The next morning was cold, I shivered as my right side is cold but my left plenty warm. I felt an arm wrap around me tighter, Kouga always worried about making sure I am comfortable. I opened my eyes and saw him still asleep, well I am awake, no reason to lie in bed if I am awake. I carefully pulled away from him and sat myself up, I found that I had very little trouble sitting up on my own now. The exercises are really helping, and it is like Jiki said give it time to heal up and I will be fine and back to normal soon enough.
Well now it is time to test my luck, I found while working with Ari that I can actually put weight on my legs and they will hold for a few minutes. I pushed myself up and pulled my legs under me, I got to a squatting position as I kept bracing myself with my hands. I pushed myself up and quickly reached for the wall, I found myself breathing hard, but upright! I had to squash the feeling of pride simply because it is a distraction from focusing on my balance. I am up, I am holding on to the wall, ok Kagome take a step. I tried to lift a foot but failed, they felt heavy. I tried lifting the other foot and got a small reaction, My foot slid forward about 4 inches! Focusing on keeping myself calm as I tried the first foot again, it moved but barely. I found it increasingly hard to breathe, nearly panting. Calm Kagome, you can do this. Keep calm. My right knee buckled but I managed to brace myself on the wall, catching myself before I fell. My breathing quickly becoming erratic as I tried to stay upright. I managed to get my right leg braced again only to feel my left knee buckle. I wasn't prepared for this one and I felt myself falling. I hit my knee on the cave floor, and cried out in pain. Before the other knee hit I felt arms wrap around me and pull me into a rock hard warmth I am very familiar with.
"What are you doing Kagome?" I could hear the worry in his voice. My back pressed against him, the warmth comforting. "If you wanted up you just had to tell me."
I sighed.
"It is getting to me Kouga. I can't handle being so weak and dependent on everyone else!" I sounded exasperated even to my own ears. "I'm sorry. I have been trying not to complain."
He kissed my shoulder. "You have been doing a great job but Kagome no one blames you for being the way you are. We know you will be back soon and we will do whatever we need to to help you come back to us." He is trying to comfort me but I found myself still irritated.
"If only I had crutches or something!"
"What are crutches?"
"Oh- um. Well they are supports that you can put under your arms and move them like legs kind of. Uh! That is a horrible description. They support your weight when you have a leg injury and can't do it yourself." He walked me over to the chair and helped me sit. I drew out in some of the ashes near the fire with my finger the shape of crutches. He was intrigued. "They are common in my time." I sighed. "But apparently not all that much here."
"We have used something similar to that before. I am sure we can make something like it. I will look into it, until then please be careful. I can't always be so close and I will worry endlessly thinking you are up without someone to help. So, please?"
I smiled and nodded. "I will be more careful."
"Promise me." His look serious, he really is worried. Poor Kouga. I didn't even think about how much this worried him.
"I promise." He smiled and placed a peck on my cheek. "Breakfast please?" He chuckled as he left the den.
Ari came in smiling a few minutes later, we sat and ate in contented silence. Once finished and Ari had rinsed the dishes she sat back down beside me.
"So Kagome what are you going to wear for the ritual?" Her question brought me out of my thoughts.
"What do you mean?"
"Well the mating ritual is very much like a wedding for a human. What do you intend to wear? I wore my mothers ritual dress, it is generally a tradition but since your mother isn't-" She stopped short before she finished the sentence and looked down at her lap. She didn't want to say it and I knew why. She was afraid I would be upset, but of all the emotions I am feeling upset or sadness is not one of them.
"No, my mother isn't here but it is a human tradition too. We wear our mother's kimono because it was generally worn by more than just her."
I remembered wedding pictures of my mother and father. Her kimono long and flowing, blowing slightly in the breeze, there was no pattern or design just a simple white silk kimono but it didn't sit on her shoulders it slid to the sides of them. Her shoulders bare, with a golden locket around her throat that he had given her. She kept that picture in her room beside the bed, on his side. I don't remember my father, maybe that was a good thing. Mom always got so upset around his birthday and their anniversary and I felt bad that I didn't feel it too but am I supposed to grieve for someone I don't know? I noticed that the feeling of sadness that normally came with thinking about my father didn't come, and I smiled, just further proof that even in my heart I felt that this is home.
Ari sat there looking off into the distance seemingly lost in her own thoughts.
"Well, I am sure we can get some material. With the material we can make you a dress. You will need a dress to pass on to your daughter." I blushed brightly.
"Yes I suppose I will."
