Live and Learn
Chapter 13
It was a hot day.
Riku observed the people walking past Roxas' school, enjoying the AC of his car. The air conditioning system of his work place had broken down, forcing Riku to spend the hottest hours of the day doing paperwork with nothing but a crappy fan to cool his burning skin.
Everyone on his floor had been shedding pieces of clothes throughout the day, and even Riku had untucked his shirt and popped quite a few buttons open.
At 2 pm, Riku had given up. He'd packed his bag and fled into his cool car, driving around for a while before parking outside of Roxas' school, arriving 10 minutes before the school bell rang.
Riku waited until most of the little people had left the premises, before bravely opening the door and venturing out.
The heat hit him like a wall.
The air was humid and stifling, with no wind to lessen effects of the unbearable heat. Riku's body felt sluggish as he lifted his hands to tie his hair in a messy ponytail, feeling beads of sweat roll down the back of his neck; it was days like this when he hated his long hair.
Riku left his bag in the car, but made sure to grab his wallet, keys and phone. Slouching, he dragged his feet into the school premises and up the stairs of the main entrance, not even having enough energy to lift his legs properly.
He narrowly sidestepped two kids running straight at him, squealing loudly. Riku's body was on autopilot as he made his way towards Roxas' classroom.
Riku heard Sora's voice flood the empty hallway even before he reached the classroom.
"Roxas, please get off the floor."
Riku reached the doorway, and his eyes met the sight of Roxas lying on the floor, sprawled on his belly. Sora sat behind his desk with his cheek pressed against the wood.
"But it's so nice and cool," Roxas whined.
Riku's presence wasn't noticed before he nearly flopped onto his back on the floor beside his son. They were quiet for a while.
"Probably all kinda germs crawling all over the floor, all over me…" Riku commented, but made no move to get up. The floor was indeed surprisingly cool, and felt good against his burning skin.
Silence.
"Hi dad," Roxas mumbled, lulled into a half-asleep-like state.
"…hey," Riku murmured, lazily ruffling his son's spiky hair to make up for not having the energy to greet him properly.
After a few minutes, Riku heard a clang and a shuffle. Cracking his eyes open a bit – he had no memory of when he closed them –, he saw a brunette head settle down on the other side of Roxas. Sora smiled slightly at him, letting his fingers gently touch the hand that Riku had left near the top of Roxas' head. Riku let his own fingers reach out, brushing them against Sora's wrist. Sora smiled.
Riku turned his face towards the ceiling, closed his eyes and smiled. It had been so long, since he'd shared these small but meaningful touches with anyone, and he had missed it. Touches that said hello and I'm sorry and it's okay all at once.
Riku didn't know how long they lay there, clinging onto the coolness radiating from the floor as if their life depended in it.
A clearing of a throat roused them from their trance. Zexion stood at the doorway.
"…okay," he said, arching a brow. Sora lazily swatted at him with his hand.
He could've been saying "What is it?" or "Go away". Perhaps he was just swatting at a fly. Zexion took it as permission to enter, and sat down on a seat near Sora's legs.
Zexion glanced at Riku, then at Sora and Riku's hands that had only a few minutes ago been joined, and were still laying close to each other.
"Mr Foxx," Zexion said as a greeting. Riku lifted his hand in a lazy hello, as his throat was too parched to utter a word.
"Can I have a word with you, Sora? Or…is this a bad time?" Zexion asked, glancing at Riku again.
Riku looked away, focusing instead on his son. He rolled onto his side and poked Roxas' cheek and declared him dead to the world. Well, better for him to sleep than suffer the heat.
"Go on," Sora rasped.
"Uh," Zexion said and Riku felt his eyes on him again. "I was wondering if you wanted to go for a cup of coffee tomorrow."
Riku's muscles tensed. He held his breath, making sure to keep as still as possible. He didn't want to screw anything up, not after he had promised during a phone call that morning to trust Sora from now on.
"Sorry, Zexion," Sora said, smiling apologetically. "I have a date tomorrow evening. Rain check on that?"
