A/N: Thanks again to silhouettedswallow, who gave several suggestions to make this more succinct (I took MOST of them).

Thanks again to ALL readers, reviewers and rebloggers - your loving words make my day!

Spotify - Username: ChelsieSouloftheAbbey, Playlist: Music of the Heart - you can look 'em up, they do add to the story.

xx

CSotA

All along I believed I would find you.

Time has brought your heart to me;

I have loved you for a thousand years.

I'll love you for a thousand more.

One step closer …

~"A Thousand Years," Christina Perri

Elsie and Charles arrived back at the house just as the lantern ran out of oil. Opening the door, Elsie headed in and took the basket from Charles so that he could lock up. They returned the basket to the kitchen, thankful (but somewhat surprised) that Mrs. Patmore had been thoughtful enough to head up early. Although the servants' hall was empty they headed to the butler's pantry by mutual, silent agreement. Charles left the door slightly ajar at first, but thought the better of it. He wasn't completely sure that all the staff had gone to bed, so he returned and shut the door, turning the lock with a soft click.

"So," Elsie said. "Here we are. Back to normal tomorrow, and I must say I am looking forward to that."

"Yes," he agreed. "I think it will be good for you to return to some semblance of normalcy after the days you've just experienced." He paused and caught her eyes in an almost shy glance. "I'm not sure if things will feel entirely normal now, though … at least, not from where I'm standing."

She chuckled and acknowledged this with a nod. "Yes, well … It will be a bit different sitting next to you at the table now, won't it? Knowing what we know of each other's … feelings." Desires. "Not being able to show them as openly as we did this evening will be … difficult." Impossible … heartbreaking … very, very tempting … but NOT allowed. Sigh.

"We shall have to be particularly careful around Anna and Mr. Bates, I imagine," said Charles.

"Yes … and evidently around Mrs. Patmore as well. I can only imagine what she has in store for me tomorrow. It'll be an inquisition for sure!" Elsie laughed, shaking her head.

"Tell her what you will," Charles replied, a daring look in his eye. "She might even believe half of it. But really, I only asked her to provide a basket of food so that I could surprise you with a dinner away from prying eyes after your long journey. I said nothing else, not that she hasn't guessed anyway. The woman has known me forever, and she is rather perceptive, I'll admit."

"Oh, I know exactly how perceptive she is," Elsie sighed. "She's been telling me for years about how much you care for me … always hinting, pushing, insinuating. I never really believed it, though."

Charles took Elsie gently in his arms, and she laid her head on his chest. "Well," he said softly, "I hope you do now."

Elsie sighed deeply, relishing the sensation of being in his arms again. She could smell his aftershave, a hint of his soap, and feel the warmth of his arms as they encircled her. She snuggled in a bit more deeply as he spoke. Oh, that voice … that rumbling, lovely voice that I can FEEL when he holds me.

"Yes, my love … I do now."

Breaking apart at last, they made their way upstairs. As they reached the doorway that would divide them for the rest of the night, Charles placed a chaste kiss to Elsie's forehead, just as he'd done that first night he'd confessed his love to her. God, that seems like YEARS and not days ago, Elsie thought. Looking quickly down the corridor, she snatched his hand as he was turning away, placing the loveliest of kisses to his palm.

"Good night, Mr. Carson," she said softly.

He smiled. "Sleep well, Mrs. Hughes. I'll see you at breakfast."

Elsie took the key from the hook, then slowly closed the door and locked it. With a smile and a song in her heart, she headed to bed.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny, for which Elsie was grateful. Despite her love of all things water, the rain would make her think of Argyll, and she could do without those thoughts just yet. She dressed quickly, but took a few more minutes with her hair than she normally would. After securing the last pin she reached for her chatelaine out of habit, only to remember that Anna still had it. Oh, Anna … you must thank her most sincerely for the time she gave you last night. That lovely, lovely night … sigh. Oh, Els, you're in deep now, aren't you? Elsie smiled to herself and headed to the door, only to head back and add a dab of lavender oil to her neck. Why not? He did seem to enjoy that.

As she headed to the servants' hall, Elsie met Charles in the hallway and found herself breathless and trembling. Oh, this is NOT good, Elsie … not good at all. But his look steadied her, as did the hand he gently placed on her elbow.

"Good morning," he said quietly, smiling brilliantly at her. "Are you ready, Mrs. Hughes?"

