Short plot bunny that came to me while browsing TVTropes. Will stay a one-shot, but if anybody wants to make a story, that's fine. Just send me a message first, please. I would want to read that.
I apologize for Canadian spelling and any linguistic irregularities. My first language is not English.
Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Aperture Science Laboratories, a mere kilometre from the abandoned test tracks of the Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Centre, a lone headcrab scurried through a broken Aperture Science Pneumatic Diversity Vent. Perhaps, in another world, it could have been peacefully allowed to reach its destination. In this, however, that was not the case.
A lone spark of electricity arced through the air and onto the aforementioned segment of the Aperture Science Pneumatic Diversity Vent. Said Aperture Science Pneumatic Diversity Vent activated for a split second as the long dormant vacuum tube received a jolt of voltage. That split second was sufficient to launch the headcrab out of the tube and down into the decaying laboratory below.
As the headcrab scuttled away from the frightening experience, it accidentally dislodged an Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube filled with bags of Aperture Science Metal-Free Circuits that were bound for the Aperture Science computer-aided Product Distribution Centre in Atlanta. Luckily for the Aperture Science Metal-Free Circuits, a 2200 Megawatt Aperture Science Light Duty Super-Colliding Super Button was there to catch the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube. As electricity started sparking around an Aperture Science Unknown Contraption With Tesla Coils Attached for Some Reason (the ASUCWTCAfSR was very commercially successful in the mad scientist market), the headcrab crawled out of view, unaware of the chaos it had caused.
An Aperture Science Employee Observation Camera caught the incident on video, and immediately proceeded to relay it to the Aperture Science Announcement System Control Sphere, 6 kilometres away. Upon watching the footage, said Sphere merely turned and selected the previously mentioned laboratory, pressing one of the millions of buttons surrounding him with his Aperture Science Core Operated Manipulator Arms. He then archived the incident under the proper filename and put it out of his simulated mind.
4 kilometres away, the Aperture Science Intelligence Dampening Sphere known as Wheatley heard an announcement ring through the facility.
"Locational Destabilizer activated. Condition: Destabilized. Trans-Universal Travel Imminent."
Wheatley mused for a moment about the consequences of being in a different universe on his far-off escape plans. His highly sophisticated mind then distracted itself in a long soliloquy on the matters of proper terminology; whether the proper term was 'Universe' or 'Dimension'. After a prolonged period of thought, Wheatley decided that it didn't overly matter. He also then decided that so much thinking was too much for him, and proceeded down his management rail, around the stacks of corps… Test Subjects, and simply forgot about the whole incident.
Somewhere in the outer ring of Ba Sing Se, a merchant is growing cabbages in order to sell them later. His eyes swell with tears of joy as he sees his cabbages, ripe and ready to be put into his cart and sold.
His tears become tears of horror as he sees a monolithic metal structure replace his cabbage field. It is heavily overgrown, rusted, and abandoned. Every door and window is blocked and barred with metal. A heart-wrenching scream splits the night like a sword, one which is heard practically everywhere.
Pakku of the Northern Water Tribe and Kanna, his old beloved, have not seen each other for many years, and have not even thought of each other for a long time. If they are ever to find out about this moment, they would probably be surprised that their thoughts were so similar: 'Where is that echo coming from?' and 'Why is it saying "MY CABBAGES!"?'
At first, the earthbender demolition experts dismissed the reports of an enormous metal structure appearing out of nowhere. Not even the Avatar, were he alive, had enough power to create such a structure from nothing.
Apparently they did not count on finding incontrovertible proof of it being real.
They also didn't count on it being impervious to their spikes of rock.
The last thing they expected was the building talking to them. Of course, that is what was happening now.
"Aperture Science reminds you that damaging all and any Aperture Science property, up to and including the primary Aperture Science Laboratories headquarters building, may result in demerit points, fines, a violent death, and a lower test subject rating." states an apathetic male voice.
"How is this… thing so STRONG?!" yells Shou Pain, the most powerful member of the group.
"All Aperture Science equipment and construction is made to withstand energies up to, and equal to, the complete annihilation of the known universe."
"Just LEAVE HERE!"
"This Aperture Science Laboratories facility is unable to 'leave' and, in fact, cannot move."
"LEAVE THE WAY YOU CAME!" screams the frustrated earthbender.
