A/N: Here it is, the companion to Chapter 3! We have officially entered into AU territory, starting with that conversation with Bates. My lovely beta, silhouettedswallow, asked whether or not Anna had already been arrested at the time of this story. Well…since I really loathed that storyline, I am simply choosing to pretend it never happened. Hope that's okay with everyone…no offense meant to Julian or his outstanding characters and writing.

Songs are on Spotify - username is ChelsieSouloftheAbbey, playlist is story title.

Thanks again for reviewing! Cheers!

They say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger.

Well, I'd better learn how to starve the emptiness and feed the hunger.

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road,

You can stand there and agonize, 'til your agony's your heaviest load.

You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile,

When you're learning to face the path at your pace

Every choice is worth your while.

~"Watershed," by the Indigo Girls

As much as Elsie had hoped to see (interrogate) Mr. Carson that evening about the song he'd been humming, it simply hadn't been possible. That day and the next few had proven ridiculously busy, as Anna, then Madge, then a third maid and finally one of the footmen had fallen ill with flu. Elsie had ended up changing bed linens, helping in the laundry, and doing a myriad of other things she had not dealt directly with in years. With no one else available, Miss Baxter and Elsie had to handle dressing and waiting on all three of the ladies upstairs, and with that task on top of her other duties, Elsie found she was constantly exhausted by dinnertime.

Elsie realized she wasn't the only one under duress. Mr. Carson had seemed short-tempered with the male staff all week, and the look in his eyes when they'd pass in the hall, or chat quickly at the few meals they managed to share, spoke volumes about his own stress. But now Lord and Lady Grantham were to spend a week away. Of course, that only added to the current work load. Elsie had to rearrange cleaning rotas to concentrate on the in-depth jobs that had to be accomplished when public rooms, such as the library, wouldn't see much use. Bless Anna for volunteering to help. She must be mad with boredom after having spent so many days confined to her bed!

This plan had led to two additional meetings with Lady Grantham and a third with Mr. Branson, who often used the library even when home alone. To make matters worse, Elsie knew from Mrs. Patmore that two of the week's supply deliveries had been missing items, and that because Mr. Barrow was filling in for the missing footman more of his duties were falling to Mr. Carson. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, indeed, Elsie thought with a chuckle. So when Elsie saw the butler in passing or at a meal, she recognized that the fatigue in his eyes mirrored her own, and by unspoken agreement each head of staff headed up to bed as soon as possible every night, foregoing their accustomed glass of sherry.

Elsie couldn't wait until Lord and Lady Grantham headed out in the morning, and as Lady Edith planned to spend most of that week in London, Elsie was sure the house would be much quieter and more relaxed for a while. There would be time for conversation soon enough. And then what? It won't do to start something … you know how you despise an 'atmosphere.' Tread carefully, lass. For both your sakes …

Elsie knew that she would have to approach her questions with extra care, and it made her nervous – a feeling with which she was distinctly unfamiliar, having always been steady and sure in times of trouble. This was not some unruly footman or an improper comment from a maid. No, this would be a new thing. Now her feelings were on the line. Elsie knew she did not want to be in disagreement with Mr. Carson, did not want a misunderstanding, did not want to be accusing or antagonistic or express any of the other fiery characteristics that so often came unbidden to her. However, she also did not want to keep her feelings to herself if there was a chance that they might be reciprocated, even in the smallest of ways.

The situation was eating her alive, making it hard to focus. Elsie had always felt she knew her own mind so well. She'd always been the sure one, the steady one, in their … whatever it is now. But this last week had been trying at best. For years, Elsie felt as though her feelings were one-sided, and she was okay with that. Then she had started working at finding that man she knew was still alive inside her butler, and she thought he was coming around at last. Since then she'd noticed something a bit more in his looks, his comments. He seemed to be speaking with a new facet to his voice, one that was a bit softer and more … caring. And when Elsie heard that snippet of music, it sang to her from deep within him, a rumbling sound given to a song once so sweet and pure. Elsie recognized the song instantly, there was no question, but the fact that it lived and sang in his mind threw all that she was sure of into a whirlwind of confusion. She had made a decision to address it, but this last week had her questioning herself once again. Would it REALLY be so bad to let it lie, to let things remain as they are? The man hadn't spoken another word about purchasing a property since she'd informed him of her situation with Becky, and she wondered if that meant he'd given up on the idea. You could just spend the rest of your days here working alongside the man, couldn't that be enough?

