I Hate Everything About You

by ScaliaFics94

AU: Instead of Barry growing up with Iris and Joe they remain neighbors. Their relationship can be explained in two words; mutual distaste. Not only does The Flash save her, but he knows her name. Cocky!Barry. Set in high school. (WestAllen) Multichapters to come. Rated M. OOC.

32. Hit Me Like A Man

The song for this chapter is The Pretty Reckless - Hit Like A Man

CISCO'S POV:

I sat on my bed as I watched Linda pace the room, which she had been doing for like thirty minutes. "Why are you so worried about this?" I asked her again.

She stopped to look at me. "Because Iris has been gone for a week and tomorrow is New Year's Day."

Not that I didn't miss Iris, but I didn't see how the two were related. "Your point?"

She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Cisco, have you seen Barry lately? You know, the walking talking zombie we sometimes hang out with."

My hand dragged down my face in annoyance. "Barry made his bed, Linda."

She came to the foot of the bed, her hands placed into the mattress. "I don't care what Barry told Iris, he does not have feelings for this Thea girl. We all know it."

I shrugged. "Maybe not, but Barry made the decision to push Iris away for some reason. We have to respect that."

She gave me a look. "Not even. They deserve to be together."

A groan left me, which even surprised me. But I was sick of hearing about this. It was like she cared more about Barry then me half the time.

"Not everyone is supposed to be together just because you want them to be."

Her brow creased, obviously picking up the sting in my voice. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that every relationship runs its course. Maybe they're not supposed to be together."

She looked down after searching my eyes. "Is this about the Barry thing?" her voice was small.

"Isn't it always?"

Without looking at me she grabbed her coat and purse of the couch and headed outside

"Why are you leaving?" I went after her.

"Because I thought you were over that, Cisco." She slammed her car door as she got in.

I leaned down to the window, trying to make her understand. "He's my best friend. He's always going to be between us." I didn't know how else to say it but it had to be said. I knew that she didn't have feelings for Barry, but I started to see that she cared a little more about him than she did me.

"I get that but not like this, Cisco. I don't like worrying about the two of you,"

My head hurt. "What-what are you talking about?"

She gave me a look. "The sixth grade. What are you talking about?"

"You caring more about Barry than us."

Her forehead creased as she got a far away look in her eyes. "Oh. That makes more sense." She started the car. "Well, I should be going now. I have a shift at the gym."

My hand reached for the keys and pulled them out. "We're really back to that?"

With a huff she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, actually, we are. The fact that you wanted to pretend like it didn't happen is beyond me."

I pulled her into a kiss, letting her know that I still very much wanted her. When i pulled away she looked dazed. "Let the sixth grade go. I'm focused on now, on us."

She nodded.

IRIS' POV:

"Again." Laurel demanded while she held her bamboo stick.

We were the only ones in this dusty old gym.

I crouched over all out of breath. "I need a moment."

Before I could stand up she threw her stick down, only I rolled out of the way just in time for it to smack off the floor. My hands grabbed my stick as I looked to her.

"What are you doing?" I backed up.

She came after me, the stick dipping and dodging in the air, trying to hit me.

I blocked her attacks as best as I could. "Laurel!"

She had that cold gleam in her eyes that told me she was in full on teacher mode. Her movements were quick and precise. She was all strong arms and legs. Sweat dripped off her face and down her neck, disappearing into her cleavage. My moment of distraction was enough to give her the advantage, she knocked my feet from under me. I landed on my back with a thud, the wind knocked out of me.

"Get up." She instructed when I stayed there.

My eyes focused on the ceiling, black beams and chords. This was my life now. Always getting knocked down, getting the shit beat out of me, and pushing past my comfort zones. Maybe everyone was right. I'd been living here, training with Laurel, for a week. Honestly, I didn't know if it was making a difference. I felt the same, all confused and filled with sorrow.

"This was a mistake." I whispered.

A moment later she appeared above me, much like she did when Peek-a-boo stabbed me. This time there was no mask, no red lipstick or bleach blonde wig. Only a sweaty face and a french braid hanging from her shoulder.

