The song for this chapter is Rachel Sermanni - breathe easy

BARRY'S POV:

A month later.

As a soccer player, running was always apart of the job. Like most I found it therapeutic. Running from your problems always seemed like the best option, deal with them later and forget about them at the moment. Having this speed, it didn't make running away any easier. I just became better at it.

Linda and I were back on good terms. She dropped her jealousy issues with Iris, but that was more because of Iris avoiding me at all costs. Her Honda was out of the shop and there really wasn't any reason for her to speak to me. After the argument last week I wanted to talk to her more, just apologize about everything, but there was nothing I could do. If she didn't want to talk I couldn't make her. Joe was a cop after all. Seeing her in the halls ignoring me like we hadn't started to rekindle our friendship stung. I could tell it was eating at her, too.

Cisco and I had a few hiccups with the suit malfunctioning. I caught on fire a few times, but lucky for me my cells regenerated quicker than normal. He insisted that we reconsider Wells' offer and I could tell it was driving a wedge between us.

Then there was the police force, they wanted me to surrender and Iris was right, I couldn't do that. How would I sleep at night knowing there was something I could do to help people? So we kept at it. It was either move forward or become a victim. This night wasn't any different.

I came to a sudden stop as Cisco spoke in my ear. My breath came heavily in front of me in a cloud as I took in the scene before me.

"Help me!" A man cried, hanging from the side of a building.

"Cisco, there's a window washer and he's going to fall.."

"Don't try and catch him, you don't have super strength.

"Well, is there like a mattress store around here? What if I get a bunch and stack them?"

He chuckled. "Barry, this isn't a Road Runner cartoon."

"Help!"

I sighed. "How fast do I need to run to go up the side of a building?"

"Depends on how far up you need to go."

I backed up to try and get a better estimate. "About fifty meters."

The man screamed again. He didn't have much time left before that wire broke. I had to save him.

"Hurry!" I told him.

"Okay, just run really fast and you should be fine."

"Okay."

"Barry, wait!" He yelled in my ear. "You have to keep a consistent velocity on the way down or else you'll look like something squashed by an anvil."

My heart raced in my chest. Great. Here goes nothing.

I ran up the side of the building and caught the man before the cable broke and the scaffold tumbled down behind us. The scaffold fell with a loud clunk on the pavement as I set the man down.

Before me stood Iris with wide eyes and a proud grin touching her lips. I vibrated my face so she wouldn't recognize me. I'd never seen her look at me like that. But she wasn't looking at me like that. What was she doing here? "Don't give up." She told me.

I couldn't if I wanted to. Hearing it from her put me back into reality. I raced out of there before the sirens were in visual distance.

IRIS' POV:

I saw him for the first time in almost two weeks. He was right in front of me, saving a man from falling to his death.

"Iris,"

I turned to see my dad. Shit.

"What are you doing here? Please tell me this isn't about the streak?"

My brain clammed up and the only thing I could think of was, "I came to get some...graham crackers."

His brows rose. "You came all the way downtown for some crackers when we have them at the house?"

My lips pursed as my hands slid down my jeans. "I, uh, ate them all. My period, you know, makes me crave crackers." I bit my lower lip, praying he'd buy that. Whenever I brought up my period he'd pull away from the subject. I kind of felt guilty using it as a weapon. When mom died he had to be there for me the best he could. I didn't have anyone else telling me what a period was or how to put on makeup. I was kind of late in the game to that.

The thing I was good at was school. You do the work, you get the grades. And that made my dad proud to call me his daughter.

"Okay, well, do you need anything?" He asked awkwardly.

I shook my head, ashamed I just flat out lied to my dad. "No, I should be okay."

He motioned for me to move away from the scene as the paramedics wrapped the man in blankets and wheeled him away. "So this isn't about your anonymous blog?"

My head snapped towards him. "How do you know about that? I didn't tell anyone about that."

He tilted his head to the side. "I'm your father, I'm supposed to know the things you don't want me to." He glanced around. "So I need to know what's your obsession with this streak guy?"

"Dad, he's saving people's lives with super speed. How cool is that?"

"It's not his responsibility, honey."

My eyes rolled as annoyance rose. "If he hadn't, that man would be dead. And so many others. Why can't you believe in him the way I do? He's a good guy."

His eyes assessed me with a shake of his head. "You have a crush on him, don't you?" He angrily whispered.

I balked. "What? No!" Kind of.

