Past: Six weeks later

Six weeks after the wedding Lucy had broken up with Charlie, lost her job at the Diner and was a month behind on rent. Her desperation was growing from day to day and she had even thought about asking her grandmother for money, but she didn't want to show any weakness.
Now she was sitting in her car on her way to TM, with a plan to ask Gemma for help. She didn't want to take anybody's money, but maybe Gemma needed help with at the garage.
It wasn't even nine yet, when Lucy parked her car in the TM lot next to Gemma's Cadillac. She killed the engine, before getting out and walking towards the office. She waved at Bobby and Chibs, who were working in the Garage. Both smiled at her and waved back. She hadn't been here in over half a year and she had really missed this place. The office door stood open and Gemma smiled when she looked up.
"Hi baby."
"Hey Gem," Lucy sat down on the checkered sofa.
"Are you looking for Jax?" Gemma asked innocently.
Lucy pulled up an eyebrow and snorted: "We haven't talked in weeks."
"I'm sorry, darling," she crossed her legs: "So you're here to talk to me?"
"Yes," Lucy nodded: "I need a job."
"What about the Diner?"
"Charlie fired me."
"You broke up with him?" Gemma asked.
"Yeah," Lucy nodded.
"I understand," Gemma said, she pulled a cigarette from the pack lying on her desk and lit it.
"Jax might not like it," she said after taking a long drag.
"I know," Lucy looked at the floor: "I'm good with numbers. I can do invoices."
Gemma nodded: "I really wanna help you baby, but I have to talk to Jax first."
"No," Lucy shook her head: "Let me. I've been looking for a good reason to talk to him. It's been six weeks since the wedding."
"What are you going to do?" Gemma said and Lucy knew she wasn't referring to asking Jax if it was okay for her to work at TM.
"Make him understand how much I still love him," tears slowly filled her eyes: "I miss him so damn much."
Gemma sat down next to her and pulled her close: "Oh, I know sweetheart."
Lucy wiped away the tears and straightened herself: "He has to take me back. I can't do this any longer. I need him back in my life."
Gemma smiled: "He loves you. It took him one day to get over Wendy. She was just a rebound. Everyone knows that."
"I hope so," Lucy smiled back.
"You go talk to him. If he's okay with it, you can start Monday."
"I will. Thanks….for everything," she leaned forward kissed Gemma on the cheek, then left the office and strolled back towards her car. She hadn't spoken to Jackson since the wedding. After Wendy had left she had watched him for a while and finally gathered up the courage to speak to him. It had been a rather short exchange. She had asked him to dance and he had denied, while downing his fifth vodka shot. She didn't like thinking about that moment. He had looked at her like she was some kind of poison. She sighed. Somehow, she had poisoned his life. She had shoved him out of her life like he had been responsible for what had happened. She tried to push the thoughts away and focus on the task ahead. She needed to talk to him about Gemma's job offer and about his feelings for her. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she had to show him how sorry she was for everything she had said and done. If he needed her to beg on her hands and knees for forgiveness, she would do that. Hell, she'd do absolutely anything to win him back.
She got into her car and left TM towards her new destination – the Teller-Morrow home.

Lucy tried to ignore her nervously beating heart as she knocked on the door to Jackson's home. She knew he was home alone, since his Harley was the only one parked in front of the garage. She waited for an answer but when nobody called or answered the door she slowly pushed it open. Of course it wasn't locked, no one would be stupid enough to break in.
"Hello?" She called and entered into the all too familiar kitchen. She had spent hours in this kitchen, cooking with her mother, Luann and Gemma. She thought about the last time she and Jax had been intimate, it had been the day her mother was killed. She exhaled deeply and walked through the kitchen and dining room towards Jackson's room.
"Jax?" She called again, but the house stayed quiet.
"Jackson?" Lucy pushed open his bedroom door. She could hear the shower running in the bathroom. So that's why he hadn't answered. She looked around and sighed when she saw his gun lying on the nightstand, at least he couldn't shoot her on sight. She looked around his room and her heartbeat quickened once she saw a picture of herself standing on his desk. She smiled. She had placed it there, it had been her present to his 18th birthday. He hadn't taken it down or thrown it out. That had to mean something, right?
