We can never be together kiss

So this started out as a pretty short one shot but it was horribly angsty and after leaving it to sit for a while before I typed it up and decided that I needed to do something to take the edge off. So the first small part was inspired by the prompt 'we can never be together kiss' and also by the discovery of 'Dry your eyes mate' by The Streets on my iPod and the rest is what happened when I came back to it in a better mood and wanted to fix things for our favourite ladies.

So this comes with an angst warning, but I promise it gets better in the end.

Andrea stepped towards Miranda and reached out to tilt the other woman's chin so that their eyes met. Her heart was pounding in her ears, her breaths were shallow and she was fighting hard against the tears that were burning in her eyes. When her eyes met the older woman's what was left of her heart fell straight out of her chest. She had expected to come eye to eye with the Editor in Chief but what met her was Miranda, the woman who she had spent the last several months coming to know and love.

As her assistant, Andrea had learned to read Miranda from the slightest gesture or the slightest change in her eyes and in that moment she wished that she had never been so good at her job. The age old saying applied to Miranda in spades, her eyes were very much the windows to her soul and they were reflecting back everything that Andrea was feeling.

"Miranda..." she cursed that her voice sounded so weak, that she didn't know what else she could say, Miranda had heard all of her arguments, knew all of the reasons why Andrea thought this thing between them could work and already had her own set of counter arguments ready and waiting. The twins, the press, the divorce, both of their jobs and the baby were Miranda's well practiced defences and Andrea was at a loss as to how to counter them.

She felt hands grip hers where it rested against the older woman's skin and tried her hardest not to let the touch soothe her. Miranda squeezed the hand in hers lightly before slowly moving it away from her body, bringing it to rest on Andrea's slightly rounded stomach. Their eyes never left each other and the obvious tears building in the older woman's eyes were almost her undoing. She watched Miranda take a slow, deep breath, a sad smile tipping the corners of her mouth ever so slightly. Her eyes slid closed when Miranda's lips met hers and her hand came to rest on the side of her bump and didn't open until she heard the door click closed, the 'I love you' that Miranda had murmured against her lips hanging in the air, her hand print permanently branded into her skin.

She'd run out of tears hours ago, or at least she thought she had. Allowing her knees to buckle beneath her she hit the floor, the tears coming hot and fast. She should have known from the beginning that this relationship was doomed to fail. The minute it had stopped being just about the sex and feelings had become involved she should have put a stop to it but she had been so surprised that Miranda actually returned her feelings that she had let it continue and now it had broken them both. It was like Miranda said. If they had met at a different time in either of their lives then maybe they could have made it work but as it was Miranda felt there was too much stacked against them.

Miranda Priestly loved her, she knew that much to be true, she had looked into the other woman's eyes when she had said it, felt the way she would stroke her hair, her face, her growing stomach when she thought she was asleep. It was something that was hard to fake, that kind of reverence, and Andrea refused to believe that Miranda would. She loved Miranda too, more fiercely than she had ever thought it possible to love another human being until she had discovered that she was pregnant and she realised that she had enough of that love for two. She loved the older woman despite all of the reasons why she shouldn't and she knew that this was it for her, they couldn't be together but she would cherish the memories of the time they had spent together and she knew in her heart that she would never stop loving her.

When Andrea had appeared at a charity gala five months previously Miranda hadn't expected to speak to the other woman never mind that they would end the night violently fucking in the back of the Towncar or that it would become what it had. It had been a month of rough and ready sex in executive bathrooms, empty offices and budget hotel rooms and then Andrea had found out she was pregnant. With no father on the scene and her friends and parents gone along with him Miranda had found herself in the strange position of being the younger woman's only friend. So after that, they didn't just fuck anymore, they still had sex of course but it came after a shared dinner, shared conversation and with this new side of their relationship came feelings. Feelings which she had been ignoring since the younger woman's transformation at Nigel's hand, which she had managed to continue to ignore, content to have what she could get from the girl and which she was sure would never be returned until Andrea had murmured a quiet 'I love you' to a 'sleeping' Miranda before slipping away to her own apartment one night.

