I felt movement beside me and I ever so reluctantly opened my eyes. Kouga was there and readjusting in his sleep, I sat there a moment to see if he settled but he seemed restless like he was having a bad dream. I placed my hand on his chest and felt a growl of acknowledgment. His chest is lightly coated in sweat and his hair is all disheveled like he has been tossing and turning for a while. I sat up on my elbows and shook his shoulder gently.

"Kouga?" His eyes snapped open but it was clear by the glazed over expression that he wasn't seeing me. He grasped my arm and held it tightly, so much so that it hurt. I tried to wiggle and slide my arm free but his grip was iron. "Kouga-" I heard a growl deep in his chest.

"Kouga!" I couldn't take it anymore! My arm was screaming in pain and I felt a tear roll down my cheek from it. His eyes instantly cleared and he released me. He took a moment to assess what was going on before he looked down to my arm which was already bruised. He gingerly touched the darkened area and I whimpered quietly. He raised my arm and kissed it.

"I am so sorry." He nuzzled against my arm, I could feel his apology through my bones. I knew he was truly sorry but it had really hurt!

"What was wrong?" I asked him tentatively as I cradled my arm to my chest after pulling it from him. He looked at me with sad eyes as I moved it away from him.

"Just a dream." He brushed it off and went to stand up. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, he hit the bed with a thump and he looked at me a bit surprised.

"It was more than a dream." He looked away from me. "Tell me Kouga." He kept averting his eyes, so I grabbed his chin and pulled it to where I could look him in the eye. "If you can't tell your mate who can you tell?" He smiled before he sighed.

"You left me." I let go of his chin and he let it fall so he didn't have to look at me. He was ashamed? Ashamed that he dreamt of me leaving. "Inuyasha came back for you and you left."

"Kouga-"

"You don't have to say anything Kagome." He finally looked at me of his own volition. "You ignored me for so many years for him that it is an innate fear for me." He grasped my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles. "You wouldn't leave me. Not now. After all we have been through." he looked genuinely happy, and I felt a pang of guilt for wanting to say my confession to him.

"Kouga, I need to tell you something." He looked at me, still with the happiness in his eyes and I nearly talked myself out of it. "I had a dream last night before you picked me up and brought me in here."

"Oh?" He seemed very curious now but his happiness gone in lou of caution.

"I dreamt of Inuyasha." He stiffened and tried to pull back from me but I held his hand tight.

"Kagome-let me go." He was looking away and it came out as a growl instead of words.

"let me explain." He looked up but only for a second. He seemed to be contemplating. "Please" He sat there unmoving and I figured that was all the go ahead I was going to get. "he was hurt and he swore that I hurt him." He looked right at me now with no emotion clearly visible.

"Did you?" His voice held a tinge of curiosity.

"No, not physically. We parted in such bad circumstances that I feel if he comes back I would feel very guilty." He continued staring at me with no emotion readable. "I love you." He flinched but reigned it in quickly. "I need to tell that to him." He looked down at his hands again where I held him.

"That's it?" I read nothing in his voice.

"yes, I need to tell him I love you so that I can get him out of my head." He looked back up to me and I saw a small spark in his eye like he was coming back from the lifeless man before me.

"You want to tell him you love me." He took the hand I wasn't holding and pressed it to his chest above his heart. "Me." He repeated as he patted his chest. I took my other hand and laid it on top of his on his chest.

"Yes you, you silly wolf. I love you and only wish to think of you, I need to clear the air between he and I to be comfortably yours." I was trying to sound optimistic but his mood stayed pretty vague.

"You want to clear the air." He repeated me again.

"Yes. So that I can be solidly yours." I moved my hand from his chest to his cheek and moved in to kiss his lips softly. He did not react to my kiss just sat there unmoving. I knew it! I shouldn't have said anything especially after he was already upset! Stupid Kagome!

"Ok-" I looked into his eyes and I saw he was back to his normal full of life self. "But-" I knew there would be one of those. "It will be very hard to find him before the mating ritual. Can we do it after if I give you my word we will?" I nodded yes, and he smiled. "I need to be there for it." Him be there? But they always fight when they are even in the close vicinity.

"I don't know." He straightened and looked at me squarely.

"I know you don't trust me to behave in his presence but after the mating ritual things will calm down. You are unmated and therefore my inner wolf says someone else will try to steal you from me. Afterwards I will be able to be calm and collected in the face of unmated men around you but before then I promise nothing."

"So you just want to listen?"

"I need to show him a united force. I need to be by your side for this, it is the final farewell to the life you lived before."

Final Farewell. Why does that sound like something I would hear in a eulogy? Apparently my expression was not a kind one because he gripped my hand.