"I will look into it a little later. For right now though-"
"lady Kagome may I enter." It was Jiki.
"yes Jiki." She walked in, and over to me.
"I was wondering if I could give you an examination to check on your muscle strength." I nodded and she walked over and sat down. Ari and I started showing her the exercises we have been doing and she nodded her approval.
"Can you stand?" I nodded.
"Yes, but not for very long." I hung my head. "I didn't think it would take this long Jiki. What am I doing wrong?"
"You are doing everything I would advise and more. Just keep working at it and it will come to you. I advise patience." I sighed, darn it. "We will need to work as long as we can every day to get you back to yourself. We need you to be able to stand well for the ritual. If you fall or stumble during the judging then there is nothing we can do for you. You would be prey to the other alpha's and their judgment as unworthy."
"Seriously?"
"When we sit and wait for the judging, you breathe deeply of the herbs I am burning. If the gods accept you the smoke will have no effect on you, if they don't there are a number of reactions you can have. I have never seen a negative reaction but I have heard of them. It can be something as simple as a sneeze, so you must try everything you can to stand stark still during it. Breathe deeply or they will reject you as well."
"So breathe deep, and don't move for anything. Got it." Ari chimed in after I agreed.
"Jiki we have another problem." Jiki turned to her.
"hmm? Problem?"
"She doesn't have a kimono to wear. Since- well you know."
"Right." She sat there a moment, before a look of realization crossed her face. "I shall return." She stood with difficulty and scurried out of the room.
"What was that about?" I asked Ari, but she simply shrugged.
"I will be right back, I am going to go grab some meat for lunch." I nodded and yawned.
I sat there contemplating a nap for a while, Ari was still gone and Jiki had yet to return. I felt myself start to doze off before I heard footsteps. Jiki came in the door carrying a large parcel, tied up nice and tight. I looked at her curiously as she walked over to me.
"I know you don't have your mother here in this time but I consider you close to me." She sighed. "You are the closest to a daughter I will ever have Kagome."
Kouga told me when I first came here that Jiki's mate had been killed by a rival tribe shortly after they mated and there were never any children from their union. I felt bad for her then and worse now. The mating took away your ability to have another male. Other men didn't desire you, but you also didn't desire them. It was a scary thought to be alone for the rest of your life. I shook off a cold chill.
"Jiki I don't know-" My sadness at her situation evident in my voice. "I wouldn't feel right."
"If you don't then it will never be worn again. I will never mate again and I have no daughter. You are my apprentice, I have taught you somethings and you have taught me. The relationship you and I have is the closest to mother-daughter that I have ever had. So would you do me the honor of wearing the gown my mothers have passed to me?" I couldn't help a tear that rolled down my cheek, of course I can and would do this for her.
"Well I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try it on." She smiled warmly.
Ari returned and they both helped me to get this kimono on. It was plenty big on me and no matter how I tried one shoulder kept falling off. Jiki sighed.
"I will adjust it and make it fit better. No worries, it ill be done in plenty of time." I grinned at her before tentatively asking, I was afraid my request would make her angry and I didn't want that but I needed to ask.
"Jiki, could you leave it?" The shoulder fell off again and I slid the other side off to where both sides are barely on my shoulders, kind of like a boatneck cut on a top. She looked at me curiously. "My mothers gown, from my time, it didn't fit her right and the shoulders fell off constantly. I would like to pay just that little tribute to her. If that is ok?" She looked at me with glee.
"I would never say no that. The woman that raised you must be an amazing individual."
"She is." I couldn't help but smile, my mom is amazing but so is Jiki. She has helped shape me as much as my mother, and the same with Kaede these women helped make me. I couldn't be happier to have 3 mom's where most people only have 1.
The kimono lands at my calves.
"Can we maybe make it a little longer? I thought they were supposed to be floor length?"
Jiki and Ari laughed.
"They are but you are quite a bit taller than me!" Jiki was holding her sides laughing so hard. Ari chuckled as she helped me get out of it, with it removed. Jiki looked me over as I tried to cover myself. The old woman looked away as Ari wrapped the other kimono around me.
"Jiki are you ok?"
"I have never seen an adult body so unmarked. Generally there are some kind of marks, scars from childhood injuries or illnesses that marred their skin." I blushed brightly as I looked down to tie my sash. "Our leader is a lucky man to have such a beauty to call his. I am sure many will be envious." She turned and left silently. I turned to Ari.
"Was it just me or is that weird?" I felt bad asking but Jiki's comment had shaken me.