"You'll get better. It takes time, longer than a week."

I sighed as my hand ran over my wet face. "What if I'm not cut out for this? What if this was some silly notion I wanted to focus on because I graduated high school and I have no idea what I want to do with my life? What if everyone was right?" I sat up.

She sat down beside me, her body faced mine. An understanding look in her eyes as she stared into mine. "I've been where you are. I was done with being a victim, watching others around me saving people while I was weak. So you know what I did?"

My head shook. I really didn't know much about her besides that she was the District Attorney for Starling City and that she was close to Felicity and Oliver. Her dad was a detective, trying to work his way up and her sister was dead. She didn't like to get too personal with the details and I didn't feel comfortable asking Felicity and Oliver about her.

A small grin came to her lips. "I started boxing like you."

It was nice to know we had a little in common, I was starting to think she really didn't like me.

"So how long did it take you to get here?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Longer than I care to admit. When I first put on that Black Canary suit I knew I was in over my head, but I had to do it. And I wasn't going to let Oliver stop me."

My forehead creased. "Oliver didn't want you to be out there with him? You guys work great together."

She nodded. "It wasn't always that way. Oliver and I use to date," She seemed really uncomfortable admitting that to me. "Like Barry, Oliver didn't want me around that. When my dad found out he wouldn't speak to me for a long time." She smirked. "But I wasn't backing down, no matter how many times he begged and yelled. It was my call, my life, and this was something I had to do." She looked back at me. "I work in law and I help put the bad guys away, but being out there helping people feels completely different. Actively saving people is extremely rewarding and if I die helping someone then at least I went out brave." She rose and headed for the lockers.

That was the most she's said to me since the week I've been here. I hadn't realized we were so much alike and it was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in this.

I followed her. "So you don't think I'm making a mistake?"

She pulled on a black fluffy coat. "If I thought you were making a mistake I wouldn't waste my time training you."

Well, that restored my confidence.

I grabbed my bag, I thought about what she said. Doing this was important to me, but I didn't want to lose my dad in the process. We hadn't spoken since I left, the only way I knew he was okay was through my Caitlin updates. The hardest part was missing Christmas, I really wanted to turn back around and beg for forgiveness and ask for my room back, just to be surrounded by family and friends. Well, I could do without Barry.

We headed out into the bitter cold that froze you to the bone just by stepping outside. I followed her to her car.

"Maybe you should go visit." Laurel said, drawing my attention back to her. "It's New Year's Eve, Iris."

My head shook. "I can't. If I go home now then I'll back down." I met her eyes. "And I don't want to give up yet."

She stared at me for a long moment before nodding. "Barry really missed out."

My eyes went to the side as my jaw clenched. "Yeah, he did." I bit into my lip in frustration. I rolled my eyes. "He's off trolloping with Thea."

She cracked a grin. "I think you mean frolicking."

"No, I meant trolloping."

We laughed and it was a nice moment. Maybe the first time I'd heard her laugh.

She turned to me as she unlocked the car. "Thea isn't that bad, a little too sultry for her own good, but she's nice once you get to know her."

I gave her a look as I slid into the passenger seat. "Bitch slept with my man and stole him." Obviously, he wasn't mine to steal.

She started the car. "The way I heard it, Barry was really hung up on you the entire time he was here. I really don't know why he'd sleep with Thea. It's obvious he likes a little hot chocolate."

All I could do was stare at her because I never heard her make a joke, let alone one about me.

She gave me a look. "What? You're very attractive, Barry obviously has taste on me."

My brow rose. "Thanks,"

There was some awkward silence and I didn't know whether to comment on it or not.

After a moment she asked if I was going back to the house or somewhere else. I chose somewhere else. I felt like I was intruding on Felicity and Oliver's lives. They were close to maybe being something great and it was like every time they were having a moment I seemed to inconveniently come in.

Laurel dropped me off at a nearby trail. "Hey," She said as I opened the car door.

I looked back as I pulled the door shut.

