This was supposed to be a little short which just ran away from me, I feel like it rambles a lot but I can't work out how to fix it and I hate to waist things that I actually manage to type so I'm posting it anyway. The prompt was Affair and I've explored a softer side of Miranda that I don't usually.

This one shot comes with a warning for domestic violence.

Andrea stepped out of the en-suite wrapped in a towel, her hair piled up onto the top of her head in a messy bun. She startled slightly when she found Miranda still in the room, sat elegantly in the wingback chair in the corner of the room in nothing but her robe, her face inscrutable. The brunette tried to ignore her, not sure why she had broken with their usual routine but not really wanting to know either, she needed to leave and she knew that paying the other woman any mind would only hinder her progress. It was very much easier thought than done and she knew that before she even tried, if Miranda Priestly was in a room she demanded the attention of every other person in it, even when she was devoid of make up and wearing only her haphazardly fastened robe. She startled again when the older woman's fingers grazed her bare thigh as she passed to get her clothes and she spun to regard the woman who slowly lifted her head to meet her eyes. The usually clear blue eyes were clouded with what Andrea could only describe as hurt, deep, deep hurt and she reached out to cup a soft, pale cheek.

"Don't," Miranda muttered, her voice as unsure as Andrea had ever heard it as she twisted her head away from the caress, "You need to get ready, it's almost six." And there it was, the reminder that they were on a timer, that this wasn't permanent and the knowledge speared through her like it always did when she was reminded of the rules of their arrangement.

"I can be a few minutes late," she said, falling to her knees in front of the older woman, her hands gliding under the robe to rest high on pale thighs.

"No you can't," Miranda sighed, tipping her head back so she didn't have to look at her, "Nate will be waiting for you, you need to leave." Andrea winced at the roughness in the voice.

"If you wanted me to leave," she murmured, not moving from her position but starting to move her fingers in random patterns over the skin beneath them, "Then why were you sitting here when I cam out of the shower?"

"Because," Miranda puffed out a breath and put her hands over Andrea's to stop them moving any higher, "I didn't want to miss a single moment of this last time."

"Last time. Miranda?" Andrea reached up, bringing the older woman's face to hers and gasped at the tears in blue eyes, "Miranda, what's going on?"

"We can't keep doing this, I can't keep doing this. You need to leave and this needs to end, tonight."

"Miranda I..." she was at a loss, she didn't know where this was coming from, hadn't expected it, she'd thought they were both happy with their arrangement, that things had been working well for both of them, "I don't understand."

"I can't keep doing this Andrea, I can't keep holding out for a few hours with you every few weeks, I can't keep doing this knowing that you are always going to choose to leave and go back to him."

"That's what you wanted, I thought this was working for both of us." she'd moved away from the older woman and was sitting back on her feet, looking into wet blue eyes, she'd never seen Miranda even close to tears before.

"It was," Miranda shrugged, "Until it wasn't. It was until I allowed my feelings to become involved. I allowed myself to feel something I never should have felt and I need to stop it now before it tears me apart" the tears had over flowed now and although the older woman's face remained stoic, her eyes gave everything away when you knew what you were looking for. "I love you Andrea and I can live with knowing that the feeling isn't returned but not if we keep doing this."

"Miranda," she pushed herself up onto her knees and cupped the woman's cheek, whipping the tears away with her thumbs, "I don't want to lose this, it, you, make me happy."

"But darling you don't love me." Miranda said with a sad smile, brushing brunette bangs out of the younger woman's face, "You love Nate and this isn't fair on him, or me, or you."

"I..." did she love Nate? If she did love him would she have found this thing with Miranda so easy to do? She hadn't lied when she had told the older woman that she made her happy, in the beginning it had surprised her, how happy her relationship, if you could call it that, with Miranda made her but she had come to realize that she shouldn't be surprised because there had always been something about the other woman that had attracted her, interested her. But she could be happy with this with Miranda and with Nate couldn't she, she could do both? "I need you in my life Miranda."