"O-oh, sure," Zexion said. "I gotta go. Let me know… about the coffee."
Riku waited until he couldn't hear Zexion's footsteps anymore, before he looked at Sora over Roxas' slowly rising chest.
"You have a date tomorrow?" Riku asked.
"Uhhuh," Sora hummed.
They fell into a silence for a few minutes. Riku stretched his legs.
"Hey."
Riku looked at Sora again, fining blue eyes carefully searching his face. Riku lifted his brows in question.
"Are you free tomorrow evening?"
Riku closed his eyes and grinned, letting out a relieved puff of air. He waited a moment before answering.
"Naw", he said. "I have a date."
He heard quiet rustling, but wasn't prepared when Sora leaned over Roxas to kiss him.
- Live and Learn -
Riku carried Roxas into his bedroom and laid him down on the bed.
"Ah, you're getting so heavy, big boy," he murmured to the sleeping boy, tucking him in and pecking his forehead. The boy hadn't woken up since falling asleep in the classroom. Sora had told Riku that Roxas had spent his breaks playing football despite the crippling heat, which is probably why he conked out.
When he closed the door behind him and returned downstairs, he found Sora rummaging the freezer for ice cubes.
Soon he was handed a cold glass of ice tea, and he thanked Sora with a caress to his cheek.
"Hey, Sora," Riku said after a moment of silence. Sora moved his attention from a magazine he was uninterestedly flipping through, fixing his gaze on Riku. Riku didn't miss the way Sora's eyes swept appreciatively, but briefly, over his sweat-soaked, nearly see-through shirt.
Sora's own shirt was fine, but his chocolate brown hair had glued itself to his temples. Riku could see perspiration slowly roll down the length of Sora's tanned neck. As much as Riku hated everything dirty, Sora's current state did nothing to disgust him. On the contrary, Sora's flushed appearance and the way his breath came out in short puffs made Riku wonder if this was how Sora looked in a certain other setting.
Woah, Riku! Talking about things that are dirty…
"Nevermind. I need a shower," Riku murmured, turning around quickly in hopes that Sora failed to notice the evidence of Riku's dirty mind.
- Live and Learn -
Riku stepped under the rain shower head and turned the water until it was cool enough, and not only because he wanted to cool off after the blazing heat outside.
He couldn't believe he was finally at the point of fantasizing about sex with Sora. And the thought had come to him so suddenly, he had scared himself.
Okay, so Riku had established that he did in fact find Sora attractive, despite his gender. He liked kissing him. He liked touching him. He loved spending time with him. He didn't mind the lack of boobs, he just wasn't sure if he'd be able to appreciate certain other parts of the man's anatomy.
Riku already knew for a fact that the brunette could turn him on, as Sora had proved several times when he pleasured Riku with his hands or mouth – usually both. The anal sex couldn't be any different from engaging in the act with a woman, though Riku had never tried it, what with his disgust in all things messy, but Riku had heard it was, well, pleasurable, for both parties, if done right.
It's the fucking dick!
Riku growled. That damn little detail had to ruin it all. Uh, well, not that Riku knew if it was tiny or not… And why was he still thinking about it?
The fact was, Riku just wasn't sure if he could keep it up while staring at another man's penis, or worse, touching another man's penis. But Riku didn't know how much longer Sora was willing to just keep giving and giving without getting anything in return.
If only Sora was a woman. Riku sighed. He could have all the sex he wanted, Roxas would have a woman to possibly call "mom", Riku could marry her, have another child, hold. On. A second.
No. Riku was done. Worrying about these things would only make his head hurt and, apparently, his dick hard. He was so done.
- Live and Learn -
"Did you take a shower too?" Riku asked as he cuddled closer to Sora on the couch. He tugged at Sora's wet spikes, shifting slightly when Sora did, instinctively adjusting his position in a way that allowed Sora to curl up against his side.
"Mhmm," Sora answered, "I used the guest bathroom."
"Should've just joined me."
Riku squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn't meant for that to slip out. Sora looked up at him, his gaze sharp.
"Don't joke about that."
"I'm sorry."
