Apologies for not updating for a while. I'm back at school full time along with my job so it's been crazy trying to find time to write that wasn't educational. Anyway, thanks for the continued support, yall are all bae! Also, I know there has to be typos in this because it's almost 2am, I promise I'll get to them later with a fine toothed comb.

The song for this chapter is Sia - Breathe Me

IRIS' POV:

Fuming, I ran towards the mma gym even though I was sure it was closed. What Barry said was fresh in my mind. How dare he? How could he say that to me after all that we've been through? He doesn't like who I've become, well same to you. Well, not exactly true, but I was fucking upset. So I had no choice but to be mad at him.

The doors were locked as I panted in front of the gym. Fuck. Without a second thought, I headed towards town. Screw Barry's opinion and his sexist rules. I'll do what I want when I want.

If I want to defend the city, I'll fucking defend the fucking city. He didn't own me. Neither did Oliver. He'd understand. I can't sit cooped up with his much anger inside of me. I had to do something with it. I had to save somebody with it. I just didn't know where to start. I figured trolling the streets would get my ass caught. So I went up to the roof of Jitters and attempted to focus my hearing. Whatever that was happening to me did heighten my any other abilities besides healing. My fist was just as angry as I was in the hospital and it didn't take much to crack it through the wall. I was sure I'd have to bandage it before my dad saw, but it was gone soon enough.

Needless to say, I thought I looked pretty silly on the rooftop like Batman, but what other alternative was there? After a few minutes I was about to give up and just run some more when I heard for help. I didn't have the super speed like Barry to charge down the side of the building so I did it the human way. I took the stairs.

First of all, I had no idea where the scream came from. I wasn't that good. Yet.

No one stopped me and asked what I was doing, so I guess my incognito runner's outfit worked. Maybe I looked just psychotic and not like a vigilante.

The voice screamed again. Sounded like a woman's, young and scared, and I had the ability to do something about it. So I ran until I saw some girl crawling away from someone in a black hoodie.

"Hey," I charged him. "Get away from her.". I shoved the guy back and pulled the girl away.

The guy ran away without a word. The girl sobbed as she bent on her knees.

"It's okay, he's gone." I knelt down in front of her. "You're safe now."

She looked up at me with smudged mascara running down her pale face. "No," Spencer registered me as I did the same. "Iris, what are you doing here?" She stood to her feet, wiping her face. "You can't be here. He'll use you. Leave, you have to leave me alone." She shied away, her body shaking in her navy blue peacoat.

"What are you talking about? You're fine now. No one's going to hurt you."

She walked past me. "You don't understand."

I grabbed her arm. "Then help me understand. What just happened?"

"It's none of your business, Iris. Just leave it alone." She yanked her arm away and headed for the street.

"Spencer!"

She whirled around. "You don't know me and you don't know my situation, so stay out of it or you'll be next."

With that weighing on me, I let her go. You couldn't help everybody, true, but this was Spencer. She helped me become stronger and I couldn't just not help her. Toby. I'd call him and he'd know what to do.

I pulled out my phone as I headed for the streets, then all of a sudden my phone wasn't in my hand anymore, it was stuck in the side of the building with a big arrow through it. My jaw clenched as I looked up to see the Arrow scaling down the building across from me.

"I thought we had this conversation before." He demanded as he neared me.

"Why are you following me?"

"Someone has to so you don't get killed." He challenged.

I shook my head. "I can take care of myself."

"I'm not doubting that you can, but this isn't the way to go about it. You're not ready."

Folding my arms across my chest, I said, "I was out for a run and I heard a scream. I knew the girl. Was I supposed to just walk away and not help her? Wait for you or Barry to come save the day?"

He gave a surprising half grin. "When you put it like that, I see your point. But you're still not trained to be out here."

I took a step forward. "So stop talking and teach me."

He sighed. "I can't. Not anymore."

Disbelief rose in me. "What?" I poked his chest. "You promised, you promised me, and you promised Felicity. Are you really going to break her trust to protect me? I'm a nobody, my life is really inconsequential compared to Felicity's trust, you know."

