I'M SO SORRY FOR THE SUPER-LATE UPDATE! My little sister messed around with the computer and somehow locked the keyboard. We tried everything to unlock it ourselves, but all attempts were futile, cause we just fucked it up more. So now took it to the dude who repairs shit, and he worked his sweet magic, so HERE I AM! I promise I'll update faster!
To make up for all the wait, I made this chapter longer than the others! Please enjoy~!
YAOI=MAN-ON-MAN ACTION=SWEET AND JUICY SEX. IF THIS IS NOT SUITED TO YOUR LIKING, THEN YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND FUCK YOURSE—Err, I mean...ahem, you can go ahead and click the back button :D
WARNINGS: KaZe, AU, smut, a crazy Yuuki.
Chapter 6: Accidental Cupid...
"...so...I-I tried to...you know...m-m-masturbate...before sexual intercourse with my wife, to get...ready, I would...say? But it didn't seem to take effect. I...I just..." The sweating man blushed profusely, looking at anything but the man sitting in front of him at that moment. Sighing in frustration and embarrassment, the middle-aged man stuttered a final, "I-I just couldn't g-g-get it...up..." before going completely silent.
There was no reply from the doctor as he processed the information given to him. He reread the notes he'd written down on the patient's folder, and quickly came to a solution. "Mr. Tanaka, have you ever taken Viagra in the past?" The doctor asked, his voice and attitude remaining professional, despite the awkward topic.
Well, not really awkward for him. Dealing with men's erectile dysfunctions, as well as any other problems with their reproductive system, was his job.
The man, Tanaka, blushed a deeper shade of red and shook his head. "I..I...n-no, I have not. I've never really...uh...needed to. Until now, that is."
The doctor nodded in understanding, knowing how the man felt all too well. Once upon a time, he, too, had no problems having sex with women.
Until he appeared in his life, but that was a different story.
"In that case, I suggest you stop by the pharmacy on your way back and buy a bottle. Take one pill to begin, and if it still doesn't have the desired effects, take two. Make sure you follow the instructions on the back of the bottle, Mr. Tanaka, and do not take more than two pills. Viagra, like every other medicine, for that matter, may produce undesired results if you abuse." Shifting in his seat to get more comfortable, the doctor added, "Leave an appointment with my secretary for next month, and report to me the results of this...'experiment', for lack of better words." He looked up from the patient's papers to meet a very shy and troubled expression on said patient's face. "Sounds good to you, Mr. Tanaka?"
The man nodded timidly. "Y-Yes, sensei." He stood from his chair and rigidly bowed to the doctor. "T-Thank you for your help, sensei."
A ghost of a smile crossed the doctor's face as he nodded. "It's my job, Mr. Tanaka. Have a good day."
"You, too, sir."
The door to his office closed, and the doctor allowed himself to let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back into his comfy chair.
Thank God that was my last patient for today, he thought grimly. His eyes briefly scanned the surroundings of his office, inspecting every corner of the modernly decorated room — plain, creamy white, walls, hardwood floor, cherry wood furniture, marble countertops, stainless steel drawers and archives — and briefly stopping on the name plate sitting atop his desk. There, carved in gold, cursive, letters, the name Kaname Kuran reflected the neon lights with an almost violent gleam.
Wine-colored eyes then swiftly glanced at the stuffed animal sitting atop a book shelf by the door, where a stuffed animal sat, body sagging slightly. It was a rabbit with abnormally long and droopy ears that Yuuki had given to him a few years back for his birthday. Needless to say, he'd been embarrassed to receive such a childish gift, but he hadn't had the heart to just throw it away. Truth be told, Kaname actually liked it.
What he didn't like was that the stuffed animal's silvery fur and amethyst eyes, and the purple ribbon tied around its neck in a neat bow. Many times he thought of throwing the toy away, but he could never bring himself to get rid of it. Not only it would break Yuuki's heart, but those violet eyes would always stare him down in defiance, as if saying, "Come and try".
The useless stuffed animal reminded Kaname so much of him. Even after four years, Kaname Kuran still couldn't get Zero Kiryu out of his mind. That silky and soft, silver, hair, eyes the color of raw amethysts, moonlight-kissed skin...
He would forever remember the mental image he'd used to replace Ruka all those years ago. He'd forever remember the defiance and anger prortayed in those eyes when they kissed for the first time.
A nostalgic sigh left Kaname's parted lips, and he sank lower in his leather chair. He wondered what Zero was up to. Was he sleeping? Perhaps studying? Did he even live in Tokyo, or Japan?
A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, and the brunette immediately put his professional mask back on. "Come in," he ordered, making sure to keep his tone calm and void of any emotions.
The door opened, and an overly happy Yuuki bounced — quite literally — inside the room. "Hi, onii-sama!"
Said ma rolled his eyes, but he could feel a small smile tug at the corners of his lips.
Leave it to Yuuki to cheer me up without even trying...
