Warnings and disclaimer in Chapter 1. Enjoy.
"So what exactly are we looking for Giles?" Willow asked as she and Tara skimmed through the spell books. They were pulling double duty. Researching and ready to throw out any magical assistance that was required. "Is it like what I did with Glory?"
"No," Giles said as he skimmed the books on the shelves, pulling any he thought might be relevant. "That was more of a mental reconfiguration. We certainly don't want to change or alter Buffy's mind in any way."
"Right," Xander added, "we just want to go into her mind and ask her a few questions where hopefully she'll be able to answer back."
"Essentially," Giles told them, bringing back the first round of books. The Scoobies each grabbed a book while the Watchers looked stunned.
"Really?" Xander looked extraordinarily pleased with himself. "I got one right. Go me."
"What did Mrs. Adell mean by a fate worse than death?" Tara asked. Giles looked back to where they were sitting. Veronica shrugged.
"A Slayer is a very magical being," he told them. "They have certain defenses against magical attacks."
"But spells have worked on Buffy before," Willow said. Giles nodded.
"On Buffy yes. But I am talking about the essence of the Slayer. It will make more sense if you think of them as two separate entities right now."
"What kind of defenses?" Xander asked, his hand shaking slightly as he lifted his book.
"A nifty defense that flips any attack around on the attacker," Anya told them. "Demons were always cautioned about it. The tale goes like this. There was a sorcerer about two thousand years ago that gained a lot of power, enough power that he could literally live forever and never want for anything, but the only thing he ever wanted was more power. He learned about a Slayer and tried to drain her. And I do mean tried. She ended up taking all his power without even lifting a finger."
"But she obviously died sometime or we wouldn't all be here," Willow countered.
"She still had the physical limitations of a girl," Giles told them. "She would have died from old age if nothing else."
"Even with all that power?" Willow protested.
"The essence of The Slayer had all that power. When the girl died, The Slayer moved on, bringing all that power to the next Chosen and so on throughout the ages." Giles finally collected all the remaining books he thought relevant and joined them at the table. "When we enter Buffy's mind I doubt it will be Buffy herself that we need to get passed, but The Slayer. If we don't convince her that we are peaceful and want to help, she will destroy us."
"How exactly will she do that?" Xander asked again.
"I'm not sure," he told them, "but The Slayer will probably view the incursion as an attack on her mind and we will probably lose ours as the result."
"That is what happened the few times the Council has tried it," Gregory threw out helpfully. Giles glared at him. "And I'm going to see if Joyce needs any help with Buffy." He quickly left the room under Giles's glare.
"Are you going to help or just watch?" Giles asked his family. Veronica sighed and moved toward the table, stopping a few steps later when she realized their father wasn't moving.
"Father?" she asked hesitantly.
"Go on," he told her. "As Faith's Watcher I suspect you will need to do research quite frequently." He looked over to Rupert. "But I am too old for this. I think I would rather watch how this new group does things." Giles looked at him suspiciously before turning to the group.
"To defeat Adam we joined together as one," he said, mainly for the benefit of the Watchers since everyone else was nodding their heads. "Willow was able to successfully enter the minds of Tara and Xander to help defeat Glory." Again the Scoobies nodded. "What we need to do is combine those spells somehow."
"Two very different spells intended to do two very different things," Willow added.
"Which must blend together seamlessly and be completely non-threatening," Giles added.
"How did you enter my mind?" Tara asked as she leafed through the book she was researching.
"Astral projection," Willow told her, "but I had an anchor. I don't think we'll be able to maintain an anchor in Buffy's mind."
"Doubtful," Giles told them. "We'll need to be completely self-reliant in what could be an extremely hostile environment without appearing to be threatening in any way." He sat down heavily at the table and pulled a book towards him. "We've got a lot of work to do."
Several hours later Giles pushed back the book he had just finished and stretched his arms. Billy looked up at him from his swing and he couldn't resist picking up the baby. The twins had woken up hungry an hour ago and Anya, always trying to find any excuse to get out of research, had quickly rushed out to get them. She and Xander had fed, burped, and changed the kids before rejoining the research party. Anya kept a hold of Alex while Billy was passed around the table before finding his way back into his swing. "I'm going to make some tea," he said softly when he noticed Alex asleep in Anya's arms. "Would anyone else like some?" Hands went up all around the table. Giles nodded and quietly left the room, taking Billy with him. He quickly filled the teapot and put it to boil. At the same time, he put in fresh grounds in the coffee maker and turned it on. With nothing more to do right now but wait he quietly made his way to the living room.
