I Get Partially Digested
Disclaimer: Percy belongs to Rick Riordan
When half-bloods train, they train against each other or against wooden dummies. I was not training against any form of the living. I was fighting against the dead. Hades's brilliant plan was to let me train in the underworld. That way I had 1039 hours before the summer ended. Made sense but unfortunately, this meant I was in Hades's realm. And in his realm the dead walked, monsters roamed free and screams of the damned could always be heard. All of them answered to one Lord: Lord Hades. And as such, I had limitless enemies. Back to my life!
I was standing in the underworld. It was actually beautifull, with lush fields and incredible plants. The Gardens of Persperphone. Less sightly was the skeleton army Hades had gathered.
"Now Perseus, I need you to pay attention. You are in my realm and you cannot die. You will now be facing a small army of skeletons," announced Hades. He snapped his fingers and they attacked. I defeated them easily and Hades smiled encouragingly.
"Lord Hades, I have a question," I said. "How can the skeletons see without eyes?"
Hades looked startled for a second. "How can you walk around without a brain? There are some things none of us can answer."
Okay, that wasn't exactly satisfying.
"Now Perseus, your skills are on a competent level. It's time to meet your trainers."
I stared and saw a man aproach. A man with white hair and storm gray eyes. "Greetings, Percy. I am known as Perseus too, seeing as that is my name."
Finally it made sense. It was more than the time difference. Hades could summon any hero he wanted to train me.
I soon had a large collection of heroes to train me. Perseus and Achilles came. Strangely, he didn't look the same when he was in Troy. My next trainers were famous: Napoleon who was a son of Hades; General S. Patton who was a son of Zeus; and Horatio Nelson who was also a son of Posedion. He had my eyes and basic build. He and Perseus came to me first.
"Perseus and Achilles' will instruct you in the art of sword fighting," said Horatio.
"Patton and Napoleon will teach you the art of conquest," said Perseus. "And I shall teach you how to fully grasp your powers."
Achille's and Perseus got the first turn. They demonstrated moves and had me copy them. I was able to hold my own against Perseus, but I suppose he wasn't really trying. Achilles was unreal. He moved with speed and grace unlike anything I had ever seen. He calmly showed me different styles of fighting and how I should try to fight Luke.
"Boy..." he began in a gruff voice. "We watched your last match with him and he wiped the floor with you. Even with a shield he wil probably be victorious. The only time you could match him was when you used your powers over water. So the latter part of your training will be partaken close to the River Styx."
Okay, I get to douse my enemies with polluted water.
"Percy, do not be dishearten," said Perseus in his calm voice. "I have decided you are most suited for the two swords technique. I used a sword and a sickle, but each has their own use of technique. Now, resume your training with Napoleon and Patton."
War training was...odd. I suspect it was because one of my teacher's tried to teach me morals, while my other teacher tried to explain that sacrifices must be made so that goals could be achieved. Of course, their methods of warfare was somewhat strange. I knew I would be fighting with monsters, but apparently these guys had always been fighting that way. Cher Ami the famous pigeon was actually a monstrous griffin that was used as a messanger. The griffin did indeed deliver the message, but had first attempted to rip as many soldiers to shreds as he could. As for Napoleon, he liked to use Hellhounds as horses. The destruction they caused was legendary. However, at the Battle of Waterloo, there was a brave attack by some British children of Athena, as they managed to kill them before they could reach the battlegrounds.
"Now Percy, it's important that you understand one thing: All monsters will try to rip you to shreds. The monsters gladly fought for us since we gave them the only thing they wanted. Slaughter. And Kronos is offering them far more than you. The only beasts that you can get to stand with you so far are the Cyclopses, Centaurs and the Maenads."
"What are Maenads?" I asked. Patton sighed.
"Boy, the Maenads are the women of the cult of Dionysos. They are always drunk and nowhere near as pleasent." He snorted slightly. "Dionysus was not the most pleasant god or person. The only way they could be less pleasant was if they were insane." Patton seemed to read my mind. "Don't worry, Percy, the Maenads aren't insane. They are just permanently drunk and fond of ripping people to shreds with their bare hands." Great. I had no reason to worry.
Napoleon and Patton then sat down.
"Percy, a hero is not just a great fighter. He knows when to make his move and are prone to horrible deaths. Napoleon, for instance, lost the battle of Water Loo due to a violent diahrea attack," said Patton.
"It was the children of Demeter. They did something with my food," growled Napoleon.
"Yes, in any case you must learn the arts of dimoplicy, reasoning and betrayal. Diplomicy will teach you how to get the warriors you need, reasoning will allow you to keep them. We won't teach you too much about dimoplicy since there is only one group of monsters who would consider joining you. The Maenads," said Patton.