"Yes, I believe so." She took a deep breath, sending him a look of gratitude. Steady at last, she nodded.

Charles tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at her, having caught a trace of the lavender scent that he so loved. He held his hand out, motioning for her to proceed. As they entered the servants' hall everyone rose from their seats. Elsie heard a hearty "Good morning, Mrs. Hughes – welcome back!" followed by a respectful, "Good morning, Mr. Carson." She thanked them all as Charles motioned for them to be seated. Okay … that part was painless, she thought. Everything is perfectly fine … no one suspects a thing really. We can do this.

Taking her seat, Elsie started to prepare two cups of tea as she had done every morning for goodness knows how many breakfasts. How domestic, this, she thought wryly. She then wished desperately that the thought had not run through her head because it led to a million other thoughts that most definitely should not run through one's head at the breakfast table. Sneaking a sideways glance at Charles, she noticed he was trying very hard not to look at her. She set his tea in front of him, then turned and caught Anna's eye. They shared a smile and a nod; Elsie noticed a mischievous gleam in Anna's eye. Uh-oh.

The rest of breakfast was a trial in patience. Elsie was famished and noticed she was eating faster than usual in her efforts to not speak to Charles. Although it seemed like a sensible plan at first, Elsie then found herself finished with her meal long before anyone else. She tried to occupy herself with chatting with the others, catching up on little nothings here and there. She didn't want to be rude by leaving the table barely ten minutes after having sat down, but she needed to be anywhere but at Charles's side, knowing their knees were only centimeters apart. She instinctively realized that, if they touched accidentally, it would do her in completely. Turning her body (particularly her knees) to her right, she continued the conversation she'd been having with Mr. Barrow.

Charles, on the other hand, could barely eat at all. He was concentrating most of his efforts on not touching her knee with his, not catching any glances of hers, not blushing, not sloshing his tea as he tried to calmly lift his cup. Oh, this is not as easy as I'd imagined. Why can it not be as easy as last night? We were even alone then, no audience to keep our thoughts focused, and yet we were so at ease. THIS is a bloody hell! He saw her turn away from him slightly, in conversation with Mr. Barrow, and was very grateful for the small reprieve. He had no idea how he was going to make it through more meals like this.

Thankfully, bells began to ring and most of the servants headed off to their various tasks. Elsie caught Anna's eye on her way up to dress Lady Mary. "Ten o'clock?" she enquired.

"Yes, that should do nicely, Mrs. Hughes." Anna reached to her belt and unclipped the chatelaine, handing it back to Elsie. "Here you are. I've left the ledger on your desk so that you can check through what I've done. I'll see you soon then."

"Thank you, Anna." Elsie watched the young woman as she headed off, a feeling of pride surging in her as she reflected on how well Anna had transitioned into the housekeeper's job, if only for a few days. She got up from the table and stopped by the kitchen, asking Daisy to bring a pot of tea and two cups in about an hour.

"Certainly, Mrs. Hughes, no problem."

"Well, well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Mrs. Patmore's voice was much quieter than usual, which immediately made Elsie very, very suspicious.

"Thank you, Mrs. Patmore, although I'm sure Anna did a wonderful job while I was gone," she said cautiously. Thankfully Daisy had moved on to some new task or other, and the two women were relatively alone.

"Oh, she did, I am sure, but she's not the one I was worried about now, is she?" came the cheeky reply. "And how, may I ask, was your evening?" she whispered gleefully.

Elsie shook her head and just smiled. "It was … very relaxing," she said. "Thank you so much for the meal. It was nice to have some time to ease back into things. I truly appreciate it."

"And?" pushed the cook. "It was 'relaxing'? That's … it?"

Elsie shook her head, and looked innocently and wide-eyed at her friend, deciding to fight fire with fire. "What, pray tell, are you actually trying to ask me, Mrs. Patmore? Hmmm?"

"Oh … well … I only wondered if a certain … someone … well, you know … perhaps confessed certain …" she faltered. "Oh, never mind! You know damn well what I'm asking you, Elsie Hughes! I presume you are not yet ready to divulge any details just yet, but I can promise you that I'll find them out anyways!"

"I'm sure I don't know to what you are referring, Mrs. Patmore," Elsie replied back, somehow managing to keep a straight, stern expression as she faced off with the cook.

