Live and Learn

Chapter 9

Riku sighed for the umpteenth time since Roxas had fallen asleep, curled against his side. The boy had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and Riku and Sora found themselves finishing it by themselves.

Sora giggled at something that was happening in the movie. Riku, on the other hand, couldn't bring himself to concentrate on the movie at all, and the reason to his restlessness was sitting beside him, with only Roxas between them.

Roxas had been keeping them busy the whole day, and Riku really hadn't had time to get lost in his thoughts, but now that he didn't have anything to distract him, his mind started to wonder.

He had tried not to think about what had happened on the date with Sora, but he couldn't get it out of his head.

Sora smiled at Riku as he let the music guide his movements. The brunette looked dazzling as the flashing lights swiped over his petite form.

What disturbed Riku the most was that he wasn't disgusted. Hell, he had been flirting with Sora unabashedly the whole of last night and he hadn't even been hiding it. He'd flirted more than he did with women – he'd usually just glance at them and let them come to him. And Sora was no woman. Sora was his son's very male teacher.

The worst thing was that Sora hadn't just ignored his flirtations. No, he had flirted right back at him!

Sora's eyes were smoldering and darkened with something Riku quite couldn't identify – and he wasn't sure if he dared to try – but he couldn't bring himself to look away either. Riku let his hand brush against Sora's side and the man shivered, throwing his head back and letting out an animalistic sound that made Riku's body tremble.

It had to be the alcohol. Riku would blame it on the alcohol, even though he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that it was something else. Something he couldn't, didn't want to, wasn't ready to admit. He was straight, for God's sake. Had always been. for over two decades! Why would Sora be so special that he'd turn him to the dark side?

But Riku really couldn't deny the chills that had run down his back, the fire inside him that night. Riku had liked it.

Riku watched as Sora lifted his hands up above his head, his shirt riding up, exposing his bellybutton to Riku's eyes. Sora twirled, making Riku dizzy, and the silverette reached out his hands to grab the man's shoulders. Riku pulled the brunette's back against his chest and slid his hands down his arms, until the fingers of each hand were interlocked with Sora's. Then, surprising himself just as much as the smaller man in front of him, he grinded his hips against Sora's behind. Sora brought their joined hands up to place them against his abdomen and grinded back.

When they had left the dance floor, hand in hand and sweaty, Riku had been half hard. They had held hands the rest of the evening as they sat, drank and talked in hushed voices. They had shared a cab in comfortable silence, Sora being the first to be dropped off. Riku's hand had felt cold when Sora's hand finally left it as the man stepped out of the car, kissing his cheek as he bid him good night.

Riku wasn't sure if it had really been him last night. Maybe someone or something had possessed him?

"That was a pretty good movie, wasn't it?" Riku heard Sora's voice drift into his ears.

"Huh?" He asked intelligently. Sora frowned.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "You've been sighing and frowning for a while now."

"Yeah, I'm fine", Riku said, and even he himself thought he didn't sound very convincing.

Sora stood, waking Roxas gently.

"Just relax, I'll take him to bed. You look tired", Sora said, smiling, and leading a half-asleep Roxas upstairs and leaving Riku to his thoughts.

Sora was sweet and nice. Riku could admit he was pretty cute for a guy. But was Riku really attracted to him? Or was he just curious since Sora was gay an Riku had never really been friends with a gay guy before? Maybe he wanted to experiment and his mind somehow turned it into a feeling of attraction?

Sora was the first person – excluding Kairi – that Riku could call a friend in years. For a long time, he hadn't confided in anybody about things that were bothering him. His mind might just be mixing the unfamiliar feeling of friendship with the fact that Sora was gay, and blending it into a false attraction.

"Hey, you sure you're feeling okay?" Sora asked as he returned, flopping down onto the couch and leaning over to place his hand on Riku's forehead, testing for fever.

"I'm okay", Riku sighed, gently removing Sora's warm, soft hand from his forehead, but didn't immediately let go of it.

"Wait", Sora said quietly. "Is it last night? Is it me? I… I can leave if you want me to – "

"Yes, it's…but don't leave. I like being with you", Riku admitted.