"You don't, you might think you do but you don't Andrea. You'll walk away from this and in no time you'll have forgotten all about me and you'll be ok, you'll be happy." It all sounded so final and Andrea felt like she wanted to be sick,

"What about you?"

"I'll carry on like I always do, content in the knowledge that I set you free, that you are living the life you deserve." Miranda leant forward and pressed a kiss to the other woman's forehead, lingering slightly as she committed every nuance of her to memory, "Come now, get dressed, Nate will be waiting."

"Andy. Andy!" she startled slightly at the raised voice and blinked to bring herself back to the moment, focusing on Nate where he was stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

"Sorry, what?" she asked rubbing at her eyes, she was so tired,

"I said Lily and Doug are meeting for drinks, we should go and meet them."

"Oh yeah, ok." she said, trying to force some enthusiasm into her voice though the look on Nate's face told her just how miserably she had failed. It had been weeks since the four of them had gotten together and she knew she should be pleased at the prospect of spending time with them but she was struggling to muster up the enthusiasm for anything much recently.

"Oh say it like you mean it why don't you." he snapped and Andrea wished she could blame him for getting angry, "I don't know what's gotten into you lately but whatever it is I wish you'd snap out of it!"

"Nate, I'm sorry I..." she didn't know what to say, he was right, the last few weeks she had been awful, she was barely sleeping, when she did it was for short periods of time and it was never restful, it was making her snappy and impatient, her work was suffering desperately and now apparently her relationship was too.

Ever since that last night with Miranda she just hadn't been able to pull herself back together. the older woman had kissed her once, sadly, before she left that night and the 'goodbye' she'd murmured as she'd closed the door had sounded so, so final that a crack had appeared in her heart that she didn't think would ever heal, and, true to her word, Miranda had been ignoring her calls and messages ever since.

"Save it Andy, I'm going to go and meet our friends, if you manage to pull your head out of your ass join us, if not, don't wait up." Nate didn't look at her as he gathered his things and left, the door slamming closed was harsh in the silence and she rubbed a hand over her face unsurprised when they came away damp. Something that she had managed to do very well over the last few weeks was cry.

Miranda's words had been circling in her mind ever since that night,

"I love you Andrea,"

"But darling you don't love me. You love Nate and this isn't fair on him, or you, or me."

The words had forced her to step back and take stock and she had felt utterly wretched the moment she had realized what she had been doing. She had been abusing two people's trust, two people's happiness just to make herself happy. The wide eyes and innocent Andy Sachs who had moved to New York with her boyfriend, her sites set on saving the world with her words, would have been mortified at the very idea yet she had done it without giving it a second thought, without even realizing she was doing it. Nate and Miranda deserved better and she more than deserved to be sitting alone in the dark of her apartment, tears leaking slowly from her eyes.

The older woman's words had also made her reconsider her feelings. Andrea had been so sure that Andrea loved Nate and didn't love her, so sure that it was all black and white, but the more Andrea thought about it, the more unsure she was about the facts. She did love Nate, of that she was sure, it was true that it was a different love than she had felt for him at the start, but it was love. He made her feel comfortable and safe, he loved her in his own way and they were happy, weren't they? She knew there were hardly fireworks anymore but they had been together years, it was to be expected, a little less excitement, wasn't it?

And then there was Miranda, and where did you start when it came to Miranda Priestly? Ever since she had met the woman she had caused a stronger than usual reaction in her though to begin with it hadn't all been positive. As she had gotten to know the editor, at least as well as anyone every knew her, her frustration had warped into some kind of understanding. She couldn't pinpoint the time when attraction had been added to the mix, but it hadn't been until she had walked away in Paris that she had given those feelings any kind of attention.

