A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! Love hearing from you! Ok so this chapter is from Kouga's POV, so bear with me, and my first time writing from the POV of a guy. Once again THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! without any furthur ado!
I walked in and saw her sitting there on the floor, looking absolutely horrible. Her arms hung limply at her sides and her face was pale. I ran to her as I saw her begin to fall, thankful for my speed I caught her before her head hit the stone floor. Fear spread throughout my entire body, as I cradled her to my chest pulling her onto my lap. I felt my heart wrench as she tried to speak.
"Kou-" Her mouth barely moved, and her eyes were getting foggy as she tried to focus.
"sshhhhh, it's alright. What happened?" I brought up my hand to her cheek, she was burning up! She sat there completely limp, trying to speak. Her mouth moving but no sound coming out. What could have happened to make her this way? Finally I heard a sound.
"R-r" Her eyes shifted to some herbs she had splayed about on the floor. Had one of them done this? Her eyes closed and I felt my heart stop before I felt I did the only thing I could do.
I howled. I howled and released my sorrow and longing into the howl, all of my pain over seeing my beloved in such a way. I heard howls in return and running footsteps coming down the tunnel. The first few arrivals burst through the curtain and saw me sitting there holding tightly onto an unconscious Kagome. I barely looked up to them, I saw a drop of water land on Kagome's cheek. Anger flared inside, what had dared to fall upon my Kagome as she lay there unable to defend herself.
I looked up and noticed nothing that could have dripped on her. The wolves went about looking for what had harmed Kagome, while some of the others went for Jiki. I looked down to her and there were a few more drops on her. What was-?
The wolves parted to allow Jiki entrance and she crouched next to me.
"What happened?" She asked in a hushed tone, as she ran her hand over her cheek and forehead. She turned to some of the men and issued an order. "Cold water and a cloth now." The footsteps all ran off into the distance. She placed her other hand on my shoulder.
"Are you alright my lord?" Her voice was tense, but she looked at me with worry reflecting back in her eyes.
"Yes. Tend to her." I moved her away from my chest slightly, but Jiki pushed her back.
"Whatever did this to her, could still be in here. We need someplace safe, perhaps we should take her to the infirmary."
"No. She wouldn't like that." I tried to be forceful but even I heard my voice waver. "Take her to my den. It is closer and private." Jiki nodded in agreement and I picked her up.
She had yet to move and her breathing is very shallow, she hung limply. Her arm fell outside of my grasp, I heard myself whimper. I had never seen her so weak, so hurt. Could she come back from this? I pulled her close to my chest, willing her to make a sound, to move just something to show me she would be ok but nothing came.
I made it to my den and placed her on my large cot of furs. She lay there completely lifeless, and I felt my eyes sting. I brought my hand up and touched my cheek; I was crying? How long have I been crying? I stood there numb with worry and fear. Tears pouring down my face as I willed them to stop.
Jiki went about ordering the wolves about for the things she needed. I was lost, I felt an absolute fear rip through my body as Jiki began to examine her body. She found that her hands are open and raw small pustules forming up her arms. She tested her nerve endings in her fingers and found she had no reaction. Jiki continued to mumble to herself low enough that I couldn't hear, before she turned to me and firmly stated.
"I need to examine her entire body, which means you need to leave. This isn't the time for you to be here." She was firm and steady. I opened my mouth to argue but she set her frown and pointed toward the door.
I felt hands grip my shoulders and I guess I was walking out of the den. I made it past the curtain and saw Kagome's friend Ari close the curtain behind me as she stayed inside to assist. I sat there on the floor outside my own den, only a piece of cloth seperating me from Kagome but she might as well have been a million miles away.
I felt it in my heart, Kagome was gone, she was gone from me forever. The realization that as Kagome had finally accepted me, had finally agreed to be my mate, even partially, and as she did so she was ripped from me. I lost her. I wasn't strong enough to protect her. I am not strong enough to protect her.
I heard a voice as I looked up from staring at my palms. There was Tajik, he was speaking to me, but I couldn't hear a word he was saying. His lips were moving, he was talking animatedly about something, but I couldn't make sense of it. Nothing was registering in my mind. Tajik looked at me and a sorrowful look crossed his face. He knew it too! I am the alpha and I couldn't protect my mate! They all knew it! I felt anger roar through me, and tear itself out of my mouth is a vicious snarl.