He gave me a look. "Okay, young lady. Get your graham crackers and get yourself home. You have school in the morning." He kissed my forehead.

I sagged. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

BARRY'S POV:

I didn't stop running until I made it to Cisco's basement, my lungs on fire.

"Dude, what's wrong?" He asked as he swiveled around in his chair.

Tired, I collapsed on his comfy old jean couch. "I saw Iris."

He shook his head. "I thought you were avoiding here. Or The Streak was avoiding her."

My arms covered my face as I tried to relax. "I was. She's safer that way."

"Well...not for long."

I turned to look at him. "What do you mean not for long?"

He gave a nervous chuckle as he turned the monitor towards me. "So what I didn't tell you was that Iris made a forum a few weeks ago."

Confused, I rose to look at the proof myself. "No, way." This site looked a little high tech for a forum though.

"Way. What you're looking at now is her blog The Streak Lives."

I touched the screen, scrolling through the many posts about me. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't sure if it was her or not, so I started tracking her online movement. When I knew it was her for sure I didn't think you needed another thing to worry about."

With a sigh I headed for the door. "I'm going to call it a night."

"Barry?"

"Yeah, Cisco?" I asked irritated.

He looked hesitant. "Nothing, see you later."

I flashed out of there with another thing to worry about, wishing Cisco had told me sooner. With a month of not speaking between us I had no idea that Iris was that adamant about people knowing that I was doing good.

A long hot shower would do me good. And it did. When I got out I had an almost clear mind and a low stress level. I pulled on my sweatpants. With the open window blowing nippy air in I realized I forgot my tshirt. Iris' open window caught my attention as I grabbed a shirt, pulling it over my head while I neared my window.

She appeared. Her long dark hair flowed up from the brisk wind. Her mocha skin glowed. I wished I could just go over there, touch her, make her feel how she made me feel. But I had Linda and Iris didn't want me in any form. Our eyes locked and after a long moment as if to prove my point, she slammed her window shut and closed the curtains.

My forehead hit the sill in aggravation. At least I knew she didn't think I was the streak. Even her thinking that put her in danger. Maybe I needed to back off of helping people for a while, let the tension in the city die down, let Iris put this behind her.

IRIS' POV:

Baking was one of my favorite past times and although big hips ran in the black girl genes, I wasn't lucky enough to have the fat spread their. I really needed to workout. My hand ran over it, feeling the slight bulge. I chewed the freshly made brownies. My mind drifted back in time.

"Barry, this time pour the chocolate in the pan." I told him.

Both of us were covered in flour and chocolate along with the counter and floor. My dad would kill us if he happened to wake up from his nap early. Long ago we timed it, letting us go into our own world for that short hour and a half give or take.

He poured it all in the bowl, some of it make a cloud in the air. We shooed it away with our hands.

"Now add the milk." I instructed.

He looked at me with narrow eyes and a grin. "I have an idea, Flower. It'll take our brownies to the next level."

"What, Barry?"

He rushed to the fridge and brought back chocolate milk.

My eyes widened. "We can't. It's my dad's. He'll kill us."

A grin took over his face. "I won't tell if you won't."

I realized it was now or never. This may be our only shot at improving our brownie quality. We could die today or tomorrow and always wonder in heaven what if we added chocolate milk to our brownies. I'm assuming up there we can't make them. So really all we had was now.

I nodded at him. "Let's do it."

"This'll go down in history!" He grinned excitedly.

My eyes rolled. "Our future's already been written, Bear. We're a shoo-in for the nobel prize."

I rushed to the bathroom, feeling the acidic bile rise in my throat. I made it in time to the toilet to let it all out safely. When I was all done tears sprung to my eyes as I rested my forehead on the cold lip of the toilet.

"What is wrong with me?" I whispered.

I tried to stand, but more acid rose. Tears ran down my face. I just wanted it to be over.

After I got myself together I made my way to my bedroom. I'd clean up the mess in the morning, I just had to lay down. My bed caught my fall as I dropped on to it. My eyes drifted closed as I relaxed. Then I felt it. The brisk fall air blown through my open window. With a groan I rolled off the bed and made it there.

The last person I wanted to see, the only person I longed to see, stood there lost in thought while gazing into my direction. His eyes caught mine and the breath left me. While the thought of him made me sick he'd probably been off with Linda. I didn't like to deny things, but I knew I denied for a while, before he gave me a ride home in the rain, that a part of me had feelings beyond hatred for Barry. Looking at him now, I knew that they'd been there. They still were, but I didn't want them to be. We were just too different. The decade apart had shaped us too drastically that it was hard to even get along for a long period of time.

