Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of the Hunger Games characters, nor do I own anything else in the Hunger Games Trilogy universe. So don't sue me. In advance, this chapter has very mature themes. If you don't like that, please skip this chapter. Thank You.
Peeta and I make a grand exit. When the clock finally strikes twelve, and midnight comes upon the party, the crowd parts for an aisle, allowing us, a newly wedded couple to walk through the pathway as they toss flowers and small jewelry, things like bracelets and rings towards our feet. I have to make a point to step around them.
How could anybody throw such precious things at the floor? I think, as I take a step, my slim arm linked through Peeta's, the hem of his gold jacket hitting my back.
It's yet another reminder of how extravagant this place is. I wonder, with horror, if sex is somehow different here. Not the act itself, I'm aware of the basics, but what if they do it like they do everything else? Will I be painted in gold powder or forced into feathered underwear?
I wonder if Peeta will have odd requests for me.
Everything about sex is a little odd to me, and I'm not familiar with a lot of the acts, but I can imagine that, growing up the the Capitol, he will have different things he expects of me.
A lump forms in my throat as I think about it. I can't act disgusted by anything, I know men don't like that. I have to accept my duty as his wife. He is not only my husband, but my King. He has every right to do what he pleases with me tonight, and I cannot make any protest.
I'm not a very good liar, so my performance will probably be lacking, but I've never done anything like this before.
Peeta breaks me from my thoughts, his bright blue eyes shining as he places his soft lips against my forehead, pressing his arms against my waist and then releasing me from his grip, my shoes fumbling against the black and white checked floors of the small hallway. The doors of the ballroom make a thud as they are closed, the sounds of the crowd hushed by the separation.
"Katniss," he says to me, "Sweetheart?"
My head is turned to the floor, and I'm awkwardly tapping the ends of my shoes against the floor. Probably scuffing my wedding shoes as I do this. When they box them up, perhaps one day ending up in a museum, I wonder what they will think of my inability to keep a pair of shoes decent for one night. My mother for one, would not be proud.
"Yes, Peeta," I squeak out nervously. Wondering where we go from here. The King's wing is fairly close from this side of the palace.
He brushes his fingers against my palm, "Your prep team is going to take you from here, alright?," he kisses my forehead again and nods towards the little troop that I had been to worried to notice, "I'll see you soon."
His words burn through my thoughts as I am shuffled through numerous chambers and hallways by my prep team.
'I'll see you soon.'
Peeta and I are going to have sex. It consumes my thoughts with an unnerving sense of peril as we enter a small dressing room. It's a lot like the previous one in the way it is set up, but the fixtures seem a lot more permanent. The walls are covered in gold plated molding, appealing scenes of cherubs seemingly dining accompanied by flowers fit the towering frames that line the walls from floor to ceiling, cream walls peeking through. Arched doorways with tied back curtains lead to little covens situated in the room, mirrors and matching floral gold parlor chairs fit them. Harps and tables fit the elaborate room, leaving a space for the raised platform, made for dressing, where I currently stand.
The room is well lit, four chandeliers cast their golden light on the room. On the wall farthest from the window, shelves with numerous different sized drawers lining about ten feet.
The prep team silently removes most of my clothing, leaving only my blue ribboned underclothes on it. I figured it would also be removed, as it usually is before I am prepped for bed, but Octavia had said it was for Peeta's pleasure. Although I'm not sure why he would prefer for me to wear underclothes, if they are going to be removed anyways.
But at least I'm not being painted gold. That is a relief.
"What is this place," I ask Octavia as she pulls the laced garters back into their original position, running my pantaloons down.
She looks up at me, biting her lip in confusion, "You don't know?"
I wrinkle my forehead, "Am I supposed to know?"
I haven't exactly been paying attention to Effie's lessons on all of the rooms in the palace, so it wouldn't be a stretch to say this has already been taught to me.
"Your majesty, this is your dressing room. It's quite famous amongst the nobles as the place where the current Queen has her private hours of dressing and reflection, it is next to the most intimate and important room in the palace, the royal chamber. His majesty has a similar quarter across from the bedroom. You see that door over there?," she points to a small gilded door about twenty paces to my left, slipping what is assumedly a nightgown over my head.