My beast blood would not have this! I would rid these thoughts from their minds! I am Kouga lord of the Eastern wolf demon tribe and I am their alpha! They will not think lesser of me! I felt my transformation coming and knew that there was nothing to stop it, I let the waves of anger and fury and self hatred wash over me as my snout extended. I fell to all fours and my hands turned to paws, I grew to tower over Tajik as he looked on in fear. I bolted for the waterfall and room to run. I heard gasps and screams as I ran through the main den, the wolves followed my lead and charged after me.
We are on the war path and may god have mercy on anything in my path.
I awoke with a ringing in my ears and a warmth consuming my body. I was lying on a ridge, on the edge of our territory. It was dawn, I must have run all day and night. The wolves that followed me out of the caves are no where to be seen or heard. I stood to get a better look around and that's when I realized where we were. The ridge.
The ridge where Kagome sent Tajik home and stayed out with me. I felt a twinge of pain in my heart at the word home. I had terrified the entire tribe by ripping through, my blood had been boiling, reason gone. I had been consumed by the beast that I had not been concerned with any one else's safety just my own selfish desires. My desire to get away. To run as far as I could away from the truth that I had failed to protect my mate, my love, I had failed her. I felt my eyes sting with tears again but this time I was not ashamed, I did not try to hide them. I sat down and put my head on my knees which were gathered to me.
I cried as I had not since I was a child. I cried for my loss, for my cowardice, and most of all for Kagome. She was innocent and sweet and did everything for me and my tribe but we failed her. When she needed us most we failed her, she was gone.
"no, she isn't" a small voice in the back of my mind chimed in. I growled.
"yes, she is! She is human, she is mortal, she can't come back from that!" Another voice scolded back,
"She was breathing when you left her." This voice was not going to leave it be.
"She is frail, she was probably dead before I left the cave." Tears continued to stream down my cheeks as my inner turmoil rolled on.
"But you don't know." It had a superior tone and I do not like it.
"I do! She is weak-"
"That is not what you told yourself for years. Kagome is powerful and beautiful and everything I could ever desire!" It was mocking me! The pitch changed as it tried to mock my voice better. "If only I could get her away from the mutt, then I would show her what it was to be appreciated."
It dared mock me about Kagome!
"Kagome is strong and powerful! She will overcome!" I roared aloud.
"That's what I have been trying to tell you." I harrumphed. "Now get back to her you pathetic wolf and show her you are the man she needs."
No need to tell me twice.
I hopped up and bolted back toward the cave. That ridge, the ridge where Kagome had kissed me, and I had kissed her. That was the moment all my dreams had been realized, all my hopes for a life with her came into view. The mating ritual, her swearing to bear me a family. I growled out in approval, as I continued running faster and faster. My legs burned but I didn't think about it. I continued thinking of my life with her, the life where we have a family together and teaching them to respect humans. Teaching them to hunt, her teaching them how to use a bow, the look of love she would flash me as she curled next to me of a night to sleep. I thought of all the things I wished to do with her, traveling to the other tribes and showing her off, I have mated a beautiful priestess and they would all submit to my rule. I growled again in approval, this time I heard barks and yips in answer. I had found the wolves, at least where they tired out. They fell in ranks beside me as we continued to run, my lungs beginning to burn but my only thought was Kagome. What I dreamed about, making love to Kagome, claiming her, making her mine so the worthless dog face couldn't take her from me. I growled menacingly, and the wolves followed suit.
"Kagome is mine, and I will be damned if I will lose her again!" I growled out and heard the wolves howl out in response.
I continued running through the day, as all the things I wanted to do and all the things I wanted her to live for poured through me. Twilight was in full set when I skidded to a stop in front of the waterfall. I howled at the mostly full moon, a long mournful and apologetic howl that echoed through the mountain as wolves on watch and inside the den howled back.
I made it home, to my Kagome. My feet would not move no matter how I begged them. I stood there staring into the waterfall knowing that just ahead was my home, my family, my Kagome. The wolves dissipated to get a drink and food from our long journey as I continued to stand there, staring into the water masking the den.
