I'm not dead. Well, I might be. Sooooo unbeta'd.
-/-
Craig wasn't the most energetic of people, per say. Well, to be honest he was downright lazy – if it were up to him, he would rather just stay home and watch Red Racer all day long. But that wasn't an option for him. He had to do this, he HAD to participate. Even if he wanted to or not. So he did. However, no one ever did specify for him exactly how he was meant to contribute to these kinds of things.
Big mistake.
Craig was someone who needed details, if not included he would abuse the system entirely. And that's what he was doing at this moment. Craig was standing in the center of the gym floor, fully clothed in his casual wear and texting. Texting Clyde.
"Tucker!" The couch roared out at him. The noirette looked upwards and noticed everyone was running laps around him. Doing the warm up runs. Both his brows seemed to twitch up in understanding, he smirked though. Craig didn't care.
"What?" He snapped back at the couch.
"What do you think you're doing? Ten laps, now!"
A new message chimed in and Clyde's named popped up on the screen, Craig became engulfed and his surroundings disappeared once more.
(From) Clyde:
What do you mean Tweek's coming over to your house? How in the world did you manage to score that?
Craig leers once again. Exactly, he thought, jackpot.
(To) Clyde:
What? Jealous tubby?
(To) Clyde:
Just because I've got the balls to do what you wish you could do?
-/-
(From) Clyde:
Screw you!
(From) Clyde:
I could do that if I wanted to! But, uh… you know I can't today… I'm sick. That's why I stayed home…
Craig seemingly doesn't believe this load one bit and makes it know to his friend.
(To) Clyde:
I call BS on you being sick.
Craig rolls his eyes but then has a thought.
(To) Clyde:
You're just sitting at home masturbating to Token's voicemail.
Craig laughs softly because man, sometimes he just kills himself.
(From) Clyde:
When you go to hell, say HI to Kenny for me.
Craig's eyes shoot up and land on the blonde at hand; he's wearing one seriously filthy shirt and a pair of clean black shorts that are most definitely not his, probably Kyle's. That boy has a heart of gold sometimes.
(To) Clyde:
He's here today actually. I'll make sure and ask him what it's like down there so I can prepare for my decent.
-/-
(From) Clyde:
Whatever…
(From) Clyde:
What are you going to do once you get Tweek at your house?
Craig wasn't ever able to send the message, however, the next thing Craig sees is a newspaper come out of nowhere and fly right at his face. Smack. He recoils from the hit, his nose stinging a bit and oh my god was someone about to die from this.
"Laps. Now." Couch growls for the last time and Craig finally gives in. But not before he flips the teacher off right in plain view, finally sprinting off in circles with the others. Man, this was a horrible day for Craig to decide not to bring his clothes for gym class. Sweating…
"So, is this for real?" He hears Stan ask him as they enter History class. History was Craig's favorite class, favorite because it was the class he was able to sleep through and still pass without worry. Mainly because he would always copy off of Stan, whom beforehand would always copy off of Kyle. The smartest kid in the whole class.
"Is what for real?" He was so annoyed right as he was wide awake. Stupid Stan, he groaned.
"You know… You and Tweek."
Oh, duh Craig. He raises his head that was resting against the desk and just stares at Stan a moment, "Oh, I don't know. Are you and Kyle for real?" He counters.
"Well, yeah… Of course we are, everyone already knows that." Stan has pink cheeks and Craig hates that because damn does dating really turn everyone into a love sick sap like that? Just thinking about the person you're dating makes you blush and smile like a buffoon. Craig could honestly name off five other couples that would do that very thing. He hates it.
"Me and Kyle are different though." He hears Stan continue and pays attention the best he can. "Me and Kyle are forever. We're super best friends. We've been friends since birth. So… Our relationship is different."
The noirette can tell Stan isn't finished speaking but he can't help but cut in. "Oh, I'm so sure that you and Kyle play video games with one hand and jack each other off with the other. That's true friendship right there." His voice is so dull in this conversation, he isn't even really trying. But Stan's face has turned red, but not in anger and Craig just smiles like the devil. Not the real gay devil, a devil like image in his mind of someone cool. Someone evil.