"Yes," I say impatiently.
"That leads to the Royal chamber, your majesty. Of course you already know this, " I didn't know this, but I didn't speak up, "That is the only place where the King and Queen may be legally allowed to be unaccompanied. I'm sure you will enjoy the privacy," she says with a knowing wink.
It was nice to know that no guards or maids would be allowed in the room where we would be doing that, but the knowledge that my consummation was only twenty paces away frightened me.
After a few adjustments and stitches by my prep team, Octavia speaks up.
"Here you go," she says to me, smoothing out the lines of my night dress and taking my hand into hers.
"Your majesty, I'm afraid this is where we part ways. May I wish you blessings on your wedding night," she says causing the rest of the prep team to giggle as she tugs me towards the door that filled my body with dread.
Allowing one of the red and gold covered guards to open the doors, she gives me a gentle push into the room.
"I'll see you in the morning, yet again may I emphasize my blessings. I hope you have a fertile marriage, my Queen," she says giving me curtsy and allowing the door to be closed.
Traitor. Leaving me here like this, even if she knew nothing better, leaving me here is bothersome.
I look out into the room, the royal chamber is small for a room at the palace, although that is probably the point of it. It's the only place in the entire palace where I will be left without several maids and a dozen guards to accompany me.
The first thing I notice about the room is that I'm alone. There is no sign of Peeta to be found.
He must be late, or perhaps, just maybe, I hope that he has decided not to join me on our wedding night. Not that it's even possible, but I can dream.
The room is covered in the country's signature colors, red and gold. The walls are covered in rich patterned tapestries of red, with gold and green fauna. Several gold gilded chairs don red velvet with gold embroidery. The bed, our bed, a tall four poster with a pulled back canopy, sports gold and red bedding that matches the canopy's curtains. This room, unlike the previous, is dim. The chandelier that I can faintly make out on the tall ceilings is not lit, only a single lamp on a nightstand and the light from the doorway remains.
Having nothing else to do, and being unsure of my surroundings I cautiously sit down on the edge of the bed, my feet dangling over the edge. After weeks of never being alone, it's a bit odd to be in solitude.
I spend a few minutes just lying back on the bed, eventually removing the covers and sliding my body into the cool sheets. As minutes pass, my worry increases to Peeta's whereabouts. Perhaps he really has abandoned me on our wedding night, maybe to enjoy the company of another.
But alas, even as I am thinking thoughts of what women he may be enjoying, somebody bursts through the door on the opposite side of the room.
Peeta.
He's no longer dressed in the finery he wore during the day, instead he is in simple white nightclothes. His manner of dress causes me to flush bright red. I've never seen a grown man in nightclothes.
"Katniss," he says stepping onto the bed and pulling himself next to me, his body making an indent into the feathers of the mattress, "I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I had business to attend to, nothing of matter to you, but it did keep me busy for a lengthy amount of time on a rather unfortunate day."
"It's alright," I say, casting my glance downwards and playing with the trim of the covers.
Peeta slips farther into the covers, bringing himself to a complete flat position and turning himself into the pillow, a sleeping position that I often find myself in.
The silence is awkward, and I'm not sure how to proceed, so I just sit there, continuing to run my fingers over the brocade as he reaches over and turns out the lamp next to him, darkness flooding the room.
"I'm not-," my voice shakes with nervousness, "I'm not, I'm not exactly sure what to do. So, um- if you could maybe be the one to start, that would be nice," I say in the direction of his still form.
He turns his body towards me, not speaking he pulls town my pillow, motioning for me to lie down on it.
"We don't have to do anything tonight," he says, his voice raspy, "Go to sleep, Katniss."
A million emotions flood my brain. First, relief over the fact that I don't have to do anything tonight, and then nervousness over the reality of the situation before me.
"You, you don't want to be with me?"
He reaches across the bed and runs his thumb against my cheek, "It's not that at all. Of course I do, I don't, however, want you to feel the need to be with me in that manner without wanting it. That can wait for later times."
Stupid, stupid Peeta. How could he be so nice, so willing about this? Did he not understand the situation. Even I did, and I feared tonight with a passion.
"Don't be ridiculous," I said scowling at him.