She dropped her purse on the bed and placed her leather jacket next to it. She was wearing black jeans, biker boots and a white tank-top. In the car, she had freed her hair from the scrunchy she had used to tame it this morning, because she knew Jackson liked it better falling freely onto her shoulders. She heard him turn off the water and rummage in the bathroom.
"Jackson," she called again.
She heard something break. "Shit," he cursed.
He pulled open the door and looked at her with wide open eyes. He wasn't wearing anything but a blue towel wrapped around his hips. In the mirror behind him she saw a large tattoo covering his back.
"Oh my god," she exclaimed. She walked towards him and peaked over his shoulders.
He didn't move, so she took him by his arms and turned him around.
"Oh my god. It's perfect." His backside was covered by a large reaper, framed above by the words "Sons of Anarchy" and below by the word "California". She had always loved his back, now it looked even better.
"What are you doing here?" He had found his voice again.
"I wanted to talk to you," she said and watched him pull a pair of white boxers out of his drawer. She tried looking away as he dropped the towel and stepped into them, but his perfect behind made it impossible for her not to stare. He put on a white shirt and dark blue baggy jeans. His cut was hanging over a chair. She could see his shoulder holster beneath. When they had been dating, he had rarely been armed, but now that he was a full member of the club she understood the need.
"What about?" He asked and took a seat on his bed.
"I lost my job at the Diner." She sat down next to him, but left space between them, because she was scared that he would move away from her.
"Sorry to hear," Jax said but she knew him well. He didn't really mean that.
"I broke up with Charlie. That's why he fired me," she explained.
Jax tried to hide his delight but he couldn't. The way the corners of his mouth twitched and his eyes brightened, she knew exactly what he was thinking.
"I'm sorry about the things I said the other day at the cemetery."
Jax looked at her: "Did you mean them?"
"Not really."
"What about the things you said about your mom?"
Lucy shrugged: "Sometimes I get mad at her for leaving me behind."
He nodded but remained silent. Lucy didn't know what to say next so she just starred at her feet.
After a while Jackson got up and leaned against the desk opposite her. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed: "Why are you here?"
Lucy looked up: "I asked Gemma for a job at TM. She said I can start Monday, if it's ok with you"
"I don't mind," he said.
Lucy smiled at him: "Thanks. I'm really broke."
Jax pulled his cut and holster from the chair and put both on.
"That's not all I wanted to talk to you about," Lucy got up. She didn't want to be sitting while he was standing: "I did mean what I said about you. I wanna be with you. I want you back."
Jax exhaled deeply: "I don't know what to say."
"Say you want me back, too." She knew how desperate she sounded but she didn't care.
"I know what you went through was horrible. I felt your pain, I still do. But you pushed me out of your life like I was just a dirty T-Shirt you can replace."
Lucy's eyes filled with tears: "I'm so sorry!"
"I know you are. But I can't just forget what happened," he looked beaten.
Lucy tried to hold back her tears but they started falling anyways.
"I can't do this," Jackson walked out of his bedroom and through the dining room into the kitchen. Lucy followed while putting on her jacket; and saw him drink milk right out of the carton. He placed it back in the fridge and leaned against the counter, arms crossed and jaw clenched tight.
"You can't do what?"
"Us. I can't do us," he barked and Lucy jumped at his sudden outburst.
"I'm sorry," she lowered her head in defeat and motioned for the door: "I better go."
Jax nodded, still looking like he was about to strangle her.
"See you Monday," Lucy mumbled and hurried out of the Teller-Morrow home and towards her car. Once she sat down in the driver seat she broke down. She was sobbing uncontrollably until she reached her apartment. She was embarrassed by what had just happened, the way Jax yelled at her left her hopeless for them to ever have a future together.

On Monday Lucy arrived early at the garage. She wanted to show Gemma how serious she was about the job. She parked her car and walked towards the office. After her fight with Jackson it had taken her the rest of the week to get back on her feet. Still, she felt excited about seeing him today. She saw his bike standing next to the clubhouse all by itself and she wondered why he was here when no other member was. She strolled towards the office but it was still locked. Lucy shrugged and walked into the clubhouse. Gemma was standing in the kitchen, making coffee.
