It's very short I apologize today was extremely hectic at work leaving not time to write and I'm pretty beat. But short is better than not at all right?

Be sure to check out the DeGrassi Saviors website. I posted the November and December calendars. November is one shot month, lots and lots and lots of one shots! December is short story month 3 chapters of each short story that will be running at the time.

Ch. 10 Everything Means Nothing

(OWEN)

I got to school early this morning waiting for Bianca and Clare. Finding out Fitz was alive yesterday was great and yet upsetting, not upsetting because he's alive but that he's been alive and here all this time and hiding. He's still hiding I guess but at least now I know he's alive and he's been around. I still wish he had let us know he was alive and here and that he wasn't so secretive or that he felt he needs to be. Bianca arrives first, I see her car pull up and walk over to her.

"We need to talk," I tell her and then look around at all the kids in the yard. "Somewhere private," I add taking her hand and pulling her into school.

"Okay Mr. Enigmatic," Bianca responds sardonically. I look around and then pull her into the memorial garden.

"Fitz is alive," I tell her and her mouth drops open.

"What the hell do you mean Fitz is alive? You heard from him? Where the hell is he?"

"He's here, he's been here all along and he's been watching us but I only found out last night that he was even still alive."

"Well how the hell did you find out and where the fuck has he been?"

"He's been here, somewhere I don't know he wouldn't tell me. He's been watching us, looking out for us. When Vince and Anson attacked you it was Fitz that saved you."

"But why didn't he say something? Why has he been hiding?"

"Because he was caught in the fire and badly burned. He didn't want us or anyone to see him that way. He said he would talk to you tonight if you slept at the Torres house."

"So I can see him?"

"He stayed in the dark and the shadow when he was talking to me last night. I couldn't see him at all but I heard his voice, I knew it was him."

"So what he just came to you after all this time and told you he was alive?"

"Not exactly, I figured out that Clare's mystery guy and Dark Hood from Adam's comic, also known as Clare's guardian angel are in the same. I confronted Clare and she confirmed it, she told me she'd tried convincing Fitz to tell us he was alive before but he wouldn't. I guess she finally convinced him," I enlighten her.

"Fitz has a crush on Clare?"

"I think it's more than a crush. They have a relationship of sorts, a connection he called it," I'm telling her and stop talking when the door opens and Drew comes in.

"Everything okay?" Drew questions

"Yeah everything is fine we were just talking," I answer and Bianca doesn't say anything. She knows not to say anything, not yet anyway since Fitz has been a secret this long.

"Walk me to my locker," she says to Drew.

He grins and they leave the room, I follow them out going to my locker. I put in some books and feel a light touch on my arm; I look over to see Clare.

"Omar's mom is coming from Kingston tonight and staying over. She's sleeping in Adam's room and he'll take the sofa downstairs. Even if Fitz doesn't know already he won't come when there's so many people at the house. He'll come to you if Bianca's at your house," she informs me.

"I'll tell her, and thanks for whatever you said to convince him to come to me," I reply and she smiles.

"I knew it was time, I knew he wanted to h…"

"Clare," Eli interrupts us rushing over and grabbing her arm then whirling her around to face him. "Clare I had the most amazing idea, you have to come help me work on it," he asserts pulling her arm and he begins running down the hall dragging her behind him.

"Eli I will help you but we have class in a few minutes," she reminds him. He stops running so suddenly that Clare nearly falls. Eli's behavior is odd and I walk closer to them just to be safe.

"You think class is more important than me?"

"Eli that's not what I said but if we're not in class we'll get in trouble. We can eat lunch with Adam and we can both help you," Clare assures him just as the bell rings.

"Fine but I need to write down all these ideas before I lose them," Eli grumbles and then pulls her along to class.

"That boy is dangerous," I mutter to myself as I walk to class. "Come to my place tonight, Clare says Fitz will find us there, Omar's mom is sleeping over tonight," I inform Bianca when I get to class.

