Disclaimer: I own neither the world nor characters, but I do own the plot.

Chapter 4: What is it about unicorns?

"Let's go to the beach," Stiles said around the end of his quill as he frowned down at his essay. Something was wrong with it. He had this itching feeling that something was missing, but it was about unicorns. How much could he really write about unicorns?

Scott's head snapped up to him. Cora glanced over at him in interest. Derek ignored them, working steadily down his roll of parchment.

"What? No. Why? How would we even get to the beach?" Scott asked, still in a hazy daze from the essay he'd been making a valiant attempt to finish in one go.

Stiles raised an eyebrow at his best friend, pulling the mangled end of his quill from his mouth. "We only live fifteen miles from the beach."

"Yes, but that's back home."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"…I'm not following."

Stiles jammed his quill back into the ink well between him and Derek, spilling some over the side onto the corner of Derek's paper. He ignored the annoyed glare Derek shot him. "When we go home for the Christmas and summer break, we should camp out on the beach and have a bonfire. S'mores, bitches."

Scott shook his head. "Right, and who'd really want to go camping on the beach with us?"

"Me," Cora said, scratching out an answer so forcefully on her homework that she ripped through the parchment. She quietly cursed. "Also, what are s'mores? They sound good."

"Me," Lydia said as she slid in beside Stiles, "Sweetheart, they are the best thing you will ever have the pleasure to eat. They're roasted marshmallows and chocolate between two graham crackers. Trust me when I say that they are delicious. I would happily get fat off of them any day."

Danny laughed at Lydia, taking a seat beside Scott. "I'd like to go camping on the beach."

"Camping?" Laura interrupted with a large grin, "When? I want to come." Derek groaned loudly. She reached over his defensive arm to pluck his quill from his fingers. The writing tool nearly snapped in half.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" he snarled, narrowing his eyes at her. Suddenly, they seemed even more blue than usual.

Tilting her head to a quizzically pissed off angle, Laura glared him down, digging her fingers into his bicep. "Actually, I'm looking for a baby unicorn that wandered off. You haven't seen her, have you? I know she really likes virgin pups with big egos," she growled, somehow making her light words sound threatening. Derek winced, ducking his head. Cora, her eyes going wide, turned her gaze away in discomfort.

Stiles ignored the family spat, raising his eyebrows and grinning triumphantly at Scott. "A lot of people."

Scott sighed. "If we don't get grounded for our grades, sure, let's go camping." Stiles waved away his concerns. "Plus, it'll be cold as balls over Christmas."

Stiles laughed obnoxiously. "Cold? What's that? Anyway, we've got space heater one, two, and three with us." He spread his hand to the Hale siblings two of which smirked at him and the other of which glowered. He turned his eyes away, resisting the urge to snap out his wand that was burning a hole in his pocket, looking to throw a hex.

"Okay, but first, let's pass Defense Against the Dark Arts for this semester," Scott pleaded, looking at his essay. "What else am I supposed write? What else is there to write about unicorns?! Why do we have to write about unicorns in DADA? Why is Professor Gerard such an asshole? They're not harmful to us."

"It's because their blood can be used for multiple things, but killing a unicorn has major consequences," Stiles said absently as he twisted his paper from one side to the other. "I think there's something missing from my conclusion. Do you think Gerard would fail me if I ended my essay with 'I've found that being a unicorn myself, no one is majestic enough to ride me'?" He glanced up, watching as Scott flipped through his textbook, looking for something, anything, more that would help him. "Hey, Scott, we've still got like a week to finish this essay. Come on, guys, let's go do something that's not homework." Stiles quickly rolled his parchment and capped his quill and ink, stuffing everything into his bag.

Scott sighed in defeat, slowly cleaning up his mess of papers and books. "Like what?"

"Making amortentia and putting it in chocolates for Coach and Harris, maybe for all of the teachers if we successfully brew enough. And you know what else is happening today?" Stiles stood beside the table, waiting for all of them to stand.

"What?" Derek sighed, reluctantly sliding his scroll into his bag as Laura dragged him to his feet.

"The first Quidditch match of the year between Slytherin and Ravenclaw," Stiles said, grinning, "You two ready?" He looked to Lydia and Danny.

Lydia smiled a smile sharp enough to cut. "We should be asking you that question."

