Past: Darkness

Lucy was sitting in her room. She had the blinds pulled down and all the lights turned off. It was early in the morning and she could hear people downstairs. She didn't know who was in her house, but she guessed it was Gemma, some of the girls and maybe even Jax. It had been almost four weeks since her mother's death and she had barely left her room during that time. Her father was still missing. No one knew where he was. She had called every person they knew and she was sure Clay and Jax had broken the law a few times to find out where he was, but they had come back empty handed every single night.
Her mother had been buried a few days after her sudden death, she had tried to stop them from arranging the funeral because her father still wasn't home, but her grandmother who had flown in from Florida had insisted on burying her mother right away. Her grandmother had tried to convince her to come live with her in Fort Lauderdale, but she had told her "no" many times. She had called the school and told them that she wouldn't be attending. She had explained her situation but they had made sure she understood that this was a one-time offer. She would have to apply next year again, just like everybody else. Who knew if she would get the scholarship then?
She closed her eyes and breathed in and out deeply. She had cried a lot the last couple of weeks and she was sick of feeling so empty.
She could hear someone walking up the stairs. She didn't move when someone knocked softly on her closed bedroom door.
"Baby?" Jax entered slowly and walked towards her. She had always loved the sound his leather made when he moved but now it was making her stomach turn. He lay down next to her and pulled her close. She let him.
"I think you should come downstairs and eat something," he whispered in her ear. She didn't move.
Jax waited for her to say something, when she didn't reply, he continued: "My mother baked cinnamon rolls. I know they're your favorites."
Lucy kept silent and starred at the picture on her nightstand. It had been taken almost a year ago at her mother's birthday. It showed her sitting on Jax lap. Her arms wrapped lightly around his shoulders, his hands casually holding her thighs. They were both smiling happily into the camera. Lucy was sure she could never be so careless again. The innocence was gone. She had realized what it meant to be affiliated with the members of an outlaw biker club. SAMCRO had been her part of her life since the beginning and now it had taken everything from her.
"Did you find him?"
She was shocked how raspy her voice sounded.
Jax didn't answer and she knew that this meant 'no'.
"Oh god, where is he?" Lucy choked: "What if he does something stupid?"
Jax didn't say anything and Lucy knew that he was considering the same thing. She wanted her mother's death to be avenged, but a stupid single-handedly act by a broken man could result in a tragedy.
"Please come down and eat something," Jax begged. Lucy closed her eyes and ignored him. She wasn't hungry.
Jax lay with her for a while, before he got up and left the room. Lucy knew he couldn't bear seeing her suffer like this, but she didn't care. For once she didn't care a damn thing about Jax Teller and the Sons of Anarchy.

Lucy was woken by Jax later that day. It was already dark outside and she could hear a large group of people talking downstairs.
"What happened? Did you find him?" Lucy questioned but Jax face was expressionless. She sat up and looked at him expectantly.
"You need to come downstairs," he said and pulled her into a standing position.
Lucy reluctantly followed him downstairs, but she really wanted to know what happened. The moment she saw the others, she knew something bad had happened.
Gemma stepped into view and hugged her tightly. She guided Lucy to the living room couch and tried to pull her down, but she pushed her away.
"Someone needs to tell me what is going on," she looked at each one of the men, standing around her. Bobby, Tig, Piney and of course Clay. Men she had known all her life. They all looked at her with that same empty expression she had seen on Jax before.
"Sit down Lucy," Gemma said. She didn't move. She wanted to shake them all until someone told her what the hell was going on.
"Tell me," she screamed, and everyone around her winced.
Clay opened his mouth, but Jax interrupted him: "I should tell her."
Jax stepped forward and took both of her hands into his.
"We found your dad," he said.
"Where is he? That's good news, isn't it?"
Jax shook his head: "No baby, I'm sorry, it's not."
"What do you mean?" She choked: "What are you talking about?"
"Baby, we found your dad, because Unser called. He has been taken into custody, no bail. He's being charged with arson and" Jax sighed: "first degree murder."
Lucy starred at Jax in shock. She couldn't move.
What the hell was he talking about?
"What are you talking about?" She repeated.
Jax' tried to pull her close, but she didn't let him. She pushed him away and when he tried to get a hold of her again she slapped him across the face.
Gemma jumped up, but Lucy stopped her movement: "Don't touch me!"
The hatred in her voice made Gemma lower her arms and stare at Jax in distress.
"How could this happen?" She whispered, then more loudly: "How could this happen?"
When no one said anything she pushed past them, opened the front door and turned around.
"Get out," she said. Still no one moved.
She looked at each person standing in front of her, she was so angry with them.
"I said: Get out!" She screamed. Slowly they started moving. Clay wanted to say something, but she cut him off: "Don't say anything Clay. Just leave."
"All of you. Get out of my house," and then with a dead look on her face: "You too Jackson. GET OUT!"