"The secret is simple," said Napoleon. "Give them what they want or say you will. Remember Percy, you put a monster on a field and you gain a expandble troop. Put a want-to-fight in their non-existent hearts and you win a warrior. The Maenads only want one thing: Wine. Give it to them and they will fight for you. Now go to Horatio. You will find his lesson interesting."
It was funny in the underworld. You couldn't get hungry, tired or feel any sort of pain. Hades had done something so that I was like the other dead. However when he wanted to, Hades can restore live and stop death. That's why the fields of punisment is so bad. You starve but not to death. You can take unsurpassable agony and not pass out. In short Hades cursed the people the way the people in Pirates of the Carribean were cursed. That's why it's never wise to cross Hades. And that's why Zeus turned Thalia into a pine tree. When a hero dies who crossed Hades, his parent usually turns him into something to keep them from the Underworld. As I approached Horatio, I suddenly shuddered. I didn't want to know what Luke's punishment would be.
I was kind of excited to meet Lord Nelson. He died defying Hades but my dad got him a place worthy of a hero.
"Hello Percy," he said softly. "And before you jump to conclusions, I only kissed one man." He was now nervously stroking his clothes. "See, I wanted to go like a Hero and the line 'Kiss me Hardy is now quite famous and-"
I cut him off. "Now it was definitly the way I would have wanted to go. Kissed by my best friend. Of course, my best friend is a hot blond girl."
Horatio bowed. "You have the trademark of sarcasm. You are a true son of Posideon." Oh damn. " Anyway, Percy, what is your father the god of?"
"My father is the god of the Sea, Earthquakes and Horses." Horatio nodded his head.
"And your powers are?"
"Uh... I can control the sea and talk to horses?"
Horatio smiled again. "Honestly, how do they expected you to know this? You have two-thirds of your major powers. Can you guess what the third is?"
I suddenly got excited. "I can cause earthquakes?"
"Quite correct, Perseus," said Horation. "Weak ones but they will throw your enemy off balance."
"But how do I do it?"
"The same thing as with the sea. You will the ground to shake. Why did you think your friend Annabeth accused the sons of Poseidon to rip buildings down?" He asked.
"Wait, how to you know that?"
"We've been watching you, Percy, not when you shower or anything - but we have been watching you." After a long time of causing minor earthquakes he spoke again. "Now your training with me is complete. You must now defeat Perseus and Achilles' to progress."
Defeat two heroes who wiped the floor with me. It seemed unfair but I could now make the floor move.
Achilles stood ready at the bank of the river Styx with a short sword and shield. Perseus sword was longer and he also had a sickle. And Hades. Hades was standing there, with a very long silver sword. He took a long, careful look at me and the sword shrunk to a better length.
"Perseus has informed me you are to train with two swords. Well, this will be your other sword. It is known as the blade of death, or Timmy."
"You called the sword of death Timmy?" I asked.
"Yes, but that is not important. The sword is made of a combination of silver and celestial Bronze," explained Hades.
"Wait, you mean this sword is like backbiter? Deadly to mortals and immortals?" I asked.
"No, Percy, this sword will go right through mortals."
I relaxed slightly.
"Unfortunately if they try to touch the sword, they will die instantly."
"Why the hell do you need a sword that can do that?" I asked.
"Well, it's great for empting seats in the movie theater, getting rid of annoying relatives, doing your laundry...but enough. Take the sword and begin your training."
I put the silver sword in my right hand and Riptide in my left. Fighting with two swords gave you far less power but excellent defence. Achille's ran towards me, swinging the sword in a half circle. I called a wave from the River's Styx and pushed him back. Then I shook the ground, making it impossible for him to get up. I ran forwards, jumped and knocked his shield away with Riptide. I used Timmy to block his short sword and placed Riptide on his neck. Perseus was more difficult, but he couldn't really defend his left side with his sickle. I actually pushed him into the River in the end.
Hades grinned. "And now Perseus, face the strongest hellhound ever. The father of all other Hellhounds. Meet Levtrinna!" Suddenly a giant hellhound the size of a two story house came and swallowed me whole. Really.
"Hades, are sure that was completely neccesery?" asked Perseus.
"Is it neccesery that I wear the souls of people as clothes?" asked Hades.
"I honestly don't know," said Perseus, clearly disgusted.
"Well, I do it anyway due to my commitment to my job and the faint, but highly enjoyable tickling sensation it gives."
I didn't hear anything of that since I was inside a monsters stomach. Why the hell did I have to get attacked by something this big? The could have at least warned me.
"Percy, this plays a great role in what is to come," said someone.
"Wait, where are you?" I asked.
"On the floor," came the answer.
I felt around on the floor and found something that really wanted to make me vomit.
"Hello Percy. My name is Jeff and I'm here to help you," said the head. A severed human head.
"Why the hell am I touching you?" I asked him.