Grinning, Stiles turned and lead the group to a secret part of the dungeons he'd discovered with Scott at the beginning of the year. "Welcome to the nest of the snake. Let's get to work."

…..

"Jesus, is this what this potion is supposed to smell like?" Derek snarled, backing away from his cauldron. The three Hales had their hands pressed to their noses, glaring with watering eyes at the smoke rising from it.

Venturing over, Stiles sniffed at the smoke experimentally. He reeled back, rubbing at his nose. "Not even close. It's supposed to smell like things you're attracted to, and that smells like… burning flesh."

"Smells like wolf piss to me," Cora grumbled, pulling Stiles towards her and shoving her nose against his neck. "You smell a lot better. Kind of like butter scotch and..." Frowning, she pulled back and stared at Derek, but he didn't notice the look as he emptied the cauldron. Laura glanced between the pair before taking Cora by the arm and leading her away.

Stiles frowned. He sighed as he turned to the others. "Looks like Scott and I were the closest, but it's still not what it should be. That prank will just have to wait, I suppose." He watched as Lydia glared at her and Danny's foul smelling concoction before taking it to the sink followed by Scott. "Lydia, Danny, we should go get ready for the match. See you guys after the match."

Gathering their things, the group popped out into an empty classroom. Stiles, Lydia, and Danny took off at a sprint for the team locker rooms. The remainder, the Hales and Scott, started towards the Gryffindor common room to grab their cloaks and scarves before heading to the field.

"Scott?" Derek suddenly said, startling the trio chattering in front of him.

"Yeah?" Scott asked, falling into step beside him, looking at him curiously. "What is it?"

"Is Stiles pissed at me?" he asked, tuning his ears to his sisters as they bent their heads close.

"What was that look you gave Derek earlier?" Laura asked.

Cora glanced over her shoulder.

"What? No, why would you think that?" Scott asked, furrowing his brows.

Derek turned his eyes to the ceiling, biting his lip. Cora looked back to Laura, "It was Stiles' smell."

"What do you mean? Like… he smelled so good you wanted to jump him?" Laura sounded just this side of worried, though still not enough to joke.

"He smelled like pack, Laura. Not the kind of pack that the others smell like, but like pack back home."

"What?!" Now Laura sounded startled.

"And Derek's scent was all over him!" Cora whispered frantically, "I think Derek's been marking him!"

"Why would he do that?" Laura paused. "That was a stupid question."

Cora shook her head. "Maybe to ward off Peter, or those others we've smelt. Deucalion and his pack?"

Laura worried at her bottom lip. "That's not going to ward any of them off. It might make them want to try harder."

"Derek?" Scott tentatively touched Derek's shoulder, bringing him back to their discussion.

Shaking his head, Derek looked at Scott. Laura and Cora were stupid, delusional. Why would he mark Stiles? What reason would he have? Stiles was his friend, not his mate. He'd sooner mark Kate than Stiles, though his scent never seemed to stick to her, even after a night spent in her bed.

Frowning, he tried to remember Scott's question. "Well, he doesn't look at me like he used to. Whenever he looks at me, he always looks a bit angry. And then Professor Kate and I got attacked by these two patronuses. Stiles and Lydia are the only ones I know who can cast patronuses. And Stiles has almost hexed me on four occasions now this week."

Scott grimaced. He couldn't tell Derek about Stiles', Lydia's and Danny's discussion, or that the patronuses had been Lydia's and Stiles', or that Scott had been the only reason Stiles hadn't hexed Kate and Derek over the week. Actually, he really couldn't tell Derek anything without violating the unwritten best friend code of ethics. "Stiles is… stressing over some things that he's pissed about right now. Just, uh, give him some time. It should clear up."

"Why do I feel like you're not telling me something?" Actually, he could hear it in the stutter of Scott's heartbeat, but he didn't need to know that. "Stiles hasn't almost hexed any of the others."

"Um…" Scott hummed awkwardly, not looking at his friend, "Would you believe me if I said that I'm not at liberty to tell you the whole truth because that would violate my best friend's trust?"

Derek sighed. It looked like he was going to have to find it out another way. "Yes. I won't ask you to do that. I'll just find out from someone else."

"What are you guys doing? Hurry up!" Cora shouted, springing from behind the painting leading to the Gryffindor common room, throwing their cloaks and scarves at them.