Deft fingers felt hot against his skin, trailing down his body in lingering caresses that left goosebumps in their wake. He could feel a hot breath fan against his sweaty skin, followed suit by a pair of soft lips kissing and vibrating with a low hum. A wet tongue lapped at his abs, trailing lower and lower until it reached his defined hipbone. His body jerked slightly when a set of dull teeth bit down, and his hands clutched tightly at the white blankets beneath him when the hot mouth traveled even lower, down, closer...
...and promptly stopped, a sound of disappointment resounding in his ears.
Zero growled in frustration and covered his eyes with his right arm. He was limp. He had a hot chick straddling his lap, touching him in ways that should be illegal, and he was limp.
The girl on top of him — he didn't even know her name — had a frown on her pretty face. Her upper lip was curled up in a small snarl, as if disgusted, and her arms were crossed over her bra-clad chest, brown eyes glaring down at him.
"Seriously, dude?" she questioned, and Zero almost cringed at how high-pitched and nasal her voice sounded.
"I'm...I'm sorry, I really am." He had no idea what else to say in such a situation, so he opted for simply apologizing. What could he tell her, anyway? He had no excuse for not being hard when he should be. He had no reason to not feel aroused.
But he wasn't. He was completely limp, and his body wasn't reacting at all to her sensual touches. It was as if Zero's body didn't know what arousal was, so it didn't react to it like it should.
And it wasn't the first time it happened, either.
Ever since that day, Zero had stopped interacting with pretty much everyone around him. He only talked to his twin brother and a couple other selected people. At some point, he even hated homos (except for his brother) and men in general, and he wouldn't try to hit on women unless they were the one to make the first move — which was extremely rare, considering he scared everyone off with his nasty glare and harsh attitude.
It was at around the age of twenty that the silverette chose to try to start dating again — it took quite a lot of pressure from Ichiru to convince him to partake in a goukon. The first few relationships ended fairly quickly, with Zero either being the dumper or the dumped. The fifth girlfriend was an obnoxiously jealous one who would call him a pervert if he as much as tried to hold hands with her, so he ended up breaking it off with her — as a result, she stalked him for a couple weeks, until he got a restraining order on her.
Partner Number Five was a whole different story. She pressured him into having sex the night of their second date, barely a week after they met, and though he had complained at first, he eventually agreed — because, fuck it, why the hell not? Things, however, did not go as planned. His girlfriend had tried all the tricks she knew on him, and he'd fantasized about the sexiest things a man could think of, but none of that managed to get him erect.
As Zero dated a few more girls after that, and ended up with the same result every time they tried getting down and dirty, he came to the sad conclusion that he was impotent.
He really didn't know what he was expecting when he agreed to fuck the stranger sitting atop him at the moment — he served her a few drinks at Rouge only a couple hours ago,and she'd asked him to spend the night with her.
"I'm sorry," he apologized again, "but you could just...get...off?"
She did, with a huff, slapped him hard across the face, called him some pretty colorful names, and stormed out of the hotel room without as much as a second glance back at him.
Zero felt like shit. He couldn't have sex. He couldn't have sex with a woman. How was he supposed to reproduce and have kids? What about grandchildren, nieces, and nephews? How will he have a loving wife offering herself to him — the typical "will you have dinner first, or me~?" — if he couldn't have sex?
He blamed a certain brunette for his impotency. He totally blamed it on him and that damned kiss he was forced upon back in high school.
I need a drink, Zero thought once he calmed down enough to sit up and put his clothes back on. He turned his head towards the giant window at his left and got lost in the thousands of lights of Shibuya. Where the hell is Yuuki when you need her to cheer you up?
The next morning found Zero Kiryuu passed out on the couch, a can of beer laid forgotten on the floor with its contents spilling and staining the carpet, and a trail of drool sliding down the side of his open mouth. When Ichiru walked into the living room and heard no snoring, he feared his dear brother had accidentally killed himself.
That thought, however, was quickly discarded when Zero turned over on his back and cussed out loud when his head accidentally feel down too hard on the arm rest.
"Good morning, sunshine! The sun is here to say 'hello'!" exclaimed Ichiru, walking over the windows and yanking the curtains open.
The older Kiryuu immediately cringed at the excruciating amount of sunlight hitting his eyes, and he groaned in pain when his twin's loud voice boomed inside his ears. "God, Ichiru, do you have to be so loud so early in the morning?" His head was pounding and hurting, and his heart beat sounded like a jack hammer in his brain. His vision swam for a few moments, and he almost thought he'd empty the contents of his stomach at any second, so he asked his twin to bring him a glass of cold water and two painkillers.
When the younger male returned with said items, he sat down on the couch next to his sibling and waited for him to swallow the pills before speaking. "It's almost noon, brother, and maybe you wouldn't hurt so much if you weren't so hungover. So, what happened that made you want to brutally drown your liver with alcohol?"
Zero leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. "It's a long story," he said, which, in the ancient Kiryuu Language, meant, "I don't wanna talk about it."