The movie was long over, the TV screen shining brightly with nothing to show. He smiled when he saw the sleeping women on the couch. "Joyce," he whispered, sitting down on the coffee table and gently reaching out to touch her knee. She wearily opened her eyes, unable to stop a yawn from escaping.
"Sorry," she said, smiling at the sight of him holding the baby. "How's it going?"
"We're getting there," he replied. "We had to invent our own spell, but we did it. Willow and Tara are just trying to tweak it to make it as safe as possible."
"It's dangerous?" she asked, frowning slightly. He shrugged.
"Not for Buffy," he told her quietly. "Chances are she'll be completely oblivious."
"Rupert," she interrupted. "I don't mean just for Buffy." He looked down, shifting the baby to his other arm, before answering.
"There's a possibility we could lose our minds if something goes wrong," he reluctantly told her. She automatically tried to sit up before remembering the sleeping women holding her down.
"I don't want any of you in danger," she told him. "I worry about everyone, not just Buffy. Dawn, Willow, Xander," she began listing off names. "You."
"Me?" he looked up and caught her eyes.
"Yes," she admitted, "I care what happens to you." She sighed. "Things have been different since New York," she told him quietly. "Strained. It seems like we're avoiding each other."
"We've spent more time together in the last few weeks than in the last year," he reminded her.
"Yes, but that's always been about Buffy. Or the twins. Or Dawn. It's never been about us. We haven't really had time to talk."
"Is there an us?" he countered. She smiled.
"There used to be." She paused to get her thoughts in order. "Xander called you the patriarch of our family, and I realized he was absolutely right. Our family has never been normal, but you've always been there for everyone, including me. And now it seems like there's this huge thing between us, and I don't like it."
"There is a huge thing between us," he reminded her. "But I'm not sure what to do with it."
"Me neither," she told him. "It will take time, for both of us, but I don't want to lose you over this."
"You won't," he assured her. "No matter what happens I will always be here for you, for Buffy and Dawn, for the twins, for everybody. It's just," he paused uncertainly. "Right now I'm not sure how I should be acting around you. And I need time to figure all this out."
"Nice, crisis free time," Joyce added. She was feeling the same way.
"Yes," he said softly. "I'll get there. Once everything calms down and I can think about this again I'll get there." Glancing down he saw the boy had finally fallen asleep again. Joyce followed his gaze, smiling softly. "We should put them all to bed," he said. She nodded, shaking Dawn gently.
"Dawn? Honey?" Dawn mumbled something under her breath but eventually opened her eyes.
"Bedtime?" she yawned. Joyce nodded.
"Could you take Billy while Rupert and I take care of Buffy?" Dawn nodded, getting to her feet and reaching out for the little boy. She quickly carried him up the stairs, returning for Alex after a few minutes. Meanwhile, Giles gently scooped the Slayer into his arms and carried her into their hospital room. They began her nightly routine, watched carefully by Gregory. Giles started, gently stretching out and working all of her muscles. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but the movement woke the young woman and she watched him curiously. "I'll just go get her some pajamas," Joyce said, leaving the room and heading upstairs. She looked into the nursery and saw Dawn watching the sleeping children and smiled. She headed into Buffy's room, awestruck by the changes Xander was able to make in the short time he had. She quickly grabbed some sleepwear, wondered briefly who went shopping on Buffy's behalf, and rejoined Giles, who was just finishing up her stretches.
"Excellent Mr. Giles," Gregory praised. Joyce threw the clothes onto the side table and began her work with her daughter.
"I'll go get the wheelchair so it will be ready for tomorrow," Giles offered. Joyce stopped the sponge bath and looked at Gregory.
"About the chair," she started, turning back to her daughter, who was once again staring intently at her. "It's so big and bulky. Isn't there any way to get a wheelchair that fits her better?" He smiled.
"A custom fitted chair is already on its way," he told her as Giles returned with the borrowed one from the hospital. "It will be smaller for her petite frame and much more comfortable than hospital chair. Plus, it will be fully customizable when you figure out what she needs and what works best."