"I thought you would be glad that you didn't have to do anything tonight," he says to me, his voice soft and timid.
"I am, I mean, I'm not. I just. You know what will come of this if we don't. It's our duty. How do you think your little lovers thing is going to work if we wait to do this? Don't you know what they will say? And tonight, tomorrow, a year from now. Does it really make a difference? We have to do it eventually, and we might as well get it over with now," I plead with him, barely believing that I am advocating for the thing I have dreaded.
He pauses, considering what I am saying to him.
"If this is what you want," he says to me, pulling himself closer.
"It's what we need to do," I plead to him, catching the side of his cheek with my hand.
"Okay, Katniss, Okay."
Yet again, silence fills the room.
"Do you want to start or..," I say, unsure of what to do.
He reaches over my body and pulls himself over me, arms propping himself up. I hadn't imagined that having a man on top of me would be so crushing, though I hadn't thought much of the actions itself at all.
He lowers his head to me, and places his lips on mine. It's an odd wet sensation, but it's not entirely bad. I can imagine the action being pleasant.
Running his hands along my thighs, he breaks our lips apart as he pushes the fabric of my nightgown up to my knees.
"Is this alright," he says, looking for reassurance.
I give him the nod he is looking for, which causes him to pull the nightgown farther up, I prop my body upwards in response, allowing for him to slip it over my head and cast it to the floor. All I am now wearing is my front laced corset, stockings, and pantaloons. No man in my existence, has even seen me like this in an intimate setting.
Next he silently reaches along my legs and rolls the stockings down my legs, taking the blue laced garter with them before pulling himself back to my chest and pressing his lips against my cheek, "Do you want to, or may I?" he asks, running his hands along the side of the corset.
"Um, you can if you would like to. Uh, it laces in the front. You just pull the strings at the bottom and-," he cuts me short, lowering his hands hesitantly to the strings.
"I know, I'm aware of how it works."
Stupid, stupid, Katniss. Of course he does. He has probably had quite a bit of practice with women. The thought of Peeta with some pretty little Capitol blonde agitates me and I briefly scowl, which he notices, causing him to speak up.
"Katniss, if you don't want to do this. We can stop now. I'm not sure if we go any further if I could handle that."
I bite my lip, "No. I don't want to stop, just go."
His hands are slow and cautious as he makes his way through the laces, loosening the corset and exposing my breasts to the air. I let out a moan of relief at the removal of the tight stays, which seems to unnaturally spur him on and he tosses the article off of the bed, causing me to cover my breasts.
He slips his hands over mine, nudging them away from my body and placing a quick kiss on my lips, "Don't do that," he runs his hands gently along the edges of my body, his fingers sliding against my nipples.
"You're beautiful."
I'm not beautiful, although I'm certainly not ugly. And my small breasts certainly aren't desirable, but it's a nice comment for him to make.
Peeta slides his body a few inches down the bed, lowering his face against my chest, and bringing his lips against my nipples. It feels very very odd, but at the same time pleasant. So I don't say anything, and I allow him to continue placing kisses against me. He continues to lower his body, trailing his kisses down my stomach before stopping at the waist of the pantaloons.
He looks up at me, meeting his eyes with mine and placing his hands on the waistband, "You're not going to enjoy it, at least, not the first time."
"Does that matter?," I had never thought of this as something pleasurable for us to do. This was my duty. It wasn't about enjoyment.
"It does to me. You will get used to it after a while, but there is something I want to try with you. Can I remove these?," he nods towards the only piece of clothing that I remain in.
"Of course you may, Peeta," I say, allowing for him to slip it off my legs, exposing the entirety of my body to him.
Author's Note: There you go! I am sending this to you now, freshly typed, because I want to get this out as soon as possible. I haven't had wifi for the past week, which is why I haven't updated the story. I'm really sorry about that, so I wanted to give all of my readers this chapter.
If you read Second Chances, I already have half of that chapter written and will be updating soon!
As always, you can follow me on tumblr at starveinsafety.
Also, just a fanfic recommendation. If you haven't already, I would recommend you read "When the Moon Fell in Love with the Sun." If you like this story, you will probably (and I'm not sure how you could not) LOVE this one. Trust me, leave this chapter right now and go read this fanfic.