"I didn't mean it that way! I just meant that it is a new beginning for you." He looked happy and excited but I felt a tide of darkness wash over me.

"A new beginning because the past is gone."

"Yes! Starting new with us." He motioned around the den but I knew he meant the wolves in general.

"I miss my family Kouga." It had slipped before I could catch it and instantly regretted it. His eyes darkened and the joy from his eyes disappeared.

"I know you do." I looked up at him. That was not the response I expected from him. I expected something about the wolves being family. "And I know I can never replace them." I felt my eyes sting with tears and my cheeks dampen as the tears rolled down my face. "But I hope that even though your heart is in half between here and there-" He pointed to himself and then off into the distance meaning back to my time. "I hope that there is always a place for me." I nodded unable to make words.

"My parents were killed long ago." I looked up and him and I felt the tears stop. He was talking about his parents. "I am prince of the demon wolf tribe and I have very few memories of the king and queen." He paused, after a big exhale continued. "They were found dead in their den one morning. Nothing to indicate what happened except for their decapitated heads." I gulped and tried to hold back throwing up at the images that surfaced. "No one ever found out who or what killed them. There was no scent, no tracks or trail, there was nothing. It was assumed an assassination from a higher demon but no lines were ever drawn." He sat there staring at his hands. "I was in a small alcove no more than 15 feet from their den, I didn't hear or see anything. Of course I was only 12 so no one expected me to either." He looked me in the eye again. "I know what it is to miss your parents, I truly do but I also know that there comes a point where you no longer need their guidance. I have had elders guiding me and helping me most of my life and I don't know what I would do without their help sometimes. I also know that it is ultimately my decision as to what happens. They give me ideas and they list the ups and downs but I am expected to deem what is right for my family. My pack is my family now as they have been since I lost my parents."

"I-"

"The pack cannot replace your family but let them help patch the holes that ache when you think of them. That is all I ask." He smiled. "What do you say?" I nodded in agreement and he stood up. "It is night again. We slept all day. I am going to go get a report and food, need anything?"

"Exercise?" He smiled again and offered me a hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet, giving me a moment to wobble he wrapped an arm around my back and grabbed my hip and threw my arm over his shoulders. We made our way unsteadily, Kouga telling me about the battle between the cats and the wolves. He was quite proud of our forces, but it seemed the lynx tribe wasn't really here for a war just to check things out. He was worried, I could read it in his voice. I found that it was remarkable easier to keep pace with him and that my knees didn't try to buckle as often. We made it to the main den easy enough and Kouga sat me down on a log near the dying fire. I noticed Hakkaku and Ginta lazing about near the waterfall had jumped to attention when we neared. Kouga went over to the cooking area and grabbed some jerky for us. I chowed down happily listening to the conversation Kouga was having.

He motioned for Hakkaku and Ginta to come over to him as he sat next to me. They both bowed their respect and waited for orders.

"Relax boys. How did the perimeter sweep go?"

"Great! No lynx in sight!" Hakkaku answered quickly and happily.

"The men returned from the pursuit with no injuries claiming all the cats were dispatched." Ginta added.

"No injuries and the cats taken care of! See I wasn't needed after all!" Kouga chuckled as Hakkaku and Ginta glanced uneasily between themselves.

"Why did you come back early Kouga?" Hakkaku asked cautiously causing Kouga's laughter to cease.

"I needed to confirm the injured made it back safely and that the females were secured. We left the cave undefended and it made me uneasy." His look was serious and he was blatantly ignoring my gaze. "The men handled it fine without me."

"They are hardly men." Ginta's comment was quiet and I thought maybe Kouga was going to ignore it since he didn't respond right away.

"Do you wish to repeat that?" His voice was stern like a parent lecturing a child. Ginta made no move to look up or even note that Kouga spoke. "Ginta." He glanced up to his alpha and immediately dropped his gaze again.

"I meant nothing by it." He was trying to brush is off as nothing but it had apparently offended Kouga, he wasn't going to let this stand.

"Why would you make a remark you do not mean Ginta? I think you are lying to me and think I made a poor choice. Is this the case Ginta?" Silence filled the cavern as Kouga sat there staring at Ginta, while Hakkaku tried to scoot away from him. Ginta made no noise, no movement just sat there with his head bowed. "Do you wish to challenge my decision Ginta?" Kouga's voice had a deathly calm to it and it made my spine tingle.

"No lord Kouga. I do not." Ginta's voice was hesitant and quiet.

"You do not dispute my decision to return to the den while I dispatched men to deal with a problem?"