He held up a hand for me to stop. "I said I couldn't train you, I didn't say you weren't going to get training."

My brow furrowed. "Then who's training me?"

"The Black Canary."

My eyes widened. "Really?" Excitement filled me.

He nodded once.

"Wait, why can't you do it anymore?"

He took a few steps back. "Let's just say that The Flash really cares about you."

The mention of Barry gave me a rush of frustration and love. He was an idiot and I shouldn't have called him sexist because I know he wasn't. I just wanted him to accept me, whoever I was turning into, and he wouldn't. I wanted him to see me equally. Someone he could talk to about all of this, but if he couldn't make peace with me doing this alongside him then I don't know where that leaves us.

"Hey, you owe me a new phone." I told the Arrow.

"Bill me."

My eyes rolled. Who would've thought I'd be in the inner circle of superheroes and vigilantes? It was pretty darn cool.

I made it to Caitlin's apartment eventually. I wasn't sure how, I must've walked on autopilot. My brain was reeling from everything that had happened in the past forty-eight hours. How I got stabbed by Peekaboo, how I healed myself, how my dad was in the hospital and things were worse than he was letting on, how I yelled at Eddie, how Barry couldn't even look at me. I didn't know what was happening around me, only that I was the problem.

The door opened and Caitlin stood on the other side, worry in her eyes. She pulled me close and squeezed me tight.

"I'm so glad that you're okay."

Tears stung my eyes and there wasn't an ounce of self control left in me, I sobbed in chest, my body wracked her arms. I wasn't okay. I was a mess.

She brought me to her bed, pulled the covers over us. Eventually, I told her everything that was going on with me with minimal crying until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

CAITLIN'S POV:

When I was sure Iris was out cold I crept out to the hall. Ronnie was in the kitchen by the stove.

"What are you making?" I whispered.

He turned towards me, his baby blue eyes burning into mine. "Hot chocolate, thought you two could use some."

A smile tugged at my lips. "You didn't have to do that."

He grinned. "It's just chocolate, Cait."

I leaned against the island. "No kettle?" I looked up at him with hope. "Did you use your powers?"

He chuckled. "No, I used the microwave."

A blush covered my cheeks. "Oh."

"It's okay," He handed me the steaming mug by the by the base as if it didn't burn him, which I knew it didn't. "I'm getting better at handling the fire. Thanks for the confidence boost."

I took a sip and boy could he make good cocoa. "No problem."

"How is she doing?" He leaned next to me.

I sighed as I looked up at him. "Not great. There's just so much going on right now and Barry not approving of her choice of night time fun doesn't help anything."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

My head shook. "No, I don't think it'll do any good. He's dead set on not wanting Iris to be a vigilante."

"I can't much blame him."

I shot him a look. "Excuse me?"

His blue eyes burned into mine. "I wouldn't want the girl I'm in with to put her life in danger every night either. I'd go crazy thinking about it." His eyes scanned my face.

My heart sped up in my chest, when he said things like that it was hard not to feel like he

talking about us, about me. What scared me was that I wanted him to be talking about us. We couldn't go there, everything was at risk if I let myself admit that I wanted Ronnie.

"I guess we both have that problem, being that I'm a lesbian." I gave an awkward chuckle as I averted my eyes.

"Right." He said, disbelievingly.

The doorbell rang. Ronnie and I shared a look as he went to open the door.

Barry stood at the other side. "Is she here?" He pushed past Ronnie.

"Yeah," I stepped in front of him. "She's sleeping."

He headed for the rooms.

"Barry, she doesn't want to see you."

He stopped and turned to me. "I don't care, I just need to see her."

I grabbed his wrist and tugged him forward. I opened my bedroom door enough so he could see her sleeping, and then I closed the door quietly.

"Happy now?" I whispered.

He shook his head. "I said some awful things to her. She needs to know I'm sorry."

My arms folded across my chest as I tilted my head. "Are you?"

He sighed. "Look, what's going on with Iris is between the two of us. We both said some things we probably shouldn't have. I just want to make things right, is that too much to ask?"

No, it really wasn't.