In that case, Ichiru reasoned, I'll just have to guess. Because he simply couldn't just ignore the matter and mind his own business — what kind of younger sibling would he be, otherwise? "Trouble down south?"
And of course he'd guess at the first try.
Zero glared at him and snapped a croaky, "None of your business, Ichiru."
"So I'm right. Who was the unfortunate victim this time?"
"'Unfortunate victim'? I'm the 'unfortunate victim', here," the older twin complained. He was glad to feel his headache start to alleviate thanks to the painkillers. "And it was a girl I met at work yesterday night. She asked me to spend the night with her, and I agreed..."
Ichiru nodded in understanding. He wasn't about to judge his brother for that, He, himself, had slept around with strangers in the past, but that was before he met Kain. "Okay," he slowly, calmly, said. "And..."
Zero sighed. "'And' nothing. Nothing happened; like usual," he added in a bitter voice. "She got on top of me and started working her magic, but to no avail."
"So...you didn't..."
The older silverette shook his head. "I couldn't get it up—again."
An awkward silence followed after that as Ichiru processed the information. It wasn't anything new, considering Zero had told him of his problem since the very beginning, but he still didn't know how to approach the matter.
Finally, an idea popped in his mind. "Have you talked to Yuuki-chan about this?" The dear girl was an air-head, but she could probably help by arranging a meeting with—
"Ichiru, why, in all the Seven Circles of Hell, would I tell Yuuki, of all people, about this?"
"Isn't she, like, your best friend? You guys always talk about stuff like this, no?"
Zero raised an eyebrow at his twin. "Please explain what 'stuff like this'—" he air-quoted "—means."
"You know...guys, sex, fashion, and all that?"
"I surely do not talk about that. She, on the other side, doesn't seem to understand that you're the gay one between the two of us, and that I'm not interested in all that."
"Now you're just stereotyping us gays," Ichiru huffed, but his voice and words held no trace of offence what-so-ever, knowing fully well Zero meant none.
A low chuckle rumbled inside Zero's chest as he rolled his eyes. "That's not the point. The point is that Yuuki doesn't know about my...problem." And oh, how it hurt to admit it out loud.
The younger male furrowed his eyebrows. "But...can't she help?"
Zero flashed his twin a look of mixed horror and disgust, "Help me? Are you crazy, Ichiru? There's no way I'd ever ask Yuuki to...to...ugh!"
Ichiru's eyes widened in shock once he understood what his brother was implying, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. "God, no, Zero! That's just gross! Why would you ever think I'd even imply that?!"
"Well, you're the one who said she could help."
"I meant medical help!"
"But Yuuki isn't a doctor..." Zero murmured, confused beyond belief. What was his brother trying to say, exactly?
"No, but her br—" Ichiru suddenly stopped, the words dying in his throat once he saw the look of utter confusion on his brother's face. "Wait...you don't know?"
Zero's frown deepened. "Know what?"
"That...Yuuki's...well...about him?"
"Who's 'him'?"
Ichiru blinked once, then twice. Zero didn't know about Kaname?
Of course he doesn't, a voice that sounded too much like his own said in the back of his mind. Remember Zero hates that man's guts? If I were you, I wouldn't even mention his name. Just talk to Yuuki...
"Ichiru? What are you talking about?" Zerp inquired when his twin didn't respond.
Said twin slightly shook his head, both to shoo the voice in his head — sounds like I'm going crazy, if I say it like that, he thought — and to answer his brother. "Nothing, don't worry about it. I meant to say that Yuuki is...acquainted to some good doctors that are specialized in this field, so maybe you should ask her to set an appointment for you."
"Doctors...that are specialized in my field...? You mean...urologists?" The name sounded so disgusting coming from his own lips...
Ichiru nodded, a small smile gracing his features. "Yeah. If you're too shy to ask her yourself, I can do it for you."
Zero looked grim, but he nodded anyways. "Yes. Please do. Possibly sometime during this week, too. The faster I get this over with, the faster I'll heal. Right?"
Ichiru would have felt horrible if he crushed the sliver of hope coating his brother's words, so he simply said, "Yes."
The older male nodded once more and stood from the couch. "Well, I'm going to take shower. Mind fixing us some breakfast?"
"Of course! Does eggs and bacon sound good?"
"Sounds very good," Zero replied. "Thanks, Ichiru." He patted his brother's hair twice before walking off towards the bathroom.
Once he heard the door shut and the shower run, Ichiru took out his cellphone and dialed Yuuki's name. After two rings, the girl picked up. "Hey, Yuuki! It's Ichiru."
"Hi, Ichi-kun! What can I do for you?"
"Yeah...about that...um...do you think you could do me a favor?"
Does anyone else misread the book title "Huckleberry Finn" as "Fuckleberry Hinn", or is it just my dyslexia? Because, I swear, it's impossible for me to not read "Fuck Hinn" instead of "Huck Finn".