A/N: Thanks again for reading and your lovely words!

For Your Benefit

S3 AU- This wasn't typically her sort of scene, but she swallowed down the hesitation and painted on a smile. After all, he did all of this for her, to honor her mom.

Chapter 3

The night had been going so well, too well. He should have known better, known that the constantly dangling carrot was still out of his reach. Beckett was still out of his reach. Even though he should have expected it, the simple fact that Josh was standing there hugging her, caused acid to rise in his throat - if only the floor would swallow him whole.

Castle averted his eyes from their lover's embrace, about to slip away to mingle with some of the other guests, but something about Beckett's body language seemed off. Her spine was rigid as she backed away from Josh's arm, turning back to include Castle into the conversation. He studied the look in her eyes, she seemed conflicted and it made him second guess himself. Maybe he had misread the entire situation with her absentee doctor.

"I – uh, what happened with your meeting?" Her voice was quiet and eyes downcast into her glass, without a trace of happiness like he would have expected.

"They rescheduled until tomorrow morning, so I figured I'd check in to see how this was going," Josh explained, grinning like a proud schoolboy. The mere arrogant statement had Castle bubbling with irritation, but he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. He had to smile and nod, trying his best to tolerate his presence for Beckett's sake. If this was who his best friend chose to be with, he had to be okay with it if he wanted to still be in her life at all.

"We just got here a little while ago," she said, shifting on the balls of her feet.

"We?" Josh's eyebrows shot up and Castle couldn't help but feel smug at his reaction.

"Yeah, Castle brought me." She looked over at him and gave him a smile that he shouldn't be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of, but it's the one he tried to pull out of her every time he saw her.

"That's really considerate, Castle. Thanks for doing all of this for her," Josh said, beaming as he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer. The act caused a sinking feeling to tear apart his insides; he wanted nothing more than being allowed to hold her, pressing her weight against his side.

"I'd do anything for her," he murmured, meeting Beckett's eyes as he spoke. A faint pink tinted her cheeks as she bit down on her bottom lip, abusing the skin. No matter what, even if they could never be together, he wanted her to understand.

"She's lucky to have such a great partner. I didn't even realize her mom had a foundation until she told me about tonight," he said, shrugging as he pushed his free hand through his hair.

Castle watched Kate glance down at her feet; it seemed she didn't tell Josh a lot about her personal life - at least that was his impression from the outside looking in. It was odd, in the past she had always been guarded, closed off to everyone, but recently she had started to share more of herself with him. Castle had passed it off as she was opening up more with everyone in her life; he hadn't thought that he was special.

Maybe he was.

"Castle actually started the foundation," she added. He couldn't help but feel a little proud as he noticed Josh's jaw drop a little.

"Really?" Josh scoffed, dropping his arm from her waist. "That's a pretty significant thing to do for someone you work with."

"It's nothing, really. Just a way to put some of the Nikki Heat profits to good use," he said, trying to play it off. Part of the profits were already going into a fund for Beckett anyway, she'd kill him if she knew about it, but when the idea of the foundation came up, he threw some extra into that as well. He had enough money to last a lifetime and then some; why not take care of those that he loved?

Loved? God, he couldn't think like that. Not loved, he cared about her; he couldn't love someone who was unattainable.

"I would've never thought to do this," Josh admitted.

"Well we can't all save lives like you can…" Castle said, with a half-hearted chuckle. This conversation was going nowhere fast and if he didn't walk away, he would end up saying something he'd regret. "I'm going to go mingle with some of the other guests that are arriving. I'll catch up with you both later."

"Castle, you don't need to-" Beckett shook her head, trying to reach out to stop him, but he couldn't play third wheel any longer.

"It's okay, really. You two have fun," he said, with a quick squeeze to her upper arm as he passed by. There was no point in trying to compete with Josh, he was the one Beckett chose to be with - no matter how much that tore him up inside.