"Yeah Drew told me, I was going to ask about a contingency plan. It's still kind of weird the idea of Fitz and Clare," Bianca comments.

"According to him there is no he and Clare. You can ask him about it tonight. You don't think Drew will mind that you're sleeping at my place?"

"Nah he knows you're like my brother," she shakes her head.

I spend all of homeroom thinking about Fitz, wondering where he's been and about this connection he shares with Clare. What happened to him in the fire and the hospital and a million other thoughts. We leave homeroom together and go to auto shop, Drew's already here and Bianca tells him that she's sleeping at my place tonight because she doesn't want to be at home. Drew just says cool he knows there's nothing more than friendship between us. Clare and Adam are eating outside with Eli and Drew, Bianca and I also eat outside, both to enjoy the warm weather while we have it and to keep an eye on Eli. Nothing happens at lunch really, they just eat and talk, every so often Eli will jump up or make a big motion as he gets an idea but that's about it. Clare and I have our spare after lunch which we spend together now. All six of us walk in together and go to our lockers, Sav and some other members of student council are putting up posters for a dance next Friday.

"We should all go together as a group," Adam speaks up.

"Sure," Clare nods.

"You think we can actually get Drew to dance?" Bianca laughs.

"I'll dance with you Bianca," Clare says.

"Save me a dance?" Eli asserts.

"Of course I will Eli," she nods. After we all visit our lockers the others go to class and Clare and I go into the memorial garden to do homework.

"You going to save Eli that dance?" I ask Clare as we begin to work.

"I promised him I would," she nods without looking up from her book.

"You going to save Fitz a dance too?" I question in a slightly harsher tone than I meant to and now Clare looks up from her book.

"He can't exactly attend the dance; he certainly won't walk into the dance wearing his hood in a room full of kids. He won't, not unless one of us was in trouble and he knew no one else would save us. I wish he would come to the dance, I'd like nothing more than to dance with him, alone or surrounded by people. He holds me close and yet he keeps me at a distance and even though I understand his reasons it hurts. It hurts us both, I know it does I feel his pain but…but I can't force him to come back to this world and I can't be a part of his."

"If you care about Fitz so deeply then why even bother with Eli as anything but a friend?"

"It's complicated and more than I can explain in one spare period. Both boys seem doomed to darkness and I become entangles in it and torn apart by it."

"What do you mean?"

"Fitz chooses to live in the dark, he hides there afraid that his appearance has become so monstrous people will scream when they see him. The dark and the shadow are his friends, he lives in them, hides in them, they surround him. Eli doesn't hide, he's part of society and he doesn't look monstrous but the darkness lives in him. It comes out sometimes turning Eli into a monster, a terrifying violent monster," she tells me with a shudder.

"Has he hurt you before? Is that what happened last week?"

"He didn't mean to," she replies timidly.

"Bullshit if he hurts you again we better hear about it so I can break his face," I assert.

"Fitz was there, he came when I needed him, he always does."

She looks sort of sad, yet happy at the same time. I see how she's torn, how her heart, mind and soul are broken into two pieces, maybe even more. For a moment she's somewhere else, her eyes are distant and a little smile curls up one corner of her mouth as she remembers something fondly or maybe fantasizes about something she wishes for. When the memory or fantasy is gone the smile drops and she looks back at her book doing homework.

We spend the rest of our spare doing homework when the bell rings we both walk to media studies together. We watch a video in the class and then discuss the video. After class Drew and I have football practice after school and Bianca's going straight to my house. I find her there after practice, she eats dinner with us since she's spending the night then we both go back to my room. Bianca's already done all her homework and I only have a little left. I finish it around eight and we watch TV for a few hours. When the rest of my house is dark and silent a pebble hits my window.

"That's Fitz," I tell Bianca and we get up going to my window. I open the curtains and then the window barely able to make out a figure cloaked in darkness.