What was I going to do if I was right? What if she had perished? What if-
"You won't know until you go inside." This voice was not in my head, I looked around and spotted it's owner. It was the eldest of the elders, his name was Hiku.
"Hiku is she?" He had been the one that agreed Kagome would be a good mate for me, surely he was looking after the would be mate of the alpha?
"You have to face that demon alone." He was trying to irritate me.
"Is she alive is all I am asking." Anger clear and evident in my voice.
"And if I say no?" I felt like I had been shot through the heart, fear overtaking me and I felt my knees try to buckle. "But I am not saying no." I lifted my head and stared at the elder, never more than now had I wanted to rip out his innards. "If I say yes, you will charge in there and never leave her side. Am I correct?" I nodded. "If I say no, your sorrow will not allow you to stay here in the place she died. Am I correct?" I thought about it for a moment and finally nodded in agreement. "You must face this alone, because you are the alpha. Even if you lost your mate are you willing to leave the defense of your tribe to whomever decides to step up? Alpha must be able to sort out leadership and love and not let either rule their life while also not letting either falter."
I understood what he was saying. It was the same speech my father gave to me when I turned 10 years old. He said: "Kouga, as my son you are destined to be an alpha, and as an alpha you are destined to find many a female wanting to be yours. You must find the one, the only one that you can be true to, your mate. Once you find her you must love her and never let anything happen to her for you are her man and as her man you must protect her at all costs. But you must not let the pack defense or strength waiver because of your love for her. Do you understand me Kouga? You must walk a fine line between loving your woman and loving your pack because you cannot truly love and protect one without the other. Without them being in harmony you will never find balance or peace."
"I understand Hiku." The old man nodded and smiled as he waddled off behind the waterfall.
I understand why I must find this out on my own but that did not mean I wanted to do it. I lifted my right leg to take a step, it felt like it weighed a ton! I lifted the left leg and brought it up with the right, each step it felt like I was lifting a ton of bricks. My fear growing as I got closer to the waterfall, as I finally rounded the corner behind the waterfall I saw everyone siting around a fire. Some talking quietly others, stroking childrens heads as they snoozed. My presence was detected immediately and everyone turned to me, except the sleeping youngsters, I cleared my throat before speaking so to make sure I was heard throughout.
"I am sure you all know what has happened to Kagome by now." there was a slight murmur and nods through the cave. "I apologize for my actions and as your alpha I should not have fled." Everyone stared at me, as if an apology was the last thing they expected. "I have chosen to take Kagome as my mate and she accepted me." There was a gasp that went through the group. My heart constricted, that isn't good. "My actions are from my inability to reason out what happened to her and my beast out of fear." Some nodded at me, and others attempted a smile. "I am sorry for frightening you."
I took my few steps as what felt like a freed man, the weight on my feet gone as I cautiously walked down the tunnel to my den.
I felt my hands tremble and my heart race at the idea of seeing Kagome again like she was. I couldn't take that, I am not sure I could survive seeing her that way again. My feet stopped and planted themselves just steps from my curtain. My heart pounding, my hands shaking violently I forced my feet forward, upon pulling aside the curtain I saw Jiki and Ari sitting next to my bed. There in the center of them lay Kagome.
Her hair was pulled aside and braided loosely, she had on a thin white kimono that was drenched in sweat, she had a white cloth over her forehead and Jiki was lightly dabbing her neck and arms with the cool water. Her hands were wrapped up tight in bandages that went up past where I could see because of her sleeves. There were multiple bowls of odd concoctions strewn about the floor, some smelled medicinal others of food. The medicines were used heavily, the food lay untouched. Jiki and Ari knew I was there but neither made a sound of acknowledgment.
I slowly walked over to the bedside and knelt down between the two ladies. Ari looked at me, with sad and tired eyes. Jiki continued dabbing at her neck and shoulders. I looked over Kagome, other than her hands being wrapped up she seemed ok. Her cheeks are lightly flushed to show she still had a fever. Her body lay there unmoving, as a layer of sweat glistened over her. I hung my head.