"Let's go! The game is about to start!" Laura shouted, sprinting down the hall after her younger sister, "Run or we won't make it!"

Flinging their cloaks around their shoulders, the two boys took off after the girls.

…..

"GO STILES!" Stiles heard Scott scream from the stadiums, his voice so loud over the rest of the crowd that he had to wonder if Scott was using an amplification charm. He circled back around as Danny retrieved the Quaffle again.

He grinned as he heard the unmistakable pierce of Derek's wolf-whistle split the air. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Braedon swinging her bat at a Bludger headed his way. Above the game, Lydia chased incessantly after the Snitch, Erica close on her tail. They were nearly evenly matched.

"Stilinski!" Jackson called, the Quaffle tucked under his arm. Two Ravenclaws flanked him, watching his every move.

Stiles tore after them. Before they knew what had happened, Stiles grabbed the Quaffle from Jackson's willing fingers and sped for the goal posts. Just as Danny was lunging for the Quaffle, batting it away from the goal, all of the air was sucked from Stiles' lungs.

Black liquid instantly encroached on his vision. Slipping slowly from his broom, he heard Danny cry his name. His voice was swallowed by the crowd's roar as the commentator screamed into her mike, "Slytherin has caught the Snitch! Slytherin wins!"

Before the haze could take over his mind, he could hear Derek in the stands yelling, "Stiles!"

…..

Stiles drifted in and out of consciousness. He could see the teams leaning over him, Lydia calling his name and pressing down on his sternum rhythmically, Melissa pushing everyone out of the way. Next, he could feel warmth seeping through his team uniform, the unintelligible yells of multiple persons, the strong, frantic beat of a familiar heart beneath his ear. He almost woke fully when his clothes are being pulled from him in an attempt to open his lungs and cool his burning body, but pain shot through his body like fire and he was left gasping before the darkness took him again.

When he finally came to, he was in one of the famously uncomfortable Hospital Wing beds, his breaths coming short and shallow. His lungs felt like they'd been scorched from the inside out, or like he'd just run a marathon at full speed without stopping once. As far as he could tell, he was naked beneath the thin, white sheets, but he can't find the embarrassment to blush, not with his body feeling as if it were stuffed into the world's smallest sauna.

Sleeping with his head pillowed on his arms, Derek breathed softly, easily at his bedside. He was still in the same clothes he'd been wearing during the match, his hair hopelessly rumpled. His large hand was wrapped securely around Stiles' pinky and ring finger, and for some strange reason, Stiles' heart broke in his chest.

He didn't know why, Derek had a family who loved him dearly, friends who'd do anything for him, and yet, seeing how young and innocent and peaceful he looked, Stiles' heart shattered. "Derek," he tried to say, but his voice wasn't even a whisper. Still, Derek stirred.

"Stiles?" he breathed as he blinked sleep from his eyes, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I nearly drowned in a lake of fire," Stiles replied in his barely there voice, "Where's Scott and Melissa?"

Derek yawned, rubbing at his eyes. "Scott would have been here, but everyone was told to go to bed around ten. I snuck back after the castle had gotten quiet."

Stiles nodded. He could believe that. He had one very pressing question that needed to be answered though. "Did everyone see me naked?"

"No," Derek said with a shake of his head. Stiles sighed in relief. "Melissa had Scott and me strip you when your fever spiked. Nothing will bring it down."

"What happened? I don't remember much." He tried to ignore how his body seemed to find more blood to syphon to his cheeks for a light blush at the thought of Derek seeing him naked. He could have cared less that Scott had seen him naked. After being on the receiving end of one of Lydia's strongest sticking charms that had lasted a little over two days, the boys had had to get to know each other a little too well for their tastes. Lydia still laughed about it on occasion.

Derek pushed a hand through his hair before dropping his face into his hands. "Hex, fire based, literally burned off all of the oxygen in your lungs. Madame McCall gave you something to start healing your lungs and cast a spell to help you breath for now, but she said it could take a few days for your lungs to be back to normal. She said the fever is because the hex is still trying to work."

"Yeah, I can feel that." Stiles tried to laugh, but it only sounded like a thin stream of air whispering from his throat.