But when Elsie thought back on the past few years, on the tragedies of losing Lady Sybil and then Mr. Crawley so soon after, she thought about opportunities not taken, of time lost. 'We're getting on,' you said to him … and it's true, Els. All that lost time ... She wondered what she would ever do if she were to lose him, without ever having had the chance to truly, openly, love the man. Elsie decided once again that she must get to the bottom of this whole situation, ask about the song. She recommitted herself to her plan to move forward, to approach him and speak what was on her mind. When the house was calmer, emptier, she would approach him. If there was any chance at all that she could hope for something more to their friendship, for some kind of understanding, some discussion of feelings, Elsie would latch onto that with all she had.

Fragments of the past sped through her head as she descended to the dining area: Don't tell me you'll miss me … I'm just a sad, old fool … They're all the family I'VE got … So much I could taste it. That last bit made her falter a bit. Elsie knew she'd helped him to stitch up the old would that Alice left behind, but that didn't mean that she herself would measure up to the memory of that woman. She'd told him the truth as she saw it, that we all must have our hearts broken once or twice, she just wasn't sure if he'd be willing to risk it again. But Elsie clung to the one thing she knew above all else, the one advantage she'd had that she could offer him, the thing that calmed her rabid thoughts and fears: she would never consider leaving his side for as long as she lived, and she was fairly certain that he'd believe it if she told him.

Elsie checked to be sure everything was packed and ready for the Granthams' trip and then headed downstairs for a pot of tea before securing herself away in her sitting room to catch up on some bookkeeping. She was relieved to see Anna in the servants' hall, looking much better than she had all week. At the moment, Anna and Miss Baxter were in conversation, catching up and going over a few minor details for the upcoming week. Of course Anna would remain behind with Lady Mary but, since Miss Baxter had never traveled without another ladies' maid in attendance, she needed clarification on a few things. The housekeeper smiled at them, then retrieved her teapot from her sitting room, returning to the kitchen to fill it before heading back to her desk.

As she prepared her tea, Elsie reflected on the two women at the dining table. Miss Baxter was definitely an improvement over the last two people to hold her position. Elsie smiled at the thought of the aura of peaceful tranquility Miss Baxter spread to everyone around her. She was talented, calm and dedicated. She was a hard worker, the trait Elsie valued most in her girls, and she could be counted on to keep her own counsel, a quality all ladies' maids must have … and one which both Miss O'Brien and Miss Braithwaite were lacking in spades.

As for Anna … Elsie sighed imperceptibly as she sat at her desk with her tea, pondering for just a moment the rush of feelings she had for the young woman. She mothered all of her girls to some extent, and many of the young footmen as well. So many had come to the house with nothing, and while a few came from good and loving families – like William Mason had – that was certainly not always the case. Elsie often felt that she and Mr. Carson were surrogate parents to all of their charges: both were strict but fair, and while she was often the more calming presence they were both well-respected. (Elsie knew for a fact that she had more of Mr. Barrow's trust, but that was fine by her.)

Daydreaming still, Elsie remembered the first day she ever laid eyes on Anna. Elsie had been newly appointed as housekeeper, and it was her first time conducting an interview by herself. Anna had arrived at Downton with a good deal of baggage, and not the physical kind - of that she'd had barely any at all. She had looked at Elsie with eyes that were both haunted and strong. Her quiet voice, despite its timidity, spoke volumes. The girl presented a strange combination of confidence in her abilities as a housemaid and fear that she wouldn't get the job that she so obviously needed. Elsie hired Anna on the spot, feeling a kinship with the girl in front of her because she reminded the housekeeper of who she had been long ago.

From her first day at the house, Anna gravitated toward Elsie as a student would toward a mentor. Elsie was gentle with her, yet expected a great deal. She could see the potential Anna harbored within herself to be truly wonderful at her job … perhaps a potential to succeed Elsie as housekeeper, even. She watched as the young woman blossomed before her eyes, and marveled at the effects that a warm home, a reliable supply of good food, and employers that cared about their staff were having on the new maid. Anna flourished and was head housemaid within the year. Save Becky, Elsie had never felt so proud of another person, yet it never occurred to her that Anna might harbor similar feelings of affection.

A knock sounded at her door. "Come in," Elsie called, startled out of her reverie. She was taken aback as the subject of her thoughts came striding into the room.

"I noticed you head in here, and wondered if you could spare a moment," Anna said.

"I can," replied the housekeeper, "Please take a seat. How are you?"

"Oh, so much better, thank you!" Anna replied. "I've some extra time to chat just now, as Lady Mary is having a lie-down. I daresay she needs it, poor Master George was up most of last night. It appears more teeth are on the way, although I'd quite hoped for her sake he'd be done by now."