"The activation of the Aperture Science Locational Destabilizer requires permission from the CEO of Aperture Science."
"ASK THEM!"
"The CEO of Aperture Science is unavailable due to [REDACTED]. The acting CEO is unavailable due to [death] caused by [dangerous mute lunatic]"
The last three words are said in a cold female voice, bringing chills to their spines.
"What are we going to do?" someone asks quietly.
"Why is it talking so weirdly?" another person asks.
"All current messages in the Aperture Science Announcement System are pre-recorded due to the apocalyptic state of the Aperture Science Speaker System. All complaints are to be forwarded to the number (888) BUR-NING, extension LEM-ONS. They will be forwarded to Black Mesa, 'the idiots who cause all of our problems'."
With the heavily emotional old man's voice at the end, the demolition team does all they can.
Meanwhile, King Bumi of Omashu sits on his throne, wondering where the scream of frustration came from.
"Aperture Science reminds all Dai Li agents that it is futile to defeat an organization which has recorded messages for more situations than there are digits in the number pi."
"Open your doors or crumble before our might"
"The doors of the Aperture Science Laboratories has not been opened for 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999…"
"What- What's happened?"
"Initiating system reboot."
Long Feng submitted upon learning about the square miles of metals discovered underneath the ground, preventing the Dai Li from simply burrowing in. The building was then disguised as a sculpture of cultural significance while agents of the Emperor worked tirelessly and fruitlessly to learn its secrets.
"Aperture Science does not condone the use of the Aperture Science Laboratories as a cultural icon. Aperture Science does not allow construction above the Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Centre. Violators of these guidelines shall be thrown down a closed Aperture Science Vital Apparatus Vent, as decreed by CEO Cave Johnson circa 1972."
They weren't sure they wished to validate the threat.
Toph Bei Fong's eyes suddenly widened.
"Hey guys… something's wrong with the earth here."
"What is it, Toph?" asked Avatar Aang.
"The earth suddenly cuts off a bit underneath the ground. It's like there's a cave there."
Joo Dee suddenly started speaking. "This is a cultural site. We are not allowed here."
"But…" Aang trailed off as she led them away.
A square of soil lifted out of place as a panel came out of the ground, waving goodbye. Its comrades were angry at it for the next 21.974 days, but that particular panel did not care. It had fun.
Toph could feel the massive metal network in the ground, stretching beyond what she could feel. During any other time she would have explored it, but now was the worst time to do so.
Azula would not get bested by a stupid pile of metal!
"Aperture Science reminds you that damaging all and any Aperture Science property, up to and including the primary Aperture Science Laboratories building, may result in demerit points, fines, a violent death, and a lower test subject rating."
She growled and tried to melt the building with with her fire.
"Aperture Science would like to remind you that all Aperture Science Technologies remain operational up to, and including, temperatures of fifteen million degrees Kelvin."
Down in Test Chamber 10 of the only currently running Test Track, Chell was forced to listen to GlaDOS talk and talk AND TALK. She paused a bit when GLaDOS mentioned alternate universes, however.
"It seems that after you KILLED ME, the facility was transported to an alternate universe. Oh well. Shouldn't matter to you, seeing as you never had friends in the old universe either."
Chell ignored her. Whether she was lying or not would not affect the tests, and anything was better than Aperture in her mind.
Despite the sound being dampened by the large volume of metal and dirt, the explosion was still powerful enough to wake many of the citizens of Ba Sing Se. Some rushed to their windows, seeing a sliver of cold white light spill through a hole in the ground. Said hole closed itself before investigations could commence.
Due to the nature of the investigation, none noticed the small metal shed appear out of nowhere. As they had gone to contact the proper authorities regarding the explosion, nobody noticed an orange-clad woman exit the shed, followed by an unknown cube with hearts drawn on it. The look of joy on her face was left unseen.
Speaking of joy, the ratty man wearing a dirty, ragged lab coat had the exact same expression on his face, due to his knowledge of computer hacking and Aperture Science Emergency Evacuation Elevators.
The ASL, AScaEC, ASPDV, ASWSC, ASMFC, AScaPDC, 2200MwASLDSCSB, ASUCWTCAfSR, ASEOC, ASAS, ASASCS, ASCOMA, ASIDS, ASLD, ASSS, ASVAV, and ASEEE are the property of the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System and Aperture Science™.