So before I threw up again I shut that window to the past and tried to make it through the night without being sick.

My spot by the window in the library was extra chilly today. My knit sweater wasn't doing the job I would've liked, but my still warm coffee helped a bit. Thank God the school invested in a coffee stand two years ago. The lunch room wasn't really my crowd. Well, any crowd wasn't really my crowd. But I couldn't sit there and act like I hadn't been teased by Barry's friends for most my life. The black nerd girl too obsessed with getting good grades to actually be cool. They thought I was a snob, too good to hang out with them. The truth was when I lost Barry I didn't know how to make any more friends. I didn't think anyone wanted to be near me, that there was something wrong with me. So I buckled down and focused on my school work. Books wouldn't get to know me, be there for me, make me laugh, and then one day throw me away like a used tissue. Not like Barry did.

I sipped on my coffee as I stared out the window. I was avoiding him more than usual. Another truth was I foolishly thought he changed and we could work on our friendship. That he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to leave me alone and he'd come after me and apologize, but he didn't. I don't know why I thought he'd choose a friendship with me over his popularity, over Linda. Funny how we always wanted the things we couldn't have, we always obsessed over them. Sadly, I'd become the girl that couldn't stop thinking about Barry Allen.

This time of year was the hardest. Dad always worked extra long hours so the house was cold and empty. Memories of my childhood came to my mind at random times. Just like last night. I thought about telling my dad and going to a therapist, but I didn't want Barry to have that much power over me. Then it would become real and I'd have to acknowledge what I wanted to bury deep.

The air around me became charged with something otherworldly. Without having to turn around I felt him in the area. My body became hyperaware of his presence. I clutched my coffee cup, afraid that if I put it down and unfocused my gaze from the window that I would see him and my composure would crumble.

"Isn't that little miss chocolate bunny over there, Allen?" My ears picked up who had to be one of Barry's followers.

I pretended not to hear it.

"Cool it, man." Barry whispered.

"What, are you hitting that?" He laughed.

"No, not even close. I wouldn't think about touching her."

My jaw hardened.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I tasted some." A chair scraped against the floor and I prayed that there was some other poor "chocolate bunny" around.

With my luck, there wasn't.

Drew Jacobsen leaned against my table. A smirk in place as his skeevy brown eyes scanned my body. "Iris," He grinned. "How are you doing?"

My heart picked up in my chest. "Good. I was just studying so if you don't mind." I scanned the words on the history book but I didn't retain any of it.

He leaned down closer. "I actually wanted to ask you out."

His friends laughed.

My brow rose. "Did you now?" My mouth set in a thin line as my fist tightened around the cup.

"Hey," He smirked. "It's just, I've never been with a sister before and I'd definitely like to experiment on the dark side if you were willing." He tried to hide his laughter as he looked back at his friends. Back at Barry.

It wasn't that I hadn't been through this before because I have. It was that I hadn't been through this before and let myself care about Barry. My eyes glanced around the library. Other students had stopped what they were doing to observe us, a few laughing. My chest felt heavy.

"I've seen you looking at me in the halls, Iris. I know you tend to go lighter so it's a win win situation. So what time can I pick you up tonight?"

His boys laughed louder. Others joined in. Drew smiled down at me with amused eyes.

I shot up, my heart in my throat as tears threatened to expose how much this affected me. "I actually have some stuff to do, so I can't." I started for the exit but he stood in my way.

His hand grabbed my shoulder. "You should be thrilled I'd want to take your virginity."

The laughter became louder. I bit my bottom lip to keep my chin from trembling.

"What's wrong, you didn't want people to know you still haven't done it? We can go to the janitor's closet and take care of that now." He gestured towards the exit.

My eyes slid to Barry's, thinking he'd somehow intervene, but he didn't. He just stood there, doing nothing.

"Oh, you have the hots for Barry?" Drew turned to Barry then back at me with a laugh. "Well, I'm sure if you begged him he'd do you."

All I could hear was the cackles and the howls of laughter as I ripped my shoulder away from his grip and ran from the library. I didn't even make it to the door as the first tear fell. After that they came heavily. They blurred my vision and I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I had to get somewhere private. My ears thumped as my heart felt like it was breaking off.

I stumbled to the hard linoleum.

"Iris," The last voice I wanted to hear called. He came into view, his hazel eyes worried. His strong hands helped me up. "Are you okay?"

