The song for this chapter is Lauren Aquilina - Wonder

I wanted to start this chapter off by saying I continue to be grateful for every comment I receive and although not every comment is roses and peaches - and I don't expect them to be - I don't appreciate rude ones. If you don't like my fic that's perfectly fine with me. If you don't like that Iris isn't the same as the she is on the show because I made her physically stronger and more independent then stop reading this fic and go to the other ones where Iris is just a placeholder for Barry to win and love. I don't have anything against other westallen fics, but I purposefully made this one an AU (alternate universe) because I wanted the characters to be different than the show. If you don't like how I write my characters that's fine by me. If you think I write too many other pov's that's fine. That's how I write all my fics, with other character pov's. Simply because it makes for a more interesting story. In tv show's there's usually more than one pov's. Following around two characters just gets boring, in my opinion. Also, I want to be a screenwriter for tv shows so that's another reason I had other character to my fics and give them pov's. What I'm trying to say is, this is what I'm telling yall what my fic is about and if you don't feel that you're any longer interested it then I won't be offended. I just ask people not to leave rude comments. You can tell me you don't like it and I won't be offended, but if you phrase it rudely then that's when I get upset. I don't have a laptop at the moment, so it's hard for me to keep up with this, but I'll try my best. Thanks for reading :)

BARRY'S POV:

I sighed as Eddie walked towards me. "Joe's still being taken care of. He's fine. Just a scratch."

My head shook. "It's my fault. I should've been there." I put a few feet between us as I walked back and forth.

"It's not your fault, Barry. You can't control everything, save everybody. It doesn't work that way."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't change the fact that I should've been there, patrolling with you guys. This wouldn't have happened."

He neared me. "Joe was shot in his shoulder. It's not the end of the world. He'll live. Stop beating yourself up about it." He patted my shoulder.

Angrily, I shoved him back. "You don't know Joe and you don't know me. It's none of your business what I do."

"Hey, what is going on here?"

I looked up to see Iris running our way. "Nothing."

She put some space between Eddie and I, her hands on my chest. "What happened with my dad?"

I nodded towards Eddie. "Ask him, he's supposed to be his new partner."

He scowled. "Don't turn this on me. Joe's been doing this long before I came along. He can handle himself."

"So you admit you're useless?"

I knew I was being an ass to Eddie, he didn't deserve it, but I was angry.

She turned to him. "Someone just tell me if he's okay!"

Caitlin and Ronnie crowded around us.

I huffed. "He's okay. He was shot in the shoulder. He's in surgery right now."

She sighed in relief, her forehead rested on my chest. My hand went to the small of her back in comfort.

"I'm going to get coffee. Anybody want any?"

"I do," Iris pulled away and went along with Eddie.

Her absence left me feeling cold. Jealousy sprouted. They'd been spending more time together lately and I didn't think it was a problem, but he'd been there while I was gone. When she kissed me the other day I thought that it meant more. Now I wasn't so sure.

Caitlin wrapped her arms around me. "Barry, he'll be okay."

I nodded.

IRIS' POV:

When we were out of sight I pushed Eddie into the wall.

He looked surprised and a little scared. "What are you doing?"

"What did you tell him?"

"Who?"

My eyes flared. "Barry," I whispered. "Did you tell him what I've been doing?"

He shoved me off. "No, I haven't said anything. Did you just come along to interrogate me and push me into walls? Did you even want coffee?"

I gave him a look. "I'm sorry, but I can't have Barry finding out about me."

"So you attack your only alibi?" Disbelief colored his face.

I shrugged. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Maybe that's a sign you should stop this. Go about it the legal way."

Needing to get away from this conversation, I started down the hall.

"So you're just going to ignore me now? I don't know who this person is that you're turning into, but I don't like her."

My jaw hardened at the verbal slap. I turned to him, my eyes cold. "Maybe that's because you never really knew me, Eddie. I never really let you in. Not like I did Barry and that's got to eat at you. You still have feelings for me, that's why you stuck around. You could've transferred." I stepped in front of him. "But you stayed to be close to me. So how does it feel to know the girl you're in love with is into someone else?"