"She isn't wrong." I turned to her a little shocked, she just looked at me steady. "Many women are marked by something. I have not seen skin as smooth as yours on anyone other than children. It shocked me the first few times I saw it but I guess I got used to it." She turned away to look down. "I agree with her, there are unsavory types that would use you for your untouched body."
I guess I never thought about the dangers of being without a man in this era. In this era it wouldn't be a problem to rape a woman and even leave her with a child. I have always had a man with me and therefore never had to think about it before. Inuyasha never let another guy touch me not without a fight anyway, and in a lot of ways Kouga is the same. Thinking of when the men had helped me the other day, If he had witnessed them touching me I have no doubt he would have ripped them apart. The two men I am so close to in this time would both do anything to keep me safe. Well, I guess Inuyasha wouldn't anymore and that makes me a little upset.
I felt saddened by my realization, I no longer had Inuyasha to consider a protector. He had always done all he could to keep me safe, until- until he didn't. When he left me there with Kaede I never thought about it as he left me, I always thought he would come back when he cooled off for a bit. Even when I decided to travel as a priestess I never thought about the fact that I was alone. I shook off a chill, and wrapped my arms around myself. I suddenly felt very alone. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, so I buried my head down and tucked my chin into my chest. Ari was lost in preparing lunch and humming to herself. I sat there lost in my own sorrow, for lost friends and family and for loves past.
I had loved him, I have no doubt of that. I had loved Inuyasha, in the crazy young first love that all girls fell for but I also had no doubt that my heart belonged to another now. My heart, young and turbulent had been completely in love with that half-demon, but it was snagged, kidnapped if you will by another. My wolf kidnapped me at one time for being able to sense the jewel shards, and for a long time I was convinced that was the only reason he liked me. I thought that once the jewel was gone Kouga's interest would be too, but when Hakkaku and Ginta brought me here after finding me he was just as warm as ever.
~memory~
Kouga jumped up and ran to me, wrapping me in a hug and sniffing me.
"You don't smell like mutt-face. What happened?"
"uhm, well."
"Did he hurt you?" He backed up from me, looking me over in a visual examination. I could see anger in his eyes as he looked me over.
"He didn't hurt me Kouga." I tried to sound reassuring. He just looked at me.
"Then where is he?"
"Well, he left."
"Left?"
"We had a fight, we said things we probably didn't mean and he left me with Kaede."
"Well, I am sure he will be mad when he comes back and you aren't there. Not that I am not happy you decided to leave and come to me." he smirked as I blushed.
"He left me there over six months ago." His expression changed to one of surprise. "So I am looking for a village that needs a priestess. I couldn't stay there any more." He looked at me now with sad eyes, but I felt nothing but ashamed for having to admit accidentally wandering into demon territory.
That was when an older woman cleared her throat behind him, she was short only about chest high on me, with short silver hair. She has dirt caked on her hands and up her arms, her cheeks rosy with heat from sitting near the fire.
"Jiki!" Kouga turned to her with an excited expression, grabbing my hand as he turned to pull me with. It caught me off guard and I almost fell. "I would like you to meet Kagome, the priestess that could sense the jewel shards." She nodded politely.
"So what do you do now that there are none?" Her voice came off tart, like she was forcing herself to be nice.
"I am a priestess, I heal the sick, treat injuries of the wounded-"
"The same as a shaman." Her response short, and it caught me off guard. I sat there a moment with my mouth open, trying to think of what to respond with. Kouga started laughing.
"Oh Jiki take it easy! You could use some help-" She started to protest but Kouga simply gave her a look of 'don't' before continuing. "You need an apprentice and she has a pretty good idea what she will be doing already, so what do you say?"
She looked me over, sighing slightly.
"I will need to see what you know." I nodded.
"Of course."
"I will show you to the female cavern." Kouga jumped at that.
"No! Uhm, we can put her in the cavern near my den. There she will have a little more privacy." He turned to me and smiled sheepishly. "Would that be ok?"
"Whatever you say." I smiled back at him and he returned it with gusto!
"Kouga the caverns near your den are for your children. We cannot move her in there." Jiki piped in and I couldn't help but notice the air of superiority in her voice.
"Kouga, I couldn't do that!" I couldn't take up a cavern that was reserved for his children.
"It's not like I have any children and I don't have any serious prospects for a mate right now." He turned to me and grinned. "Unless you have changed your mind?" I blushed bright red, and I heard Jiki laugh as she turned to walk off.
"Come along little one." I let go of his hand and turned to run off following her.
