Next week there will be no chapters on Tuesday or Wednesday and possibly Thursday. I will keep you guys updated but we have to meet a deadline of January 31st and it's going to mean some crazy days and long hours so no chapters. Monday and Friday next week will for sure have chapters, Thursday might have a chapter depending on how the day goes.
There also may not be chapters this weekend because of work demands and a visiting friend on Sunday. I might very well have to work this weekend to meet the deadline which would mean not chapters. I will keep you all updated and keep an eye on the DeGrassi Saviors site Friday and Saturday for updates about this weekend and next week.
Everyone head to tomfeltonlover1991's page on the DeGrassi Saviors website and vote in her poll. She needs help deciding on a plot for a DeGrassi & 5 Seconds of Summer crossover. You can vote as many times as you like so keep voting.
Ch. 14 We're Different Now than When We Started
(CLARE)
"Ready?" Drew asks and I nod sliding out to the car door, he picks me up and I put my arm around his neck. I hiss and hide my face in his shoulder. "You okay?" Drew queries with a worried tone as he starts walking.
"My leg hurts and I'm not hooked up to a morphine drip anymore," I reply and he chuckles.
"They sent you home pain pills," he tells me and I hear the sliding glass door open. I was released from the hospital today and have been brought home. My bandages came off yesterday and even though Fitz made me feel beautiful last night I wanted to hide my face when I saw it again this morning.
"Clare you should rest, I'll make you kids a snack," Audra says as Drew sets me on the sofa.
"Do you want anything?" Owen inquires. He and Bianca came to the hospital to help bring me home and Owen and Drew skipped football practice to bring me home.
"Pain pills would be nice my leg and arm are in a lot of pain."
Drew gets my pain pills and Adam gets me some water. Owen turns on the TV and we watch TV until Audra brings down lunch.
"The doctor said it was best for you to rest at home this week, you can return next week. You won't have any more surgeries for at least a month. We thought we'd have a party at the house this weekend, a welcome home party and a celebration because the adoption came through," Audra says while we're eating.
"Sure that sounds fine," I nod. A party means people and no one aside from those in the room; Fitz and Omar have seen my face. I can cover some with makeup but maybe I can hide under a veil or something.
Audra goes upstairs and I finish eating, the pain pills take effect and I get tired. I fall asleep while everyone is watching TV. In the hospital I was under heavy drugs and didn't dream or at least I don't remember any dreams if I had them. But now I dream, at first of Fitz and I'm happy and calm but then the dream takes a turn and I'm in Eli's car speeding toward the brick wall. I see the wall approaching I feel the crunching explosive force as we hit the wall and then the pain as the glass explodes and showers me, cutting and lodging into my flesh.
"Clare, Clare wake up you're okay it's just a dream," Owen's voice commands and my eyes open. He's looking at me concerned and still has a hand on my shoulder where he was shaking me. Drew, Bianca and Adam all look at me with the same concerned look.
"Sorry I was dreaming about the crash," I apologize trying to sit up more but it's not working very well.
"It's okay you'll probably be dreaming about it for a while do you need anything?" Drew questions.
"Yes I need to use the washroom," I tell them. Using the washroom with a broken arm, broken leg and still healing cracked ribs is quite the feat. Audra and Omar already got a support for the toilet but I need a wheelchair or help getting to the washroom and then sometimes help with my clothes. I was able to get to the sink okay from the toilet in the hospital but they were right next to each other in this washroom they're across from each other. And of course I need a wheelchair or help getting from the washroom to wherever I was.
"I'll carry her Bianca you help her," Owen says. He lifts me up and takes me to the washroom and sets me down carefully. He leaves and Bianca comes in closing the door behind her. I'm wearing a dress which I thought would be easy but I'm finding it difficult to lift the dress and keep it up and get my underwear down. Bianca gets the dress up and tucks the bottom of the dress through the top so it stays up.
"Thanks I can get it from here," I tell her.
"I'll be right outside the door holler if you need help," she says and then leaves the washroom.
It's still very tricky getting my underwear down and then sitting down on the toilet, even with the support bars, while balancing on one leg. Getting my underwear up is even more of a pain and I decide to not wear underwear until I can at least use my arm other arm again. I didn't have underwear at the hospital most of the time and when I did there was a nurse helping me in the washroom. After I get my dress down my good leg is starting to ache and is shaking and my broken leg is in pain again. I try hopping to the sink and make it but have to catch myself and barely manage to wash my hand. Bianca must hear the sink because she opens the door just as I turn it off.
"You should have called for help," she scolds me rushing over and putting my good arm around her shoulders to support me. "Guys someone come get her before she falls and breaks her other leg," Bianca calls into the room.
Drew bounds over the back of the sofa and picks me up, "I got you Sis."
It's the first time he's called me sis and the adoption papers haven't even been approved yet. Audra and Omar assure me they will be but it's not official just yet. Still I like when he calls me Sis and I smile.
"Thanks Bro," I grin and he sets me back on the sofa. "That was exhausting and my leg hurts again."
