Yugioh Abridged Title reference.
Somewhere out of nowhere.
Hidan and Kakuzu had been walking for a good 3 miles since the departure of the base "Kakuzu we've been walking or way too long, I'm so ready to rampage now."
"Hidan, we're supposed to be finding this guy." Kakuzu takes out his bingo book from the briefcase containing his bounty money, the book contained all the bounties in the land of fire, one was Asuma Sarutobi a grand total of 35 million. They were looking for a rogue ninja since Konoha has been taken over by Danzo.
"Wait a minute we got a bunch of other bounties this week already." Hidan says.
"Yeah so?" Kakuzu says back.
"Another one is against that guy's bounty rules isn't it?"
"Screw the Rules I have money."
"Plus I paid the guy extra to take more bounties this week." Kakuzu adds on.
"Ugh you and your money."
"Well that's the benefit of being obscenely rich, now do you see the profit of money?" The moneymaker asks the religious man.
Hidan scoffs and holds up his Jashin pendant to his mouth "No Lord Jashin will give me all the wealth I need if I sacrifice things to him."
"Not ritual talk again..." Kakuzu had enough of this religious talk because it was the same on every single bounty hunt they had.
Hidan was feeling like killing now though he always does "If you keep up this talk I'm thinking you're the next sacrifice."
The 2 immortal ninja look at each other for some time with mad stares and dirty looks and finally continue to walk.
XXXXXX
Approximately later in some other disclosed location in some crossroads in the forest. Asuma and his team, Shikamaru, Ino and Choji patrol the area looking for more resources. When they jump around they come around the corner and Asuma looks and then pushes his team back quickly with 1 arm making Ino fall.
"Asuma-sensei, what was that?" Ino asks.
"I just saw them." Asuma responds looking back to see Hidan and Kakuzu both there and still on their bounty hunt and walking towards them, if they were captured it was over for sure.
"Ugh, okay now's our chance to kill 2 of the Akatsuki now." Asuma says taking out his wind chakra blade that becomes small to big energy.
Asuma describes the plan "Shikamaru, I want you to capture that guy with the scythe with your shadow jutsu, at that moment then me and Choji will go in for kill, after we'll capture the other and question him, Ino standby if any of us get injured."
"Understand?" Asuma says for his team's agreement.
"Yes sensei." Shikamaru replies.
"We're ready." Ino adds on.
"Bring it on." Choji finishes the thought.
Hidan and Kakuzu almost reach the corner and stop to talk.
"Ah man still nothing Kakuzu." Hidan says.
Hidan suggests "Maybe we're going the wrong way."
"There is no wrong way idiot, were on a hunt, he should be somewhere around here." Kakuzu replies to his so called idiot partner.
'Their on a hunt but for who?' Shikamaru thinks hoping not to attract attention.
Shikamaru does his shadow jutsu hand sign and his shadow turns black and a dark shadow goes towards Hidan's.
"Kakuzu!" Hidan yells.
Kakuzu turns around the sees the shadow, he jumps high and avoids the shadow, Hidan does the same.
"Nice try." Shikamaru's shadow jutsu just moves fast and captures Hidan's shadow even though Hidan was in the air.
Hidan and Kakuzu land and Asuma and Choji come out in surprise surprising the 2 Akuzura members.
"Now Choji!" Asuma says to his student.
"Right, Expansion Jutsu, Human Boulder!" Choji's body becomes big and then spins into a large rolling boulder and heads towards Hidan.
Asuma jumps and readies his wind chakra blade, also ready to hit Hidan from the air.
"Ugh, what the?!" Hidan yells as he finds that he can't move, his shadow was connected to Shikamaru's that restrained him from moving.
In an instant Hidan was run over by the rolling Choji and as Choji deactivates his jutsu, Hidan is in the ground covered in dust.
"NOW!" Asuma comes down with his blade and stabs Hidan right in the chest blood comes out of his puncture and from Hidan's mouth.
Asuma smirks as he thinks his plan worked, although he is shocked at Hidan who's eyes are still open and he simply says. "Who are you people?"
"What the?" "Ah!" Shikamaru, Choji, Ino and Asuma all gasp at Hidan though his chest was burst and he was bleeding so much, yet still alive.
"That hurts, get out." Hidan says in the calm matter he does unlike his killing or insulting self.
'But How I hit his vital spots?" Asuma asks himself.
"What the is he immortal?" Shikamaru asks.
"Isn't that obvious fools?" Hidan says.
"Immortality, what a drag if I had rules that would be against them."
"I will speak for my partner when I say this, Screw the Rules I have money." Kakuzu adds.
"I hate these guys." Shikamaru says about both of the immortal duo.