They were silent for a while, Riku running his hand through Sora's hair, combing through it with his fingers.
"Sora, I really like you," Riku said, surprising himself as much as he did Sora, but managing to sound resolute.
Sora was quiet for a while, before chuckling.
"You know, if you want a blowjob, you only need to ask."
"Sora," Riku whined. "I'm serious. I really like you."
Sora pulled away from Riku's embrace, so he could sit up properly and look at him.
"But?" The brunette asked.
"But?" Riku repeated, confused.
"There's a 'but' coming after that, isn't there?" Sora asked, suddenly looking fearful. "A-are we breaking up?"
Riku frowned, turning to sit sideways on the sofa just like Sora, so he could look at the smaller man.
"There's no 'but', I swear," Riku promised, "and why would you think we're breaking up?"
"You're not gay," came the answer, as if it was clear as day.
"You're right, I'm not. But still, I like you," Riku said, smiling, and lifted his hand to caress Sora's chin with his thumb.
"But I can't give you what you want. You won't be satisfied with me just blowing you for too long. You'll get bored. You'll remember how much you like v-vag… how much you like women," Sora said, and Riku nearly chuckled at Sora's reluctance to say "vagina".
"And then you'll… leave me."
Riku scoffed, looking at Sora amusedly.
"Come on, you think all I care about is sex? What do you take me for?" He chuckled.
"Don't," Sora started, his voice rising slightly, and Riku could tell he was actually upset. Sora took a deep breath, calming himself before continuing.
"Don't laugh at me when I'm trying to tell you how I feel," Sora said.
Riku sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Now he felt like an asshole.
"I know, I'm sorry. But, you see," Riku said, taking Sora's hand. He wasn't sure if he did it to reassure Sora, or to reassure himself.
"I'm the one who can't give you what you want," Riku said, averting his eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"Sex."
Sora spluttered.
"I don't want sex!" The brunette cried out.
Riku looked at Sora, lifting a brow, and Sora's cheeks flushed red.
"W-well I'm a healthy male," Sora started explaining defensively, but Riku stopped him with a shake of his head.
"I know you are. And I'm sorry I can't give you anything. I want to, but I just…can't. I find you attractive, I'm just not attracted to the male anatomy. I don't want to make you feel undesirable if we try it and I can't… if it doesn't work out," Riku explained, biting his lip as he waited for Sora's response.
"Riku, I'm quite self-secure and content with myself. Don't take this the wrong way, but there are a few men who I know for a fact find me very desirable." Sora ignored Riku's unhappy and – dare he say – jealous scoff. "I won't be offended or embarrassed if you don't wanna touch my penis."
Sora was smirking now and Riku narrowed his eyes at him.
"If you laugh at me again, I will touch your penis, and not in the good way," he growled, and a lesser man would've cowered in fear. Sora, on the other hand, burst out laughing, which only made Riku scowl more.
Sora got up on his knees and crawled onto Riku's lap, chuckling still. He pulled the silverette into a hug, massaging his scalp in a way that made Riku moan in appreciation.
"It amazes me how you still haven't realized how crazy I am about you. Do you think I'm masochistic enough to make a habit out of dating straight men?" Sora pressed a kiss against Riku's temple.
"I love cock, Riku," Sora said, making Riku arch his brow; he rarely heard the teacher use vulgar words. "I love having it in my hands, in my mouth, in me. And I'll have yours. But not until you're ready."
Riku groaned miserably when he felt a certain part of him – fucking traitor – take an interest in what Sora was saying, and buried his face against Sora's collarbone.
"You bastard," Riku mumbled. "You are so unfair."
Riku fell sideways onto the sofa, laying down on it and pulling Sora with him.
"I know. You wouldn't fancy me any other way," said Sora cheekily, nestled against Riku's chest.
A/N: I don't think it's possible to properly express how sincerely sorry I am for taking so long, so I won't even try.
If any of my old readers are still there, I love you.
New readers - I love you too.
My corner of utter shame is calling for me, so I must not make it wait any longer.
Love,
Lumeton