This should have gone up yesterday but amongst the insanity at work I got a migraine and writing just was not going to happen. So if you didn't see the note on the DeGrassi Saviors website or the new calendar My Boys, My Girl, My Lovers Four (AKA the Best Served Hot sequel) will premier in September.

Ch. 9 I'll Never Do You No Harm

(CLARE)

"Eli what are you doing here?" I question. He's looking down but when he looks up I can tell he's been crying.

"I'm sorry about Thursday, I never meant to scare you Clare. I feel terrible. I didn't mean to yell, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry, so so sorry," Eli bawls. "I didn't mean to Clare, you have to believe me I didn't mean to scare you. I don't know what I was thinking," he continues still crying but talking a little more quickly and he pushes his way past me into the basement. Now he begins pacing as he continues to talk and I close the basement door. "I had an idea, I don't even remember it now but I had to work on it. I needed you and you were trying to leave and I went crazy. I'm sorry, so very sorry that I scared you," Eli says finally taking a breath although he's still pacing.

"It wasn't just that Eli, you wanted to work on a play and you wanted me to star in it. I tried following you to your room to tell you that I don't act and you went ballistic when I tried going in your room. You were more than scary Eli I thought you were going to lock me in your room."

"I'm sorry Clare, really sorry. I thought you were going to leave and you couldn't leave and no one goes into my room not even my parents," Eli tells me. He's not crying any longer but he's talking rapidly and there's a desperation in his voice. "No one's been in my room not since Julia died. She used to stay in my room, sleep there and now she's gone and I'm afraid to lose anything else. Especially you, I can't lose you," Eli begs going down on his knees and taking my hands. "I won't lose you, I can't lose you," he repeats over and over.

The way he talks, the way he's begging you'd think we'd been married for years and I was threatening divorce. In reality I've known him two weeks and we've been on two dates. We're friends but in Eli's mind he seems to think we're so much more. It's both flattering and frightening.

"You won't lose me Eli. I'm your friend and that won't change. And I'm not going to die Eli, I won't run out and get hit by car," I assure him pulling him up by his hands so he's standing again.

"You mean it Clare? I can't lose you, I can't. I love you Clare and I can't lose something else I love."

"Eli you can't love me you barely know me. We've known each other two weeks and been on two dates. We're still getting to know each other you can't possibly lo…"

"But I do Clare," Eli insists cutting me off. He's still holding my hand and he pulls me to him with force, holding tightly to me in a sort of desperation. "I love you. It was love at first sight; don't you believe in love at first sight? Don't you love me?"

I'm just frightened now and no longer flattered by his persistence. I'd like to believe in love at first sight but if it exists it's not something I've ever experienced. Lust at first, like at first sure but love is something that builds over time, at least in my experience. My bond, my inexplicable connection with Fitz is very strong but I'm not even sure I love him and it certainly was not love at first sight. Mostly because I didn't actually see him the first time we met, he was shrouded in his hood.

I don't have an answer, actually I've sort of stopped breathing because I never expected a boy to say that he loves me after two weeks. The fact that he has is rather terrifying really, it seems obsessive and the longer I take to answer Eli back the more his eyes narrow and the angrier he gets.

"Don't you love me Clare?" He asks holding me tighter and his lips grow thin with ire.

"I like you very much Eli, I want to spend time with you, I want to get to know you better but I don't love you Eli. Not ye…"

"Why don't you love me?" Eli growls stepping forward and forcing me against the back of the sofa.

"I haven't had time t…"

"I love you why don't you love me? I love you so much," Eli hisses pressing into me and I fall over the back of the sofa.

"Hey what the hell are you doing?!" Drew snarls rushing over and pulling Eli away. I stand up and Eli glares at the Drew. The boys are staring each other down, each trying to stand tall and be intimidating. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Drew growls.

"She doesn't love me," Eli replies.

"Of course she doesn't love you she's only known you a couple of weeks you lunatic," Drew shoots back clenching his fist and Eli clenches his. I run over getting between the two and pushing them apart before this comes to blows.

"Stop both of you. Eli I think you'd better go," I tell him.

"What's going on?" Adam inquires coming in the door. "Eli what are you doing here?"