With the realisation of mutual love came another much worse, what they shared had to end. Neither of them were stable enough in their jobs to survive the media storm that would follow a discovery that Miranda Priestly was shacked up with her ex assistant who also happened to be twenty years younger than her and pregnant and it would get out eventually, it was a miracle really that they hadn't been discovered already. Then there were the children, her own twins and Andrea's unborn little girl, it wasn't fair to subject them to that kind of scrutiny. Then there was Miranda's number one reason. Andrea. The brunette deserved so much better than to be treated like a dirty little secret, so much better than Miranda, so much better than to be dragged through the press. Miranda had had years to come to terms with what the press said about her but Andrea, although tougher than she had been when she had first joined the Runway team, Miranda knew would loose part of herself with every harsh word that was printed until there was nothing left.

Sliding into the back of the towncar she weighed up her options, if she went home the girls would know imediatley that there was something going on, if she went to the office she ran the risk of coming across someone, probably Nigel, working late and he would take one look at her and know exactly what had happened and try and make her talk, but she couldn't talk about it, not yet.

"Roy, drive around until I tell you I'm ready to go home." She said before putting up the privacy screen and dropping her head back onto the head rest, the first hot tear breaking free and sliding down her cheek and into her hair. Roy knew everything and would no doubt know exactly what had happened, but unlike Nigel her would never dare to ask questions, he would simply do his job and pretend that he knew nothing like he had been doing for years. She felt safe with Roy, almost as safe as she felt with Andrea and so she didn't stifle the sobs, didn't try and stem the tears, for a change she allowed herself to feel everything and let herself drown in it.

5 Years Later

Andrea wandered the paths of Central Park, her daughter hanging on her arm as she chattered about everything and nothing while they looked for a place to set down their picnic. It had been a long, busy few weeks which had meant that her daughter had spent more time with sitters than Andrea would have liked but it was the first day of her holiday and Andrea was going to spend every minute of the next week making up for it.

"Here mommy." A tug at her arm pulled her to a halt and she smiled as she followed her daughters pointed finger to a tree which was close enough to the swings that the girl would be able to go and play but not so close that it was crowded.

"Ok honey, come on then."

"Puppy!" Andrea turned from unpacking the basket to watch a small streak of fur tearing towards them, stopping only when it reached humans, jumping and yipping around them. She had just managed to grab a hold of the energetic bundle to check for a collar and an ID when an all too familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Charles!" the puppy stopped its fussing, gave one final yip and then ran back to his master, Andrea didn't dare look up from her hands, "I'm sorry about that, it's his first time outside of the house and he's a little over excited."

"He's cool mommy. Can we get a puppy?" Miranda froze as she took in the little girl, with her dark hair and wide brown eyes. When Andrea had told her that she was pregnant, that it was going to be a little girl, this was exactly what she had imagined. It wasn't the first time she had come across a little girl who stopped her in her tracks or a brunette who made her pause, and each time it was like a punch in the solar plexus that would take her days to get over.

"Maybe when you are old enough to look after one honey." Andrea reached out and smoothed a hand over her daughters unruly hair, keeping the thick curtain of her own between her and Miranda in the hopes she wouldn't recognise her. Clearly four years had made her forget exactly who Miranda Priestly was.

"Andrea?" Miranda didn't dare to hope, barely dared to breathe as the woman turned her face to her with a sad smile,

"Hi Miranda." It was a miracle really, that this was the first time they had seen each other since that night but Andrea wasn't convinced that she would ever be ready to come face to face with the older woman,

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby."

"Who's this?"

"This is mommy's friend Miranda."

"Hi Miranda," the little girl stood and held out her hand, causing Andrea no small amount of pride, "My name's Miranda too, well my middle name is anyway. Holly Miranda Sachs."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Holly." Miranda shook her hand even as her heart stuttered to a halt before starting again double time, Holly Miranda Sachs, even after she had walked away, Andrea had never forgotten her, had given a part of her to her child, because she knew that it was no coincidence that the girl carried her name as a middle name. She must have missed something between mother and daughter because when she was once again paying attention Holly was lying on her stomach a little way from them, surrounded by coloured pens and pencils, a sketch book in front of her.

"She is truly beautiful Andrea, and polite, you've done an exceptional job of raising her."

"Thank you," Andrea allowed the slight blush to tint her cheeks, she had never gotten used to being complimented by Miranda Priestly, "She's a handful but I wouldn't change her for the world. Speaking of handfuls, how are the twins?"

"Working hard on their senior projects," Miranda couldn't hide the proud smile, "We are going on our first tour of colleges next week."