"I'll see you tonight at Oliver's New Year's celebration bash." The over the top excitement dripped from her voice.

An iffy expression planted on my face. "I don't think so. I'm not really in a party mood."

Her brow rose. "Then this is exactly what you need."

"I'm not ready, Laurel."

She looked straight ahead before speaking, "Barry's moved on. Maybe it's time you do the same."

I opened the door again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Iris, wait." She called as I walked away.

Soon I was on walking down the beautiful trail with my hands in my windbreakers pockets. I found this trail a few days ago, it didn't seem to be well used, which I was glad for. It was hard to be lost in thought with other people around. Being around Felicity and Oliver was a lot, so some peace and quiet was really nice. The down side, I was left alone with my thoughts. Thoughts about a certain someone.

You could say I wasn't ready to talk about Barry Allen. I could hate him all I wanted, but talk about him? Nope. Whenever Caitlin or Linda tried to bring him up I shut them down. No part of me wanted to know how he was doing. Okay, maybe a tiny part of me, but I could suffocate that part until it died. If knew if I let myself really think about him then I wouldn't be able to move on. If he was doing well and with Thea then I didn't want to know. The knowing would hurt worse than a stab wound.

That was enough about Barry for today. I couldn't exactly focus on him for too long, it wasn't healthy. All I could was hope that one day things wouldn't be so bad between us.

I broke out into a sprint with the wind whipping past me, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders as I rounded a turn. The peaceful tranquility out here was my therapy. Just the trees, dirt, and me.

Something hard knocked into me and it wasn't until I heard a manly grunt that I realized it was a guy. I fell on my ass. My eyes settled on a tall, muscular build, a strong jaw and longish sandy blonde hair.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I reached to help him.

He turned his cinnamon brown eyes on me. "I, uh," He gave a nervous chuckle. "I didn't see you there." His full lips said, his brown locks fell into his face, his big manly hand pushed it back.

A tiny grin came to my lips. "It's okay." I stood to my feet. I held out a hand to help him, when he took it I felt a sense of familiarity course through me. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

He shook his head. "I would remember meeting you." He had this cute chin dimple that kept demanding my attention.

I gave a friendly grin as I looked ahead. "Sorry about that." I jogged away without a word. No more hot guys for a while. All I needed to do was focus on me. What was my next step? I knew I definitely wanted to stay in Starling City. The change in scenery was nice. Maybe this city has more to offer than just a training ground. If I wanted to seriously consider staying then I needed my own place. Sure, I was young, but I couldn't live in Oliver's hide away house forever. In order to even think about moving out on my own I sort of needed some income. While I was sure I could get Caitlin to get me a transfer at Jitters, I didn't think that was the best option. All in due time, I told myself.

BARRY'S POV:

"Alright, Barry," Dr. Wells said from the other side of the glass panel. "What's going on with you?"

I stopped running on the treadmill Cisco designed to handle my speeds. "What do you mean? Are my levels too high?" I came to stand by him. My eyes on the monitors, but everything seemed fine.

He looked up at me from his wheelchair. "I mean, your head has been somewhere else lately. You've been here, but you haven't been present."

Being that I hadn't initially trusted Dr. Wells to help me figure out my abilities I didn't share much with him about my personal life. Ever since Iris left it was like everyone knew to give me some space, except Dr. Wells.

"I don't know. I guess..." I huffed. I grabbed a nearby chair. Wells was probably the only one I could talk to this about, he was a man of science. Maybe he'd have some prospective. "I changed the future. I screwed with time and now time is screwing with me. Iris-"

"Stop right there before you cause another disruption of the time line." He gave me a stern look.

My elbows rested on my knees. "Please, Dr. Wells." I sighed. "I have to talk to someone."

He gave me a sad look before saying, "Go ahead."

Where did I start?

"In the previous timeline Iris and I had a huge fight and we made up in a really big way." I hoped he'd understand what I was getting at. I couldn't say it much less bare to think about it too long or I'd go crazy.

He nodded, gave a wave for me to continue.