~end~
Kouga, I doubt I will ever find someone as loyal and loving as he is. What did I do to deserve such a great man to call mine? I found myself giggling lightly. Ari turned to look at me, before coming over with a hunk of spiced meat. She offered it to me and we dug in to the delicious meal she had prepared.
"Ari, I wish to go outside." She looked at me blankly while chewing.
"Why?" She choked out while he tried to swallow.
"I have been in here-" motioning to the cavern around us. "For far too long and I need some fresh air." She looked down at her plate.
"Can we finish eating first?" I giggled at her.
"Yes!" We finished eating and she stood to go get Kouga.
"Actually Ari, if you are willing to help me I would like to try to make it on my own." She looked at me nervously.
"I don't know-" I pulled myself forward in the seat and braced my legs while she sat there contemplating. I pulled myself to my feet, and waited a moment before I straightened my back to stand tall. Ari seemed to not notice until I straightened as she looked up at me, mouth agape, eyes wide. She sat there a moment just staring at me, I felt myself sway slightly. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around me holding me steady. She threw my arm over her shoulders and locked her arm around and grabbed my opposite side. She pulled me to her and we are hip to hip.
"Ok Kagome, you got what you wanted. Now walk with me. Left-" She moved her left foot forward, and I moved mine. I felt the muscles move and stretch, a wonderful ache of use moving through my legs. "Right-" She stepped up with her right and I moved mine. "Left-" My breathing was getting shorter. "Are you alright? Do you need a break?"
I shook my head no, I couldn't risk opening my mouth and losing any more of my precious breath.
"Ok, Right-" Moving my right foot, she followed suit. We kept moving, we got our way through to the door. Ari looked at me again, worry evident in her expression. "Are you sure?" I nodded.
Just keep moving Ari, just keep moving. She pulled curtain aside and we moved through. My muscles burning from the exertion, but the burn was so welcome. It felt good to be up and moving albeit with help, moving none the less. Once we made it to the main den I noticed Kouga sitting near the main fire pit along with some of the elders. Oops! I didn't know they were having an elders meeting. Ari kept moving, so I did too. We shuffled into the main area and that was when the elders looked up to us.
The men all looked up with the immediate reaction of anger for being interrupted but that was quickly wiped away for surprise. Kouga was the only one that had a physical reaction at my sudden appearance. He leapt up and before I knew anything else he was on the opposite side of Ari, with his arm around me to match Ari's. I smiled at him gratefully, as his other hand took mine to steady me. I gripped his hand so hard I was afraid that is he was human I may have broken something but he didn't even seem to notice. He looked me up and down cautiously.
"What are you doing? If she wanted out you should have said something." He was looking at Ari and I felt her flinch away. She wasn't going to defend herself from his ire.
"Sit-" Kouga looked at me slightly confused but then I saw a hurt expression. "I need to sit." Opening my mouth had the reaction I was trying to avoid, I am now more than short of breath and panting. Kouga doesn't wait for my slow pace, he sweeps me into his arms and carries me over to a log to sit. Once he sat me down he sat next to me, glaring over at Ari who was knelt with her head down well outside the elders circle.
"How could you force her into walking! She doesn't have it yet and you forcing her proves nothing!" Kouga yelled at her. I gripped his arm and he finally looked at me, sitting there drenched in sweat, and panting.
"She-not-forcing-" I took a few deep breaths, I noticed all of the elders looking on in fascination. "me-need-out." His expression softened as I slowly caught my breath. "I need fresh air. Please, don't be angry with her. She didn't want to I forced her." Kouga turned to Ari.
"apologies Ari." She nodded without raising her head. "You are dismissed." She stood quickly and retreated off into the caves, not toward mine and Kouga's den. Great. I sighed.
"I would like to spend the afternoon outside. Please." Kouga glanced to the elders.
"Until tomorrow." He lifted me up and left the cave. My legs feeling like they are fire, were thankful for the break of Kouga carrying them. He cradled me to his chest.
"Where to?" I didn't really have a place I wanted to be just in the fresh air.
"Away from the cave is my only stipulation." He didn't react, just started walking. I curled into him and the slow motion of his walking lulled me into a daze.
A/N: Thank you all so much! I cannot say enough how much I LOVE hearing from you all! I hope I am working in your concerns, I am trying! The Inuyasha thing will come up a bit later, I have it planned just not written yet :) I hope you all enjoyed, sorry I didn't really accomplish anything this chapter mostly just fluffies! But who doesn't love a little fluff. I love you all and hope you stay tuned! :P