A/N: Sorry for the delay and thanks for the lovely messages!

For Your Benefit

S3 AU- This wasn't typically her sort of scene, but she swallowed down the hesitation and painted on a smile. After all, he did all of this for her, to honor her mom.

Chapter 4

Chaos.

The beautiful dinner was a mere memory once the traitorous shot sliced through the innocence of the night. Terror and fear hung stagnant in the air, so thick it was hard to breathe. Glasses shattered and furniture crashed, as the sound of people running for cover rang out throughout the room.

He tried to think of another way to describe the world around him in that moment, but the only word that fit was sheer and utter chaos. Others could deal with the madness spiraling around him; he had a far more urgent issue to attend to.

Beckett was shot.

Everything else blurred around him. Time stopped. His vision tunneled onto his partner as all of the color drained from her cheeks. She had to be okay, she just had to. There was no way he could lose her, not now, not like this. Not before– not before they had their chance to be together.

"We need an ambulance! Beckett was hit!" he called out to anyone that could hear him, anyone that would listen.

The screams from all the frantic dinner guests filled the air as Castle cradled Beckett's limp body. His heart dropped down into his stomach as he looked down at the gold shimmery fabric that covered her skin, all bloody and shredded, completely saturated with bright red from the bullet wound. Logical thought faded away, he was working on instinct alone, as panic bombarded his consciousness, every action was moving toward a common goal - saving Kate.

He ripped his tuxedo jacket off and tried to apply pressure with the material, pushing against her shoulder, doing anything he could think of to stop the flow. All time was lost in those moments as he held her, stroking her hair back as his tears mixed with the seeping crimson.

Who the hell would shoot up a charity dinner?

"Kate, please. Just hold on. I can't lose you, Kate. Not now," he whispered, his lips dusting against her forehead as he spoke, desperate for her to hear him. "Please hold on for me."

From a distance, sirens blared and horns sounded. Relief washed over his mind, it was going to be okay. It had to be.

A quiet muffled groan broke his concentration as Beckett's eyes fluttered open for a moment; her breaths were shallow yet steady against his chest while he shielded her from any further threat. Maybe he wasn't a doctor or a cop, but right now, he was all she had to protect her and he wouldn't let her die.

Beckett couldn't die.

The slight glimmer of her hazel eyes had his heart hammering heavy against his ribcage. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was still conscious.

"Cas –" she croaked, before a coughing fit interrupted the words. There was blood drying in the once soft curls of her updo, matting the strands against her skin. The red winding pattern painted itself along her clavicle, marring her ivory complexion.

"Shh. Try not to talk. You've lost a lot of blood."

He palmed the sharp angle of her jaw line, running the pad of his thumb along the paper-thin area of her under eye. She was still soft, but cool to his touch.

She was running out of time.

Bright colors flashed behind her eyelids in violent succession, the swirl of images made her dizzy and confused. All she could smell was a metallic scent in the air; the oxygen was permeated with it and she gagged as it filled her airway. The muffled sounds of terrified voices rang against her eardrums, pounding against her skull in time with the thud of the blood pumping throughout her body.

In the short spans of time where she could hold her eyes open, she could only see Castle's face; if she had to die at least he would be with her until the end. It was oddly comforting.

"Beckett, they've got you. They'll take good care of you," he soothed. She blinked again and saw that he had been holding her hand. She hadn't felt it until now, with every nerve ending solely focused on the agony of being ripped apart by the seams by the shooter. Her world shook again and suddenly his words started to replay in her mind.

They've got you.

The paramedics were there and she was being loaded onto a gurney, as they applied a quick dressing to her skin and hooked her up to an IV.

"I'll find your dad and meet you at the hospital," he explained, squeezing her upper arm lightly.

Meet.

He couldn't leave her, she couldn't die alone.

"No," she rasped. "Stay."

"Miss, try not to talk," the younger man instructed, as he motioned Castle away. "Sir, you can follow us in your car." Castle gave her hand another gentle squeeze, before he was given another nudge. She thrashed her arm from the EMT, reaching for her partner and pulling on his sleeve.

"No!" She tried to make her voice sound forceful, but it was weak and hushed even in her own head. "Please."

Beckett's gurney was loaded inside the ambulance and he crammed himself toward the back, close to her side. The two young paramedics worked to regulate Beckett's pulse as they looked up occasionally to glare at him. He wasn't a huge man by any means, but the tight quarters were not made for him to ride along. They would have to adapt, because he was there for her and that would never change.

Glancing down at her body, he stared at the attached tubes and cords, everything working to keep her alive. All of the blood loss had left her skin a faint gray color instead of the soft pink glow it had been as they walked up to the podium not long ago.

In a split second his world changed and nothing would ever be the same again. His mind was still reeling, his best friend was shot in front of him and he hadn't even realized it until it was too late. Hell, he didn't even have a clue if the person responsible had been caught or was still at large.

He couldn't leave Beckett's side. All he could manage to do was text Ryan and Esposito and have them bring her dad to the hospital. She wouldn't let him walk away for even a second so the EMT's finally gave up their argument against him riding along upon realizing how strong willed his detective was.

His detective?

She was his best friend, but she wasn't his – she was with Josh, the hero doctor. It ended up that he wasn't even in the ballroom when she was shot; he had snuck out to the hospital to answer a page before they had even taken the stage to speak.

"Kate," he murmured. "The boys are driving your dad to the hospital. He'll be there as soon as we get there. And Josh –"

"Did he –?" She seemed to struggle to put together the words she wanted to use. He hated to see her like this – this fragile. Beckett tried to turn to look at him, but she cried out as her muscles pulled.

"Please Ms. Beckett, you can't move right now," the female paramedic said, placing a foam collar back on her neck as a precaution.

"Fine," she winced.

"Josh left before it happened," Castle said, answering her unspoken question. "I'll track him down and let him know when we get there." He wasn't Josh's biggest fan, but he still deserved to know that his girlfriend was injured. Absent or not, he still cared about Beckett to some extent.

"It's okay." Her voice was a strangled whisper, the tone broken and soft.

"It's okay?" he asked, his brow furrowed. How could Josh's absence be okay?

"You're here with me," she said. Her lips gently flitted up, forming a small smile.

"Of course, I am." He grinned, his eyes crinkling against his dried up tears as warmth spread throughout his limbs from her admission. Easing himself from his seat, he tried to move closer to her side.

"Always here for me…"

He crouched down next to gurney opposite from where the paramedics were taking her vitals and placed his hand on top of hers, dusting his fingertips against her dehydrated skin.

"Thanks for being here," she slurred, her eyes drooping from the effects of the medication.

"There's no place I'd rather be," he whispered.

tbc

Thanks so much for reading! I would love to hear from you!

xoxo

To my lovely beta team- you guys have been wonderful friends and support this past week. I'm truly lucky.