His mouth frowned up as he tore his gaze away with a stern nod. "You can find your own coffee." He pushed past me.

I glared in his direction as he walked away.

After a few moments disappointment replaced satisfaction. I shouldn't have said those things. But instead of going to apologize I turned around to find Barry. He stared at me with hard eyes.

"Barry, how much of that did you hear?" I took a cautionary step forward.

His eyes disappointed. "I heard enough." He took a few steps back until he was walking away.

Angry tears stung my eyes. My hand flashed out and punched the wall and went straight through. A few people scrambled away. I pulled my fist away from the wall in shock. I looked around nervously then scurried away.

Maybe I didn't need any coffee. Maybe just some water. And of course the stupid vending machine ate my money. I banged on the plastic window. "Come on."

The lights flickered above me.

My brow furrowed as I went back to beating up the vending machine. "Give me what I want," I whined.

The lights flickered again until I was surrounded by darkness.

"What's going on?" I thought out loud.

The water forgotten, I stumbled in the darkness until my eyes adjusted.

What if my dad was in some deep surgery and the doctors couldn't see and they cut him all open? Or what if he's fine and stuck in the elevator and he dies before the power comes back on? Or...I don't know!

"Barry," I whispered. I don't know why I was whispering, but it felt like a whisper atmosphere right now.

The creeps ran through me all I could hear were feet shuffling and monitors beeping. I broke into a sprint. I'd only gone so far until I was thrown into the air, I fell to the ground with a thud. I snapped my head up only to see a dark shape a few feet away. Months ago I would've cowered in the corner, I would've been too scared to do anything. Now I was excited to get in the action.

I popped up. I hadn't much thought about earlier. Whether it was a fluke or what, I wasn't sure, but I had to fight this guy. Or at least help defend the hospital against whoever he was.

He punched me in the stomach. He kicked my thigh and went for my throat, cutting off my air supply as he held me in the air. I struggled for air, making it hard to move my muscles. Quickly, I kicked my feet out, hitting his chest. His grip fell as he stumbled back. I sucked in air before grabbing his outfit in my fists.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" I demanded.

He smirked then knocked my hands away and flipped me on my back. He stabbed me in the side with something then legit disappeared into the darkness.

I scrambled to my feet, checking my body for a stab wound, but found none. How fast was this all of a sudden healing process? This was proof that I wasn't crazy. Last night I went to bed with a stomach wound and this morning I'm all better. What the fuck?

The lights flickered back on after a moment. Everyone seemed disoriented. Despite there being no wound, my side throbbed. With a sigh, I rounded the corner.

Barry headed my way with an intent scowl. When he saw me he stopped. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I glanced behind me. "Some-" I clamped my mouth shut. The last thing he needed was to worry about me any more than usual.

"What?" He stayed a few feet back.

"Uh, I thought I saw something, but it was nothing." I gave a hopefully convincing half grin. "About earlier," My eyes searched his. "I didn't want you to find out like that."

He shook his head. "You mean, you didn't want me to find out at all."

I neared him. "That's not it..." Our eyes met and I sighed. "You're right. I didn't want you to know at all."

He turned away and started down the hall.

I pulled him back. "I knew you would try and stop me."

He shook my arm off and took a few steps back. "I knew that you were training at the gym, I supported that. What I don't support is you going behind my back and trying to fight crime like you're some kind of vigilante. You're not prepared for that. You could've seriously gotten hurt, Iris."

I didn't want to out Oliver because he made me promise not to tell Barry, but I have a feeling Barry would find out regardless. He wasn't finding out from me today though. And it wasn't like I could tell him I was spontaneously healing. Who would believe that? Okay, maybe he would. But for all I know it could be a fluke or I could be losing my mind.

His distraught face came into view. "If you had come to me about this I would've supported you."

Anger flashed through me. "Bullshit and you know it. You would've done everything in your power to stop me. Why? Because I'm a girl?!"