Mrs. Patmore just leaned in and whispered in Elsie's ear, "For the sake of that thoughtful bear of a man sitting down the hall, I hope you know exactly 'to what I am referring,' as you put it, Mrs. Hughes, because if you truly have no idea, then you must be the blindest woman on earth!"

Elsie just laughed and shook her head, marching down the hall toward the blessed peace that her sitting room would offer. Here we go, she thought. Back to 'normal' indeed … and God help us all.

Anna knocked gently on the sitting room door. "Come in," Elsie called.

"Oh, is it ever so good to see you seated in that chair instead of me!" Anna said. Elsie noticed that Anna looked absolutely exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes. She wondered for the first time if being both lady's maid and housekeeper for a few days had been too much for Anna, especially so soon after having been ill. She motioned for the younger woman to sit in an empty chair, and noticed that Anna almost collapsed into it. My, my. She looks as though she's not slept a wink.

"I'm sure you did very well, Anna. The ledgers are flawless and everything looks just as I left it." She needed a deep breath for the next bit, but she managed to continue, "Anna, I truly cannot thank you enough for filling my shoes these past few days … and evenings," she said quietly, glancing at the floor. You will NOT blush, Elsie Hughes … damn. Futile thought, really. You should have known.

Anna pretended not to notice. "Mrs. Hughes, after all you and Mr. Carson have done to support myself and Mr. Bates over the years, this was the very least I could do. It was nothing, really. We owe you so very much."

Elsie looked back at Anna, hearing the catch in the young woman's voice. She watched Anna furiously wipe away tears, knowing that Anna was disappointed with herself for falling apart. There was just so much emotion built up in that girl that was always on the verge of overflowing. Is it any wonder, Els? The girl has been through her own hell and come back, time and time again. She's at least as strong as you, and probably a great deal more.

Elsie reached over and took Anna's hand. "You owe me nothing, Anna. Truly."

Anna just nodded. When Elsie moved to pour her a cup of tea, however, she declined politely. "No, I think I'll pass. But thank you."

Elsie looked at her curiously. "But, Anna, you barely had anything at breakfast either. You're not falling ill again, are you?"

Anna looked at the floor, and whispered quietly, "No … I'm certain that I'm not ill."

Suddenly, it all clicked into place for Elsie. The fatigue she'd noticed in Anna lately, the overflowing emotions, the lack of appetite, the utter lack of color in the woman's face. "Oh, Anna! You didn't have the flu at all, did you?"

Anna looked up at her and gave her a half-smile. "No, but it was a wonderful coincidence, wasn't it? No one knows but Mr. Bates and Lady Mary, but I did plan to tell you this morning as well. Lady Mary suggested we wait to tell everyone else, just for another month or so to be sure everything is progressing as it should. I've an appointment with Dr. Clarkson today, actually, but he assured me at the last one that things look good." She paused. "It took such a very long time, I was beginning to think it would never happen for us."

"Yes, well, you've been through a lot recently. From what I gather, worry is not conducive to becoming pregnant."

Rising suddenly from her seat, Elsie enveloped Anna in a huge hug. "I'm so happy for you!" she said. "Thank you so much for telling me."

"I'd have done so even if you weren't my superior, Mrs. Hughes," Anna told her, tearing up once again. "You're like a mother to me," she whispered. "I so hope you'll be part of our child's life."

With that, Elsie teared up herself. Again ... sigh. "The feeling is mutual, Anna," she whispered back. "This bairn of yours is going to be very well-loved, indeed."

A wee one at last, Elsie thought. Oh, my darling girl … thank you for bringing me such wonderful news.

As each woman took her seat again, Anna asked, "Mrs. Hughes?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"You may tell Mr. Carson, if you wish. Mr. Bates and I trust him implicitly. But no one else must know until next month."

Elsie smiled broadly. "Oh, he will be very happy for you, Anna. But would you not rather he hear from Mr. Bates himself?"

Anna laughed. "Probably not," she said. "If Mr. Bates tells even one person about it, he'll tell them all – he's just that happy."

"Well, alright then, but only so he doesn't worry if you appear ill all the time."

The two women reviewed the past few days' worth of invoices and ledger entries, and Anna rose to leave. Elsie gave her another hug, and whispered in her ear, "I cannot tell you enough how happy I am for you, my dear girl."

Anna thanked her, and turned to leave.

"Oh, and Anna?" said Elsie.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes?"