Elsie was pleasantly surprised at Lady Mary's newfound maternal instinct. She attributed it to the hours that Mr. Branson spent with Miss Sybbie – much to the annoyance of the nanny – and, truth be told, Elsie was beginning to wonder if she had been wrong all these years, had judged the eldest daughter too harshly. Goodness knows she'd had words on the topic all too often with Mr. Carson, as it was no secret that he doted on "his favorite." Elsie had always preferred Lady Sybil's spunk and forthrightness and Lady Edith's intellect and quick wit. Lady Mary always reminded her of the Dowager, who also put Elsie off in a way she couldn't fully explain. Ironically, they were the only other two women besides herself (sigh) with whom, as far as she could tell, Mr. Carson seemed to share a unique relationship.

Elsie was curious about the history behind those relationships. In her darker moments, she had attributed it to both women being successful at manipulating the butler, with Lady Mary having convinced him that she was somehow more special, more entitled to his attention than her sisters. However, since the death of poor Mr. Crawley, Elsie had seen the young woman undergo a transformation. She now wondered if it was more an unveiling of the true nature that lay underneath the protective shell Lady Mary had built around herself … a technique which, when she thought about it, reminded Elsie of someone else she knew. No wonder she gravitates toward Mr. Carson. She is so like him: hard exterior façade with a glimmer of a true, caring soul hidden deep within. They understand one another. But the Dowager – she shook her head slightly – there's no sorting that. The man was simply caring, and his depths were likely more profound that even Elsie realized. His sweetness, thoughtfulness, trustworthiness, and dedication to those who he saw as important – his family, she thought sadly – were admirable. Elsie was overwhelmed at times by her feelings toward him, and marveled that she'd been able to hide them all these years, hide them behind conversations, glasses of wine, and dealing with the troubles of others. Her heart sang with the knowledge that, together, they'd handled the household as if they were a … married couple.

Though her thoughts took mere seconds, Elsie's distraction was not lost on Anna. "Mrs. Hughes … is everything alright?" inquired Anna gently. "I think I lost you there for a moment."

"Hmmm … I'm sorry? Oh, yes, I do apologize. I've quite a lot on my mind lately, which should not be interfering with our conversation. Please pardon me," Elsie said sheepishly.

Anna smiled back at her. "There's nothing to worry about, Mrs. Hughes. It can be nice to get lost in one's thoughts now and again."

Elsie was taken aback. She was used to managing her feelings in front of her staff, but now she saw a knowing look in Anna's eye that told her the girl was well aware that Elsie had been miles away. You must be more careful in front of Anna, lass. It seems she's more perceptive than you realized.

Anna looked at Elsie quietly, wondering if the wonderful, warm suspicions she'd had since their trip to Brighton beach might truly founded in reality. The housekeeper had seemed a bit more joyful of late, with an extra little something in her step. And she'd been distracted at times. Of course, she'd been as demanding as always, but there was an extra twinge of kindness to her lately … particularly when seated around the table. Anna recognized the demeanor, because it was something she had noticed in her husband at the beginnings of their own romance. John had always been so stoic but, when he finally admitted his feelings for her, a light appeared in his eyes … a light that Anna was immensely proud of. The same light now shone in Mrs. Hughes's eyes and, more recently, in those of their resident butler.

Elsie watched Anna's face, and spied something she didn't recognize … suspicion, perhaps? This will not do ... "Anna, is there something I can help you with?" she asked.

Anna smiled. "I came in to chat with you about the new schedule for the upcoming week, to see specifically how I can help as Lady Mary will be away in meetings for a good deal of time. But now, I wonder if you'd rather some time alone? I can come back later if you like." After a brief pause, and against her better judgment, Anna continued, "I can tell you have some … things … on your mind, Mrs. Hughes. Please don't think me impertinent, but after all the help you've given me through this awfulness with Mr. Green, I'd just like to say that you seem a bit … happier lately. It suits you."

Elsie could not believe the words that the girl uttered. Impertinent it was, but if there was anyone's opinion that Elsie valued nearly as much as Mr. Carson's, it was Anna's. And if Anna could read the thoughts on her face, then Elsie needed to be much more careful in her dealings with the young woman.

The housekeeper caught herself worrying her bottom lip, stopped immediately, and smiled fondly at Anna. "I won't chastise you this time, Anna … but I will simply say … thank you. Now, about those cleaning rotas?"

"Yes, well … " began Anna with a smile.

A/N #2: **Bonus song, because it's fun and OH SO appropriate here! "Something There," from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. (The staff suspects! The "beast's" paw!) Consider it a nod to Dan Stevens and his new adventure if you wish…enjoy!