"And Ronnie was in danger so I flashed us over there. Iris being Iris got involved and before I could save her she was shot in the head. There was nothing I could do to save her, besides this. I had to drive her away, it was the only way to keep her safe. Now she hates me and Iris was the one to initiate...you know." My eyes drifted to the floor.

"Now Iris has no idea she confessed those feelings."

I nodded. "But she still has them, right?"

"It sounds like it took an apparent course of events to jarr those feelings, Barry. Without those events those feelings remain deeper down."

My chest felt heavy. Heartbroken was the right word, it wasn't accurate enough. I hated what I had to do to Iris, lie to her, betray her by telling Joe her secret. That was the absolute worse night of my life. When she died I had no doubt in my mind that she knew I loved her. Now there was every doubt that she thought I was over her and onto Thea. I didn't think it was possible to miss somebody this much, to crave their smile, to hear their laughter in the wind. I dreamt about her every night, about us together. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake Iris West. Maybe it was for her own safety.

"I know you don't want to hear this, Barry," He looked me in the eyes, "But if you care about Iris then you'll let her go."

How do you let someone go who was apart of you? It'd be like losing a piece of yourself.

"It's New Year's Eve, how about we call it a night." He patted my shoulder. "Tell Joe I said Happy New Year's."

I rose from the chair and gathered my things. "You could tell him yourself. We're having a small party at the house. Just a few of us."

He gave an appreciative grin. "Thanks, but I have some more work I have to do."

"Come on, Dr. Wells. It's the holidays."

He gave a clipped laugh. "No, it's quite alright. I'm really no good around people this time of the year."

I knew he was referring to his dead wife, so I didn't push it.

"Alright, I'll see you later. Thanks for the advice."

He grinned. "No problem, Barry. Any time."

When I got home the house was filled with laughter and a sports talk while my dad and Eddie watched the game. Caitlin and Linda gossiped in the corner. I found Cisco and Ronnie in the kitchen arguing about something.

"What are you guys doing?"

They turned to me.

"Please tell Ronnie that he can't forcibly drag Iris back here." Cisco demanded.

My forehead creased. "Uh," What was happening. "Cisco's right." I looked to Ronnie. "Iris made the choice to leave, bringing her back here wouldn't help anything."

He had a sad look in his eyes. "But I miss her. We all miss her. You miss her."

I blinked a few times then said, "Yeah, I do, but she's safe with Oliver. We don't need to worry about her. She's happy over there."

Ronnie cocked his head to the side. "Since when do you care if she's happy?"

I gave him a look. "Excuse me?"

He stepped towards me. "You drove her away, you lied to her, we all know it. You made sure she wasn't happy so she would have no choice but to leave."

"So what if I did? She's safe now, that's all that matters."

Linda and Caitlin came into the kitchen.

"What's going on in here?" Caitlin asked.

Cisco pushed us apart.

"Nothing." Ronnie walked away.

We heard the front door close a few seconds later. Caitlin went after him.

Cisco looked at me cautiously.

"What?" I all but yelled.

"You know, Iris was our friend too, Barry." He walked past Linda.

I huffed. "Yeah, I know."

Now everyone was mad at me. Just great.

I stayed in the kitchen for a moment, trying to compose myself. I couldn't face Joe all teary eyed. He needed to see me strong right now. A lot of his recovery had to do with not upsetting him too much or his heart would act up.

The doorbell rang and I wondered why Caitlin or Ronnie would bother to ring it.

I headed toward the door as Linda opened it. She stood in the doorway for a moment too long, staring at the guy who was staring back at her.

"Wally?" I asked.

He looked away from Linda to meet my gaze. He looked surprised. "Barry?"

Linda moved out of the way so he could come in. He set his suitcase and bag down.

"Look at you, not so scrawny anymore, are you?" He teased.

I grinned. "I could say the same about you." I pulled him in for quick hug. "What are you doing here?" I looked to Joe.

He looked just as surprised as me as he stood. "Does your mom know you're here?"