"Watch yourself around Mrs. Patmore," said Elsie with a wink. "If she hasn't figured it out by now, she's certain to do so soon. The woman is unbelievable when she's got a bee in her bonnet, and she misses nothing."

Anna giggled. "Yes, I'm trying to avoid her at all costs!"

The rest of the day passed without incident. Charles and Elsie didn't even see each other, he being busy with the family upstairs and she getting rotas and scheduling done for the upcoming week. She hadn't thought to ask Anna to do that, and she was now grateful because it had saved Anna from more work and gave Elsie something with which to occupy her thoughts.

Elsie managed to see Anna in passing in the hallway later that day, and noticed the girl looked very pale indeed. "How was the appointment?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, it went well, I'm just exhausted," came Anna's reply. It was unlike Anna to own up to feeling weak in any way, and Elsie grasped the young woman's shoulders and turned her around, pointing her back toward the stairs.

"Go home, Anna. Get some sleep."

"But I need to dress Lady Mary, the gong's going to be rung soon," she protested.

"I'll take care of Lady Mary, and I'll dress her in the morning as well. She won't mind," Elsie insisted. At least, she'd BETTER not mind, or she'll hear of it from me.

Anna acquiesced, feeling the strain she'd been under this past week. "I had no idea how exhausted I'd feel, honestly. Dr. Clarkson insists it will pass soon, though. I'm almost through the first trimester and things should improve after that."

"Excellent," Elsie said. "Now, go! I'll inform Mr. Bates when I see him."

"Thank you," Anna replied gratefully, and she headed down the stairs.

Elsie knocked on Lady Mary's door and entered.

"Mrs. Hughes!" Lady Mary exclaimed. "Where's Anna?"

"She was exhausted after her appointment so I sent her home," Elsie replied, her raised eyebrows communicating at once that she was aware of Anna's condition.

"Ah, I see," replied Lady Mary. "Good. She's been terribly tired this week ... " Elsie noticed the woman suddenly looked horrified. "Not that I mean to say that's your fault in any way, Mrs. Hughes … but …" she stammered.

"No worry, Milady, I understand," said Elsie kindly. Lady Mary, regretting her words … will wonders never cease? "I've told Anna I'll fill in for her this evening and tomorrow morning, and I plan to do so any time she may need me to so that she can keep up her strength. I do hope that's alright with you."

Lady Mary nodded. "Yes, of course. How kind of you."

Elsie smiled, and looked her in the eyes. "Anna means a great deal to me, Milady … a great deal, indeed," she said softly.

"And to me," came the reply. "She's stood by me through some difficult times, as you well know."

Elsie buttoned the back of Lady Mary's dress, lost in her thoughts for a moment. "I'd say you've helped her just as much, though, if I may say so."

"You may, and that may well be true." After a pause, she continued. "Mrs. Hughes, I know I'm not particularly well liked below-stairs, and I admit it does not bother me greatly what most people think of me. But Anna and Mr. Carson have always supported me, and I feel very … protective … of them," she said.

Elsie bristled. "Milady?" Just what in hell is THAT supposed to mean?

"I only mean that I think we have something in common, Mrs. Hughes," said Lady Mary softly.

As Elsie moved to gather the jewelry and gloves that were to accompany the dress, she tried very hard to focus her thoughts. Well, well … protective, is she? Hmm.

Elsie moved to place the necklace over Lady Mary's head, and replied, "Yes, it seems that we do have something in common. And, Milady, if I may say so … your feelings are a credit to you."

Lady Mary blushed slightly, a sight that Elsie never thought she'd see in all her years on this earth. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Milady, I need to thank you for your support for me as well," Elsie began. "I cannot possibly express how much easier my trip home was thanks to the comforts that you provided. It was most generous of you."

"Mrs. Hughes, you're a valued member of this household and, as I said in my note, I understand how painful it is to lose one's sister." She faltered a bit, but gathered herself. "It was my pleasure to do what I could."

"Yes, well, thank you again," Elsie replied. Don't let this become awkward, Els. "If there's nothing else?"

"No, that will be all. Thank you, Mrs. Hughes."