The hell. He might as well start being honest. What did he have to lose?

"Me too", Sora smiled, making Riku's heart flutter a bit.

But even after all these speculations, what if Riku was, plain and simple, truly attracted to the man currently watching him?

Would he be brave enough to act on it?

Would he want to?

"Do you want to talk?" Sora asked. His thumb caressed he skin on the back of Riku's palm, and that's when the silverette noticed he was still holding Sora's hand.

"I'm not sure. I don't know where to start", Riku sighed, briefly closing his eyes. He turned sideways, leaning his elbow against the back of the couch so he could look at Sora, who was sitting cross-legged. "You start."

"Well, I'm not gonna lie", Sora said, taking Riku's hand between his palms and bringing it to his lips. He gently kissed Riku's knuckles, and the silverette's fingers twitched. "I like you. Despite my rule of never going for a straight man again, somewhere between seeing you struggle so hard with taking care of Roxas and getting to know the hardworking, sincere, kindhearted man under all that assholiness, I found myself infatuated with you."

Riku chuckled, but otherwise kept silent for a while.

"'Again'?" He asked. Sora looked confused. "'Never going for a straight man again'?"

"Mm. I dated a straight guy once."

"What happened?"

"One day he told me he was getting married, that he couldn't be with a man after all", Sora said, laughing bitterly. "He was older than me. I was young, foolish and in love."

"And you…" Riku started. He cleared his throat. "And you realize that if something was to ever happen, you know, between us, that could happen again?"

"That's why I couldn't sleep last night. I was up all night, thinking about it. I decided that if you decided to ignore what happened yesterday, I wouldn't say anything. But you've been looking at me today almost as much as I've been looking at you."

"I'm so confused", Riku sighed, covering his eyes with his hand.

"If… If you're willing to try this, we can go real slowly", Sora whispered, lifting Riku's hand to his cheek and leaning against it.

"What if it doesn't work? If I realize this – whatever this is – is just curiosity or, or I just can't do it? You're willing to put your heart on the line?"

"…Yes. I'll take that chance." Sora smiled. It was a small, sad but hopeful smile. "Because I have a feeling that if it does work, it would be better than anything I could imagine."

Riku closed his eyes, sighing shakily. This was all so new, all so fast. There was something inside him saying he should just go with it, but the fear of hurting Sora kept him back. Could he be so selfish?

But what if it did work? If Sora was a girl, Riku would surely have fallen for her. Did gender really matter to him?

Should he find out?

"Okay."

The smile that spread on Sora's lips exposed a row of perfect, white teeth. Sora looked beautiful.

Sora got up onto his knees, carefully supporting his hand on Riku's thigh as he leaned forward.

Sora pressed a soft peck on Riku's cheek.

"Was that okay?" Sora asked. Riku nodded slowly.

"And…this…" Sora was even more careful as he leaned forward this time, as if handling a frightened animal that would bolt at the first sign of danger. Though, that was probably a pretty accurate comparison.

Sora rested his lips briefly on the corner of Riku's mouth.

"Was that – " he started.

"That was okay", Riku quickly said, surprising himself on how much he wanted those soft, warm lips on his.

"Is this okay?"

Riku almost didn't hear the question, when suddenly his lips were attached to Sora's. Riku flinched, but didn't pull away. He slowly lifted his hands to Sora's shoulders, bringing him closer. This encouraged Sora to bring his arms around Riku's neck and he molded his lips more firmly against the silverette's.

After a bit more hesitation and careful movements, Sora ended up on Riku's lap, straddling his thighs as Riku's tongue came out to lick Sora's lips. Sora's mouth parted, letting Riku explore the hot cavern.

Riku placed his hands on Sora's waist. It wasn't the same as kissing a woman. Instead of submission, Riku was faced with a battle. He couldn't feel breasts, but a flat chest against his. He couldn't feel soft flesh, but firm muscle and bones under his fingertips.

And it didn't feel bad at all.

"Riku?" Sora whispered as he slowly pulled back, his eyes searching Riku's face for something. "You okay?"

"I'm okay", Riku smiled.

A/N: Reviews keep my heart beating and fingers typing :)