I pushed him away as hard as I could. "Leave me alone, Barry."

He gave me an apologetic look, one that I wanted to accept. "Drew was an ass. He should've never said those things to you."

"Why do you care? You're just as bad as him."

He looked at me incredulously. "How can you say that?"

"You stood there and let him humiliate me in front of everybody." My voice faltered. "You didn't do anything." I folded my arms across my chest as I backed away from him.

"Iris, I didn't tell him to do that."

"No, but he learned from the best. He learned from you."

He neared me, his eyes pleading. "I'm sorry. I should've st-"

I held my hand up. "I don't want to hear it. Can you just leave me alone?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not going to leave you alone. I left you alone for ten years because I was mad at you. I don't want to be mad anymore, I want to be friends again." He gave a tiny hopeful grin.

Fresh tears pooled in my eyes as I shook my head. "You're too late. I would never want to be friends with someone like you."

His smiled faltered. "Iris, I didn't mean to hurt you."

My chin trembled. "Well, you did anyway." I turned from him.

He pulled me back to his chest, my breath caught as I took in his sad green eyes and fading tan. His thin lips inches from mine. "I'm not letting you walk away. I miss you, Flower." His warm breath fanned across my face as he took me in. His words in the library came back to my mind. His eyes hopeful.

The rest of my heart disconnected like a person hanging from a cliff. "I. Hate. You."

He blinked a few times as his grip loosened until it fell. He back away from me.

"Do you get it now?"

He nodded, but it didn't seem like he understood it.

"Will you leave me alone now?"

He looked back up at me hesitantly. He cleared his throat. "Yes." He slowly turned away and headed down the hall.

Feeling emotionally drained I stumbled to my car. I had to get out of here, I didn't care that school didn't end for another two hours and that I was about to ruin my nearly perfect attendance record. The only person I could think to talk to was Caitlin. I had to get to work.

I headed for Jitters. I had to work today anyway, what was being early a few hours anyway?

By some miracle, I made it there in the rain and through my tears. I pushed my sunglasses on my eyes and headed inside. She was taking someone's order. Jason stood at the other register.

She looked up at me with curious eyes as she took me in. "Hey, Iris."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" My voice asked shakily.

She nodded, instantly knowing something was wrong. "Yeah. Jason can you take over for a minute. We're going to be in the back."

He sighed. "Make it quick ladies."

She shot him a dirty look as she ushered me behind the counter and into the empty kitchen. "Honey, what happened?"

I took off my sunglasses and tried to remain calm. "Barry...There was an incident at school." My eyes were foggy. "One of his stupid jock friends tried to embarrass me and Barry..." I lost my composure again as I clutched to her. "He didn't...do... anything...about it. He just stood there."

She rubbed my back with a heavy sigh. "I'm so sorry, Iris." She squeezed me tight.

All I could do was cry. It felt undeniably good to be held right now. I never thought of Caitlin as a mother figure, but that's what she was to me at this moment. That only made me cry harder. I couldn't ever have this with my mom again.

"Don't hate me for saying this, but do you think you're this upset is because you have stronger feelings for Barry than you're willing to admit?"

I stilled. "What do you mean?" I sniffled.

"I mean, are you afraid to admit that you're in love with Barry?"

I almost laughed at how crazy she sounded. I pulled away as I tried to see if she was serious. She was. "Are you mental? I am not in love with Barry. I hate him." My voice trembled on the last word.

She looked at me with sad eyes.

"I hate him." I nodded. "I hate him."

"Okay."

"I hate him!"

She pulled me back to her, swaying us side to side. "Okay, Iris. I believe you." She burrowed my head in her chest. "Just cry into the titties."

I let out a shallow laugh.

We stayed there until I felt better.

BARRY'S POV:

"Barry," Cisco warned into my ear piece. "Don't run angry."

I ignored him as I raced through the city. Part of me knew that the rain made it a little unstable to run at this speed. If I fell at this velocity I didn't know how badly injured I'd be. But none of that mattered today.

"What happened today?"

I. Hate. You. Her words wouldn't stop replaying in my head. The broken look she gave me. I knew without a doubt that I had caused that pain and that I'd been causing that pain for half our lives. I couldn't tell her how sorry I was.

"Fine, run angry," Cisco muttered.

My irritation flared. Everything that's been going on with him lately was getting to me. I wasn't sure he wanted to be a part of this team anymore. A huge part of me feared that I'd lose another best friend. And I couldn't handle that today, so I stayed quiet.