"You can't have any more pain meds yet," Drew tells me and I twist my mouth. I didn't think my injuries were that painful but I guess the morphine drip in the hospital was keeping me from feeling much.
"Here let's elevate your leg that should help," Adam says gathering some pillows. Owen gently lifts my leg and Adam puts the pillows down then Owen sets my leg down again.
I spend the afternoon tired and in pain, I try to concentrate on the TV but it's not easy and by the time Omar comes home and Audra comes down with dinner I'm nearly asleep again. We all eat downstairs because otherwise someone would have to carry me upstairs.
"Drew will sleep down here in case you need help in the middle of the night," Audra says as we eat. Drew gives me a grin but we both know that he doesn't need to be down here because Fitz will come tonight. Of course Audra and Omar don't know that and so would think it necessary for Drew to be down here.
"Thanks Mom," I say without thinking and then look at her, "I mean Audra."
"That's alright the adoption is almost official you can call us Mom and Dad," she smiles.
Mom and Dad return upstairs after dinner, everyone else begins on their homework. I have no homework since I haven't been to school since the crash. I'm quite behind but I did catch up some in the hospital. Since the pain medication makes me tired I fall asleep again after dinner and don't wake up until I hear the sliding glass door, I look over to see Owen and Bianca leaving.
"I didn't mean to fall asleep," I apologize.
"They're leaving because it's late not because you fell asleep. You'll see them tomorrow," Adam says.
"You should get ready for bed, I'll carry you into the bedroom," Drew comments.
"I do have a wheelchair," I remind him.
"And we have carpet down here, anyway the bedroom isn't far," Drew replies picking me up.
He takes me into the bedroom and gets out pajamas for me before leaving my room. It's rather difficult and tiring to get undressed and then get my pajamas on but I manage. Drew carries me to the washroom; it's easier to go to the washroom wearing only a nightshirt. I wash my hands and then Drew and Adam bring in a stool so I can brush my teeth. Then Drew carries me back to the bed and helps me under the covers.
"It's going to get exhausting and tiresome for everyone to help me so much," I remark.
"Your arm will come out of the cast next week and you'll need a little less help. Anyway we don't mind," Drew assures me. "Fitz should be here any time now, he'll sleep with you like in the hospital but I'll still be on the sofa just in case, and Mom and Dad don't know about Fitz."
"I'll be upstairs but I'll see you in the morning," Adam says and hugs me before going upstairs.
I ask Drew to get me some water before he gets comfortable on the sofa. He goes out to the kitchen to do just that and I hear the sliding glass door open again so I know Fitz is here. I hear Fitz say hello to Drew and they talk a couple of minutes before Fitz brings me my water and himself.
"Turn out the light," I request taking the water bottle.
"Are you tired?"
"Yes," I reply.
"You're not trying to hide your face from me are you?" Fitz asks turning off the light.
"I wish the bandages had never come off," I pout as he sits on the bed. He's taking off his shoes I can hear it.
"Clare you still look beautiful, I don't even notice," Fitz assures me. With his shoes off he lies on the bed on the covers and fully clothed still but he does take his hood down.
"To you it doesn't but I see how it's hard for even Adam and the others to see me. Mom and Dad want to have a party this weekend to celebrate me coming home and the adoption. A party is nice but everyone will see me for the first time and I don't want them to, I know how it looks," I comment moving over to lie on his chest as best I can.
"Everyone knows what happened it will be shocking at first but they'll get over it. Besides you have more surgeries and the cuts will heal. You should be getting to sleep," Fitz insists as his fingers begin caressing my back over the nightshirt.
"I've been in and out of sleep most of the day but I am tired," I yawn gripping his hoodie.
"Then sleep I won't leave you until the sun is up," Fitz insists and kisses my forehead.
I want to stay awake, to be with Fitz and talk to him but I'm exhausted and sleep overtakes me. I don't dream of the crash again with Fitz holding me all I dream of is us. When I wake late the next morning he's gone, back to the shadows and he'll stay there until the shadows are back above ground. The day is dull and exhausting, I spend most of it sleeping and when I'm awake I'm doing school work to catch up. Bianca and Adam come over right after school, Mom is home all day, Owen and Drew come after football practice and Dad arrives just before dinner. Owen stays for dinner and Bianca is staying the night, I like spending time with my family and friends but the best part of my day is when it's dark and Mom and Dad have gone to bed because that is when Fitz comes. He stays with me all night and though I'm asleep I feel the warmth and safety of his arms, I hear his heartbeat, feel his breath on my skin. I sleep comforted and happy all night long.
It's the same all week, dull days of homework and sleeping, the days get more interesting when Adam and Bianca get home and of course when Drew gets home. Owen is here most evenings too but Fitz is here every night all night and gone with the dawn. Saturday is different, my party is today and I appreciate the party but I'm afraid of everyone's reactions and more than anything I want Fitz to be with me. The family eats breakfast together in the morning. We learned the adoption became official on Thursday and had a small celebration with us, Bianca and Owen. After breakfast Mom and Dad go shopping for the party while I nap. I wake up when Mom and Dad begin setting up for the party and then Mom and Bianca help me get ready for the party.