"Tonight it is. Let her rest. She's been through a lot the last few days, her getting stabbed really help anything-" I clamped my mouth shut as I realized the mistake I made.

Barry stared back at me with narrowed eyes, a fire blazing behind them directed at me as if this was all somehow my fault. "She what?"

I took a step back and kept my mouth shut.

Ronnie stepped in front of Barry, being a protective barrier. "I think it's time for you to leave, Allen." He demanded.

Barry gave him an incredulous look before meeting my worried gaze. "Tell her I stopped by, please."

I nodded as he turned to leave.

Thinking back to all those months ago when I first met him, I had no idea that any of us would be here. That Barry and Iris would have this epic disastrous love, that I'd come to care about Ronnie as much as I did, that my friends would be superheroes, vigilantes. That I'd feel this cold amongst friends.

BARRY'S POV:

I think I'm going crazy. All I could think about was Iris. How I didn't trust her, how she things started to not add up, how I loved her, how crazy she made me, how I believed in her, and how I didn't want to see her fail. I knew without a doubt that she wouldn't just fail if she pursued this vigilante dream of hers, she'd die. She wasn't as fast as me. She wasn't as skilled as Oliver. Or as dark as Laurel. If given the choice, she wouldn't kill someone to save herself, she didn't have a bad bone in her body. Still, she wanted to do this, to be apart of this. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out why it was so important to her.

Eddie had the right idea when he told her to join the police force or to become a lawyer. She could be a firefighter or a judge. All of which were less dangerous than her becoming a vigilante. Why couldn't she see that? I could care less that she was a girl. Hell, Laurel was one of the better vigilantes I've seen. I knew for a fact, she could kick my ass if I didn't use my speed. But Iris was different. She was important. I needed her to be safe and wouldn't take that as a good enough reason to stay away from it. She was too stubborn for her own good.

I rounded the corner to the steps, there was no use in taking the elevator, when I was knocked unconscious.

My eyes peeled open as I inhaled the dank smell of mold and beer. Where was I? My hands were tied behind my back with rope, my legs tied to the chair as I sat in a steel chair.

"I want to chat," A voice said. "I hope you don't mind, the place is a little messy."

I found Tony standing a few feet away, a smirk on his face. Was he on steroids?

"What am I doing here, Tony?" My mind went to the worst. "Where's Iris?"

He chuckled. "Relax, Allen. All of my attention is on you tonight. She'll get hers." He squatted in front of me.

I struggled against the rope. "You touch her and I'll kill you."

He grinned. "I'm sure you couldn't. On the other hand, I'm sure you could get out of those ropes easy enough."

I stared at him. "What are you talking about? Why am I here?" I struggled some more.

"Come on, Allen. You're smarter than that, Mr. Forensic Scientist. You have to know that I know you're The Flash. Why else would you be here?"

My body stilled. How'd he know?

He laughed. "You should see your face right now, Allen." He rose from his crouch. "The way you came to save Iris, the way you always tried to protect her in middle school. I knew it had to be you."

I shook my head. "You're wrong. How could I be The Flash? I was at home when you had her at the school."

"I know how fast you can be, I don't buy that. So, here's the plan." He pointed up at the ceiling."

All the breath left me.

"I'm going to drop that box of knives and sharp objects on top of you and you're going to flash out of the way, then we're going to fight. See who the real God is."

My head shook. "You're crazy, how is this going to prove anything? I'll die!"

"I guess we'll find out."

I struggled against the ropes. "You can't do this! This is murder!"
He shrugged. "At least there won't be anything standing in the way of Iris."

My jaw clenched as I pulled away from the rope, but nothing happened. Think.

"Looks like you were born to take a beating, Allen." He reached for a rope that had to be connected to the box of sharp things.

Before I could know what I was doing, my body shook and the ropes burned through from the friction. As soon as everything dropped I was across the room.

Tony stared back at me. "There's my boy."

I glared at him, my heart raced. "I'm not your boy."

He shrugged.

"I'm giving you one last chance, Tony, to walk away."

A smirk took over his face. "Not even."