Kate's heart dropped as she watched her partner move through the steady stream of guests that were entering the ballroom. She really should greet the guests with him, but he couldn't leave her side fast enough. It was kind of funny, earlier in the night she wanted nothing more than her boyfriend to escort her to the dinner, but now it felt wrong to stand by his side instead of Castle's. This newfound disappointment with Josh's presence was really throwing her off of her game, but if she was truly being honest, this feeling hadn't just begun tonight.

"He went through a lot of trouble for you, Kate," Josh said, his eyes seemed to mock the idea, as one of his eyebrows arched, looking down at her.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," she scoffed. His reaction was childish but petty, not endearing like the child-like innocence that Castle greeted the world with; Josh's reaction was fueled by an entirely green emotion. He really didn't have a right to be jealous; he was the one that cancelled on her.

"No, not a bad thing, just a little overzealous."

"He's my best friend, Josh." She stepped away, out of his arms, as her irritation began to rise. "This is how he is with people he cares about."

"He definitely cares about you…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's just – I don't know, forget I said anything," he said, shaking his head and holding his hands out in apology with a slight smirk. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she sighed. "Let's just enjoy the evening." She'd be damned if she was going to let him ruin tonight. He could be irrational about Castle on another night. Tonight, she was going to let all the cracks in their relationship just roll off her back and enjoy everything that her partner did for this fundraiser.

Josh couldn't change that.

She took a long sip of her wine as she watched his eyes run down the length of her body. "You look hot in that dress. I wish you'd dress up for me more often." He winked, running his hand down her arm to lace his fingers with hers. She forced a smile, but her previous irritation was still on the forefront of her mind.

"Well that would involve us seeing each other more than a couple times a month," she added, trying to untangle herself, but he shook his head, insistent.

"Let's fix that, Kate," he pleaded, using his free hand to cup her cheek. His touch felt cold against her skin, the symbolism glaringly obvious. "Let's go away for the weekend – just you and me. No work interruptions."

"I don't – I don't know. That sounds nice, but I don't really think it's possible for either one of us to put work away for a weekend."

"Kate, you're important to me too. Maybe I didn't throw you a huge benefit like this, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I can be there for you-"

Almost on cue, she heard his phone buzz in his tuxedo pocket. The universe was funny that way. Universe? God, now she was thinking like Castle.

"Looks like someone is sending you the bat-signal, Batman."

"You know I have to take this," he said, motioning to the phone and she nodded.

"I know. Go be a superhero," she said, forcing her tight lipped mouth to turn upward, as he brushed a kiss to her temple and rushed out of the ballroom.

Josh couldn't manage a ten minute conversation with her without thinking about work, and typically when it came to their relationship, neither could she. A weekend alone together? The idea worked for other couples, but they weren't in that type of relationship, and this was the moment she realized they never would be. Their careers would always be both of their top priorities. There wasn't enough between them to make it worth the sacrifice.

Her half-hearted smile faded with her decision. It was time to stop pretending because life was too short to hide in a relationship that had no future. She took the last sip from her glass of red and set it on a passing waiter's tray.

Most of the guests had arrived by this point, many of the city's elite in attendance mingling and bidding. They were all here to support her mom's foundation – all here because of Castle. She said hello to a few guests as she made her way back to the bar to get another glass of wine before she walked around in search of friends and family.

Her dad was sitting at a table, chatting and laughing with Ryan, Esposito and Lanie. She hadn't noticed any of them slip in; probably too preoccupied with her own thoughts to even realize what was happening around her.

"Hey, Dad," she said, leaning down to give him a hug before waving at her friends. "Hey, guys. Thanks for coming."

"Katie, Rick really out did himself," he beamed. "Your mom would've loved it."

Warmth spread throughout her body as she grinned at her father. She hadn't seen him this happy in a really long time.

"Yeah, she would have. He worked hard on this, that's for sure."

"Your dress looks great, Girl," Lanie called from across the table with a knowing wink. She rolled her eyes at her friend's obvious request for a compliment, but she fed her the words anyway.

"You were right," she said, laughing.

"That's all I wanted to hear you say."