"Hi Bianca," Fitz says.

"Fuck you really are alive," she exhales. "I don't know whether to kick you or kiss you," Bianca comments.

"You can't do either this is as close as I'm getting, it's not you I'm just safer in shadow," Fitz replies.

"I don't care how bad you look now you're our friend I want to see you," Bianca asserts.

"You say that now but everyone screams or shrinks away when they see me. I'm alive and I've been watching over you, all of you. I know everything that's gone on in your life since I left the hospital," he says.

"But we know nothing that's gone on in yours does that seem fair to you?"

"You are all that's gone on in my life," he responds.

"No it isn't and you know it isn't don't you trust us?" I prod.

"It's not up to me, where I live and who I live with is a secret. One I can't tell even to those I trust. I found them when I left the hospital, I hadn't healed yet. I spent many weeks alone in my room only Doc, he's sort of like a father to me, would come in my room. He took care of me, I healed and became strong again and started watching out for you and Owen. I started watching Drew when you began dating him and then the first day of school Clare went walking through the ravine and was attacked, she fought them before being knocked out. I've been watching her since then and Adam since…I'm not sure really the last couple weeks I guess about as long as I've been watching Clare."

Bianca spends the next few minutes asking Fitz many of the same questions I asked last night and he gives her the same answers. About where he's been and where he lives, why he won't let us see him.

"What about Clare? I know you like her but Owen says you say there is no you and Clare," Bianca remarks.

"There isn't, there can't be. I can't be with her the way she needs, the way she deserves. She deserves better, she d…"

"Bull, that's just bull and you know it. Clare likes you and I know you like her, the flowers on her locker going to see her at night, being there every time she needs you, what guy would do better than that for her?"

"She needs someone that can always be with her, someone that doesn't have to hide their face and someone that can take her on a date and be in public."

"But you could do that, it can't be that bad. People will get used to the way you loo…"

"No," Fitz argues cutting Bianca off abruptly, "no they wouldn't. It took months for the people I live with to not react to how I look; they see me everyday and even with them I still wear my hood. People on the street, in the school, all of society they would react and they do. I don't want to live my life in shame and fear because I look like a monster and make little kids scream."

"Is it really that bad?" Bianca questions.

"Just before the fire Steven and Barry gave me scars on my face, wounds back then. The fire was only a couple of days later; I was caught in it, trapped and severely burned. I look like a creature from a horror movie no one wants to see me."

"Well that just sucks. I know you're alive and we can't hang out with you," Bianca huffs.

"I'll look out for you, and I'll come to you, we can talk like I do with Clare."

"There's a dance next week Clare wants you to be there," I tell him.

"I can't come to a school dance," Fitz argues.

"Then find a way to dance with Clare because she deserves that too," I assert.

"I can't come into the dance but there m…" Fitz pauses and stand in the tree, "I have to go Clare's in trouble."

Before either of us can say anything he jumps down from the tree and runs from the yard. He's gone into the dark before we can even take a breath and I exchange a look with Bianca.

"Do you think Clare's really in trouble?" She asks.

"I have no idea but I'll call Drew I'm sure he's still awake," I reply.

"Hey Owen," Drew answers.

"Is Clare okay?" I inquire.

"Uh she should be getting ready for bed downstairs, hang on I'll go check," Drew tells us. I hear him get up and walk down two sets of stairs to the basement. "Clare?" Drew calls but we don't hear anything. After a few seconds I hear him knocking on a door and then he speaks, "Where's Clare?" Drew asks so Adam must have answered the door, washroom door I'm guessing.

"What do you mean where's Clare she's right…where'd she go?"

"I have to go Clare's missing," Drew replies and hangs up.

"So she's not okay?" Bianca inquires.

"I don't know she's missing."

I know really short and I'm ending on a cliffhanger, the next update on October 15th will pick up from here and likely include the dance as well.