"Because I'm in love with you, Iris! When are you going to get that into your thick head?" He lowered his voice. "I'm in love with you and I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want to see you fall down or cry or kill someone because you have to in self-defense. I just can't. And the fact that you don't get that is-"

My finger mushed his mouth. "Shut up for a second. I know that you're in love with me. I don't doubt it. Every time you look at me I can feel it, I feel it so deep in my bones that it scares me because I never thought anyone would feel that way about me, or that I would feel the same way."

His green eyes glazed over.

I removed my finger and let my hand slid down to his. "You made me love you, you didn't even give me a choice. You're in my bones, too." I bit my lip nervously. "I'm in love with you, I can't stand to have you hate me right now. I need your support on this, Bear."

After a moment, he said, "You can understand why I can't support this. Your words: this doesn't seem like a good idea."

I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass.

My eyes rolled. "That was different."

He gave me a look. "How so?"

"I don't know, it just was." I scratched my side, the pain now replaced with an itch. My eyes stayed on his. "Please, don't tell my dad, Barry."

He shook his head. "How can you ask me that? How am I supposed to keep something like this from him when I don't agree with it?"

I took a nervous step forward. "Because you want what's best for me. You know with enough training I could make a difference out there."

He still looked skeptical.

"Please, Bear. We can do this together. Just give me some time. I promise you, I won't go back out there. I'll wait." My eyes begged his.

With a clenched jaw, he nodded once. "Give me some time to think about it."

A small relieved grin found my lips as I wrapped him a hug. "Thank you."

"I'm still upset with you." He pulled me closer.

I nodded. "I know."

Technically, I was still mad at him about the Thea thing and, well, that was it.

BARRY'S POV:

My phone rang while we waited.

I looked to Iris, "I'll be back in a few."

She nodded, then turned to Caitlin, Cisco, Linda, and Ronnie.

I raced outside to find Oliver and Felicity deep in conversation. Only Felicity wasn't Felicity. All I could do was stare at her. So I guess the makeover Linda and Iris forced upon her stuck.

"Hey," I grinned awkwardly. My eyes wouldn't look away from her legs in those skin tight blue jeans.

"Eyes up here, nerd." She laughed.
My head shook. "Sorry, you look very appealing."

She chuckled and Oliver gave me the stink eye.

"Yes, she does. Can we move on now?"

I held my hands up in caution. "Yeah." I offered an apologetic grin.

Oliver rolled his eyes, but I knew he wasn't really upset at me. "We'll be in town for a few days. Merlyn spotted a league member in town and Palmer Technologies wants to talk business. I'll help you keep an eye on things."

I nodded. "Okay, thanks."

If there was a league member in town then they wanted blood, right? Now was not the time to have Iris out in the streets. She promised me that she'd wait, but I wasn't so sure I could trust her about that.

"We're only a phone call away." Felicity added with a half grin. She moved to hug me, but I side stepped her. "Probably best not to touch."

Oliver's jaw hardened. "Barry, we'll call you. Give Joe my regards." He pulled Felicity along as they headed down the street.

"Bye, Barry." Felicity waved.

When I returned everyone was inside the room, Joe sat on the bed looking like death. I could feel the sadness in the room.

"Hey, Joe," I greeted as I came to stand next to Cisco and Linda. Caitlin and Ronnie stood a few feet back. They didn't know Joe as well.

I could see that there was something wrong with him, but no one said anything. He gave his best smirk.

"How you feeling?" My hand grabbed his as I leaned down to give him a hug.

"Never better."

I nodded. "So the surgery went as planned. When can you go home?"

The sadness in the room intensified. I looked around and everyone then back at Joe.

He cleared his throat. "They want to keep me another day or two. Make sure I'm okay." He looked out to the hall, not meeting my eyes. "Enough about me. How are you guys?"

"Are you going to be out of here by Christmas?" I asked.

"I don't know."

My forehead creased. "Why don't you know?" My voice rose.