Elsie nodded and left. Heading down the hall, she was stunned to almost run into Charles. "Els- … Mrs. Hughes?" he stammered softly, kicking himself for almost using the familiar name that he was already used to saying. "Whatever are you doing up here?" Oh, truly, could you have made that sound any more awful, old man? "I mean … "

Elsie smiled, briefly touching his hand in the otherwise empty hallway. "I understood what you meant, Mr. Carson. I've sent Anna home early as she wasn't feeling well, and I've just left Lady Mary."

Charles raised his eyebrows. "Really? And how did that go?" he asked with a tinge of amusement, knowing full well there was no love lost on the part of one Scottish housekeeper for his favorite Crawley daughter.

Elsie just smiled. "Quite well, actually. I'm not sure, but I think I've made a friend. Or, at the very least, an ally. It appears that we have some things in common."

"Oh, I know that you do," he replied with a smirk. Intelligent mind, fiery temper, sharp tongue, occasional lack of self-confidence ... "Will I see you later this evening?" I hope so, please say yes …

Elsie nodded and then, remembering the vent in the wall of her parlour, said "Your pantry, I suggest?"

Charles understood immediately. "Yes, that would be best from now on, I think. I'll see you then," he replied softly, placing his hand on her arm and squeezing it gently before heading off to serve dinner.

Charles headed into the dining room, pleased to be resuming his normal role in the household after a week of only sporadically overseeing dinner service. He'd recently been entertaining thoughts of retiring, but Elsie had said she wasn't ready and he wouldn't dream of leaving without her. At least with them both in the house they saw each other often enough, able to share most meals together and their "wee bit of sherry," as she put it. No, if he retired without her he'd only be pacing a path in the kitchen floor as he waited for her to get home every night.

Taking things a little too far, too fast there, eh old boy? Charles had to keep reminding himself that there was no plan, per se, for the cottage. They'd have to discuss what to do: rent it out for now to a family, perhaps for a year or two, maybe longer? There was no plan for retirement yet, and no plan for where to take their new-found relationship, either. And whose fault is THAT? Charles knew it would be up to him to propose marriage, but it was definitely too early. He kept forgetting that the new, affectionate relationship he shared with Elsie was barely a day old; in many ways, it felt as though they'd already been married for years. He certainly felt as though he'd been waiting for her his entire life, but he knew deep down in his heart that she'd been waiting forever for him … for him to realize his own feelings at last, and to take the first step.

Charles had always been able to oversee dinner with a split mind: attention on the family – 'More wine, Milord?' – taking up one half, and his own thoughts occupying the other. The entire family was seated around the table this evening, including the Dowager, Lady Rosamund and Mrs. Crawley. Charles had expected Lady Rosamund to be there, given the troubles with plumbing at her own home, but the older ladies were a last-minute addition. Funny, they seem to be spending a great deal of time together lately … I wonder what that's about. Charles was amused to see the two of them getting on so well. He secretly thought it good that the Dowager had a friend to keep her on her toes and marveled at how the two women would stand up for one another at times when no one expected it of them. Mrs. Crawley's care of the Dowager during her illness was surely the first step on that path. I thought we would lose her then for sure … thank God for Mrs. Crawley. It comforted him to know that he wasn't the only one who worried about the formidable matriarch.

Charles noticed that the family was finishing up, and arranged for the wine to be taken away. He knew Lord Grantham and Mr. Branson would likely retire to the library, and he was somewhat surprised at his disappointment in that. The library had always been a refuge for Charles, its books a reminder of the days he'd spent lost in history and literature because the real world was too stark and lonely. He'd valued Lord Grantham's kindness in lending books to his staff, and despite all his years at Downton, Charles knew he'd never be able to read half of all it contained. Tonight, though, he didn't feel the draw that the library had so often produced. Now he was hearing a new siren song in his head and heart, one that soothed to his frequent feelings of loneliness in the way that books and history never did; it was a much more personal (much more passionate) song. He couldn't wait to be finished with his duties so that he could see his Elsie again. To hold her hand, to hold her in my arms, that's all I want.

It was an unbearably long time standing at attention in that library.

A knock sounded on the door to the butler's pantry and Charles picked his head up quickly, expecting to see Elsie walking into the room. Instead, he was surprised to see Lady Mary.

Standing quickly, he said, "Good evening, Milady. What brings you down here at this hour? Surely you could have rung for me?"

"Please, Carson, sit." He did, and she took the chair opposite him. "I'm on an errand for Grandmama, if you must know. She pulled me aside after dinner, and asked me to give you this," she said, handing him a small box. "I've no idea what it contains, but it looks to be very old. I asked if there was a message to go with it. All she said was that you'd know what it was, and to tell you 'It's time.'"