But then, the second time they had met, it had been impossible to ignore the chemistry. They'd been playing the game for almost a year, getting together as often as their schedules allowed. It started out as simply physical, they would meet at an out of the way hotel where Miranda was unlikely to be recognized, spend a few hours together then go their separate ways. But that had all changed one afternoon in November when they had been due to meet but Andrea had come down with the flu and had barely been able to move from bed to the sofa, never mind schlep across the city to a hotel. They'd not seen each other for almost five weeks and when Andrea had called to cancel Miranda had decided that that just wouldn't do. An hour later, Roy had shown up at her apartment under strict instructions to bundle her into the car and deliver her to the townhouse. Unable to argue or to care much what she looked like she'd followed, knowing that putting up a fight would have gotten her nowhere.

She'd been amazed when she arrived at the townhouse where she had been ushered in by a relaxed, for her at least, Miranda and lead into the den where she had been dumped in the corner of the sofa with the most sinfully soft throw, kissed on the forehead and then left alone for a while. She'd been starting to drift off when Miranda had eventually returned laden down with a tray filled with steaming bowls of chicken soup, grilled cheese sandwiches and tea with honey and lemon and her eyes had bugged out even further when she had been handed her food and Miranda had murmured,

"I hope it's ok, it's been a while since the twins have wanted me to make them chicken soup when they are ill."

The afternoon had progressed quietly, they'd talked about the girls, Andrea had dozed, allowed herself to be moved so that she was lying with her head in Miranda's lap, drifted in and out while the older woman stroked her fingers through her hair and talked about everything and nothing. When it came time for Andrea to go home Miranda had insisted on riding with her in the towncar, kissing her forehead lightly and pressing a flask of chicken soup into her hand before she left the car.

Everything had changed after that, they had dinner, they talked, they no longer simply met in hotels. Miranda Priestly made Andrea feel cherished, beautiful, important, she challenged her in ways no one ever had before and Andrea had missed those feelings, missed the woman since the last time they had been together.

Rubbing at her face roughly she sighed and pushed herself to her feet, moving to the bathroom to splash water over her skin. Sitting around thinking wasn't going to make her feel any better. She should go and meet her friends, her boyfriend, get herself back on track, because Miranda had obviously given up on her, and Nate, he deserved better.

It was another month before Andrea saw the older woman again and it happened quite by accident. After a string of successful freelance articles Andrea had begun to receive invitations to some of the smaller journalism events in the city. Up until that point they had all been small enough that she didn't even have to consider the possibility of Miranda being there, knowing that if anyone from Runway was there it would be Nigel or Emily. It made her feel better, knowing that there wasn't a chance that she would bump into the older woman, especially on the nights when Nate accompanied her. When she had received the invite to the New York Journalism Awards she hadn't thought twice about it, it just wasn't the type of invitation you turned down and Nate had that night off work so had agreed to accompany her.

She felt good that night, she'd found a Chanel LBD in the back of her wardrobe that she hadn't worn in a while and although it was several seasons old it didn't look dated, she had hesitated over shoes before pulling a box from the very back of her wardrobe which contained a pristine pair of Blahniks. They had been a gift, shyly presented to her by Miranda for her birthday, but she hadn't dared wear them before. She didn't know why but that night felt like the right night to wear them.

By the time they arrived at the venue she was already to strangle Nate and was wishing she had asked Doug to accompany her instead. Nate had done nothing but pout and complain all the way over, slating everything from the who he thought the other guests would be to the way Andrea herself looked and she'd stopped saying anything knowing that he would take issue with whatever she said. He was like that more often than he wasn't despite how much she was trying to leave Miranda behind and make it work between them, she often wondered why she bothered.

"Why is it always champagne? I bet it's the really cheap stuff too, I just want a beer." He griped, though Andrea didn't miss that he chugged back half of his glass anyway, "We sell better than this at the restaurant."

"Nate for gods sake," she snapped, fighting to keep her voice low, "Can you just pretend that you want to be here, at least for an hour?!"

He managed it for about twenty minutes until the atmosphere in the room changed and Andrea knew without looking exactly what that meant, she felt a slight thrill in the knowledge that the older woman was there while at the same time worrying about the fact she was there with Nate, and then he opened his mouth and confirmed her fears.