"How much will this cost?" she asked as she turned back to her daughter. She had just finished paying of the medical bills from her own near death experience. And while they had once again become self-sufficient and didn't need to rely on the Council to fund them, they still were on a tight budget. She had already gotten a bill from the hospital in New York, who were helpfully not charging her for her daughter's whole stay. Just thinking about it made her angry. She realized her hands were shaking, which caused Buffy to react to her distress. Giles stepped up to help, grabbing Buffy's hand and bringing her attention to him. Joyce took a deep, calming breath and continued.
"The Council will cover everything," Gregory told her, realizing now how worried she was. "Including Mercy General."
"Thank you," she said honestly. She felt a great weight lift off her shoulders. She was just about to continue when there was a quiet knock on the open door. They all turned to see Tara watching them compassionately.
"I'm sorry to interrupt," she told them, "but Willow thinks she's worked out the spell and needs Giles to check over her work." Giles nodded and stood up to go, but Buffy wouldn't relax her grip. He tried to gently remover her hand for several minutes before sighing in frustration.
"Buffy," Joyce called out. "Honey. Let Giles go. He won't be gone long." She tried getting through to her daughter, but Buffy only gripped tighter. She sighed, looking at Giles. "I guess I could trade places with you?" she suggested.
"Then you wouldn't be able to finish her nightly routine," he said, glancing at Gregory.
"I'll help if you absolutely need me to," he told them lightly, "but once I'm gone you'll have to figure these things out. If you can't then you really aren't ready to care for her."
"Let me try," Tara said, heading toward the other side of the bed from where Giles was. She grabbed her other hand, squeezing until the girl looked at her. "It's okay," she said, reaching up and stroking her hair soothingly. Surprisingly this worked. Buffy focused on Tara which allowed her mother to carefully pull back Buffy's fingers until Giles was free.
"I'll be quick," he said as he got to his feet.
"No," Joyce countered. "Take however much time you need to do it right. I don't want anyone in any more danger than necessary." He nodded and left the room. She looked up to the blonde witch. "Are you alright Tara?"
"Yeah," she said, her eyes never leaving Buffy's. Buffy was calming down under her influence. "Go ahead and finish," she said, before stammering. "Unless there's something you don't want me to see."
"I just have to finish the bath then hook up the IV," Joyce told her, starting the sponge bath again, "It's just Anya was the only one who was interested in this part of her care." Tara sighed.
"We were interested," she told her. Joyce raised a challenging eyebrow. "Okay, maybe curious with a big side of embarrassment is the right words. This is really private stuff, so we weren't sure how to act interested without appearing crass." Joyce laughed.
"I guess Anya does have an edge in that department," she told her. She quickly finished and was getting Buffy into her pajamas. The bottom went on easily, but Buffy refused to let go of Tara's hand to get her top on. "I've never seen her act this way," Joyce said as she rounded the bed to help Tara free herself.
"I have," she said, "it's how she acts with you." Between the two of them they managed to break Buffy's grip long enough to get her top on. Buffy immediately reached for a hand, and Tara was surprised when it was hers.
"She must feel safe with you," Joyce said as she hung a new IV, carefully connecting it to the port in her hand. Tara looked at her with scared eyes.
"What do I do?" Joyce smiled reassuringly.
"Try to get her to sleep," she suggested. Tara nodded and tried everything she could think of to get the blonde to rest. Eventually she crawled onto the bed, engulfing the young woman with her arms and singing gently to her. That seemed to do the trick. Joyce smiled as Buffy's eyes drooped, finally staying closed. "I'll just go see how they're doing in the library." Tara nodded. Gregory followed Joyce out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. They reached the library just as Giles put down the spell Willow hastily wrote.
"Will it work?" she asked eagerly. Giles nodded.
"I think it will," he told her. The Scoobies cheered as they all closed their books, Veronica quickly following their lead.
"Great," Xander said. "When do we do this? How much time do we need to set this up?"
"A couple hours," Willow told him. "We can have answers by morning."
"No," Joyce spoke out loud. The group turned to the doorway. Nobody noticed her enter until she spoke up. "We are all exhausted. I won't allow this until everybody gets some sleep." Xander opened his mouth to protest, but a yawn escaped instead. Reluctantly the group admitted she was right.