"I came to see Clare and apologize for the other day," Eli responds calmly and he seems like he's normal again.

"Which you did and I forgive you. I'll see you at school Monday but you should go home now," I tell him calmly.

"Yeah I should go, see you guys Monday," Eli says waving to Adam and walking out like nothing happened.

"Are you okay?" Drew queries turning to me.

"I'm fine; he didn't really hurt me I just fell over the back of the sofa."

"What did happen? I thought you were going out with Dark Hood tonight," Adam comments.

"Dark Hood?" Drew asks squeezing his eyebrows together and then his face relaxes with realization, "Right mystery guy."

"I did and it was wonderful. He brought me home a little while ago and when there was a knock on the door I thought it was him but it was Eli. Eli was crying, whaling like a child and full of remorse for what happened on Thursday. He kept apologizing and told me he couldn't lose me. Then his sobbing stopped and his remorse slowly became desperation and anger. He told me he loved me and when I couldn't tell him that I love him back he was furious. I tried explaining that I really like him and I need more time to get to know him before I could know that I love him. He wouldn't listen, he stepped forward forcing me over the back of the sofa and that's when Drew came in."

"Eli's nuts you should both stay away from him," Drew comments.

"He's not nuts Drew he's a good guy," Adam refutes.

"Adam's right, he's sweet and smart. I do like him and he can get intense but he's been through something. Something awful and it affected him, things seem to trigger that memory for him it wasn't that long ago and it's still sensitive for him," I explain without betraying Eli's secret.

"Fine but he can be dangerous when this memory of his is triggered and you both need to be careful. Since I doubt any of us will sleep anytime soon why don't we watch some movies," Drew suggests.

"Yeah I'm up for movies," Adam says and I nod.

We watch two movies before we're tired enough to fall asleep. Drew and Adam say goodnight and Drew makes sure the exterior door is locked before they go up to their rooms. I start to get ready for bed when I hear a tapping at the window. This time I know it's Fitz before I even get to the door.

"I would have come earlier when I felt your fear but I saw Drew come home. Are you okay?"

"Yes but I'm glad you're here," I smile pulling him in. "Will you stay? Bianca's not here and Drew and Adam will stay upstairs."

"I've been sleeping more here lately than my own home," Fitz comments.

"I know but I feel better when you're here and after the beautiful night we had the one thing that would make it perfect is falling asleep in your arms," I tell him.

"Is that it or are you afraid Eli will come back?"

"If I tell you I'm afraid of Eli coming back will it convince you to stay?" I question.

"I'll stay, until you're asleep, but you're going to tell me what happened with El," Fitz insists.

I finish getting ready for bed and Fitz sits on the bed. When I'm in bed I lie down and use his chest as a pillow.

"I really did have a wonderful time tonight, the date was magical," I smile fingering the pocket on his hoodie.

"I'll take you on another but right now you need to tell me what Eli did," Fitz reminds me. I repeat the story to him, everything that happened and I feel his chest become tight as I talk. "He's dangerous, I know I told you to be with him but you should stay away from him," Fitz comments when I'm done.

"Now you sound like Drew. Eli can be scary but he needs help and I do still like him. We have a lot in common and…"

"You don't have to hide with him," Fitz finishes for me.

"Yes but I love what we have too. I like you both, in different ways and the same way."

"But you can only really be with one of us. I still think he's dangerous but maybe he just needs time."

"Are you trying to push me away? Push me to Eli again?" I question.

"No I won't ever push you again. Sleep now, it's late and I promised not to leave until you were asleep," Fitz says.

"I wish you could stay," I comment but I'm already half asleep, "or that I could fall asleep in your arms in your bed."

"One day Clare," he tells me softly stroking my hair, "one day soon."

(OWEN)

I arrived at school early Monday morning, because I had some extra research for a project I had due in my business leadership class this morning. I was close to finishing when Clare came in. She says good morning, I say good morning back and she sits at the computer across from me. When I finish and print my project I go to the printer and look at what Clare's doing.

"Why are you looking up the article about the fire at Fitz's place?" I question sitting at the chair next to her.

