Dear Readers :) This chaptered turned out very long, is pretty distrubing in some places and please beware of SMUT ! I am looking forward to every single review I get ! :)

Past:Leaving Charming

Lucy was trying to fit the last of her things into the large carton box standing on her bed. She looked around, her childhood bedroom was almost empty. No photos or posters covering the walls, no papers on her large white desk and no books in the bookshelf standing next to her TV.
She taped the last box shut and placed it next to piled boxes and her big suite case.
It was the 28th of august, in the summer after High School; and she was going to leave Charming early the next morning. She knew Jax didn't want her to go, but she had gotten a scholarship to college and she wasn't going to turn that down. She knew she would miss Jax, but the University of Nevada was only a little over two hours away and they would try to see each other as often as possible.
Lucy had always dreamt of going to college and become a nurse; and now her dream was within reach.
She had promised Jax to come by around four to still spent some alone time together before around eight everyone else would arrive for her going away Dinner. Her mother and Gemma had spent all morning together, cooking and probably drinking some. Because when her mother arrived about an hour ago, she had went straight to bed.
"I need to catch some sleep, baby. Tonight is your big night, I want to be well rested." Her mother had giggled.
Lucy laughed of the memory. Her mother usually didn't drink much and in contrary to Gemma she barely smoked, but when the two old ladies spent time together they always had just a little too much.
Lucy checked the time and realized that she had to hurry if she still wanted to shower. It was almost four o'clock and she always needed some time to get ready. After a nice long shower, she put on her favorite black dress and flats. She let her hair fall as it pleased, then she grabbed her purse and headed for her car.

She arrived at Jax' a couple of minutes later. When she got out of her car, she saw Jax sitting on the front steps smoking a cigarette.
"Hey," he smiled at her. She walked over and sat down next to him.
"You look great." He smiled, then placed one hand on the back of her head and pulled her close. He gave her sweet lingering kiss, his tongue playing with hers. His beard was tickling her and she tried to remember when it had started growing so thick.
They both had turned eighteen in the last few month and just a few weeks ago they had celebrated their two year anniversary. Jax had taken her out for dinner and a movie, but the date had ended after dinner, when they started making out in his truck. Still it had been a great night and she reckoned this night was going to be even better.
"Let's go inside. My mom is still out running some errands and Clay is still at the club house."
Lucy nodded and followed him inside.

Jax kissed her passionately and Lucy caught on very fast. Before she knew it, he had pulled up her dress and down her slip. She was standing against the wall, her arms around his neck, her mouth covered by his. He didn't wait but picked her up and thrust into her so deeply she moaned. He was sweating, his long hair sticking to his forehead, his breath hot against her throat. She didn't have to do anything but enjoy the moment. His strong arms were holding her close and he controlled every move they made. After a few moments she was breathing heavy as well waiting for that sweet final thrust that would send her over the edge.
Minutes later Jax was carrying her to his bed, stroking her hair and kissing her face. He lay her down, but she got up again to take of her clothes, she didn't want to crinkle her dress. Jax followed her lead and when they slid beneath the covers, dressed in nothing but their underwear, Lucy wanted to do it all over again. She pulled him close and kissed him softly. She didn't let him hurry anything. This time it wasn't a great fuck, it was making love and Lucy liked it just as much. Jax took his time and they spent a long time just moving together.
Afterwards Jax fell asleep right away and Lucy lay there watching him sleep. It wasn't until she could hear the first people arrive that she decided to wake him up.

"Where is mum?" Lucy asked her father when everybody was there except her. It didn't seem like her mother to be later for Lucy's going-away dinner.
"She said she'll be here on time. Maybe she did have a little too much to drink and is still sleeping."
Lucy nodded, but she didn't really believe it.
When her mother still hadn't arrived after dinner Lucy started to worry. She called her mother's cell and their home number a couple of times, but no one answered.
"Daddy? Do you think everything is ok?"
"Of course." Her dad answered, then continued talking to Bobby.
Lucy really wanted to go check on her mother, but it was her last night with Jax and she didn't want to ruin it by leaving.
At eleven Lucy and Jax excused themselves so Jax could drive her home. Her train was leaving early the next morning and they still wanted some alone time together.
She hugged and kissed everyone goodbye. She hugged her dad last, he kissed her and said: "I'll take you to the station tomorrow, your mother has to start work early."
She smiled at him: "Jax wanted to take me."
"Oh." He didn't say anything further, but she knew that she had just hurt his feelings.
"I mean you can both take me, right?"
"Sure," Jax butted in and lay his arm over her dad's shoulder.
He dad laughed: "I guess that means we'll have to take the cage."
"Man, I have to wait another three years until I get out of that thing." Jax said.
Pete laughed and pulled Lucy close again: "Check on your mom."
"Sure daddy." Lucy smiled, then Jax and her left the house and headed for Lucy's car.

