filthy look boy"

"My name is Harry not boy!" Harry snapped loudly. Both Mr Fitzgerald and Mrs Hanscombe looked stunned at this reaction. "Don't call me that!"

"Don't snap at me!" Mr Fitzgerald growled.

"Don't call me boy!" Harry spat furiously. He went home and was addressed by that exact name. Every time he heard it directed at him it reminded him of his Uncle and the beatings he went home to each day. "I don't like it"

"I don't like it when you backchat me!" Mr Fitzgerald fumed "But you still do it don't you?"

"Yes" he said mindlessly, trying not to smirk.

"I've had it up to here with you" Mr Fitzgerald gestured above his head with his left hand. "You have become a disrespectful little boy. You do not backchat me like that do you understand?" Harry shrugged. "You do the work I set you when you're told and not sit about twiddling your thumbs doing absolutely nothing"

"I wasn't doing nothing sir" Harry replied.

"No you were drawing doodles in your book again!" Mr Fitzgerald smouldered showing Harry the book. "How many times have I told you off for drawing these psychotic doodles?"

"Many, many times" Harry smirked. "I want to draw them"

"Not in my class" Mr Fitzgerald spat "If I see these one more time I will have you personally removed from my class and you will probably fail all your maths exams"

"So what? I don't care" Harry retorted looking down at the floor.

"You're an ungrateful piece of work" Mr Fitzgerald sneered. Harry suddenly heard his Uncle's voice, calling him ungrateful and he stared angrily at the floor. Anger burning through his body life wildfire. "I've tried to help you and all you've done is throw it back in my face. You carry on and I'll see that you're expelled from this school"

"Good" Harry shrugged angrily "I don't want to be here. I never wanted to come to this school. My Uncle made me come here. I wish I wasn't here. So go ahead, have me expelled. It'll put an end to my life but that'll be good. I won't have to feel this anymore!"

Mrs Hanscombe watched Harry uncomfortably. "Harry are you being bullied?" she asked.

"He's a pain in the arse and bullying is no reason for the behaviour he's been exhibiting in my classes in the last few weeks!" Mr Fitzgerald snarled. "He's just a plain old troublemaker!"

"No I'm not being bullied" Harry replied. There was the odd comment here and there about his scar and about his noticeably declining weight. But nothing he would consider bullying. Not like the bullying he got at home, from his own family. "I'm just making trouble"

"See" Mr Fitzgerald hissed "I'm taking these doodles to the head and he can decide what to do about them. As for you, you're in after school detention for the rest of the week"

"Yes sir" he nodded.

"Get back in there and sit down and behave yourself or else boy" Mr Fitzgerald said trying to be calm. Harry shrugged and sloped back inside. Mr Fitzgerald came back inside a few minutes later and gave him his book back, the pages he'd doodled on had been ripped out. "What's wrong with you?" Gabrielle asked. "Why did you that?"

"I don't know" he replied. "I wasn't thinking"

That lunchtime he grabbed some food from the canteen, well all he could afford to buy was a cereal bar so Gabrielle chipped in. "I'll get you a sandwich" she said.

"I don't want one Gabrielle" he replied. "I'm not that hungry"

"You'll fall asleep again" she stated concernedly "Or pass out. I don't know how you don't pass out most days. You never eat anything"

"I eat at home" he shrugged.

"Really?" Gabrielle raised her eyebrow. "I'm getting you a sandwich. What would you like? Ham and cheese, cheese salad, chicken salad?"

"Anything" he sighed. He hadn't eaten since Thursday and he was starving. He'd spent the whole weekend locked in his room as punishment for all the detentions he'd received. He hadn't been given any food, just water. By now it was Tuesday and he was running on empty. She got him a chicken salad sandwich and he managed to eat the whole thing, given that he was absolutely starving and then demolished the cereal bar. "See you were hungry" Gabrielle smiled.

"Ok so I was" he rolled his eyes "Thanks. I'll pay you back."

"Don't bother. I don't care about the money. I just didn't want to see you starve" she replied softly. "You are my brother and I don't want to see you make yourself ill"

He smiled at her then sighed heavily. She'd bought him food and he was incredibly grateful for that but she wouldn't do it forever and he was running out of money fast. He only had a few muggle pounds left. He wasn't allowed in the kitchen and there were padlocks on all the doors to prevent him taking food and he wasn't allowed to make himself a packed lunch to take with him. He wasn't sure how he'd survive when he ran out of money.