"Now then." Hidan swings his scythe at Asuma who was on his chest.
Asuma rips out his chakra blade and jumps away barely missing the deadly scythe slash.
"The cash cow we've been looking for." Kakuzu says looking at Asuma.
"So how would you like to die?" Hidan asks the 4 leaf shinobi.
"Get them!" Hidan says and in an instant Hidan's scythe swings at Asuma. Asuma jumps and dodges it, Kakuzu though jumps too and smacks Asuma right in the face with his briefcase all the money in it made it heavy.
"Ah, urghhhh." Asuma hits the ground with the pounding and flips 3 times like a log and struggled to regain balance.
"Sensei!" Ino goes over to Asuma's side to do her medical jutsu on him.
"Why you!" Choji expands his hand and it becomes enormous and hard.
Choji charges at Hidan, but Kakuzu lands and stepping on Choji's back made him get crushed into the ground like a boulder falling from a cliff.
Kakuzu always liked to analyze his opponents and determine their bounty to see if he could get any profit his defeats "Too weak, they're not worth anything."
"Kakuzu leave the other 3 to me, you take that cash cow or whatever you call him." Hidan says wiping blood from his mouth and sharpening his scythe for battle.
"Very well." Kakuzu jumps over to Asuma."
"No you don't!" Shikamaru lunges at Kakuzu with his kunai ready.
Just as Shikamaru hits Kakuzu the kunai stops right at Kakuzu's skin it was hard as a mountain's side.
"Nice try." Kakuzu clenches and several string fly out of his body and send Shikamaru flying back with a massive push on Shikamaru's body.
"Grr, Asuma." Shikamaru says while getting up and Kakuzu goes closer to Asuma.
"My turn!" Hidan's scythe comes down on Shikamaru and landed dead on, but Shikamaru was a substitution so the only thing Hidan slashed was a log. "What!, you brat!" Hidan rages as he tears the log in half with another slash of his scythe smashing the log on a tree.
"Now Choji!" Shikamaru says to his partner and Choji comes down on Hidan directly with a human boulder attack.
"Let's go again!" Choji says as his human boulder crushes Hidan and bounces back up for another crush this repeated for about 5 times.
"I won't let you cross!" Ino blocks Kakuzu from going any further.
Kakuzu's tentacles grab Ino by her limbs neck restraining her in the air. "AH, ugh!" Ino says struggling for air.
"Lightning Style, Bolt Fury." From Kakuzu's lightning mask it comes out of his body and blasts a massive electrical attack sending Ino flying into a bush nearby.
Kakuzu turns around towards Asuma who had gotten back up, and was in a defensive stance with his chakra blade.
"Fire Style Searing Migraine." Kakuzu's mask comes out of his back and burns Asuma to point of ashes emitted from his body. Asuma holds his 2 blades in a shield to try and block it, but the flames were big like a forest fire "AHHHH!"
"Sensei!" Ino yells getting out of the bush, she was paralyzed from the lightning attack Kakuzu did.
Hidan was buried into the ground and couldn't move with only his head and scythe over the ground.
"Hey, get me out!" Hidan struggles, but couldn't move from the ground.
"You'll pay for this!" Hidan yells, but no one payed attention.
"Now's our chance." Shikamaru says seeing that Hidan was disarmed.
Shikamaru's shadow jutsu head's directly at Kakuzu who was right in front of Asuma ready to finish him.
Kakuzu's fist stopped at the last minute, Kakuzu clenched as Shikamaru had him under shadow strangle, he pushed further but the shadows wouldn't let go.
"Damn it." Kakuzu says while he struggles to move.
"Now Choji, this other guy mind be immortal but this guy isn't!"
Choji turns his fist into a giant fist and goes right at Kakuzu punching him right in the back and sending him into a tree.
Kakuzu gets up struggling from the impact. "So you want it that way?"
Kakuzu sends massive amounts of tentacles at the 4 leaf shinobi, his tentacles grabbed Shikamaru, Choji and Ino by the neck and restrained them in mid air.
"Now Hidan take care of the cash cow." Kakuzu demands his partner.
"Ugh, fine." Hidan bursts out of the ground and jumps towards Asuma his scythe ready to slash.
"Now some pain." Hidan chuckles at this one.
Hidan slashes a little bit, not much by a little enough to cause Asuma to bleed slightly.
'What's he doing?' Shikamaru was able to see despite the suffocation.
Hidan licks the scythe right on Asuma's blood and then draws the Jashin symbol on the ground with his own blood using his feet all around himself.
"Now it's time."
"Must you do this way?" Kakuzu asks his partner who wanted his sacrifice.