"So, where is Rick by the way?" Jim asked, looking over his shoulder, almost expecting him to be standing next to her. "I wanted to thank him myself for all of this."

"I haven't seen him in a little while, actually. He's working the crowd, I think."

"Tell him to keep working it, Beckett. All the more money to raise for the scholarship," Esposito added before Lanie elbowed him. The statement didn't even faze her anymore; she had been around her partners far too long. Tact wasn't something that Ryan or Esposito typically exercised.

"Is Josh here?" Ryan piped up, further supporting her opinion of the pair. His question rang in her ears, as her head snapped to earn him a glare causing him to cover his mouth as if to suck the words back through his lips.

"Yes or at least he was? The hospital called…" she said with a shrug. Her dad turned in his chair to fully look her in the eyes and smiled. She knew what was coming next, but she wanted to be wrong.

"Are you going to finally introduce me to that doctor of yours, Katie?"

"We'll see, Dad," she said, with a soft groan, trying her best to not roll her eyes at his question.

"You never did like to introduce me to your boyfriends," he said, chuckling into his glass of soda.

"Some things never change, I guess." She shrugged, offering him a small smile. Truth be told, she hadn't intended on Josh meeting her dad at all. Separation of church and state, she had always tried to compartmentalize her life as much as possible. It wasn't like Josh was anxious for her to meet his parents, either.

She wasn't one of those people. Maybe she wouldn't ever be – with anyone.

Castle.

Her partner's name flashed again in her thoughts, constantly nagging at her subconscious. It had been easy with him, she'd already met his family and the idea of him interacting with her father didn't cause her heart to race with anxiety. Everything just felt natural.

It shouldn't though. They were just friends, it didn't matter the looks he gave her or the things he had said. Obviously, he found her attractive; any person in their lives could see that, but anything more that physical attraction? No, he had made that clear when he left with Gina over the summer. Castle cared about her as a friend only, nothing more. She needed to accept that and stop creating fantasies in her mind.

Avoiding the expectant eyes of her family and friends at the table, her attention roamed through the crowded ballroom where she found Castle standing near the podium, waving her over.

"I'm sorry. Looks like I'm needed," she said, motioning over to where he stood.

"And Beckett, tell Castle not to be a stranger over there," Esposito joked.

"I'll pass the message," she shot back with a laugh.

"Couldn't survive without me?" she teased, as her gorgeous lithe figure glided over toward him. He almost answered embarrassingly fast, but luckily his brain filtered his initial reaction.

"Well you know, I missed someone glaring at me and telling me how much I'm annoying them."

"Then you definitely need me in your life."

"It's your calling," he joked, with a wink. He had noticed that Josh was nowhere to be seen, but decided it wasn't the best thing to question. If he was still here, he was bound to show up, but if he left again, there was no reason to upset her. It was his job to bring joy into her life, not to cause her undue pain.

"So, the boys and my dad were looking for you." She pointed toward the table and gave her a nod.

"I meant to stop over. I was stuck chatting to the mayor this entire time," he groaned. "I swear Weldon – he can really talk a person's ear off."

"Oh, you're one to talk," she scoffed, but the sound quickly transformed into a giggle. He made badass Detective Kate Beckett, giggle. This needed to be added into the record books somewhere.

"Hey, comparatively speaking, I'm a mute." He laughed as she bumped her hip against his and rolled her eyes, the teasing press against his side shot sparks through his body. It was such a pathetic result from a friendly gesture, but he couldn't help it. Kate Beckett put every one of his reactions on overdrive.

"I'll believe that when I see it." Her eyes were dancing with joy, a light happiness that had dampened when Josh had surprised her earlier. It was nice to see it return. Maybe the wine had finally kicked in and she was more relaxed.

"He was hoping to talk to you a bit tonight."

"For sure," she agreed. "I want to thank him for being here. It was really sweet for him to support this fundraiser." Beckett looked down at her hands as her voice grew quiet, almost overwhelmed.

"He's a good friend. He knows if I think it's important, then it's important."