"Ever since you told me about the fire I haven't stopped thinking about hi…it," she corrects quickly. "I was hoping there would be a picture of him but there's only a picture of the burned house."

"You've asked about a picture of him before, why does it matter so much?" I question.

"It uh…it just…I have this insatiable curiosity, once my mind latches onto something I can't let go of it until my curiosity has been satisfied. I should get to my locker before class; see you on our spare, okay bye."

After her hasty babbling Clare can't seem to leave or get away from me fast enough. I watch her go and twist my mouth, something is definitely up. I grab my stuff and head for class. B's in class and she tells me about her date with Drew on Saturday while we wait for class to begin. When first period ends we walk to auto shop together, Drew's already in class and he's sort of glaring at Eli.

"What did Eli do?" I question.

"Caught him at my place Saturday night and it looked to me like he was attacking Clare, but she said she was okay and just fell over the sofa. He was acting pretty strange and from what Clare told us we missed the strangest part of his behavior. Clare said she was fine and Eli left but there's something off about him," Drew replies.

"Maybe it was just after effects of his concussion," I comment.

"Yeah maybe but what happened Thursday night? I'm telling you he's crazy Clare's better off with mystery guy," Drew remarks.

"Aww listen to you she's only been there a few nights and you already sound all brotherly," Bianca teases.

"It's true okay and when she talks about mystery guy she smiles. When she talks about Eli she smiles half the time and sounds terrified half the time. She couldn't stop gushing about the date mystery guy took her on Saturday night."

Mr. Ehl comes in and class starts; while we're working I start thinking about what Drew said. Clare's seeming obsession with seeing a picture of Fitz, her mystery guy and guardian angel and then I remember the comic panels Adam was drawing. The Dark Hood figure that's Clare's guardian angel and mystery guy and suddenly all the pieces fit into place. It's like my brain's been slowly working on a puzzle and but I've been doing it in the dark and I just opened my eyes.

"Owen are you okay?" Bianca questions breaking me from my thoughts. I almost tell her that Clare's mystery guy and guardian angel are both Fitz, but I decide I'd better talk to Clare first.

"Yeah I'm fine just thinking," I reply.

"Great well if you're done thinking can you hand me the socket wrench I've asked you for three times now?"

"Oh yeah sorry."

I concentrate for the rest of class and eat with Drew and Bianca, when the bell rings for third period I go to Clare's locker. Adam is here and Eli too, Adam grins at me and Eli sort of nods to me.

"I need to talk to you," I tell Clare.

"Okay, we always spend our spare together," she responds.

"Yeah uh we should go off campus," I comment and now Eli glares at me slightly.

"Uh sure, see you guys in media studies," Clare says and waves to Eli and Adam. We walk out to the lacrosse field because it's the farthest from the school. Not entirely off campus but I didn't want to deal with ravine kids and not too many places for a private conversation on the street.

"Your mystery guy and your guardian angel, the one that led me to you when Steve and his friends had you trapped," I mutter the last part under my breath as that suddenly makes a lot more sense, "they're one in the same."

"That wasn't a question," Clare points out.

"I wasn't asking and given your recent obsession with seeing a picture of Fitz I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that both are Fitz. But why are you so obsessed with seeing a picture of him and why is he protecting you? Not that you don't need it but he didn't know you at all as far as I knew. Where's he been all this time? How come he's talking to you and you know he's alive but he hasn't let me and Bianca know when we're his best friends?" I fire off questions pacing back and forth a little but now I stop and look at her. She's biting her lip, rolling it back and forth between her teeth and the look on her face is a mix of worry and relief.

"He only knows me because he saved me the first day of school. After Adam and I watched you and Drew at football practice I took a short cut along the edge of the ravine. Got approached by two boys and was fighting okay until one caught me and I fell back hitting my head. This figure showed up in a dark hood that shadowed his face and I passed out. If I hadn't been unconscious at the time he probably would have just disappeared but he took me to where he lives so I could be taken care of. He didn't know where I lived because he hadn't been watching me until that point so he took me to his place, which is where I woke up. I promised not to say anything, to you or to anyone he made me promise when he took me home."

"But where is he now? Where does he live?" I cut her off eager to see my old friend and see for myself that he's still alive.