Charles looked at the parcel in his hand, turning it over slowly. It was a wooden box, hand-hewn, about the size of his hand, and was very old indeed. "Oh, my goodness," was all he said.

Lady Mary saw the look on Charles's face and wanted desperately to enquire as to its reason, but she kept silent. It appeared as if she'd lost him for a minute; his eyes were on the box in his hand but his thoughts were clearly very far away. She sat there watching him, feeling as though she were intruding on something very private. Leave it to Grandmama to ask me to carry out a mysterious errand. But why on earth would she have something in her possession that Carson clearly recognizes? I've certainly never laid eyes on it.

Charles suddenly came out of his reverie, placing the box in his desk drawer. "Thank you, Milady," was all he said, clearly indicating that the matter was not one he wished to discuss. He fervently hoped she'd have the tact to realize he was not interested in talking about it, and thankfully she seemed to understand.

"You're very welcome, Carson." Then, an amused look in her eye, "It seems Mrs. Hughes is settling back in nicely? I had the chance to speak with her this afternoon – Anna is ill once again."

"Yes, so I heard, Milady. I do believe Mrs. Hughes is happy to be back, yes. Her voyage was long, and … difficult."

"She has no family remaining, does she?" Lady Mary thoughtfully asked. "That just occurred to me. How sad, truly."

Charles had entertained the same thought, but hadn't spoken of it aloud. "Yes, her parents are long gone and Becky was her only sibling." He felt as though he was walking a fine line, knowing Elsie didn't discuss her private life with anyone but also knowing what he shared wasn't exactly a secret.

"Well, then," she continued, "it's no wonder why she seems so happy here." With a smile, she rose, and Charles stood and walked her to the door.

"Have a good evening, Milady," was all he said.

"Good evening, Carson."

After finishing her work for the day, Elsie headed briskly downstairs. As she approached the butler's pantry, she heard the familiar tinkling of glasses and a decanter. She knocked on Charles's door and immediately entered the room, a broad smile on her face that faltered when she saw him. Oh, Elsie … he looks exhausted.

Charles looked up and his face broke into a smile, erasing at once all of the fatigue she'd seen seconds ago. He pointed at the door, indicating that she should close it. She did, and before she could even turn around she felt warm, strong arms encircling her waist and the wonderful feeling of his head resting on hers.

"Well, isn't this a lovely welcome?"

He chuckled softly. "Not as lovely as the woman who just walked through my door," he replied.

"Cheeky!" Elsie sighed the happiest of sighs, still struggling to wrap her head around how quickly the butler had fully transformed into the man she loved. It had taken years for her to chip away at the wall that had held him back, and while she wasn't sure what the final, successful strike against it had been, she was grateful, oh yes, eternally grateful that it had happened. When it fell for good, a deluge of love had burst forth from him and had swept her away, and Elsie knew it would continue to carry her for the rest of their lives. They stood like that for a while, each enjoying the feel, warmth, and scent of the other.

Elsie knew some might think it ridiculous that she felt so certain, that perhaps she was moving too quickly, counting on a future that had never been discussed. But Elsie knew that their future would not be built on one specific set of words, on one particular proposal. No, theirs was a future that was being constructed slowly over the course of decades: it was a quilt stitched together of caring thoughts, words and deeds, of arguments and reconciliations, of support through tough times, and reassuring words in times of weakness, of laughter and lively banter, of the buttering of her toast and the making of his tea.

And if she did happen to doubt the surety of his feelings, she would only have to remember Charles's purchase of the cottage by the lake. That gesture alone spoke volumes of what he desired for his own future; he'd never have purchased a home for himself that was so clearly chosen with her in mind, childhood home or not. The place didn't have many happy memories for him, and she knew he hoped to replace the unhappy ones with better times ahead. Yes, they were on the cusp of much bigger and better things. Retirement, when he's ready … marriage, when he gets around to proposing … Elsie knew in her heart of hearts that despite what she had told Charles, she'd leave the house and her job tomorrow if he asked her to, but she didn't feel that he was anywhere near ready. He'd said as much just last night. Just last night … how strange. It seems like years and years ago. Oh, to be lost in these arms every night …

Thinking a bit of distance might be more conducive to chatting, Elsie pulled herself from Charles's embrace. Distance … yes, distance is good … Turning to the table, she laughed aloud at the sight of the glasses on the tray: whiskey, of course. "I shall try not to tip out my glass this evening."