That afternoon he had English with Mrs Hanscombe as his final lesson of the day. But by now he was feeling tired and incredibly nauseous. As the lesson progressed his nausea grew worse and he felt like he was about to pass out. "Mrs Hanscombe I feel sick" he said raising his hand.

"You've been trouble already today." She sighed "I'm not falling for it"

"I swear I'm not lying" he pleaded.

"Be quiet" she replied. Harry screwed up a piece of paper and flung it at the board in frustration. "Harry Potter I saw that!"

"It wasn't me" he shrugged feeling vomit rising up his throat. "I'm going to be sick"

"Be quiet and get on with your work" she said firmly. So he attempted the work but his head was spinning and his guts were doing violent summersaults.

A few minutes later she started talking to the class and asking questions. Harry put his hand up, but not to answer the question. "Yes Harry"

"Can I go to the toilet?" he asked.

"No" she shook her head. Suddenly vomit surged up this throat. He rose from his chair, ran from the classroom and bolted to the boy's toilet. He shut himself in a cubicle, bent over the bowl and started hurling.

A few minutes later he returned to his classroom. "How dare you run out of my classroom?" Mrs Hanscombe snapped.

"I had to vomit" he replied weakly. She looked at him and her expression deepened.

"Were you sick?" she asked.

"Violently" he looked down, his stomach doing flips. He wanted to be sick again. He ran over to the bin and vomited into it. Afterwards he took a few steps before he stumbled and fell to the floor leaving him sat in a heap on the floor. Mrs Hanscombe got two boys to stand him up and take him to the nurses' office. She went down there, by now the nurse had given him a bowl to vomit in and was assessing him. "He needs to go to hospital" she announced.

"He's not that ill surely?" Mrs Hanscombe asked.

"Yes I believe he is" the nurse replied. "He's white as sheet, he's been sick numerous times and he collapsed. He needs to see a doctor now"

"I'll take him" Mrs Hanscombe replied. She went off for a few minutes then came back with his bag and her own. She and the nurse escorted him to her car and put him in the back. She drove him to the nearest hospital and checked him in. He was taken through relatively quickly. The doctor asked him how he felt and he explained it to him. Then he ran a number of tests before returning. "No wonder you were sick"

"Why?" Harry asked.

"You're suffering from refeeding syndrome" the doctor replied.

"What's that?" Harry frowned.

"It happens after you eat after not eating for a period of more than four days." The doctor explained. "It can be fatal"

Harry stared at him and felt sick. Was this because his aunt and Uncle had been starving him?

The following day he returned to school. Some of the boys in his second period English lesson started asking him about him being sick. They were doing a role play and he'd been put with these boys. The comments got nasty and the boys found it hilarious. Harry lost his temper. "Been starving yourself have you?" one laughed "You must secretly be a girl because only girls do that"

"You're like a skeleton as it is" another smirked. "Go eat some food"

Harry turned to the boy and punched him in the face as hard as he possibly could. The boy clutched his nose for a few seconds before punching him back. Harry punched him again and the two boys started a proper fight in the middle of the corridor. Shoving each other and punching each other. Mrs Hanscombe came running out of her classroom and over to them as another teacher came over to break up the fight. She grabbed Harry while the other teacher grabbed the other boy whose name was Cain and yanked them apart. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Mrs Hanscombe demanded.

"Harry started it!" Cain exclaimed.

"Did you?" she asked Harry.

"Yes but, only because he was making jokes about my weight!" Harry snapped.

"Right that's it. I've had it with you" Mrs Hanscombe seethed. "Cain and Steven get back to work. Harry you're coming with me right now"

She led him to heads office and made him wait outside while she went in. She came out a few minutes later. "Mr DeGarry wants to speak to you. Go in there"

He went into the heads office and Mr DeGarry looked livid. "Sit down" he said angrily. Harry gulped and slid into the seat opposite Mr DeGarry "Sit up straight young man. We're going to have a serious talk about your behaviour"

Harry straightened up in the chair and looked at Mr DeGarry. He was going to be in so much trouble. "Mrs Hanscombe has just informed me you started a fight with Cain Brentwood in the middle of the corridor" Mr DeGarry began, his tone calming ever so slightly. "What possessed you do that young man?"

"He and Steven were making comments about me being sick yesterday" Harry replied "Steven said I was starving myself and that I must secretly be a girl because only girls starve themselves. Then Cain told me I look like a skeleton and to eat some food. So I punched him in the face as hard as I could. He was asking for it."