"Wow. All grown up." Andrea missed the twins almost as much as she missed their mother and she was pleased to hear that they were doing well.

"And how have you been Andrea?" she knew she should end the conversation now and make her escape but being near the brunette again made her realise exactly how much she had missed her and she didn't want the interaction to end.

"Good, busy. Between Holly and work its manic but its all worth it." Andrea smiled, shuffling over so she was leant against the tree and pulling the thermos from the basket by her side, waving it at the other woman, "Care for a coffee?"

"Searing hot?" Miranda smirked even as she chastised herself lightly for her blatant flirting. For her part Andrea couldn't help but hope that maybe this could be their time, that maybe this was the part of their lives where they could make something work because without seeing Miranda she had known that she still loved her, all seeing her had done was confirm that fact.

"Of course." She could never resist that smile and so she sat, pulling Charles into her lap, pleased when he seemed content to curl up and sleep, "How have you been? I heard that Irv finally retired."

"Yes, finally," Miranda accepted the coffee with a pleased hum, savouring the first mouthful, "I've been voted in as the new chair of Elias Clark publications, it's more work but its worth it, even just to make sure that the money is going where it should be."

"Miranda that's amazing." They both froze when Andrea's hand landed on her thigh and squeezed, both more than aware of the electricity that snapped and crackled between them

"Andrea..." her words skittered off as blue eyes met brown and she frowned, even as she knew what was tumbling out of her mouth to be the total truth, this woman had always had been able to make her stop thinking before she spoke, "I've missed you." Andrea sagged in relief, her hand once again squeezing her thigh.

"I've missed you too."

2 Years Later

Andrea floated slowly to consciousness, aware of whispered voices, also aware that it was still too dark behind her eyelids to be awake. Rolling towards the sound she cracked her eyes open and couldn't suppress the smile at what met her. Holly and Miranda were curled facing each other and whispering quietly, Holly had one of Miranda's hands held in both of hers and was tracing the lines on her palm with practiced finger. Since that first day in the park, when Andrea and Miranda had only dared to hope that they were being given a second chance, the pair had been inseparable. In the early days it had been almost impossible for them to get any time alone because as soon as Holly realised that Miranda was around she was stuck to the other woman like glue and trying to leave her with a sitter so they could have an actual date was almost impossible, mostly because neither of them were able to say no to the girls wide brown eyes and pout. Once Andrea and Holly moved into the townhouse things didn't change much although Holly was now torn between being stuck to Miranda and being the twin's shadow. She would often find the pair sharing whispered secrets together, reading to each other or drawing together. Miranda had proved to be everything she had wanted for her daughter from the minute she had discovered she was pregnant.

"Why are we awake?" she asked quietly, brushing fingers through her daughter's unruly hair, the only thing that remotely reminded her of Nate.

"Someone's excited," Miranda said, eyes twinkling so it was difficult to work out exactly which of them was excited

"And why's that munchkin?"

"Caro and Cass are coming hoomeeee!" Holly squealed, wriggling so she was lying on her back and reaching up to kiss her mom messily on the cheek, "Morning mommy."

"Is it really morning?" Andrea made a show of rubbing her eyes even though she was smiling,

"Only just," Miranda hummed, leaning over and kissing Andrea's cheek before rolling nimbly out of bed, "I'm going to go and make some coffee."

Miranda paused in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a cup of coffee in each hand. Andrea and Holly were sat up in bed now, Holly had found her favourite place, body bracketed by Andrea's legs so she could lean back against her moms body and be encircled by her arms and they were watching something on the iPad.

When she had made a decision to do the right thing and walk away from Miranda she hadn't dared hope that this could be her future. She'd spent the intervening years telling herself that she had done the right thing, that Andrea, wherever she was, was happier, better off, that she had found someone better suited to her, closer to her own age, she was adamant that she could get through the rest of her life just knowing that the younger woman was happy. What a fool she had been.

"Hey," she blinked slowly, bringing her eyes back into focus as Andrea's voice pulled her out of her introspection and she met brown eyes and a wide smile, "Where were you just then?" she asked as Miranda handed her her cup of coffee and perched on the bed beside her,

"Nowhere important," Miranda brushed the bangs out of her face and smiled, "I love you darling."

"Oh I know." Andrea leant forward and brushed a kiss to the older woman's mouth, "I love you too."