"Barry," Iris warned.

My eyes wouldn't meet hers. "What?" All the anger and mistrust I had earlier manifested again.

"Getting mad won't change anything."

"I should've been there."

Joe shook his head. "Come on, now. This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known." He mirrored what Eddie had said earlier.

My eyes met his. "I should've been there."

Cisco squeezed my shoulder.

"What happens next time? You die. I can't protect you all the time, I know that. But you're all that I have left. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I realized I was talking to both Joe and Iris in that moment and I'd never been more scared. My jaw clenched as I hesitantly looked at Iris. She looked beyond nervous that I'd spill the beans on her. I should, Joe deserved to know. Her eyes begged me to keep quiet.

"Would you all mind giving me a moment alone with my children," Joe requested.

They left the room after a moment and it was just us.

Joe looked between us with narrowed eyes. "Alright, what's going on with you two?"

Here was my chance. It'd be so easy to take it. I honestly didn't care if Iris got mad at me, at least she'd still be alive. But something in me wouldn't let it come out.

My eyes went to the floor. "Nothing."

"Iris?" Joe asked.

"Like Barry said, nothing."

He made a disapproving noise. "I know when you two aren't telling me the truth, so I'll ask again. What's going on?"

I looked up at Iris, she bit in her bottom lip. Could she not? I didn't want to find her attractive right now, I wanted to be mad at her.

I leaned on the bed railing. "Nothing we can't figure out." I added.

He looked between the two of us again. "If you say so. Cisco and Linda can spend the night if you want." He nodded at me.

"Thanks." We said simultaneously.

In my absence I was glad that Cisco and Iris had gotten close. Now he was as much as her friend as he was mine. Plus, her and Linda were on good terms. What more could I ask for?

"So can Caitlin and Ronnie." He told Iris.

"Come here," He gestured for us to lean down.

Iris and I hugged him tight. That was the closest I felt to her within the last few days.

"I'm going to be fine, no need to worry." He patted my back. "Where's Eddie?"

We pulled away.

"Uh, he went to the cafeteria, I think. He said he wanted to be alone." Iris lied.

Any joy I had left at her lie. Why couldn't she just tell the truth?

She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Okay. You two should be on your way. If I'm not out by tomorrow then we could just order food for Christmas dinner."

Iris waved him off. "Nonsense. You will be home and we'll have a normal Christmas dinner. All of us." She gave a weak smile that didn't reach her eyes and for the first time I saw how scared she was about Joe being here.

"Joe," Eddie stood in the door.

I leaned down for another hug and headed for the door. I patted Eddie on the shoulder, he didn't deserve what Iris said to him. He was actually a decent guy.

"We'll check on you in the morning." I told Joe.

"Get some sleep." He demanded.

Iris struggled to keep up with my long strides. She pulled my arm back. "I thought we were cool. What was that?"

I didn't want to be the bad guy right now, I wanted to comfort her because we were both terrified that something more could happen to Joe, but I couldn't ignore that she lied to me. She didn't trust me. Now I truly knew how she felt when I came back.

"I'll keep your secret, but don't expect me to be happy about it." My eyes stared at her. "When Joe finds out, and he will find out, you better come up with a really good lie because I'm not taking the blame for this."

There was a fire behind her eyes that I hadn't seen since half a year ago. "You arrogant, sexist, asshole." She spat. "You still think because I'm a girl that I can't handle it as best as you can. Well, newsflash, Barry. The Black Canary could probably kick your ass."

My eyes narrowed. "How do you know about the Black Canary?"

She stilled. Her eyes went to the side.

I took hold of her arm. "Have you been training with Oliver?" I fought to keep control of my voice.

She tore her arm away. "What? No." A lie clearly in her voice.

"You know, Eddie was right. I don't know who you are anymore."

The unmistakable look of hurt crossed her face. She gave a tight grin.

"I'm going to spend the night at Caitlin's." She pushed past me without another word.

I let her go without another word. We need some space, time apart.