"I do not tolerate violence in my school do you understand" Mr DeGarry stated firmly. "I will not exclude you on the condition that you spend tomorrow and Friday in my office as an internal exclusion."

"Yes sir" Harry nodded.

"Now this one of a dozen incidents this week" said Mr DeGarry "Mr Fitzgerald informed me of your disrespectful and downright unacceptable behaviour in his class yesterday. I fail to see what he has done to you to make you so disrespectful towards him."

"He calls me boy" Harry looked down. "I don't like it… it reminds me of my Uncle Sir. He calls me boy when he's angry and well most of the time when he's not angry. He doesn't use my name"

"Your Uncle?" Mr DeGarry frowned "The man I'm sure you're referencing in your highly troubling doodles. Which we will get on to. Now Mr Fitzgerald is a strict teacher and wants to give his students the best opportunity to pass their exams and he does not want you continually disrupting his classes. If you continue he will have you removed from his class whether I like it or not. I would prefer to keep you there as from what I have seen you have made progress in that class. So behave and you will stay put"

"Yes sir" he nodded.

"Mrs Hanscombe told me that yesterday you threw a scrunched up piece of paper at her when she refused to let you go to the toilet" said Mr DeGarry "Then you ran out of her classroom"

"I was going to be sick" Harry replied "I was sick."

"I know that" Mr DeGarry informed him "You collapsed in her class. I don't know why but she knows it was not an act. However I must ask if you deliberately withheld food to make yourself sick"

"I ate yesterday" Harry replied "I had lunch. It made me sick. It was not the first time eating has made me sick sir."

"Not the first time?" Mr DeGarry asked. "You mean this has happened before?"

"Yes" Harry nodded "Once or twice."

"Right" Mr DeGarry looked troubled. "Anyway I will not tolerate you throwing paper at teachers or running out of class. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir" Harry nodded.

"Now there have been other incidents this week and dozens over the last couple of weeks. And you are pushing my buttons. If you carry I will have no choice but to expel you from this school" said Mr DeGarry

"I don't want to be expelled" Harry gulped. If he was expelled Uncle Vernon would probably kill him outright.

"Yesterday you told Mr Fitzgerald you didn't care if you were expelled" Mr DeGarry frowned "Now if you don't want to be expelled I want to know why you suddenly decided to become a disruptive troublemaker"

"I have a sister" Harry replied "And I only just found she's my sister. She told me six weeks ago and my aunt and Uncle knew. They've always known. They just couldn't be bothered to tell me."

"That would fit with the timescale of your behaviour becoming downright appalling" Mr DeGarry said. "Does she go to school here? Perhaps we can see if she can get you to behave"

"Yes. How do you think I met her?" Harry responded "Gabrielle Summers is my twin sister. She's known for a while but she only decided to tell me last month. How else was I supposed to react to that bombshell?"

"I don't know" Mr DeGarry admitted "But you do not take it out on my staff. Now these doodles. We need to talk about them. They are highly worrying and some of your teachers are highly concerned about what has caused you to draw them. I have shown them to the school counsellor and she recommends we have you sent to a psychologist or a psychiatrist because believes they are highly disturbing"

"I don't understand" said Harry "I only draw them because it's how I feel"

"I don't understand how you feel or what you feel that makes you want to draw scenes of a man being tortured" replied Mr DeGarry showing him a drawing depicting him being whipped with a belt. He'd forgotten about that one. "Or this one" he held up another drawing. This one depicting him stabbing Uncle Vernon in the face with his wand. "I find this troubling. And there are all the scrawled messages of hate, wishing death to someone for example. I do not want to see any more of these do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes sir" he nodded.

"If I see one more of these on my desk I will have you expelled" Mr DeGarry said firmly. Harry nodded again. "Go and sit outside. You'll spend the rest of the week there"

Harry sighed and went to sit outside his office. Where he remained for the rest of the day. It was lonely but it was punishment and he'd asked for it by starting a fight.

The following day he was sat outside the heads office. Mid-morning Mr Fitzgerald, Mr Pryke and Mrs Hanscombe turned up for a meeting with Mr DeGarry. He could hear what they were saying. They were talking about him. "He's a trouble maker" said Mr Fitzgerald.