"I can't tell you I promised I wouldn't and I nearly lost his trust once before. I probably shouldn't even be telling you all this."

"BUT HE'S MY FRIEND," I yell. My boisterous yell makes her shrinks back a little and I force myself to calm down. "Sorry it's just I thought he was dead, or at least gone and I find out he's been here all this time. Why hasn't he contacted me or Bianca, no offense but we are his friends, he was our best friend we were like the Three Musketeers and then he vanished. I just don't get why he'd come to you and not us."

"He has, you just weren't aware of it. He's been watching out for you and Bianca this whole time. He's only been protecting me for the last couple of weeks. He saved Bianca from Vince and Anson and he's been there for you he just does it from the shadows. He's afraid to do anything else," she tells me.

"But why? Bianca and I would never hurt him or expose him."

"He's not part of this world anymore," she replies.

"That doesn't make any sense," I growl back and she flinches again. I don't mean to keep scaring her but I pretty much just found out one of my best friends is back from the dead.

"I promised him I wouldn't say anything Owen. When you followed me into the boiler room he told me I couldn't see him anymore and it broke my heart."

"So you two are dating then?"

"We've been on one date but ever since he saved me that day we've shared a connection. One I can't even begin to understand or explain, nor would I want to but it's there and I am very grateful for it. He won't go out in public and I can't be with him the way I'd like," she's sort of babbling now and she seems to realize this as she looks at me and relaxes. "Well anyway it's complicated. Fitz does still care about you and Bianca but I promised him I wouldn't say anything and I can't say anything more than that. I won't risk losing him but you are important to him Owen."

"I'm his friend, he shouldn't be hiding from me."

(FITZ)

I leave my room a little after ten at night and make my way through the darkness to Adam and Drew's house, and what is at least temporarily Clare's house. They won't be asleep yet but I made sure Bianca made it home safe and then watched the end of Owen and Drew's football practice. I followed Owen home and returned to my home to eat with everyone. I watch the lights in the house from the darkness, the curtains are closed and I can't see Clare but it doesn't matter. After a couple of hours the flickering lights from the TV go out and a few seconds later a new light comes on. After a couple of minutes that light goes off and the basement door opens.

"Fitz?" Clare calls softly into the dark night knowing I'm here. I step out of the shadows and see her smile in the moonlight. "I knew you were here," she grins pulling me in.

"I'll come every night that I can," I remind her.

"I'm just going to get ready for bed don't go anywhere," she says.

I just smile and go to the bed down here, sitting on it with my shoes hanging off. Clare comes out of the washroom a moment later in pajamas. She gets in bed, I put my arm out and she uses my chest as a pillow.

"Owen knows," she tells me after a few silent minutes and I tense up. "He figured it out on his own, please don't be mad. Don't tell me I can't see you anymore," she begs picking her head up to look at me. I can see her in the dark pretty well but my eyes have gotten used to seeing in the dark I doubt hers have.

"I'm not mad, not really and I won't say we can't see each other anymore. That didn't work for either one of us obviously, but how did Owen figure it out?"

"Well I have been rather curious about you since we first met. Plus it hasn't gone unnoticed that I have a secret admirer and a guardian angel. You led Owen to me when Steve and his friends had me trapped and there's the comic Adam is drawing. He didn't use our names but Owen has read it and he pieced it all together. He knew it was you and he was glad you were alive. He thought you were dead, even though he'd hoped you'd run off and were living somewhere nice. I didn't tell him anything about where you live or why you hide but I did say you'd been looking out for him and Bianca. I had to tell him he was very hurt when he thought you were just looking out for me, he couldn't understand why you'd reveal yourself to me and not let them know you were okay."

"They don't need to know me like this," I sigh.

"Fitz they're your friends, even if you don't show them your face don't you think they at least deserve to know you're alive. Not just alive but doing well and you have a new community that accepts you?" Clare says with a slightly scolding tone.

"No," I reply stubbornly.

"Fitz that's not fair, you didn't see Owen's face today. He was very hurt knowing that you revealed yourself to me and yet didn't even let him know you were alive and well. I love what we have, whatever it is but I've only known you a couple of weeks. Owen and Bianca have been your friends for years, they still think about you and it hurts Owen to know you're alive and here but haven't even tried to get in touch with him. He just wants to know you're okay and to have his friend back, if not the way you were before the fire at least a piece of that. I see you every day don't you think Owen deserves the same or at least to know that you're there."