"Hey," Lucy greeted her. Gemma jumped, then turned around.
"Oh Lucy. You're early," she said hastily.
"I saw Jax' bike outside," Lucy pointed towards the lot.
Gemma's eyes darted towards the hallway then she shrugged: "He probably crashed in the apartment. They had a late one yesterday" The way she spoke faster than usually made Lucy suspicious.
She frowned: "What are you not telling me?"
Gemma crossed her arms: "Nothing."
Lucy thought about her last words for a second, then turned on the spot and rushed towards the small apartment.
"Lucy!" Gemma called but was ignored. Lucy knocked at the door, but pushed it open without waiting for an answer. Jackson was lying in bed, his naked body was covered only by the arms and legs of a skinny brunette, Lucy had never seen before. He opened his eyes and looked hazily at her. Still sleep drunk, he seemed confused for a moment.
Lucy launched forward, pulled the skinny brunette off him by the hair and pushed her against the closed bathroom door. The girl screamed and covered her face with her hands only seconds before Lucy's fist would have broken her nose.
"Shit," Jax got out of bed and pulled her off the kicking and screaming girl.
"You crazy bitch," The girl screamed while trying to avoid Lucy's kicks and punches.
"You stupid whore," Lucy yelled.
"Stop it," Jax barked and shook her. His arms were tightly wrapped around her stomach but she still attacked the screaming girl with her feet. She elbowed Jax in the side and he let go of her.
"How could you do that?" Lucy cried facing him angrily: "You knew I was gonna be here today!"
"Who the hell do you think you are?" He barked. Lucy starred at him through tear hazed eyed.
"You better go," He said towards the skinny brunette and helped her up. The girl was shooting venomous looks at Lucy as she grabbed her clothes from the floor. Lucy dropped onto the bed and started sobbing.
"What the hell happened?" Gemma's voice filled the room and Lucy shrugged.
"Crazy bitch attacked her," Jax told her and pointed from Lucy to the brunette. Lucy was still crying uncontrollably on the bed.
"What the hell Lucy?" Gemma exclaimed but Lucy didn't react. The girl pushed past Gemma and ran down the hall cursing explicitly.
"Can you check on her? I'll handle Lucy."
"You sure?" Gemma asked worriedly.
"Absolutely."
Gemma left hesitantly and Jax pulled on a pair of boxers before sitting down next to Lucy.
"I'm sorry," Lucy sobbed but tried to calm down.
"You really think I did that on purpose?" Jax was still angry, she could hear it in his voice.
Lucy shrugged: "You seemed to really hate me last week. I get why you would want to hurt me."
Jax shook his head: "I don't want to hurt you. I was just drunk yesterday and didn't even think about today. That it was your first day and all… I forgot." His voice grew less angry with every word.
Lucy slowly calmed down and wiped away her tears: "Now I feel really stupid."
Jax chuckled: "I can't believe you punched her."
Lucy buried her face in her hands: "I'm so sorry. That was wrong."
"You've always been kind of aggressive and impulsive. I'm just glad you didn't break her nose." Jax lay his arm around her shoulder.
"Oh god." She was so embarrassed.
"Listen, just because I can't be with you right now, doesn't mean I don't still care about you. I do. I'd never do anything to hurt you," he explained his arm still wrapped securely around her shoulder.
Lucy nodded: "I miss you and it hurts me to know you're with other girls."
Jax nodded but didn't say anything.
"I should go." Lucy got up and walked towards the door. Jax watched her leave. He hadn't forgotten that it was her first day. He knew she would catch him with the girl. He wanted to make her jealous but he felt kinda bad about her hurting the chick, he hadn't anticipated that. The way Lucy had reacted showed him how much she still loved him. Jax pulled a cigarette out of his pack lying on the nightstand, lit it ad lay back on the bed. As he took a long drag he smiled.

So? What do you think about Jax and his little game? Does Lucy deserve it? Or is he going a bit to far? Should he just take her back? I'm looking forward to your thoughts!