"You know, I think you don't want this fight to happen," I neared him. "Because if you never fight me you can always tell yourself that you beat me."

He wiped at his nose. "Interesting theory, but I think you're stalling. You're scared, not me."

My fist balled at my sides. "It doesn't have to be like this, Tony. You don't have to be one of the bad guys."

His entire body turned to steel. "Yeah, I do." He came for me.

I ran out of the way, too fast for his steel punches. "That all you got?"

IRIS' POV:

Barry's presence woke me from my sleep. I knew without a doubt. But why? I just need to see her." I learned him say from the hall.

My heart pounded in my chest. Please, don't let him in here, Cait. I don't want him to see me like this.

"I don't care," I heard Barry say. "I just need to see her."

A few seconds later the door opened and I pretended to be asleep. Don't come in, I begged. Thankfully, the door shut. I gave it a few seconds before I jumped and pressed my ear to the closed door.

"Happy now?" Caitlin asked him.

"I said some awful things to her, she needs to know I'm sorry."

My heart squeezed. Maybe I should go out there. I needed to apologize to him, too. This wasn't one sided. But we did need to give this whole thing some room to breathe.

I heard Ronnie tell him he had to leave. When the front door closed my moment went. I cracked the door open, Caitlin and Ronnie turned to me.

"Thanks." I offered a weak half grin.

Caitlin nodded. "You hungry?"

"No, but I should eat something."

"Want me to make you something?" Ronnie offered.

"No," Caitlin and I begged simultaneously.

His blue eyes widened with a tinge of sadness. "Geez, okay."

"Sorry," Caitlin patted his shoulder.

I went to the drawer with all the takeout menus. "What are we in the mood for? Thai or Chinese?"

They shrugged while Ronnie looked sad.

"Hey," She hugged his side. "The hot chocolate was amazing."

My eyes scanned the room. "There was hot chocolate?"

Caitlin laughed. "Here you go." She passed me a still hot mug.

After the food came and we stuffed ourselves, Caitlin went to take a shower. Ronnie and I cleaned up the plates and trash. "Iris," He said while we dumped the trash in the dumpsters outside. His eyes were serious, which was rare for him. "You know you're my friend, right?"

I nodded with a slight grin. "Yeah, why?"

"Because what I'm about to say comes from a place of friendship, but also from a place of being a guy." He made an awkward face. "Barry was kind of an ass to you earlier, sure, but you get where he's coming from, right?"

I nodded. "Sure, but, that doesn't mean he's right."

"You know, when I met you for the first time I wanted to sleep with you."

My eyes narrowed. "Is there a point to this talk?" I placed my hands on my hips as we stood in the alley.

He grinned. "I mean, I told Barry as much and he about threatened to castrate me. He said that you were special. In case you haven't noticed, if a guy says you're special it means he doesn't want anything getting in the way of you being together. You know that this path you're going down is dangerous, right?"

A sigh escaped me as I took a step back, my eyes went to the pavement. "I know, but I can take care of myself, Ronnie. I'm not as fragile as everyone thinks."

He nodded. "I know and Barry knows that, too. The difference is that he's in love with you and you're willingly putting yourself in danger. There's got to be another way to help people."

I bit into my bottom lip. Everyone kept telling me that and I heard what they were saying, but saving someone's life was different than keeping them in or out of jail.

"He shouldn't be the only that has to share that burden. I can help him save this city, Ronnie. Why doesn't anybody see that?"

"Maybe because Barry was chosen to save this city and you're putting yourself into the equation."

His words stung, more than I expected. I turned away from him.

"I'm so tired of having the same conversation over and over again." Sadness washed over me. "Can you just support me? I need a little pick me up right now."

He laid a hand on my shoulder. "Iris, I'll support you no matter what. I just want you to be safe. It would kind of suck without you around. Besides, your ass is better than Cait's."

I snorted out a laugh as I turned to him for a hug.

He held me tight. "If you tell her I said that, I'll kill you myself."

"Deal," I chuckled.

Later that night I was woken by a shaking. My eyes peeled open. "What?"