Jax and she talked all the way back to her place. The only thing they didn't talk about was Nevada. When Jax parked the car, they stayed seated for a little while, talking about their plans.
It took Lucy some time, but finally she found the right words: "Listen. I know it sucks that I'm going away and I know it angers you that I'm leaving you behind. I've always known you didn't want to go to college. I know your dream is getting a cut and a bike. I respect that and I don't need you to do anything else. But I am not leaving you, I am just leaving this town for a few years to pursue my own dreams and when I'm done I'll come back here. I promise. I'll always be your old lady. And being a nurse isn't my only dream, you know that."
Jax took her hand and squeezed it: "I think it's good that you are doing what you are doing. I love you for following your dreams. I'm just going to miss you."
Lucy nodded, then she leaned towards him and gave him a soft kiss.
"Come on," Jax said and got out of the car.
The couple walked up the small path that led to Lucy's front door.
"That's weird." Lucy said, when she saw that the door was standing ajar.
"Maybe your mother left and forgot to lock the door?"
"Maybe," Lucy said, but she had this odd sensation that something was horribly wrong.
She pushed the door open and called for her mother, but no one answered.
"We should call your dad." Jax said and pulled out his cell phone.
Lucy shook her head: "Maybe I didn't close the door properly and she is still sleeping upstairs. Wait here."
She hurried up the stairs but found her parent's bedroom empty.
"She's not in bed," Lucy called from upstairs. Jax was still standing in the hall when she came back downstairs: "We probably missed her."
Jax shrugged his shoulders: "Probably."
"You go upstairs, I'll get us something to drink. Ok?"
Jax nodded and headed up the stairs.
Lucy took off her shoes and walked barefoot into the kitchen. The light was out and when she stepped into something wet, she thought the dishwasher broke again.
"Shit," she searched for the light switch and when she finally found it and the room was lit - she screamed.
She was looking at her mother, lying in a puddle of blood. It took Lucy some time to realize that it was her mother's blood that felt warm at her feet. She tumbled forwards, falling to her knees. She was still screaming, when she shook her mother, but of course there was no reaction. Her mother was pale and when she touched her she felt cold against Lucy's skin. Lucy could see movement behind her but she didn't turn. She didn't care. She was screaming in agony, holding her mother tight, rocking back and forth. She didn't know how long he had been sitting there, screaming and crying. She didn't hear or see anything that was going on behind her.
She didn't see Jax, who tried to pull her away. She didn't notice how she fought him off, scratching and biting. She didn't hear how he called her father and Clay. She didn't feel any time pass. She didn't hear her father calling her name, when he ran up the stairs and into the house. She just screamed and begged. Begged for her mother to wake up and begged for herself to wake up.
Together Clay and Jax were able to pull her away. This time she didn't fight, she let herself be pulled into the living room. Jax held her tight, whispered soothing words into her ear and screaming things towards Clay.
She didn't react to anything. Jax tried to make her look at him, but she just starred past him, watching her father.
He was kissing her mother's face, howling in pain and disbelief.
"Oh baby. No. Please. No. No. Mira. No!"
Lucy just stared at him.
Jax was still talking to her, his face only inches away from hers and slowly he moved into focus.
"Baby? Can you hear me? Lucy?"
She looked at him.
"Lucy? Please say something baby." He turned towards Clay: "I think she's in shock."
"What the fuck happened?" Tig, who just entered, called. Clay pulled him aside, but Lucy couldn't understand what he was saying. She could hear more bikes on the street outside and sirens becoming louder. More and more people arrived and Lucy suddenly felt very tired. Jax was still trying to get her attention but she couldn't speak.
She watched Jax as he talked to Unser, who must have arrived shortly after Tig.
"No you can't question her." Jax said, his voice full of worry.
"Son, I need to talk to her. We need to know what happened."
"No you won't." Jax hissed: "She won't even talk to me. She's been through enough. You can talk to her tomorrow."
Clay stepped in, his large frame shielding Unser from Lucy's vision: "Jax' right. You will have to do it tomorrow."
Lucy felt relieved when she saw Unser shrug his shoulders and turn, he didn't dare disregard Clay's orders.
"Jax?" She finally found her ability to speak. Jax rushed over. He was so tall, that even though she was sitting on the couch and he was kneeling in front of it, his face was above her.
"I'm here. What happened?"
"Get it off me." She wept.
"Get what off?"
"Her blood. It's all over me."
Lucy tried rubbing it off. There was blood everywhere. Her hands, her clothes and of course on her feet. She couldn't even run for the bathroom. The thought of the warm sensation beneath her soles made her sick. Jax barely made it out of the way when she lost all of Gemma's delicious cooking onto the living room carpet.
"Oh baby," Jax whispered. He exchanged looks with Clay. Lucy was still gaging when he pulled her up. "Come on."
He carried her into the first floor bathroom. He helped her out of her clothes and into the shower. The hot water turned red before it reached the drain and the sight of it made her sick again. Jax helped her as much as he could and watched her as she scrubbed her body so hard it left marks.
"Baby that's enough." He said and turned off the water. He helped her out of the shower and into some new clothes. They lay down next to each other. Jax pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. He stroke her hair and soothed her. It didn't take long when her breathing steadied and she fell asleep.

When Lucy awoke the next morning it was still dark outside. It took only a moment when the events of the past night crashed into her. She couldn't feel Jax behind her and for a second she thought he had left, but then she heard voices downstairs and she could make out Jax' among them.
She got up, put on an old sweater and headed downstairs.
Her eyes hurt from crying and her throat hurt from throwing up. But the worst pain she felt was coming from deep inside her. Like her core had been damaged. She entered the living room. Everyone was there, everyone except her dad.
"Where is he?" She asked loudly to over sound the voices.
The room grew quit.
"We don't know," Clay said.
Lucy didn't answer but turned around and faced the kitchen. Most of the blood was still there, but her mother's body was gone.
"Where is she?" Lucy cried, tears streaming down her face.
"They had to take her, baby." It was Jax. He was standing right behind her.
"What can I do?" he continued, both of his hands supporting her.
"I need to talk to my father."
"We tried calling him. When they took Mira away he left. He said he needed some air, but he didn't come back."
Lucy felt anger build up inside. How could they just let him go by himself?
"Find him." She barked, then facing the men sitting in the living room, her voice load and strong: "You better find him!"

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