"No, my lord it was a good decision to remove the cats from our territory." His voice shook slightly and it only then occurred to me that he was afraid. He was afraid of Kouga right now. Kouga was set in his alpha voice and there was no arguing with him. As much as I wanted to say something my mouth would not move. Possibly because I had been on the receiving end of that quiet rage not that long ago and I know I don't want it on me again. I shivered. Kouga turned to me and I saw a flash of worry cross his eyes.

"Are you alright?" His voice held none of the ire it had previously held toward Ginta and for that I was thankful. I nodded my head and he draped his arm over my shoulders. "Why did you shiver?" I glanced up and both Hakkaku and Ginta were gone, snuck away in the moment of distraction. I mentally exhaled, at least they were spared for the night.

"Cold is all I suppose." It wasn't a lie. The fire was dying and the breeze from the waterfall was very chilly, fall was quickly upon us. "I was going to ask for a bath but I don't think I want to get in the water when it is that cold out there."

"I have to agree. Maybe warm some over the fire and clean yourself off?" I nodded, a spongebath would work too! He stood up and was moving to grab my hand to help me up when my tight lip opened.

"You scare me sometimes." He stopped moving and sat there stark still.

"I scare you?" He knelt down in front of me on his knees. He was looking into my eyes, searching for something. "When?" I glanced over to where Ginta had been sitting and I heard him do a "ah." of understanding.

"I have to be firm Kagome. I have to be a leader for my pack."

"I know, it's just that you sound so-" I thought about the word I wanted to use and the only word that made sense came out. "mean."

"I sound mean?" he chuckled. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes." My answer was short and it cut off his laughter quickly.

"I don't mean to be mean to you or sound mean but I must be authoritative." I nodded. I guess I understand that but still it left me trembling to see him so uncaring about his men for a simple comment.

"All he said was what everyone was thinking." He leaned back away from me slightly and I mentally cursed myself for saying it.

"You think I made a poor choice in leaving them out there to finish the work and returning here?"

"You should have finished it out with them." I was trying not to sound mean so as not to incur his wrath about my disobedience.

"You don't understand." He leaned back to me and placed a hand on my cheek. He has his head down and eyes closed almost like he is holding on to me for balance and strength. "I needed to be here. I couldn't keep going not knowing if you were ok." I stiffened but he continued. "We caught the scent of the scouting party right before we encountered their main force. We didn't have time to come back, we fought them off and pursued when they fled. We went so far but I had a feeling a pain in my chest that I couldn't shake about the scouting party. I knew something would happen so I returned the mated men to attend to their women and took the younger men with me to pursue. I couldn't continue though, I felt my heart being pulled away a great pain in my chest that kept getting worse." He took his other hand and placed it on his chest. "I was so afraid when I encountered Marik outside on guard. He informed me of all that happened and I made myself calm down because I now knew you were safe but I couldn't. I had to touch you I had to know." He finally opened his eyes and I saw the pain he must have felt reflected there. "I felt as if my heart would stop if I did not return to you."

My heart swelled and I leaned into wrap me arms around him in a tight hug. He returned my embrace after a moment but said nothing.

"You must stop worrying so much." I tried to be carefree about it but I myself heard the confidence in it slip. "I can take care of myself, even like this I can. Please Kouga you must place a little more faith in me." He shook his head against my shoulder.

"I know I should but I also feel that I should always be here to protect you." He looked up to me. "It is my duty as your mate."

"You constantly tell my that the tribe can be my family. A family protects one another. The women rallied with me to protect our home just as the men did for the offensive with you. You have to let me be your mate, your co-leader if you want me to feel like I am." He smiled brightly.

"You are amazing." he leaned in and quickly kissed my mouth. When he pulled back he started to smile again but a yawn overtook him. He stood and scooped me up into his arms eliciting a squeal from me. "Back to bed." We went back to our den and snuggled together on the bed. Being this close and this comfortable with any man much less Kouga a year ago would have made me blush madly. But after all that had happened I found myself completely content in his arms.

"Do you want me to get you a ring?" He seemed hesitant in questioning me. "You said it was traditional in your time." I thought about it a moment but honestly I didn't think I wanted a ring. If Kouga got me a ring it wouldn't be for any other reason than he thought I would want it for sentimental reasons.

"No, I don't."

"Why not?" He was curious but I could also hear the tiredness in his voice.

"I would rather you get me something that you think I would like and that means something to you. Instead of you getting me something that has no real hold here for you." He yawned again.

"Ok-something I like that you like that means something-" He threw he free arm over his eyes. "mmm-kay." His final ok drown off into his slight snores of sleep. I buried my head in his chest and fell right to sleep alongside him.

A/N: Sorry it took so long! Already working on the next chapter! Thank you for all the reviews and follows I appreciate it so much! I look forward to hearing from y'all! I hope you enjoyed!