The boat came to a stop as it hit the shore, jolting a bit at the impact.

"Everyone out." Charon hurriedly swept us out of his boat, and we all carefully climbed out, some old, primal instinct telling us not to accidently fall in the water, or there would be consequences.

As I exited the boat, I couldn't help but make one last spiteful jab at Charon. "I hope your stupid suit gets ruined by the river water."

Charon flashed me a nasty glare and I smirked, pulling the little boy along with me.

We all lined up, single file, and began a long march on the winding path that led to God knows where.

I chatted with the little boy as we went, not only trying to pass the time but was also genuinely interested in his past.

"So, what's your name? I'm Kate."

Giving me a small, shy smile, the boy answered a bit bashfully. "I'm Sebastian. I'm six." He made the symbol for six with the hand that wasn't holding mine, his thumb and pinky sticking out.

I grinned. "Six? Wow, you're such a big boy!" I ruffled his hair (a bit affectionately, though I'd never admit it).

Sebastian flushed proudly. "I can take care of myself. That's what my mommy said."

"That's great, buddy." I was an only child, so interacting with children was a bit alien to me, but Sebastian was such a sweet kid that I never felt annoyed by him, as I often did with other children.

"How did you die?" He asked curiously, his eyes filled with the desire to know more; something that grew strong in children but faded by the time they became teenagers.

There was a flash of a large piece of concrete falling onto my body, its shadow eclipsing my body completely as it came closer and closer, the inevitable feeling of being crushed falling with it; my body tensing and anticipating—

I inhaled sharply, shaking all memories away. "Well, there was an earthquake, and a big rock fell on me." As I said it out loud, I couldn't help but feel silly. "It's a bit embarrassing, isn't it?"

"Not at all!" Sebastian blinked up at me earnestly, "That sounds terrible."

"Thanks, kiddo." My face softened and I gave him a warm smile. "What about you?"

His brows furrowed as he tried to think. "They were monsters."

Monsters? That sounded as plausible as a unicorn stabbing me. But I decided to indulge him, remembering that he was only a kid. "Really? What kind of monsters?"

"I don't know. They were really big. And had one eye. It was really scary." Sebastian shivered and huddled into himself.

I leaned down and placed a comforting arm around his shoulder. "It's okay." I murmured, "Those monsters aren't here anymore. Besides, I'll protect you."

Sebastian looked up at me with owlish eyes. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Pinky promise." I held out my pinky to him and he wrapped his around it.

"You know," He said, "I think you're my sister. My mommy says I have a lot of siblings, just with different mommies."

Wow. His dad must have been one promiscuous fucker—literally and figuratively—to have so many kids that even the women knew about it.

I knew for a fact that I was an only child with a dad that left me to my own devices, so I was definitely not his sister. But hey, who was I to deny the kid?

"Yeah, I think so too." I smiled at him, and he gave me a blinding grin in return; sweeter than candy and brighter than the sun.

I was about to say something when the person in front of us suddenly stopped walking, and I stumbled into him/her, cursing loudly as I rubbed my sore nose.

And then promptly stopped short at the sight of the entrance.

"Oh dear lord Jesus." I breathed, staring at the dog.

It was a large, slobbering dog. With three heads.

"Um, someone want to explain exactly what that is?" I asked no one in particular.

"That's Cerberus." Sebastian piped up, "He guards the Underworld. The old lady told me about him."

Hm. So I was in the Underworld. With a huge ass dog guarding the entrance.

"Oh, God. Do we have to get through him?" I swallowed heavily and tried not to feel nauseous as I looked at the dog's giant, sharp teeth that looked like it could tear me in half with one bite.

Okay, you know what? Fuck this. I'd come too far to let a dog stop me.

I let go of Sebastian's hand and stomped forward, looking Cerberus straight in the eye. "You gonna let us in or what?" I demanded, matching its glower eye for eye. My heart was beating rapidly and so loudly that Cerberus could probably hear it, but I didn't care. I had to be strong if I was going to get through the shit that life—and apparently the afterlife—was throwing at me.

My bluff somehow worked, because Cerberus just sniffed haughtily at me—could dogs even do that?—and lowered his head, indicating that we could pass.

At my side, Sebastian let out a tiny laugh. "You know Cerberus doesn't attack any of the dead, right?"

I stared. "Goddamn it."

We walked through the gates and were met with a large pavilion, where I assumed we'd be judged. I would be lying if I wasn't nervous. Honestly, I was kind of scared. What if they decided to send me to hell for killing that spider in third grade? Or accidentally stepping on an ant hill in fifth grade? I really didn't need punishment for that—the ant bites had been more than enough.

I gulped and waited for the people in front of me to be judged. The first few people were sent through the Fields of Asphodel, but the guy right after that was sent to the Fields of Punishment.

That did not sound or look pleasant. I was pretty sure I just saw a naked guy on fire running away from creepy dogs (what was it with this place and scary dogs?) pass by.

Panic thumped with each heartbeat and I could feel my palms getting sweaty as the line got shorter and shorter. So far, no one had been sorted into Elysium.

What if I got sent to the Fields of Punishment? I wasn't exactly the best person—I got into fights all the time, had done drugs for a while, and barely passed all my classes.

And I'd done other things; things I'd never told anyone about. Things that were secret, things I was too ashamed to admit I'd done.

My life was about to be spread open and picked at by complete strangers. Everything I'd done and said would become known to others. I was scared, plain and simple.

I'd brought home a stray cat once. Maybe that'd cancel out my bad deeds?

…I could hope, right?

I probably didn't have enough good deeds to cancel out my bad ones.

"Sebastian Williams." A guy with a powdered wig called, and I flashed Sebastian a thumbs up as he clambered onto the pavilion to face the judges.