"I don't think he's a troublemaker as such" said Mrs Hanscombe "He was a model pupil when he started him, well behaved, did what he was told and so forth. I think he's acting out. I think he wants the attention"

"You don't say" Mr Fitzgerald sneered slightly "That boy's become the biggest attention seeker in year eleven. He's driving me mad. He backchats me, doesn't do what he's told and disrespects me every single lesson. I want him out of my class because I'm done with his attention seeking behaviour"

"We'll take baby steps with Harry" said Mr DeGarry "I don't think kicking him out of your class will help him at all. I think it will make him worse. He needs firm discipline"

"He's been in every detention going, been excluded and internally excluded. The next step would be expulsion but I doubt that will do him any good" said Mr Pryke "Harry seems to be a very troubled child. This acting out is deliberate and self-destructive"

"I've met children who attention seek on purpose in the past but his need for attention is pathological." Said Mrs Hanscombe "He's so desperate for attention he'd do anything to get it. But I don't know what would cause it"

"The way I see it is he just wants to be in school" said Mr Fitzgerald. "After school. He'd rather be in detention than at home is the only thing I can think of"

"I think Harry might be being abused at home or at least being neglected" said Mrs Hanscombe "It's the way he's so desperate for attention. It seems to me he wants it here because no one will pay him any once he gets home."

"Do you have any evidence for this?" asked Mr DeGarry.

"When he had to go to hospital the doctor diagnosed him with refeeding syndrome" replied Mrs Hanscombe "Caused by eating after not eating after a period of more than four days. He is noticeably underweight for his height and his age. And he is always covered in bruises. He once had red marks around his neck, like someone had tried to strangle him. He said he got his tie caught and ended up strangling himself but I think that was a lie. I think there's a good possibility he's being abused at home. It would explain why he would rather stay here in detention. On Tuesday he was sent out by Mr Fitzgerald and he said he didn't care if he was expelled, that he never wanted to come here. He said it would probably end his life but that was ok. He said he wouldn't have to feel this anymore but he didn't say what this was."

"Yes he did" said Mr Fitzgerald.

"I'll ask him about it" said Mr DeGarry. "Hang on a moment… he drew this in one of his classes last week. It depicts someone being whipped. I wonder if the person being whipped is supposed to be him?"

A few seconds later the door opened and Mr Pryke gestured for Harry to come inside. He sat down and looked around awkwardly. Mr DeGarry asked him about the suspected abuse. "Are you being abused at home?"

"No of course not" Harry lied. "Why would you think that?"

"The way you behave" said Mrs Hanscombe "You have a pathological need for attention which suggests you do not get any once you've left this building. Do you get any attention at home?"

"Yes" he replied "Some… I don't understand"

"Do your aunt and Uncle, talk to you when you get home, ask you how you get on at school?" asked Mrs Hanscombe "Do they help you with your homework or talk you about how you feel?"

Harry blinked at them. They did none of those things. The only time Uncle Vernon really spoke to him was when he was barking orders at him or berating him for getting into trouble or for no reason whatsoever. "Not really"

"How long has it been like this?" Mr DeGarry enquired.

"Ever since I can remember" Harry replied.

"Have you ever been starved for a period of time?" Mr Pryke asked. "Because refeeding syndrome, which hospitalised you on Tuesday, occurs after a period of starvation"

"No" Harry lied.

"Harry we can help you" Mr DeGarry responded. "But we need you to tell us the truth. If things are bad at home we can arrange a meeting with your aunt and Uncle"

Harry's eyes widened. That would make things ten times worse. Because the moment they got home Uncle Vernon would take his belt and beat him with it. "We don't like each other that's all"

"The understanding that they don't pay you any attention suggests it's more one sided than you want to admit" said Mrs Hanscombe "Look Harry you're very underweight for your height and for your age, which only suggests someone has been starving you or you've been starving yourself. So what's been going on at home? Because it's more than you hating each other isn't it?"

"They just don't like me that's all" said Harry "They're strict and they always feel they need to punish me"

"Have you ever been beaten?" Mr DeGarry asked. "Harry tell us the truth"

"No I've never been beaten" Harry lied. He couldn't face the beating that was coming from this conversation.

"Is this you?" Mr DeGarry asked holding the doodle which depicted him being whipped. Harry stared at it, remembering all the times he had been whipped. "Harry is this meant to be you?"

"No" he replied "It was just a random doodle that came into my head. I don't know why I drew it sir"

They were not convinced and Mr DeGarry had a meeting with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon after school the following day. When they got home Uncle Vernon lost it with him. "WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM BOY?!"

"Nothing. I didn't tell him anything!" Harry replied.

But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. But instead of being him he threw him in his room and bolted the door shut so he couldn't escape.