Charles laughed along with her. "For the sake of your dress, that would be wise, although I must admit I was most flattered to have captured your unwavering attention."

They settled into their seats, which Elsie noticed were now placed close enough to allow them to hold hands. She reached out and took his, caressing her thumb over the top, noticing each freckle and the texture of the skin. It is so easy to get lost in this.

Charles marveled at the change he'd felt the instant the door had closed. He felt as though he were living two lives now. He was Mr. Carson by day, in front of everyone else; he was Charles by night, and in stolen moments alone such as when he'd found her outside of Lady Mary's room this afternoon. That reminded him, "Elsie, is Anna alright?"

He was puzzled as he saw the smile come to Elsie's face. "Yes, she's quite alright. But she's very tired … and will be for the next several months or so …" she trailed off.

Charles stared at her for a moment as he pondered her words, and then a huge grin broke out on his face, one which made Elsie's heart absolutely sing. "She's … finally? A baby?" he whispered.

"Yes, Charles, they are expecting, sometime in April, I believe. No one but us, Lady Mary and Dr. Clarkson are to know yet, but in a few weeks Anna and Mr. Bates will inform the rest of the staff."

Elsie was astounded at the happiness she saw on Charles's face. She had caught him out once with little Sybbie when she was just a babe, but when she commented on it he'd chided her for her sentimentality. Still, she knew he had a soft spot for children, and that he'd been close to all three Crawley daughters as they'd grown up. Yes, he would be quite happy at the thought of a baby for the Bates family.

"I won't say a word, but I may have to congratulate Mr. Bates when I see him. Privately, of course," he said. "I wonder what their plans are."

"I've no idea," admitted Elsie. "I can't bear the thought that they'd leave, but Anna is now a lady's maid; her responsibilities do leave her some free time throughout the day, and so she may be able to work something out. She and Lady Mary are close, and I'm sure they'll manage to come to an agreement. I believe Lady Mary would do a great deal to help Anna remain by her side."

"I've heard you say more kind words about Lady Mary today than I've heard in the entire time I've known you. What's going on, Elsie?"

Elsie looked pointedly at him, and raised her eyebrows. "Let's just say Lady Mary and I are in agreement about a few things, and Anna is one of them."

"And the others?" he asked, now curious.

"Well, you may have come up in conversation. I do believe she was trying to ascertain if I planned to watch out for you … or something like that," Elsie said with a twinkle in her eye. "You know Lady Mary; she can speak volumes with just a couple of words and a look."

"Yes, much like you, isn't she?" Charles said, earning him a playful swat. Oh, but that was worth it!

Elsie just shook her head. "I hate to say so, Charles, but I'm positively exhausted."

"Then let's get you to bed," he said, then immediately blushed as he saw her expression. "That's not … I mean …" Oh, bloody hell.

Elsie's peal of laughter rang throughout the room. "I know perfectly well what you meant, Charles. And for what it's worth, you looked quite done for yourself when I walked into this room … before you successfully distracted me," she finished. "Let's go up."

"Of course. Only … may I kiss you goodnight? Here, I mean?" he asked.

Elsie said nothing, but rose from her seat and pulled him up by the hand. Placing their glasses on the tray, she turned to him and placed her hands on his chest. Looking into his eyes, she slowly raised a hand to his cheek, letting her fingers trail through the hair just above his ear and taking a moment to appreciate how distinguished the gray and white strands made him look. His hand mimicked hers, and each marveled at the warmth and closeness the gesture gave. Their lips met, softly at first, the kiss slowly increasing in intensity. After a few moments, Charles managed to tear himself away ... but only just.

"I think that will need to be enough for one night, Mrs. Hughes," he said in his best butler voice.

Breathless, Elsie just nodded, trying to force the sudden melancholic feelings down into the pit of her stomach. She knew they had to be most careful … it may feel to them as though they'd been a married couple forever, but the rest of the household must be kept in the dark until a formal proposal was made. Letting themselves get carried away would serve no good at all.

"I think it best if I head up alone."

Charles nodded, placing one last kiss to her lips. "Good night, then. Sweet dreams."

"Yes, thank you," she replied. And I can't wait to dream them.