They all stared at him for a bit before talking.

"Let's just send him to Asphodel." One guy said, who looked Greek and distinctly pretentious in a very grating way.

"Shut up, Minos!" Said the guy with the powdered wig. "He's just a child. I say Elysium. He died a hero's death anyway."

The third guy nodded solemnly. "This is the short and the long of it." He sounded vaguely poetic and when Minos called him "Shakespeare" and told him that he was a crazy drunkard that had no idea what he was talking about, it made a lot more sense.

"I vote Elysium." Stated the powdered wig guy firmly, "The boy deserves a good afterlife and he will have all the freedom he can get there."

"You're a weak-hearted fool, Jefferson. It's Asphodel for sure." Snapped Minos, "And maybe even better would be the Fields of Punishment."

"No one wants to hear your opinion, Minos." Glared Jefferson. (Thomas Jefferson? My head was exploding here.)

"To thine own self be true. Elysium it is." Shakespeare waved his hand and Sebastian started to float towards Elysium.

I stared after him and Sebastian looked back, giving me a wave and an encouraging smile before turning and facing his new home.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward. It was finally my turn. Would I be condemned or would I be taken to Asphodel?

"Kate Platten." They all stared at me, and I knew that they were seeing my whole life unravel before their eyes. I shifted uncomfortably before forcing myself to stand still and push away my fear.

"So. A troublemaker, aren't you?" Minos peered at me. "I like Fields of Punishment for you."

My heart stopped in my chest and I tried to take deep, even breaths. I really, really didn't want to go there.

"Oh, don't listen to that simpleton." Jefferson told me, "You've done some bad things, but you're a good person at heart. It just isn't expressed that well. You know, you remind me of Hamilton. He was—"

"Here we go again." Groaned Minos, sinking down in his chair.

Jefferson flashed him a nasty glare before turning to me. "I'm thinking Asphodel." At my hopeful look, he added, "And there's always reincarnation."

"I—I'm not that good of a person though." My legs and arms trembled and I felt crushingly ashamed.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Shakespeare said seriously, but I had a feeling he was just messing around with random lines from his plays because he was bored. But it still lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders.

"Willy's right." Jefferson nodded, "And don't forget what caused your death in the first place."

A barrage of memories flooded my mind and I winced.

The earth was shaking, everything around me vibrating and falling apart; trembling so violently that houses crumbled to the ground, cars flipping onto their sides.

Everything fell to pieces around me.

It was only seventeen seconds, but it was agonizingly long, like all earthquakes were.

I remembered the stinging of my knee as I lumbered onto my feet, the painful jolt that went through my arm as I pushed some of the wreckage off of me.

I remembered the piercing screaming of a young child.

I remembered lifting the rock as high as I could as he crawled out, only to collapse with exhaustion and look up just in time to see another piece falling on top of me.

And I remembered death.

"You saved him." Jefferson interrupted my flashback softly and waved a hand. "And so Elysium it is."

The strange sensation of wanting to cry yet not having the energy to cry swept through me, and as I floated away, Shakespeare winked at me. "They say a man can die but once. Perhaps it's not as true as they'd like to think."

All I could feel was confusion and I gave him a skeptical look as I passed by.

"Remember!" He called after me, "Nothing will come of nothing."

Why did everyone have to be so goddamn cryptic in the afterlife?

I approached the Fields of Asphodel, only to see that there were a few people leaving the fields. Curiosity got the better of me and I followed them, not wanting to start standing in a field for the rest of my existence yet.

They floated past a majority of the Underworld—or at least what I assumed to be a majority because it was taking a long time—even passing a huge marble palace that hauntingly beautiful.

Finally, they landed at the bank of a strange river. Its waters seemed deep and deceptively calm, and it just felt off. There was something wrong with it.

And my intuition proved true as a few of the souls stepped into the water and seemed to lose clarity of the world around them, their eyes become wide and unfocused as they floated out of the water and onto the bank on the opposite side before disappearing in a wisp of smoke.

It was all quite terrifying, but it seemed that there was more to explore on the other side of the bank.

But I felt like there was something pushing me along, telling me to go into the water. And that just made the whole situation a lot more shady, and I was not about to follow that feeling.

Maybe if I didn't touch the water, I wouldn't disappear. After all, as Shakespeare said, nothing comes of nothing.

As soon as the person in front of me stepped into the water, I launched myself onto her shoulders and latched on in an awkward piggyback-like position.

"What the—" The woman tried to throw me off but the farther she got in the river, the less she struggled. Eventually, she was so unaware that she seemed to completely forget that she had someone riding on her shoulders.

I hopped off as soon as she reached the opposite side, just as she disappeared.

I let out a whoop of exhilaration at my victory, but before I could get too happy, I disappeared as well.

The course of death never did run smooth.

A/N: So I know that a lot of this seems like a long stretch- (I mean, piggybacking over a river? That's just crazy.) but hey, suspension of disbelief, right? I couldn't come up with a better scenario, so here it is. Also, I'm going to factor in the fact that the Underworld's security and organization is shit, because after a few centuries, you're gonna get tired of the same old thing. Hades isn't exactly doing his job every time he runs off to see Maria di Angelo.

(I have no idea how Jefferson and Shakespeare spoke, and I'm one hundred percent sure it was not the way I portrayed them in this fic as, because that was more for comic relief than anything. Also, Minos is a jerk. I don't know how he didn't lose his job yet. And Charon. But Charon is kinda a lovable asshole. Sometimes.)

Anyway, I'm not sure how this will go yet but I have a lot of love for the di Angelos so that's pretty much why I'm writing this.

Thanks for reading and let me know if you have any comments or suggestions!