"Guess that tells me everything I need to know."
Craig lays his head back down because he knows he's won this round and Stan is way too mortified to say anything else. Craig can't blame him either. Oh well though. He likes winning sometimes, only when it truly matters. And this whole ordeal with Tweek is something that matters the most.
Craig leaves during the middle of class because he really needs to take a piss. He doesn't bother to tell the teacher, he never does and the teacher doesn't give two cents about it. He's walking down the hallway, hands shoved in his pockets when he hears someone whispering from around the corner. Oh? He becomes more than intrigued and stops his movements – he stays silent and just listens soundlessly.
"Wait… Are you being serious?"
I know that voice, Craig thinks to himself. It's the voice of the poor, it's Kenny McCormick. The halls become mute once more and Craig already knows that Kenny is talking to someone on the phone. How he was able to afford a phone and not a decent pair of pants was something Craig just could not comprehend. He shakes his head and continues to listen.
"Like… You're being serious? You aren't screwing with me right? Because I'm gonna be hella pissed if you're messing with me." Kenny's voice is amused with a mixture of attentiveness hidden beyond it.
He's biting his lip right now because man this is sounding so juicy…
"Alright…" He can hear Kenny clicking his tongue against his teeth before speaking again. "After school." Another pause. "Your parents won't be home?" He hears Kenny snicker and breathe deeply the word, "Perfect." It seemed more like a purr though. "Baby, i'm going to rock your world tonight."
Who….. in the hell…. Craig wants to scream out loud but doesn't. He hears McCormick's footsteps grow louder, he's heading right for him – he's going to turn the corner and find Craig listening in.
Ohshitohshitohshit…
The noirette turns the corner fast and hard, making it seem as though he had been walking this whole time, and slammed bodies with Kenny. He didn't, however, anticipate the angles of the two and their foreheads smacked together.
"Ah!" They simultaneously yelped and landed on top of one another. Groaning voices and head rubbing is the only thing they each can do. Kenny is on his back and Craig on top of him, Kenny oddly has a delightful scent about him. Craig raises himself up a bit and is now hovering over the blonde. He looks down at him and Kenny's face is far from amused at the situation.
"Your head is like a rock." The poor boy comments. Craig wants to add a dirty comment to that but doesn't and just shakes away the pain.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't act like you've never fantasied about being under me, McCormick."
"Me under you? No. You under me? Yes."
Craig raises a brow and finally stands up and off of him, "In your dreams." He brushes himself off and Kenny is on his feet in a matter of seconds, picking his phone up and checking to make sure it's okay. Damn. Craig could have caught a glimpse of who he was speaking with on the phone if he hadn't been distracted from the pain in his forehead.
"Pay attention next time, Whore." It's not a mean thing to say, it's playful.
"Same to you, Reject." They smile and parts ways on good terms. Craig can't help but pull his own phone out and text Clyde about what just happened. It was just too good to keep to himself. The rest of the day isn't as exciting, just the usual slow school day. Pizza for lunch though, that was one good thing. He didn't bother Tweek that whole day, he didn't have too. He was going to have all the fun he could get when Tweek came over to his house.
He couldn't stop himself from grinning when the final bell rang. He doesn't rush though, that's just stupid. He goes to his locker and gets everything he needs, wait- did he have any assignments he needed to do tonight? No? He shoves the books back in his locker and shrugs. He doesn't care. He'll just copy off someone before first period tomorrow. He wouldn't have time to do it tonight. He pats his pants pocket. He remembers his little friend, the condom. Yeah, way too busy to do any homework tonight.
Craig glances down the hallway and sees his shaking target at his own locker. He's so small and innocent. And Craig can't wait. He heads over to Tweek, leans against the lockers as wide doe like eyes stare back at him. No words were said however, which seemed pretty strange to Craig, but he didn't mind. They started walking to Craig's house together.
Clyde never did text him back, he remembers.
-/-
Oh how I wish I could hurry and write smut for these too. Oh, but not yet. /saddness