"Oh god, look who it is. Isn't that that bitch you worked for at that magazine?!" Andrea wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, the only blessing was that the editor she had been talking to had just taken his leave so she was the only one who heard Nate's tirade. "God she's older than I thought and what's with the hair?"

"Nate," she ground out, taking him firmly by the arm and pulling him into a quiet corner, "Please, why are you being like this tonight? This is my job, these are the people who can make or break me and that includes Miranda."

"She made your life hell Andy, why do you even care what she thinks?" he looked furious and she wished she knew what had gotten into him, "she's a bitch, someone needs to give her a reality check."

"Nate, what is wrong with you? If you didn't want to come tonight all you had to do was say, you've done nothing but be awful since we left the apartment and now Miranda who has done nothing to you, is getting the brunt of your bad mood, you know nothing about her or the work she does."

"I know she made your life hell, almost ended our relationship."

"No Nate, I may not have realised it at the time, but all she ever asked of me was that I do my job properly like any other employer would," she bit out, it wasn't the first time they had gone through this and she doubted it would be the last, "As for our relationship Nate, there are only two people who have the power to ruin it and neither of them are Miranda Priestly."

"When did you drink the kool aid huh?" he snapped and she flinched slightly as the grip he had on her arm tightened, she should have kept better eye on how much he was drinking, "What did she have to do to earn your admiration? What was the price of your soul Andy?"

"Nate, let go of me," she said quietly, his grip only tightened and she knew there would be a bruise in the morning, "Nate."

"What did she give you for your loyalty or are you really as cheap as a single pair of shoes?" He'd pulled her in tighter, his deep definitely bruising and anger flashing in his eyes. Andrea was terrified, terrified that in this room full of important people who could make or break her someone would notice what was going on, terrified that they wouldn't, terrified he would see in her all too expressive eyes exactly what she and Miranda had had, "Oh, oh I see," Nate smirked and she knew she was caught, "So iy wasn't just your soul you sold? Come on, we're leaving."

"Is there a problem here?" no, no, no, Andrea thought, her face dropping so her hair covered her face she didn't have to meet the eyes of the woman who had somehow snuck up on them, the first and last person she wanted to be privy to this. She felt Nate's grip on her arm tighten even further as he pulled her behind him.

"Not at all," he said and Andrea could hear from his tone that he had pasted on a smile.

"Andrea?" there was more than a hint of concern in the usually firm voice and she allowed her eyes to meet familiar blue ones, shaking her head lightly. The older woman looked amazing, furious and amazing. "Nathanial is it? Would you be so kind as to give me five minutes with Andrea?"

"Anything you want to say to Andy you can say in front of me, she's not your assistant anymore lady." Andrea watched the older woman's eyes flash with furry and cowered slightly despite the fact she hadn't been on the receiving end of that look since she was an assistant, Nate was an idiot, a drunk idiot and maybe being chewed out by THE Miranda Priestly would knock him down a peg or two.

"Andrea, come with me please." The older woman said instead and although it was obvious that it wasn't a request the fact that Miranda held out a hand for her was completely out of character. Andrea, blessed with the clarity that she had been desperate for, for months, didn't hesitate, taking the outstretched hand and allowing herself to be led to the older woman's side.

"Oh so it's like that is it?" Nate snapped and Andrea met his eyes, wishing she hadn't when she saw the fury in them, but feeling Miranda's hand in hers gave her the strength she needed to face him without thinking, "You go with her now you don't even think about coming crawling back to me Andy."

"I actually think I can live with that," she said quietly, turning to Miranda with a tremulous smile and taking a deep breath,

"Come Andrea, Roy is waiting."

"Andy, Andy don't you dare walk away from me!" she didn't turn around, didn't react, she did what Miranda had taught her and held her head high, paid no one any mind even though on the inside she was shaking.