She looked up, eyes sparkling, full of emotion, a truly breathtaking sight to behold. Tonight he was honored enough to see the softer side of his partner, one that she didn't often show to anyone, let alone him.

"Thanks for thinking I'm important- I mean that this is important."

"Beckett, you are important," he said, making no mistake with the words he chose. Yes, the foundation would be amazing at helping law students give victims a voice, but at the heart of this, it was all for Beckett.

"Castle, you know I can't-"

He was solely focused on her, that he hadn't even realized Paula had walked up behind them.

"Are you two going to give a quick speech before the presentation about the foundation is shown on the screen?" she asked, interrupting.

"Oh, I didn't even think about that," he said, turning to Beckett. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I should," Beckett said, clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders. "I don't have anything put together, but she would've wanted me to."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I want to do this for her." She gave him a small nod and smile as they turned to follow his publicist toward the podium. He noticed her look out into the crowd, searching, before she turned back and met his eyes."

"Everything okay?"

"Just thought he'd be back by now," she said, her shoulders slumping, as his dislike for the motorcycle riding doctor increased to an all time high. Maybe he would never have a chance to be with Beckett, but she still deserved to be with someone who focused more attention on her than Josh did.

If only she'd realize that he would, in a heartbeat, if she would ever give him a chance.

"I'm sure he's out there mingling." She gave him another polite smile, as she reached for his hand to squeeze before they stepped on the stage.

"Some things just aren't meant to be…" she whispered, releasing the contact and walking toward the bright stage lights. He stood back for a moment, his mind swirling with confusion over her words as his skin tingled from her abandoned touch.

She was a constant mystery he didn't think he could ever solve.

With a deep breath, he cleared his throat and walked up to the microphone. Silence washed over the room, peaceful like an early morning after the first snowfall of winter. All eyes focused on him, but he turned away for a second to look at his partner for reassurance. Her face split open with a heart-stopping grin as she motioned him to get on with the speech.

"Thank you all for coming tonight. I know I'm usually a man of many words, but tonight is about someone very special to this beautiful detective to my right. Detective Kate Beckett is one of New York City's finest and I'm lucky enough that she has let me follow her around for the last couple of years. To tell you all a little more about why we're here tonight, I'd like to introduce you to the extraordinary Kate Beckett."

Beckett walked up next to him and wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him into a half hug. The fact that she was hugging him in front of a room full of people shocked him. It was like little by little, her guard was lowering around him, or maybe she had too much wine tonight. He couldn't be sure. Before she let him go, her head turned to whisper into his ear, warm breath washing against his skin. "Thank you, Castle, for everything."

He couldn't pull together his thoughts quick enough to form any sort of response, as he was left standing there with his mouth gaping open, while the lingering effects of her perfume danced across his skin. That woman was going to kill him without even trying.

"My mother, Johanna Beckett, devoted her entire career to those within the legal system that didn't have a voice," she started, adjusting the microphone to her height and turning back toward him, as she recited the words he had used when he had proposed the foundation to her. "She believed in justice and that truth would always conquer all. Her life may have been cut too short, but with all of your help and support of this scholarship foundation, her legacy will live on by inspiring a new generation of lawyers, to help fight for what is right and to stand up for the injustices around them-"

Her words were cut short in a flash. It all happened so fast, yet he felt like he was moving in slow motion unable to stop it…

A deafening bang rang throughout the room, as Beckett slumped down behind the podium. Castle looked out to the crowd of people, as mass chaos broke out among the guests, panic racing through his veins and pounding in his chest. He couldn't tell where the shot came from, but he noticed Esposito and Ryan trying to get a handle on the situation, yelling for everyone to get down.

"Beckett!" he called, crawling across the stage to where she was hiding. The moment he reached her body, his heart dropped.

Her eyes were closed, her body still, as his eyes zoned in on the blood pooling around her body.

She'd been hit.

tbc

Thanks for reading everyone! I'd love to hear from you! Keep in mind- as I've said a million times- I'm a believer in happy endings.

xoxo

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