"She unknowingly harvested a poisonous root." I looked over to Jiki as she took the cloth and rinsed it out in a small bowl filled with water. "It set in on her hands and caused the blisters which burst causing the raw skin. When she handled them again in her room it entered her blood stream."
How had I not noticed she harvested a poison! I growled at myself for not paying more attention to what she was doing. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, from Ari's side.
"She is lucky that you found her." Her voice was soft as she tried to reassure me. It wasn't working. "The antitoxin Jiki made has already started to work. Now it is just up to her to burn out the remnants."
This time Jiki spoke up.
"The antitoxin has counteracted the poison but the damage is pretty great. It had spread to most of her body by the time we administered it. It is up to her to work through it now." Ari stood and helped the old woman to her feet. "If you need anything come get us." I noticed Ari sway a bit as she helped Jiki, but thought nothing of it. Jiki took a small bow as she left, but I barely paid attention.
I had Kagome in my bed, alone but this is not how I pictured it. I imagined her kissing me, and full of life. I crawled over her and laid next to her, my back against the wall, I laid there watching her chest go up and down until exhaustion finally won out and I fell asleep.
The days drug on with Jiki tending to Kagome during the daylight hours and I watched over her all night. She did not stir for a week. The full moon celebration was canceled as no one felt like celebrating with Kagome still being ill. The wolves seemed to be simply existing, no one was excited or interested in anything. The entire tribe is affected by my mood but I couldn't bring myself to be uplifted for any reason. My Kagome continues to lie unmoving, her fever had lessened but was not gone.
Finally, that night as I brought myself close to her as she slept, I sighed as I resigned myself to another night of laying in silence beside my love. When I heard a groan.
I sat there for a moment thinking I had misheard, when I heard the thing I had wanted to hear the most over the last week.
"mmm. Kouga." It was barely over a whisper but I heard it, she called out for me.
I quickly scooted myself over to her, pressing my chest against her side.
"Kagome, Kagome I am here." I nuzzled my head into her shoulder, breathing in her intoxicating scent. Noting how her breathing had not changed, she was still asleep. She was calling out for me in her sleep?
My pride swelled as I puffed out my chest, my woman was calling for me. I continued snuggling up to her, gently nuzzling her neck, as I whimpered lightly letting her know I am here.
"Sit." She said almost like a yawn. I felt my anger grow as I realized she was also dreaming about mutt face. I growled out in anger and heard her whimper.
"no-" She sounded irritated. "no Kouga-please." She was begging me for something, but what?
I laid still, lost in her scent as we lay there in the darkened den. She didn't make another sound, I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
"Come back to me Kagome. Please." I whispered against her skin with no reaction from her. The weight of being alone with no real hope finally got to me as I sobbed into her shoulder, until I fell into a fitful slumber.
For the next week and a half there was nothing, no reaction no matter what I tried. I didn't press my luck, I stayed by her side constantly, I never left the den unless absolutely necessary. I took council when needed while sitting next to the bed where Kagome lie. Jiki came in daily to check on her, her bandages were removed and her hands were as smooth and soft as ever. There was no evidence that anything had happened to her. Her fever had disappeared and she was perfect as she always is. I continued to lay next to her every night, occasionally losing myself to my sorrow.
One night in particular I was snuggled against her when I heard her groan. I raised my head, as I looked at her. Her eyes squeezed together tightly before relaxing, and with a light flutter of eyelashes her eyes opened.
My tail wagged in joy, as I grabbed her and pulled her almost painfully against my chest.
"Kagome!" I exclaimed as I burried my head in her hair, enjoying the rushing pulse underneath my cheek. "Oh Kagome." I heard my voice break and a sob shook my shoulders, I felt a hand on my shoulder. She was trying to comfort me, after everything that had happened she was comforting me? I should be comforting her and reassuring her that we would do everything to help her back to her old self but I couldn't. I could nothing but sob uncontrollably into her shoulder as I lost myself in the quickened pulse, and heavy breathing. She was awake! We lay there all night, wrapped in one anothers arms, her trying to comfort me as I well past being consoled.
A/N: Give me a review and tell me what you think, I am super nervous about this one. Thanks!