Wally hugged him. "I'm not a kid anymore, Uncle Joe. I can come visit my favorite uncle if I want to."

Joe chuckled. "Am I your favorite because I used to send the most Christmas presents?"

Wally laughed. "Of course." He looked around. "Where's Iris?"

A sad silence fell on the room.

"What?" He asked. "Is she okay?"

Joe nodded. "Yes, she just doesn't live here anymore."

"Oh," Wally looked around the house. "Is she close? I wanted to see her. It's been awhile."

Joe got that same empty look in his eyes that I got whenever anyone brought up Iris being gone. I hadn't meant for my love for Iris to affect his relationship with her. I'm sure if I told him he'd understand, but there was no need to.

"Wally," I stepped forward. "Iris moved to Starling City."

He made a face. "Oh." He seemed to grasp that this was tough subject for us all to talk about so he dropped it. "Well, I wanted to spend some time with my uncle, hope you don't mind." His gaze fell on Linda.

I saw Cisco's eyes narrow at the interaction and I grinned.

"Not at all." Joe said. "You can sleep in Iris' room for the time being."

"Great." Wally headed upstairs with his bags.

Joe gave me a joyful look. "You'll be glad to know that I'm officially taking a leave of absence from work."

"What? Is Captain Singh forcing you to because he can't do that."

He raised a hand. "No, it was my decision. I need some time off to think about some things and I'm not good to Eddie with one arm." He pointed to his shoulder cast.

"I'm getting a new partner." Eddie announced from the couch, clearly excited.

Joe gave him a look.

Eddie drew in some of the excitement. "I mean, he's not going to be as awesome as Joe." He focused back on the tv. "I invited him over tonight. He's new in the business like me."

Joe rolled his eyes, but we all knew he was just jealous because his old partner was getting a temporary new one. He went to sit back on the couch.

I walked over to Linda. "Are you mad at me, too?"

She folded her arms across her chest without a word.

I nodded. "I get it, okay. I drove Iris away, but I had to."

"Why?" She still wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I can't tell you that, just trust that I made the right decisions."

She looked at me and it was as if she embodied everyone's anger at me. "The problem is I'm beginning to doubt your decisions, Barry."

"It's not like I wanted to hurt her. Besides, some part of Iris wanted to leave." I defended.

She gave a wry laugh. "Well, you could've let her go without being an ass." She headed towards the kitchen.

There were too many people in here that hated me at the moment so I made my way outside on the porch. I thought about the times we shared on this porch when she still didn't know I was The Flash. That argument after I told her she didn't know if The Flash was a good guy or not. When I dropped her off here a few times. How could you miss someone so much when they hated you?

I sat on the bench, hoping that something would lead her here. Maybe she'd come back to see her dad? Maybe a part of her saw through my lie and she wanted to work things out. Sadly, I knew that was wishful thinking. She had a new life now. One that didn't involve me. I had no right to be angry about that because I made it happen, but I was still upset.

"Is this the West Residence?" A voice asked.

I looked up to see a blonde women making her way to the porch. She wore a black dress and heels. Why was she here?

"Who's asking?"

She walked up the few steps and held out her manicured hand. "Patty Spivot."

I shook it. "Barry Allen."

She nodded. "Okay, the white kid the West's took in."

Well, I wouldn't have phrased it like that, but sure.

"Did Joe invite you?" My eyes scanned her athletic frame. She was by far younger than him, but if she was the reason he was taking off then I'd support it.

She cracked a grin as her perfectly arched blonde brow rose. "No, Eddie did. I'm his new partner."

"Aren't you a little young and female to be his partner?"

She looked at me as if I was the biggest misogynist on the planet.

I realized what I said. "No, I meant Eddie thought you were a guy. He said he invited his new male partner over tonight."

She gave a wry grin as she understood. "Of course, he did. My first name is Charlie."

"Welcome to the team, Charlie." I shook her hand again.

She chuckled. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

I sagged. "You're welcome to go in. I think I'll stay out here a little longer." My eyes focused ahead.