By the time they slid into the back of the waiting town car Andrea was visibly shaking and there were silent tears falling down her cheeks. She was barely aware of the car pulling away from the curb, only of Miranda's arm wrapping around her shoulder and pulling her into her side.

"It's ok Andrea, I've got you, you're ok." She murmured, running her hands soothingly up and down her bare arms, "You're ok, he can't hurt you, you're safe now ok, you're safe."

Andrea had no idea how long they drove around, only aware of the fact that it was far longer than it would have taken to get to either of their homes. Miranda never stopped murmuring comforting words and stroking her back and arms, occasionally brushing a kiss to the top of a brunette head and for the first time since they had been together last Andrea felt at peace and that alone gave her the answers that she had been craving for weeks.

Nate's violent streak never got any worse than a bruising hold and an equally bruising verbal battering and it happened rarely but every time it did she was terrified that it would be the time that he pushed further and she was convinced that that night, had Miranda not intervened, things would have gone much further. Each time it happened she knew she should end it, that she should walk away, but she did love Nate in her own way even if she wasn't in love with him. When things were good he was attentive and caring but she found herself waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the temper to return. She hadn't felt safe with Nate for a very long time but in the back of the town car with Miranda she felt safer than she ever had before.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, trying to push herself upright, stopped by a gentle hand on her back urging her to stay where she was.

"You have nothing to apologise for darling." Miranda said quietly, brushing her fingers through the younger woman's hair

"I made a scene at an event, I dragged you away from the same event, I've also not given you any reason to be nice to me or help me." Andrea said quietly, pushing herself upright and turning so she could face Miranda fully for the first time. She was pleased to find herself face to face with the relaxed features of the woman she had come to know and not the Editor in Chief known to the rest of the world. She watched the other woman lean forward and rap her knuckles on the privacy screen before settling back into her seat and taking Andrea's hand.

"You didn't make a scene, that was all Nathanial. I watched you pull him away from the crowds and try to control the situation. I'm afraid that if either one of us caused a scene back there it was me."

"You were watching me?" for some reason Andrea's brain had stuck on that fact and disregarded the rest of the sentence.

"Of course I was, you look beautiful tonight Andrea and the last month hasn't changed how I feel for you." Miranda smiled sadly, "And I couldn't, wouldn't stand by and wait to see what he did next."

"I've missed you," Andrea said quietly, squeezing the hand that held hers and pulling it into her lap, "I kept trying to tell myself that I could make it work with Nate, that that's what I was supposed to do but..."

"Hush, not tonight." Miranda said gently as the car came to a stop and she heard Roy climbing out of the front seat to open Miranda's door, "Come in, let me look after you, we'll talk tomorrow, I promise."

Andrea woke slowly, stretching luxuriously under the sinfully soft sheets of Miranda's bed. She'd slept better that night than she had in weeks and she felt fully rested and ready to face whatever changes the goings on of the previous night threw at her. Cracking her eyes open she smiled when she found Miranda sat up beside her looking through the book.

"Morning," she said quietly, curling so her cheek was pressed against the other woman's hip,

"Morning darling," Miranda looked down at her with a smile, putting the book on the bedside table before wiggling down in the bed so they were face to face, "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a while, thank you." Andrea smiled, throwing her arm over the other woman's waist and pulling their bodies closer together, "Miranda?"

"Yes Andrea?"

"I love you." The smile that broke across the older woman's face was breath taking and Andrea could feel her own lips stretching into an equally wide smile,

"You love me?"

"I love you, I tried not to, I tried to ignore it and I thought I had until last night, but seeing you again, being near you again, made me realise that ignoring it wasn't making me happy, it was making me miserable, I don't want to be miserable any more Miranda."

"I love you Andrea," Miranda leant in and brushed their lips lightly together, "And I'll try to prevent you being miserable for as long as I live if you'll let me." the kiss they shared then was deep and loving, filled with all of the things they had been keeping bottled up for the last month, Andrea sank into the kiss, wrapping her arms around the other woman and finally she knew that she was home.