I release a breath and think about everything, "I have to go. I need to go see someone."

"Good," Clare smiles pushing my hood back to kiss my check.

"I didn't say it was Owen I was going to see," I reply.

"You didn't have to," she responds confidently.

"My life has not been the same since you stumbled into," I comment getting off the bed.

"Is that good or bad?" She questions sitting up a little.

I kneel on the bed and cup her face in my gloved hand, "Good, very good."

She smiles and I leave her going quietly through the basement door. With the night it's easy to move in the shadows to Owen's house. I pick up some rocks from the garden putting them in my pocket and climbing the tree in the yard. It doesn't quite go to his window but there's a limb that's strong enough to hold me and gets close enough to his window for us to talk. I perch on the branch and take a stone from my pocket lightly tossing it to the window so that it makes a clink on the window. There's a light on in Owen's room so I know he's awake but he doesn't come to the window after the first stone so I toss another. This time the curtain opens and then the window and Owen looks down.

"Up here," I say and he looks into the tree. He's looking at me but he can't see me cloaked in the shadow so I shift a little.

"Fitz?! You are alive! Where have you been? Why didn't you tell us you were alive? Why are you hiding in the dark?" He inquires rapidly each question nearly on the same breath as the last.

"It's a long story," is my response.

"Well come inside and tell me then."

"No. I'm hiding in the dark because that's where I stay now. I was caught in the fire and burned, badly burned. You don't want to see me this way," I reply.

"Well where have you been? Where are you living?"

"I've been here but I can't tell you where I live now. It's a secret and it's important that I keep that secret. But I have a community now, a new family and people that care about me. They were all scared by the way I look at first but they're used to it now and they never knew me before. It's a good life but I never forgot about you or Bianca and I've been watching out for you both since I was strong enough to."

"But why didn't you let us know you were alive before?"

"Because I was in the hospital a while and recovering from my burns, I never wanted you guys to see me this way. I didn't want to scare you and I have to hide, I can't just come back to DeGrassi. When I knew the burns would become monstrous scars, when I saw the way people shrunk away, gasped and looked disgusted when they saw me I decided to keep to the darkness and I hide under my hood most of the time even in the dark. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was alive."

Owen is quiet for a moment as he takes in everything I just said. He looks thoughtful and like he's not sure what to ask next.

"So you and Clare?"

"There is no me and Clare, there can't be not the way she deserves. She and I have a connection, one I can't explain but I can…sense her. As deeply as I feel for her I can't really be with her but Eli is dangerous. I'm looking out for her, protecting her the way I do you and Bianca. And now I'm watching out for Drew and Adam too."

"Bianca still doesn't know you're alive," Owen comments.

"You can tell her but I can't see her at her aunt's apartment."

"She'll just be happy that you're alive. When Clare was sneaking around under the boiler room that day was she looking for you? Is that where you live now?"

"Yes she was and no I don't live in the boiler room. I'll come to you guys; I know how to find you. I should go, you should get to sleep and I should get home. Clare was right though you deserve to know I'm alive."

"So we get to see you now? I mean Clare sees you and we're your friends," Owen points out.

"Even Clare doesn't see me without my hood," I tell him, which isn't entirely true she has seen me and she's even insisted on it before but I'm not explaining that all to Owen right now. "I will be back though but it's not like before we can't just hang out and go the movies things are different now."

"Dude I thought you were dead so even being able to talk to you is good. I'll tell Bianca tomorrow," Owen says.

"If she sleeps at Drew's I can talk to her there tomorrow night. Good night Owen."

He says goodnight and I jump out of the tree making my way home. I've known Clare for two weeks and I've already told Owen I was alive and revealed myself, at least in a way, to Adam. It feels good though, not totally hiding and having my friends know I'm alive it does feel good.

Update Friday September 18th picking up the next day at school and Bianca finding out Fitz is alive. Also Eli gets desperate when he fears he's losing Clare to the mysterious competition.