Lucy had been in the hospital for two days and she already hated it. The nurse had taken her twice to see Able, but seeing her baby locked in a toaster was just too much for her. After breaking down crying this afternoon, Jax had ordered his mother to stay with Lucy. Now Gemma felt obliged to babysit and had spent all evening entertaining her. Lucy wasn't really paying attention to her and she was pretty relieved when Gemma said good-bye shortly after nine.
"I'm still going to see the baby, then I need to get home. Jax will probably come around tomorrow morning."
"Fine," Lucy said.
Gemma kissed her and left the room.
Lucy couldn't stop her tears from falling when she thought about little Able in the ventilator. She had always wanted to have a natural birth and she had already read a couple of books on breastfeeding. Now her baby was fed by a tube and she was pumping milk for the garbage bin.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She cursed, slamming her fist onto the night stand, completely forgetting about her broken rips and C-section scar. A sharp pain shot into her torso and she had to concentrate to stop herself from hyperventilating.
Lucy closed her eyes and started to drift into thoughts.
She had always wanted to be a mommy and ever since she and Jackson had started going out, she had wanted his babies. After what had happened to her parents, Jax had taken care of her. It had taken her more than two years to get back onto her feet, but Jax had stayed with her all that time.
Everything she had, she owed to him. He had never given up on her and she had never given up on him. And no matter what he had to do to keep his club or his family safe, she never judged, she supported. Sometimes her own casualness scared her, but she knew her place and she'd do anything for him. She loved him and she wanted all the things he wanted, no matter the cost.
Lucy was ripped out of her thoughts, when the room door was opened. It was Donna, Opie's old lady. She smiled. Donna and her used to be very close, but ever since Opie had gone to prison Donna resented the club, and stayed away from anyone affiliated with it.
"Hi Lucy, I just wanted to check up on you. Opie told me what happened. I'm really sorry."
She walked over and took Lucy's hand: "If you need anything, I'm here."
Lucy smiled and patted her hand: "Thanks Donna. I appreciate that."
"Yeah, I saw Gemma, she took me to see Abel. He is perfect and so strong."
"He's already a fighter," Lucy said, trying to hold back her tears.
"Well, I better go. The nurse already gave me a nasty look when she saw me come out of the elevator. I wish you all the best," Donna leaned forward, kissed her cheek and headed for the door.
"See you soon," Lucy said, knowing exactly what she implied with that.
"Bye Lucy," was all Donna replied.

The next morning Lucy was finally allowed to shower, the scar on her stomach hurt and it was really hard showering with your whole body aching, but at least she felt fresh again. A nurse had to help her with everything and when she was finally laying in her bed again she was exhausted.
Jax arrived pretty late and she was bored out of her mind.
"I'm sorry baby, but there was some real bad shit going on."
"Tell me, please. I fell so left out of everything."
"You know I tell you everything, but not here. Not like this, I don't want you to worry." He leaned forwards and kissed her softly.
Lucy cursed and threw her head back in frustration. She was bored out of her mind and the doctor's told her she would have to stay in the hospital for at least a week. And the casket on her leg, well that wouldn't come off for at least another five weeks.
"Have you figured out who did this to us?" She asked her husband.
Jax shook his head. He took her hand in his.
"I promise I will figure out who did this and they are going to pay for it."
"Good."
Jax and the boys were sure that her accident was no accident and it made Lucy crazy, that the person that did this to Abel was still running around alive.
"Do you want to see the baby?"

Lucy nodded and Jax helped her into the wheelchair. He pushed her slowly into the N.I.C.U., careful not to hurt her.
Lucy started crying as soon as they saw him. She wanted to hold him so badly. Jax tried to soother her but she was too upset to listen to anything he said.
"I think it is better I take you back. The doctors said to go slow."
"No. Please Jax. Please don't make me leave him." She was sobbing. Her whole body ached and everything inside her screamed of pain.
"I can't see you like this baby. Please. I know how hard this must be. But in a few weeks we'll be able to take him home."
"Yeah, right. If he survives," Lucy spit out those words like acid. She didn't even mean it, but she knew what could happen to her boy and she needed to say it out load.
Jax shocked expression made her calm down.
"You don't mean that," Jax hissed. His eyes filled with tears. Lucy wanted to take it back, but she knew she couldn't. She had never seen Jax cry. He was clenching his fists, taking short rapid breaths.
"I'm sorry. Of course I don't" Lucy cried, pulling him towards her: "I'm just really scared."
Jax nodded, biting his lower lip. He took her into his arms and stroke her hair. She knew that he was still crying, but she didn't say anything. It was time for her to shut up.

Jax felt horrible leaving Lucy alone in the hospital, but he still had to take care of so much stuff. On the parking lot he ran into his mother.
"Hey baby," she said, kissing him softly.
"Hey ma'" He kissed back and leaned against her car.
"How's Lucy and the baby?"
"Lucy is fucked up. She cries every time she sees Abel. The doctor's told me they are going in to fix his heart in a couple of days. To see him like this, it's breaking her."
"Oh honey, I know. But you have to be strong. You got to hold it all together. You're a father now."
"Yeah, for how long? A day? A week?" Jax snorted.
His mother gave him an intense look: "You know, you were born with that same heart defect your little brother had." She punched him slightly and continued: "Seems pretty sturdy to me. I've been through hell, landed on my feet. Your father was hit by a goddamn semi, dragged 178 yards. And that bastard lived for two more days. Teller's do not die easy."
Jax crossed his arms: "No. We just die bloody."
He walked towards his bike, then he turned: "Please keep me posted."
"Sure."
His mother waved at him, then entered the hospital.

Lucy was lying in bed snoozing when Gemma arrived. She opened her eyes and smiled.
"Hey. You missed Jax, he just left."
"I ran into him on the parking lot. He seemed upset."
"Yeah," Lucy looked at the floor: "That's my fault. I said something about Abel, which really hurt his feelings. I didn't even mean it."
Gemma leaned forward, kissed her and then dropped herself in the by-standing empty chair.
"You need to get your shit together darlin'. You're his mother." She leaned forward holding on the Lucy's chin. "If you don't believe he is gonna make it, you can just go and kill him yourself."
Lucy knew she was right, she buried her face in her hands and started crying.
"I know Gemma. I know you're right."
Gemma hugged her: "Abel needs all your strength. I know it hurts, but you need to get it together."
Lucy nodded, wiping away her tears.
Gemma held her hand and caressed her cheek: "You are the best god damn parents this boy could have. Of course he is going to make it."