"Barry, we got a hit. There's a known thief in the middle of town. Apparently he has some kind of...gun." He said hesitantly.

"What kind of gun? Is he a metahuman?" I headed for downtown.

Silence.

"Cisco!"

"Uh, Leonard Snart. He has a Cold Gun. It shoots blasts of ice."

What the hell? "Where would he even get something like that?"

"I...I really don't know."

I came to an abrupt stop. Snart stood in the middle off the street surrounded by cops with the gun in his hand.

"I'm not going to tell you again, drop it, Snart!" Joe yelled.

Snart shot at the policeman that snuck up behind him. The gun froze the officer to an ice cycle. Snart pushed him over and he broke into pieces.

"Anyone else want to try something risky?"

I ran forward. "What about me?" I pushed him back.

He chuckled, the gun still in his hand as he corrected himself. "The infamous Streak. Came to stop little ole me." He pointed the gun at a civilian. "Let's see if you're fast enough to handle the chill." He shot the gun.

I ran to the man and placed him on the other side of the lot. Civilians screamed as Snart randomly shot at people that I was fast enough to save. Gunfire shot and I moved Snart out the way. He wasn't a metahuman. He could be contained. He didn't have to die.

He grinned at me. "Your heart's too big, kid." He shot at me and I moved out the way fast enough that it only hit my side.

I groaned in pain.

"Barry, are you okay?" Cisco asked.

"It burns." I struggled to get up.

"You have to get that gun away from him."

Snart pointed it at me again and a bullet shot through his shoulder.

We looked over at Joe, his gun aimed at us. He was one of the only cops that stood ground and didn't high tail it away.

Snart sneered as he aimed the Cold Gun at Joe.

I rushed forward and grabbed Joe as we fell to the wet pavement.

Joe shoved me off of him. "Get off of me..." He stared at me with disbelieving eyes.

In the moment I forgot that Joe would recognize me even in the mask and by the time I realized he knew it was me it was too late to vibrate my face. My eyes pleaded with him not tell, not to turn me in. I knew how he felt about The Streak. What I saw in his eyes, eyes much like Iris', wasn't disappointment or anger. There was pride. Love.

He nodded.

I flashed away, but I wasn't as fast as I should've been. It had to be the gun, it reached absolute zero. I faced Snart. "No one has to die!" I made sure to vibrate my voice.

"Chill out, kid. None of these people care if you live or die alongside me."

He was right, but I couldn't think about that right now.

"Iris, get down!" Joe yelled.

I turned to see her running this way. Did she have a death sentence? What was she thinking running in this direction?

"Get out of here!" I yelled at her.

Snart turned the gun on her and aimed. The road began to ice over where the gun hit it.

Her eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen. She started to turn.

My heart raced in my chest as I ran for her. I couldn't lose her. Not now. Not ever. The cold was about to kill her. I shoved her into the air right as the blast hit me in the chest. I cried out.

"Barry!" Cisco yelled in my earpiece.

I fell to the ground. My eyes found Iris laying on the ground a yard away. Red stained the pavement by her head. No, she had to be okay. My chest burned so badly it hurt to breath.

Snart stood above me, the gun pointed at me. "Looks like you weren't fast enough, kid." He aimed it.

"Barry, are you okay?"

I flashed out of the way in time enough to miss the blast. I picked Iris up and ran to the hospital as fast as my legs could go at my currently slowed speed. My heart thumped in my ears. I felt lightheaded. I pushed forward, groaning in frustration. The hospital was less than a mile away.

I dropped her off into the ER. The nurses stared at me with surprised eyes. "Her name's Iris West." I vibrated my voice and face. "She hit her head." The world titled. "Where can I put her?"

They rushed to get an empty bed. I set her down. My breathing came heavily, my hands on my knees.

"Sir, I think you better sit down. You've been burned pretty badly." She didn't believe she was saying it. Doctors tended to believe in science and not fiction.

My eyes landed on Iris.

"Barry, get out of there!" Cisco demanded.

I pushed forward, stumbling. The nurses caught me. It took all my effort to vibrate my face. I had to get out of here. I shook them off and ran to the best of my ability. My eyes fluttered shut as I felt my equilibrium off balance. My feet tripped me up and I tumbled to the ground, falling into a pile of debris at high speed. My eyes fought to stay open, but they eventually lost the fight.

"Barry!"

Everything drifted away as I let go of consciousness.