"That is not important. Perseus, you were being watched by Zeus. He doesn't think you are worthy so he will try everything possible to kill you. He is watching, always. However he can not see inside a monster and as such Hades slashed my head off and threw it in this beast's stomach so that I can explain a few things to you. We have litttle time. First, Zeus had already started training Thalia. He will, if we are correct, try to kill you when you are at school. He will send monsters to pose as teachers in your school. He will also try to shoot lightning at you, so stay inside during thunderstorms. If worst comes to worst he will try to stick nails in your eyes."
"Right. So what do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Befriend Thalia. He won't send to many monsters to kill you if there is a chance she will be hurt. Hades has suggested that you become more than friends," said Jeff.
"Uh... may I ask why?"
"Simple. A hero is a god's last resort. He will eventually send her to kill you. We will prefer to avoid that kind of thing.
"Question. Isn't that weird? I mean, we're like siblings."
"Well, yeah, but things are different in immortal families. It's not like I asked you to go out with Michael Jackson or anything." said Jeff.
"I'm not related to Michael Jackson!" I yelled.
"Now that's even beter!" said Jeff. "Of course with your dark hair and gorgeous eyes he will probably..."
"Let me get this straight. A corpseless head is flirting with me?" I asked.
"You say that like it's a bad thing," said Jeff, licking his lips.
"Ah, I'm beginning to feel really hot," I breathed.
"I knew you were into me," said Jeff.
"No you moron, I'm mean my legs feel like they're on fire!" I said.
"Uh, that will be the stomach acids begining to digest you," explained Jeff, looking dissapointed. "You will have to go. Cut your way out through the soft underbelly. Zeus is probably getting suspicious."
I started killing the hellhound softly with my sword. "Right. Thanks for the info. I'm now ready for my heady adventuring." I jumped out before Jeff let out a groan.
After that I learned how to focus my powers with Horatio, various tactical skills from Patton and Napoleon, and continued sparring and doing fisical excercises with Achilles's and Perseus.
"Your training for this summer is now complete," declared Hades. My tutors bowed slightly.
"These heroes have agreed that we stand a chance in this fight." Perseus came forward. "You will be a great hero, Percy. And hopefully you will live happily. Remember to go by what you believe in not what others do. This is your quest. Your life. Go make us proud."
I waved back to them as Hades led me back to the surface world.
When I stepped into the boundries of Camp Half-Blood, Annabeth came and hugged me.
"Are you okay? Do you even know how long you've been gone?" She always rushed her words when she was nervous.
"I'm fine. Don't worry."
Annabeth put her head on my shoulder while Thalia watched us both. "Percy, this is the last day of camp. We are going to eat and then leave." Annabeth smiled weakly at me.
"Well, let's go. I'll tell you what happened."
Lunch was fun. All the other campers seemed shocked by my appearence and I had no idea why. Of course, I was used to the whole "Gah! You're incredibly ugly!" treatment.
"Annabeth, do I look different?" I asked.
Annabeth blushed slightly, and Thalia answered. "You look good. Really good. What did you do in the underworld?"
Annabeth laughed slightly. "Percy, you look different. It's kinda hard to explain. You just...do."
"Must be all the dead. Of course,it did wonders for my complexion, I said.
"So what exactly did you do?" asked Annabeth.
I briefly explained all the the things I did. Annabeth and Thalia seemed shocked when I mentioned I was eaten by a giant hellhound. I didn't dare tell them about Jeff. I did however, try to subtely tell how I achieved my goals. I smiled at Thalia. "Thalia, were you and Luke more than friends?"
Thalia stiffened slightly at the mentioning of Luke's name, but seemed otherwise fine. "No. Just good friends. Why do you want to know?"
Okay, this could go better. "I have achieved great things," I said in my most serious voice. "And now I'm busy with my evil plan to get you to fall for me!"
Thalia laughed and Annabeth suddenly stared at me.
"So that's your best pick up line?" asked Thatlia.
"No actually, my best pick up line is, you're like a spanner, because when I think of you my nuts go tight."
Thalia started laughing again while Annabeth looked more worried. I smiled happily. I didn't mind my mission. I kinda liked Thalia.
Shortly afterwards we left and went to our homes. My mom was her usual worried self. Note. Never tell your mom you spend over 1000 hours training with the dead and massive monsters. They tend to fuss a little. She also found me a new school. It was a school for the crimminally insane A.K.A me.
The next day, I went to my new school.
I was sitting in attendance, waiting patiently for the signs of the evil teachers who are out for my blood. They will probably be like Ms. Dodds, I reasoned. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
"Hello, class," said a perky woman in her late twenties. "I'm Ms. Harper, but you can call me Ms. Harpy." She said that smiling and fixing me with an ice cold glare. Great. An evil monster who wants to eat me disguised as an ultra nice woman.
"Ah! She touching my special area!" yelled a boy in the back row. What the hell did I get myself into?