"There's a Halloween dance at the school if you want to go, you'll be back at school by then," Drew comments.
"Yeah and Fitz could dress up in something with a mask so he's hidden," Adam adds quietly so the parents don't hear.
"But I won't be able to dance with a broken leg," I point out.
"We'll stay here, we can watch scary movies and then Fitz can hang out here," Bianca suggests also in a low voice and I smile.
"What about Mom and Dad?"
"They won't bother us and if we hear them coming down the stairs Fitz can hide in your room," Adam replies still keeping his voice low.
"People will be arriving any minute are you ready?" Mom asks.
"No," I shake my head.
"It's just a few people, your closest friends and our grandparents they all know about the accident and that your face was cut by the glass. They're here to celebrate not make judgements on your appearance," Adam tries to assure me.
"That won't stop them from making judgments or staring," I comment.
"Only at first, it's shocking but they'll get over it," Drew says and I hear the sliding glass door open. I look over to see Omar's parents coming in I've met them before at a dinner after I moved into the house. They live pretty close and they're nice.
"Hi everyone, hello Clare Dear, oh my you poor thing," Grandma says giving me a kind smile and patting my shoulder from behind the sofa as she doesn't seem to be sure how to hug me from there.
"The boy that caused this is he being punished?" Grandpa asks.
"He's still in a coma and in the hospital," Adam replies. Grandpa mutters something that I can't make out and Mom shoots him a look but the door opens again so no one says anything.
"Hi!" I hear Alli chirp. I know without looking she's come with Sav, Jenna, K.C. and Dave. Conner will come with Mr. Simpson because Audra invited him and he said he would come. Wes and Hannah were also invited but that's it since Owen and Bianca are already here and Fitz can't come, even if he'd been invited he wouldn't have come there's too many strangers. "Oh my gosh!" Alli gasps when she sees me.
"I know it looks terrible," I sigh.
"It's not that bad and you have more surgeries right?" Jenna asks.
"Yeah and the cuts will heal but it still looks awful," I comment as Jenna and Alli both hug me.
"Nah it just gives you character," Dave grins hugging me after Alli and Jenna.
Everyone else arrives and hugs me, of course they all gasp at the sight of me. They saw me in the hospital but my face was bandaged so you couldn't see the hideous cuts. Since I can't move from the sofa or much at all I stay seated and people come talk to me, mostly people ask me if I need anything though. When everyone gets over the shock of my appearance I become more at ease and enjoy the party. It only lasts a few hours so that I can rest. Owen and Bianca are both sleeping over tonight, Bianca is taking Drew's bed and he and Owen will sleep on the sofa downstairs. Fitz arrives a little after eleven but Mom and Dad are in bed. It takes me an hour to get ready for bed with the casts and all but Fitz does most of the helping and carrying since he's here. He puts me in bed and gets ready for bed himself; Adam bought him a toothbrush and other toiletries to have here since he's here so much. When Fitz returns to my room he reaches over to turn off my light but I stop him.
"Leave it on," I request.
"Okay," he responds sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes. He takes down his hood and I begin to shimmy so I can sit up but Fitz lifts me and helps me to sit up.
"I want you to take off your hoodie and t-shirt," I request.
"You don't want to see that," he argues with me.
"I do or I wouldn't have asked," I assert.
"Drew's right outside, so is Owen," Fitz whispers.
"I didn't ask you to make love to me I just want to see more of you. I want to see your skin, more than this," I insist brushing my fingertips over his cheek.
"You won't think so when you see it," he sighs but he takes his hoodie off and then his t-shirt. His neck, most of his chest and his arms are scarred. Most of it is burn scars from the fire obviously but I see other scars, cuts or scratches. I brush my fingers over the burn scars, it's changed his skin, it's very smooth and yet textured and rough in a way. "Freakish and ugly isn't it?" Fitz comments lying back while I'm mesmerized his scarring.
"No," I shake my head, "no it's not ugly at all, it's a map. A map to your life, behind each scar is a story and proof that even the worst wounds heal with time."
Fitz smiles and I kiss the middle of his chest, the soft and textured skin brushes my lips and I hear Fitz release a breath. He puts his arms around me and holds me to him for a moment before releasing me.
"Can I turn off the light now? I'd only do this for you I don't want them to see me this way," Fitz comments.
While I was in the hospital a curtain was put up at the alcove down here for more privacy. It was put up because they knew someone would need to sleep down here in case I needed help. The curtain keeps Drew and Owen from seeing what's happening in my room but they could come in and Fitz doesn't even take his hood down around them.
"You can turn off the light," I nod, "but keep your shirt off I want to sleep against your skin."
He takes the throw blanket from the end of the bed and turns off the lights. Then he sits on the bed on top of the blankets while I scoot down again to sleep. I move so that I can put my head on Fitz's chest while I sleep.
"The things I do for you," Fitz whispers as he begins stroking my back softly.
"Goodnight Fitz," I smile and kiss his chest again.
"Goodnight my sweet goddess," he whispers and I smile falling asleep happy and safe.
Update on February 18th will begin with Clare returning to school and probably include Halloween.