"Come on Kakuzu this is the best." Hidan argues.
"It's also the slowest and least effective." Kakuzu mentions back.
Hidan's body turns skeletal his bones turned white and his skin black.
Hidan takes out a short black spear and extends it so that it was the length of a sword.
"Now in the name of Lord Jashin, feel pain." Hidan stabs himself with his spear right in the left leg.
'He stabbed himself?' Shikamaru asks himself.
'That's crazy.' Ino thinks.
'But why?' Choji asks.
Suddenly Asuma who had gotten up falls and blood spills from his left leg the same place Hidan struck.
"HAHAHAHA!" Hidan laughs like a maniac.
"So how do you like it, the pain." Hidan asks.
'Asuma got wounded too, so that guy he must have the ability to link his body to others, any pain he does to his body is done to his victim too, the only thing is he's immortal.' Shikamaru says analyzing Hidan.
Shikamaru tries to and barely manages to put his hands together for his jutsu.
"Shadow, ugh... Strangler, ugh... Jutsu..." Shikamaru throws a shadow at Kakuzu.
"Oh no." Kakuzu retracts his tentacles in order to jump and avoid the shadow attack.
Shikamaru, Ino and Choji are all released from the restrain.
Shikamaru figured a plan now. "Ino, Choji can you keep that other one busy, I've got Mr. Immortal."
Ino and Choji nod.
With this the shadow of Shikamaru's attack wasn't for Kakuzu it kept going and caught Hidan.
"Now I will make the final kill." Hidan holds his spear to his heart, ready to attack.
"Heh." Hidan smirks, Asuma gasps.
Hidan stops at the last minute. "What the?!" Hidan struggles to move his body, but he can't as the shadow makes him unable to move.
"Got him." Shikamaru turns his head and sees Kakuzu landed right to the left of Hidan.
"Now!" Shikamaru swings his left hand with all his might to the left of him, it really did nothing except.
"What the?!" Hidan does the same only he was holding his scythe "what?" Kakuzu gasps at the sudden partner's attack.
Kakuzu makes a single hand sign and in an instant it wasn't Kakuzu that was slashed up.
Hidan's scythe immediately brakes into 3 separate pieces.
Hidan's eyes turn big and he looks at his broken weapon. "AHHHHH, JASHIN!" 'Lord Jashin forgive me.'
"You will pay for that!" Hidan yells at Shikamaru.
"It's not my problem, it's only a drag for you." Shikamaru says back, Shikamaru still had Hidan on shadow strangler jutsu so he couldn't move.
"Grrr, Kakuzu undo this jutsu!" Hidan demands.
"I will do this my way." Kakuzu charges at Shikamaru.
"Human Boulder!" Choji drops down right on Kakuzu with Human Boulder.
"Kakuzu!" Hidan yells in concern for his partner.
"That hurt." Kakuzu says as he was flattened by Choji.
"Now!" Shikamaru turns around and so does Hidan, Shikamaru throws with his right arm like he was throwing a javelin. Hidan does the same and throws his spear at Kakuzu. Kakuzu only turns around at the last minute and throws a punch smashing the spear into pieces.
"My spear!" Hidan yells at his spear and scythe now destroyed.
'Good now both his weapons are gone, he's useless now.' Shikamaru thinks to himself.
'Now to finish him, he might be immortal, but he still is vulnerable to concussions.'
Shikamaru moves about 5 steps back so that Hidan is up against a tree.
"What's he, oh no." Hidan says in question before realizing.
'It's over.' Shikamaru throws his head right back sending Hidan tumbling right into the tree shaking it and making some apples fall.
Hidan falls in concussion.
"You idiot, I guess I should leave, but I don't like leaving cash cows." Kakuzu says to himself.
"Ugh, I guess I have to save my partner." Kakuzu jumps to Hidan's side and picks him up with his left hand and jumps to Asuma.
"Cash cows can't be allowed to go." Kakuzu smashes Asuma in the back with his foot.
"UGH!" Asuma spits blood.
Kakuzu picks Asuma up with his tentacles.
"Asuma-sensei!" Ino, Choji and Shikamaru run to their sensei.
"Fools." Kakuzu looks over and 2 masks from his back emerge.
"Earth Grudge Fear." 2 blasts 1 fire and 1 water fire at Ino, Choji and Shikamaru both blasting the ground below them sending them all flying back onto the ground.
"Pleasure doing business." Kakuzu holding Hidan and Asuma vanish into puffs of smoke.
"SENSEI!" Ino yells.
"Grr..."
XXXXXX
Kakuzu walks with Hidan in his left hand and Asuma in his right hand. "Now I'm more obscenely rich."