The song for this chapter is Mansionair- Hold Me Down

Yall should check out MTV's new tv show Scream. It was surprisingly good!

IRIS' POV:

Breath. Just breath.

I perched on the toilet in my bathroom and gazed out the open window, my legs pulled to my chest.

There was a knock on my door. Barry stuck his head in.

"Room for one more?"

I stayed silent.

"You know this wasn't what I expected from the welcome wagon when I returned."

He came to sit on the edge of the sink. That unmistakable charge filled the air. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I should've reached out to you, but I couldn't."

My arms tightened around my legs. I didn't want to hear his lies.

With a sigh he came to sit on the floor in front of the toilet. "I need you to talk to me, Flower."

"Don't," My eyes drifted down to his. "Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that."

"I'm sorry I left. I didn't have a choice."

You always have a choice, at least that's what my dad said.

I imagined this so many times, fantasizing about how perfectly it would go, but having Barry here right now was far less than perfect. This Flash theory was still fresh in my head and while I thought it was Barry talking to me after I left the school I didn't want to sound like a crazy person if I was completely wrong. I had enough to deal with. So I stored this particular accusation and met his hazel eyes.

"You said you would be my friend, you told me that you wouldn't screw it up this time."

I rose from the seat and went to my room.

"I know and I really tried to keep that promise," He followed. "I did everything I could to keep it."

"You lied to me! "

I couldn't help but notice how he filled out even more over his missing months. It was not the time to appreciate how big his arms had gotten or how strong his jaw was. But it was Barry so it was always the wrong time.

"How did you think this would go?" I demanded. "You would come back and everything would okay? Well, it isn't!"

He looked at me with heavy eyes.

If you asked me earlier how I would've reacted if Barry came back I would've said I would be overjoyed, content. I would've been curious, but nonetheless happy. I knew I was suspicious and frustrated now because of that stupid theory. He was right here. I could ask him and then everything would change either way. Barry could be The Flash and I could be right or I could go to therapy and be wrong. I wasn't ready for either of those.

He neared me. "I know you're upset. I would be, too. There's just-"

"Where were you?" I interrupted.

He sighed. "I can't tell you."

Of course, not.

"Why did you leave?"

His green eyes drifted away. "I can't tell you that, either."

With a single nod I turned away from him. "So you can't tell me anything about your disappearance?"

He was silent for a while before saying, "No. I'm sorry." He stepped closer, his body heat warming my back up.

"Then you know how this must look. How am I supposed to trust you when all you do is lie and hurt me?" I turned to him, not expecting him to be so close. My eyes met his. "I thought you were dead, Barry. I mourned you, I prayed that anything would show up. I even asked The Flash to find you. Cisco and I were half zombies because of you. Do you get that?"

He nodded. "I know it couldn't have been easy for either of you. Cisco has forgiven me. Can you?"

Could I? Sure. Definitely. I wanted to forgive him right now so the four of us could laugh and watch a movie or something fun. But I couldn't do that because I had an inkling of self respect and even though I really wanted to shower Barry in hugs and meaningful kisses I couldn't. Not when he couldn't let me in his life the way I let him into mine. Again, I couldn't help but think about how I really didn't know him as well as I thought.

"I need some time, Barry. How do I know you're not going to leave me again? How could I get close to you again?"

"I don't know. You did it once. Can you do it again?" He leaned down, his hand cupped my face. "I thought about you everyday, Iris. I know I hurt you, but please, don't shut me out right now."

Let him in, my heart said. Don't back down, my head challenged.

He leaned down, his mouth close to mine. "Please," His breath tickled my mouth. "Forgive me, Flower."

All I had to do was lean in a bit more and I could be kissing Barry.

"Iris,"

I pulled away to find Eddie in the doorway. Deep worry in his eyes. He took in Barry and me. I went to him.

"I don't understand."

"Barry's back," I gave a weak smile.

"No, I got that. I'm talking about earlier. You left me a message that nearly scared me out of my mind." He took me in, making sure I was okay.

"Oh, I'm fine, I promise. The Flash took care of it."

He handed me my bag. "I looked everywhere." He pulled me to his chest. "I'm glad you're okay."

With a sigh, I relaxed. Eddie had been my distraction throughout it all. I should've let him go, but I was too weak to do it.

"I'm fine," I squeezed his shoulder. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

He leaned down, his lips overtaking mine. I could never get lost in our kisses or anything we really did. I just wanted something to pass the time and I was almost positive Eddie knew that.

When I pulled away he gave me a look. Did he really think I wanted to kiss him in front of Barry? I turned around to face him. Way back when, Barry said he wanted me to be happy and judging by the way he was looking at me now I was going to say that didn't apply to Eddie.

"I should go." He said, giving me a look that made me feel unfairly guilty. He headed for the door. "Goodnight."

I reached out and grabbed his arm. "I'm glad that you're okay."

His green eyes fell on me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Iris."

I nodded. "Okay."