Caitlin stood over me with Ronnie. "It's Barry, we have to get to STAR Labs."

We rushed over there, but not fast enough. No one knew how badly Barry was hurt, that just he went up against Tony.

"Why would he be so stupid?" I asked Cisco over the phone.

"Gee, I don't know, Iris. It's not like his only father figure is in the hospital and the girl he loves gave him the official bye felicia."

I frowned out of the car window. "That's not fair. He started it." I pouted.

"You can apologize when you get here."

My eyes widened. "Why do I have to apologize first?"

"Because he's the one that's lying on a hospital bed mumbling your name."

My heart couldn't take it so it fluttered. My eyes shifted to the night sky and I wondered how it was possible to hate someone and love them at the same time.

"Okay," I slid the phone from my ear.

Walking from the elevator I was sure everyone could hear my heartbeat. My eyes found Barry sleeping on the bed in a STAR Labs sweatshirt and pants. He was bruised up badly, one eye was swollen shut. His top lip was cut. A few bandages were placed by his hairline and cheek. I was sure there were bruises I couldn't see.

I went to him, carefully sat on the edge of the bed.

"Iris,"

I looked back to see Cisco and Linda with a man in a wheelchair who I assumed was Dr. Wells. He did this to Barry, to all of us, to me. He changed my life when he changed Barry. I didn't know whether to be upset with him or to thank him. Barry shouldn't have had the sole responsibility to save the city. How could anyone ask him to do that?

"Ms. West." Dr. Wells held out a hand.

I stared at it for a moment, but didn't give him my hand.

"Iris," Cisco started, clearly offended I wasn't thrilled to meet the infamous Dr. Wells that almost blew up the city.

Dr. Wells waved it off. "No, it's quite alright. The Arrow brought him in. He's stable, he's just not responding.."

Barry mumbled my name as he twisted on the bed, the drugs must be making him hazy.

"Just what happened? Where's Tony?"

"We don't know, but I assure you we will contain him when we have the proper facility." He seemed confident.

I sighed. "Thank you for taking care of him."

He nodded. "My pleasure. Barry is very important to this city."

I gave a tight smile. There was something off about this guy.

"Iris," Barry cried in his sleep.

"Would you mind giving me a minute alone with him?"

"Sure,"

Cisco brought me a chair to sit in by the bed.

After everyone cleared out I sat, my hand took Barry's in mine. With a sigh, I took him in. "Hey, Barry. It's Iris. I don't know if you can hear, but if you can, I really really need you to wake up. Like earlier, I went out again. I saved someone's life, someone I knew. I do dumb things like that when you're not around." I stared at his still body. My eyes filled with tears as I bit into my bottom lip. "My life is really hard without you in it." I huffed. "I know that the reason you came to live with us was awful, but Barry, you made us whole again. You made us a family again. We need you." I wiped a tear from my cheek. "I need you." My lips placed a soft kiss on his.

He shocked me.

I jumped away as he started contorting, his body shook uncontrollably. The monitors beeped continuously.

"Oh my God. Help!"

Everyone came rushing back in.

"What happened?" Cisco asked.

"He was fine a second ago." My heart pounded. "I thought you said he was stable?" I turned to Dr. Wells.

Cisco, Linda, and Ronnie held him down. The monitor flatlined.

No.

"No," I rushed forward. Caitlin held me back. "Barry!" I couldn't take my eyes of his shaking body. The ringing of the machine in my eyes.

"Get her out of here." Cisco demanded.

Caitlin rushed me out into the hallway against my will. "You don't need to see that."

He can't be dead. There was something wrong with the machine. They'll save him. They have to. He's Barry. He can't not be here. We were supposed to make up and get past this rough patch. We were supposed to have that perfect timing. What if they couldn't save him? What if I missed my last chance to look into his eyes because I was being stubborn earlier? What if he left me here to finish what he started?

Caitlin hugged me to her. "He's going to be okay."

Suddenly, she shot up and ran back into madness. "I know a little medical training! Get out of the way!"

I followed her only to have Ronnie rush out to keep me away from it all. I couldn't contain the tears. "Why won't you let me see him?" I sobbed into his chest.