"Uh oh. Some tension in the air already?" She stayed by my side.

I shrugged. "I did something that I'm not so proud of and everyone in there blames me. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me. Even Joe."

We were quiet for a while. I wasn't quite sure why I unloaded my troubles on a complete stranger, but it felt a little nice.

She looked at me, her blonde hair fell past her shoulders in curls. "I don't really know any of you, but in my experience, if someone loves you then they'll forgive you. Just give it a little time." She touched my knee.

My eyes slid up to hers. "Thanks."

She grinned as she stood. "Now, introduce me to everyone."

A laugh escaped me.

IRIS' POV:

This is stupid. I shouldn't even be here.

The music was thumping from wall to wall. Girls in skimpy outfits danced while horny guys desperately grabbed at whoever they could find for the night. This so wasn't my crowd. With my mind made up, I turned back around and headed for the door.

Laurel stepped in my way with an expectant look on her face. "Leaving so soon."

"I-uh..." I took in the red dress that clung to her body. Where did she get that? I wanted one. I gave a nervous grin.

"Let's dance." She pulled me along.

To amuse her, I gave it a few songs, but my heart just wasn't in it. I missed home. I missed my friends. I missed Barry.

"I'm going to get us some drinks," She yelled into my ear over the music. "Don't go anywhere."

I nodded.

My eyes scanned the crowd as I tried to find Felicity and Oliver, they were talking to some guy in a suit. It looked like business.

It was very awkward to stand in a crowd full of dancing people while you didn't dance. I kind of had to pee anyway. I looked towards the bar where Laurel was flirting with one of the bartenders, she'd be a minute. I could get to the bathroom and back before she noticed.

My reflection caught my attention as I washed my hands. I hadn't exactly tried to look nice tonight, but I wasn't frumpy either. I wore a black dress and heels. I let my hair hand past my shoulders. If I felt as beautiful as I looked I'd be okay.

I headed out the bathroom only to bump into a hard chest. I stumbled back a little but hands caught me. "Oh, I'm really out of it today..." I stopped when I realized it was the same guy from the trail. A blush made my face hot. "Hi."

He grinned, his full mouth confident. "Hi, again." He was still holding my waist and it was lovely, but unnecessary.

"I think I'm no longer in danger of falling." I told him.

He looked at my waist and backed up as he let me go. "Sorry."

I gave him a quick smile as I walked past him.

"I didn't catch your name before." He called.

"Jane Doe." I threw over my shoulder as I headed back out to the dance floor.

I found Laurel still talking to the hottie bartender so I went over. "Hey, I went to the bathroom in case you were looking for me."

She grinned at me. "Here's your shot." She downed hers. "It's almost midnight." She turned to look at the crowd. "You have to find someone to kiss."

My eyes rolled. "I don't take that seriously."

"Neither do I, but being that my last relationship sucked I'm heavily on the rebound."

"Amen to that." I downed my shot. "Another one, please."

She grinned.

We got lost in conversation and before we knew it Oliver was standing on the staircase with a microphone, counting down to the New Year. Laurel and I rushed into the crowd, I was a little woozy, but I could stand. I thought about what Laurel said and immediately Barry came to mind. It was about to be a brand spanking new year and we couldn't be farther apart. While everyone else was jumping up and down filled with excitement I was stuck with sorrow.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" Oliver counted.

I turned to Laurel. She was excitedly counting with him.

"Seven! Six! Five!"

She looked over at me.

"Four! Three! Two!"

Oh, what the hell.

"One!"

I grabbed her face and planted a chaste kiss on her. I hadn't expected her to deepen the kiss, but I didn't pull away. You could blame it on the intoxication or the adrenaline rush of it being a new year, but I didn't care enough to pull away.

A/N: For those of you who don't support the lgbt community then I'd advise you not to read any of my fics and to stop this one now. I will be writing more lgbt friendly chapters. While I'm not saying that Laurel and Iris are going to be a couple, I will be exploring the sexual avenues of a few different characters. Hope yall liked it, thanks for reading :)