"I suggest we retire for the night," Giles said.
"What about patrol?" Willow asked. "The demons are still attacking our perimeter."
"Faith and the vampires are more than enough of a match," Giles replied. "And there hasn't been any incursions all night. I think we are secure."
"So we're done for the night?" Anya asked. Giles nodded. Anya squealed. "I'm gonna check the babies. See you upstairs sweetie." She gave Xander a quick kiss before bolting from the room.
"Upstairs?" Veronica asked her brother. "Doesn't everybody have a house?"
"Yes," he told her, "but we also have an annoying habit of not using them in times of crisis." He began picking up books and re-shelving them. The others chipped in and soon the only books on the table were the ones they would be using later.
"I guess I'll go drag Anya away from the kids. Night." Xander waved as he left the room. Willow followed his lead.
"I better go find Tara," she said as she waved goodnight. She found her girlfriend in the little hospital room. She smiled as she quietly opened the door. Tara looked up at the sound. "I leave you alone for one minute and find you in bed with another woman," Willow joked as she approached the bed. Tara smiled and held up their entwined hands.
"She has a tight grip even when she's sleeping," Tara said. Willow nodded, running her hands through her girlfriend's hair.
"I wonder why she reached for you?" Willow said thoughtfully. Tara looked back at her, shocked and slightly hurt and Willow quickly clarified. "Not that there's anything wrong with that it's just she's never sought comfort from anyone but her mother and why wouldn't she look for it with me or Xander since she's known us longer and were her best friends and now I'm babbling and you're supposed to stop me." Tara smiled when Willow finally ran out of breath.
"I still like it when you babble," she said. "But I have been wondering about that too and I have a theory."
"You're channeling Giles," Willow said, pulling up a chair. "So hit me with your theory."
"I think she's still feeling some after affects from getting Spike's blood in her wound." Willow nodded. They could all see Buffy was still feeling sick. "I think she subconsciously realized it was a supernatural illness and embraced a supernatural comfort."
"That makes sense," Willow said. Tara was definitely the most mothering of all the Scoobies. Only Joyce, who was a mother, was more caring. Add in her magical power and she was very much a supernatural safety blanket. One that Buffy wasn't letting go of soon apparently. "I guess I could let you go for one night."
"Or we could share," Tara said, patting the other side of the bed with the arm she wrapped around their friend.
"Is there enough room?" Willow asked. "What if we squish her? What if this makes her uncomfortable? What if she's not ready for this kind of intimate situation?"
"Honey," Tara interrupted her. "You're babbling." Willow smiled.
"That's what you're supposed to do. Stop the babble." She looked at her friend once more, the smile disappearing from her face.
"What's wrong Willow? I know you missed her, even more than I did."
"I did," she admitted, "and it's hard to see her so vulnerable and weak, especially since we know how she got like this. But that's not why I'm afraid. I look at her, all weak and broken, and I can't stop thinking about you."
"Oh," Tara gasped, shocked at what her girlfriend was saying. Willow waved her hand, trying to make the words make sense.
"When you were brain sucked by Glory. I look at my best friend, who really needs me right now, and all I can think about is you when you were like this and I'm happy because it's her and not you and does that make me a horrible person?"
"No sweetie," she told Willow, reaching out awkwardly with the still entwined hand to wipe a tear away from her girlfriend's eye. "That doesn't make you a horrible person. That makes you human."
"That was just the worst few days of my life," Willow told her, grabbing onto their entwined hands so that Buffy's hand was completely surrounded. "And I feel like it's happening again and I should feel worse, but I don't."
"Come lay down sweetie," Tara said again and this time Willow complied. She took off her shoes and laid down on the other side of the Slayer, being extra careful to not disturb the IV line. "It will be okay. Buffy's getting better every day. And we'll help her with whatever she needs."
"But how can we help her when she doesn't talk to us?" Willow questioned. Tara laughed slightly.
"You know not all communication is with words," she reminded her. "Buffy might not talk but she definitely communicates." Willow smiled at her girlfriend, joining their linked hands again. She shifted closer, her arm going around both women as they cuddled with the Slayer between them. Neither noticed Joyce smiling at them from the doorway.