"Trust me, you don't want to see that." He rubbed my back.

I cried until the beeping finally slowed down. There was a moment of silence that gave me hope. I pushed past Ronnie to see Barry lying still on the bed. The room full of relieved grins.

"I did it!" Caitlin seemed more excited than anyone. "I actually did it," She beamed and ran to hug Ronnie. "I saved his life."

"That she did." Dr. Wells agreed.

Cisco hung his head. He looked so tired.

Linda slid her hand into his, rested her forehead on his arm. "He's going to be okay. Let's go take a walk."

He nodded and followed her.

I turned to Caitlin. "Thank you."

She grinned, tears in her eyes. "It was easy."

I gave a weak grin as I turned to Dr. Wells. "Thank you."

He gave a profession nod.

For what felt like an eternity, I sat by his side, careful not to touch him. All Dr. Wells could tell me was that he should regain consciousness any moment now. I thought about slapping Barry awake, but thought better of it. I was left to think the worst.

"Flower," A crackled voice spoke.

My eyes shot up to Barry's. His non-bruised eyes stared at me. My heart relaxed. I grabbed his hand. "Barry, you're awake." I crushed myself to him, not thinking about his other injuries.

He groaned. "I'm glad to see you too."

Involuntarily, I punched his shoulder.

He groaned again. "Why? What could I have possibly done to deserve that?"

"You went after Tony like an idiot."

He tried to sit up, but I pushed his chest back down forcefully. "I did not go after him, he knocked me out and tied me to a chair. He wanted to prove that I was The Flash. He proved it alright."

I felt a little guilty for hitting him. "Oh." I rubbed his shoulder. "Sorry."

He sighed. "How long have I been out?"

"A few hours. Wait, is Tony going to tell your secret?"

Ronnie and Caitlin rushed over. "Are you okay?" They asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

He raised off the bed. "I don't know, Iris. He's got a God complex. We need to stop him."

We? Hope rose in me. Maybe he was adjusting to the idea of me being out there with him.

"Oliver and I can't take him alone. The Black Canary, Dark Archer, Arsenal. We'll make it work."

I tried to hide my disappointment. "You need to rest." My hand went back to his chest, instead of pushing him back down it stayed there, my own link to his heartbeat. He was alive.

"There's no time."

"You're not even fully healed." I argued.

"Every second that I'm in here he's out there doing whatever he pleases. I know what he did to you in the school, Iris. I'm not going to let him get away with it." He rose and wobbled a little. Barry was weak, but I could see that he was already starting to heal, his eye was almost back to normal.

I helped him sit back on the bed. "You can barely stand."

"Iris is right, he just beat you to a pulp and now you want to jump back in the ring with him?" Ronnie added.

Ten points for Ronnie. If he could convince Barry to stay, I'd buy him food at my nearest opportunity.

I locked eyes with Barry. "Please, don't go looking for him right now. Rest. You can pick your fight later." I could see he wanted to argue, so I stopped him with my mouth on his. The same spark from earlier tingled my mouth. "Please, I almost lost you tonight. I can't do it again so quickly." My eyes begged his.

He nodded.

Cisco and Linda returned.

"Hey, you're awake." Linda grinned. She came to hug him. "Glad you're okay." He hugged her with one hand.

Cisco stood next to him. "Hey," The sadness still in his voice.

"Hey," Barry grinned as he pulled Cisco close. They stayed like that for heart wrenching moment. Cisco pulled away with a nod.

I grinned at the two of them. "I'll get you something to eat."

"Actually, I already have that covered." A feminine voice came from behind us.

Barry's eyes widened.

Everyone turned to look at the girl in the doorway. A streak of jealousy ran through me.

"You still like Big Belly Burger don't you, Bear?" Thea asked with a smirk.

No this bitch didn't just call Barry by my nickname!

My arms folded across my chest as I turned to Barry with a raised brow. "Do you, Bear?"

He looked extremely uncomfortable. "Uh..."

"Oh, shit." Ronnie's laughter filled the room as I gave Barry the death stare.

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