They were silent for a few moments. Finally, as he encased Stiles' hand between his, Derek murmured, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For whatever I did to piss you off," Derek whispered, "You could have died today. You could have died, and I never would have apologized. Someone… they did this knowing you could have died. They didn't care." He sounded just the slightest bit undone.

Stiles sighed inwardly, 'I guess it's not his fault that Kate is a sneaky bitch. I'd probably fall for her act too if I were in his place,' he thought to himself. "But I didn't die," Stiles said, "I'm tough like my dad." Derek didn't move. Stiles sighed again. "Hey, that chair can't be too comfortable. You can share the bed with me. There's plenty of room." Without another word, Derek crawled beneath the sheets beside Stiles.

That's how Melissa found them the next morning, Derek curled around Stiles, discreetly leeching away his pain, nose pressed into Stiles' neck, and Stiles happily passed out, dead to the world.

…..

"Scott, seriously, I can walk on my own perfectly fine, you don't have to come into the dormitories with me. I'm not going to pass out on my way there. And I'm really not feeling up to hexing someone who puts a jelly-legs curse on you again," Stiles complained as loudly as possible as they made their way to the Slytherin dormitories. Stiles had been in the Hospital Wing for the past four days, but his throat and lungs were still a little raw, and his body felt completely drained.

"But Mom said I needed to make sure you got to your dorm and to hex anyone who looked suspicious," Scott argued stubbornly.

"Scott, you'd probably end up hexing yourself," Stiles tried, but Scott continued to stare resolutely ahead. He sighed. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

The pair stopped dead in their tracks when they pushed open the door to the dormitories. Curled in Stiles' bed, the wood creaking ominously beneath its weight was a baby unicorn. It turned its head towards them and whinnied. Before it could untangle itself from Stiles' bed, Stiles slammed the door and charmed it locked with the first spell that came to mind.

"There is… a unicorn… in my bed," Stiles said slowly, eyes wide as could be, staring at the door.

Scott was the first to react, clutching his sides and sinking to the floor as laughter spilled from his mouth.

"What the fuck did you do to the door, Stilinski?" Jackson spat, jerking at the handle, "Did you use a fusing charm on it?!"

Without answering, Stiles turned and sprinted from the Slytherin common room. When he finally made it into the Gryffindor dormitories, he flung himself on top of Derek, pinning him to the bed.

"Either this is some weird form of foreplay, which I'm kinda digging, or something happened again. I'm hoping for foreplay," Derek said calmly, looking up at Stiles with a raised eyebrow.

"There's a fucking unicorn in my bed!" Stiles screeched.

"There's a unicorn in your bed every night and its name starts with an S." Derek blinked at his unchanging expression. "Why don't you ask Scott for help?"

"He's laughing himself to death in front of the door to my dorm! I don't know what to do! And don't go making jokes about my virginity, asshole! I'm working on losing it, okay?" Stiles was still shouting. He hadn't reached all caps yet, but he was working himself up to that status. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"With the unicorn or your virginity?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow. Stiles remained silent, glaring down at him. He sighed and easily pushed Stiles off. "Show me." When they got there, Derek stood in the doorway watching the unicorn happily nuzzle Stiles' head. He was trying not to laugh or even smile. "You're telling me that you are such a virgin that a unicorn came to your bed to find you," he forced through his quivering lips.

"Do something!" Stiles shouted even as he pet the creature. Derek was already no help though, sinking down against the doorframe, a hand pressed over his mouth.

In the end, they had to fetch Laura to collect the baby unicorn who reluctantly left Stiles' side. "Come see her soon or she'll bring friends next time," Laura had advised, laughter in her voice.

"Is that a threat?" Stiles had asked.

Laura has grinned a sharp toothed smile. "Possibly, but just know that all she wanted to do was help you heal."

"Thanks for making me feel like a dick."

"All part of the job."

…..

Stiles had finally discovered what was missing from his essay. Minutes before turning it in, he unrolled it across his desk and added one line. 'I have learned from recent experience, that unicorns are ridiculously attracted to virgin bisexuals, and will take over said bisexuals bed if not visited.'

Gerard had returned his essay with full marks and a lengthy paragraph laughing at Stiles' new predicament.

Well, that was fun. We'll find out who the pissbaby who did the whole lung burning thing to Stiles is in the next chapter. See you then, and I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far or just about the chapter in general!