I was happy to be with my brother and with Emily, but the homesickness had started to overtake me a few hours after I got home.

There had always been a nagging feeling that people always manipulated me. I did what everyone wanted me to do. If I refused, I was called strange. Beaten up, even. I had experienced a lot of that treatment in my hometown. I had been struggling to keep up with demands from my "friends".

The pressure had just caught up with me and one day I stopped. I stopped the drugs, the drinking, the clubbing. They hated the fact that I'd stopped listening to them. As if I was expendable, they cast me out. Everyone started ignoring me. Talking about me behind my back, too.

Truthfully, I hadn't even liked them. Nobody liked them, but they still ruled the school.

Yet, I still hung out with them.

"Bi, are you alive back there?" Sam asked sarcastically. I looked from my position staring at the window to stare at the drivers seat.

"Yep, I'm still kicking," I said with a small smile.

I stuck my hand into the bag of chips on my lap, popping two into my mouth. I crunched on them quietly as I waited for us to arrive at our destination.

"Bi, you'll be enrolled in school soon," Emily said. "You're in twelfth grade, right?"

I nodded my head in between chews and covered my mouth as I spoke, "Yeah."

"Okay," she replied. I crumpled the empty bag in my hands and stuffed it into my coat pocket. The crunching sound bothered me, so i quickly zipped up my pocket and left it there.

I already knew we had arrived when I heard the quiet sound of waves crashing against the cliffs. The sound was comforting and distantly familiar. Though I had not been here in years, it felt like home. I spent a great deal of time at the beach when I lived in La Push as a kid.

I unbuckled my seat belt and slid carefully out of the door that Sam had opened for me. My legs felt like numb even though it was a very short ride. They were long, and had been cramped behind Sam's seat that had been accomodated for his long legs.

"Sam, you are immortal," he looked at me like I was crazy. So did Emily. "My legs are aching and yours are longer than mine."

I wanted to ask why he had become so on edge at my words, but kept my mouth shut. It was something I had grown used to, thinking but never telling. I went along with whatever was thrown at me.

The first thing I notices when I looked at my surroundings was the men running around, playing soccer and fooling around on the beach. I squinted my eyes as I walked next to Sam, trying to get a better look at them. Then I noticed something.

They were all my age. And they were all huge.

My brother was huge. It wasn't like I hadn't seen a tall guy before, but about ten of them were just there, intimidating as all hell. I had never really liked tall guys; they made me feel like I was tinier than I actually was. Swamped, even.

I put my head down just enough to fumble in my pockets for a piece of gum. My hand barely brushed the cigarette packet next to the gum, but I still pulled my hand out as fast as I could. I barely noticed that I hadn't gotten the gum I was after.

The first thing Sam did when we got to the sand was greet everyone. There was no reason that I should have been following Emily and "helping" her cook by "taste testing", but I felt so out of place that I wanted to stay by her. It was hard enough being swamped by a brood of gigantic men. I didn't particularly want to seem awkward in front of anyone.

A girl I did not recognize was flipping about fifty burgers on a grill, which was making me drool. She smiled at me and my mind registered something. We only had about sixteen people in total here . . . so fifty burgers . . .

"Emily, are we going to need that many hamburgers?" I asked curiously.

She nodded. "The boys eat a lot."

If only I had known what she meant by a lot.

The second we were called for dinner the boys rushed towards the food. I was suddenly trapped in a swarm of sweaty, bronze chests. I felt swamped in the huddle of huge bodies. They made me feel as if I was only five foot tall.

Suddenly, I had been grabbed and placed on the outside of the sweaty circle. I looked gratefully at my brother who had piled his multiple plates high with food. He handed me one with two burgers on it. My stomach shrunk at the thought of two giant burgers.

He smiled mid-bite, chewed, and swallowed. "It's all good if I introduce you, right?"

I nodded at him, taking a bite of my own burger. He took my arm and led me over to a log that was sat in the sand and pulled me down. I grinned at him.

"I hope you know I'm probably not going to eat all of this," I said, still grinning.

He shrugged. "Whatever you don't eat, I'll take."

I shuddered. How did his stomach take in all that food without making him sick?

I nodded at him slowly but surely.

Sam didn't bother with formal introductions, of which I was glad. The men were all eating like pigs, I noticed, and most likely were not in the mood for formalities in the middle of their meal.

"Guys, this is Bianca, my little sister." I tucked myself a little farther into my sweatshirt. "Bianca, these are my friends. Jacob, Embry, Paul, Rachel, Leah," Leah glaRed. "Brady, Colin, Jared, Kim, Quil, and Seth. In that exact order."

I squinted my eyes and pointed to each of them. "Jacob, Embry, Paul, Rachel, Leah, Brady, Colin, Jared, Kim, Quil, and Seth." Each nodded. I was impressed with myself for remembering the names. The challenge would be remembering them longterm.

I noticed each personality as I went along. Most were happy, except for two, which I took immediate interest to. Leah and Jacob had the sourest expressions on their faces. They looked as if someone forced them to come to the bonfire.

"I didn't know Sam had such a hot little sister," One of the boys marveled. Sam glared and I heard a sound of warning in his throat. The kid laughed, clearly trying to irritate him. I could not remember his name even though I had just repeated them. He was the one sitting next to Brady.

I got up suddenly, a putrid feeling overtaking my body. I felt dirty when he called me attractive. It had never happened before and i was confused as I fumbled for something in my pocket. Cigarettes.

I barely looked enough to the side to see Em's confused face at my reaction.

"I'm going to . . . um, go smoke quickly," I whispered to Sam.

"You don't smoke," he said incredulously.

"I have been for quite a while," I answered him, grabbing the pack out of my pocket and lighting my cigarette as I walked to the far end of the beach. I let the smoke calm me. It swirled into an intricate white pattern into the air. And I felt as though i was swirling back in time, to some place that I couldn't control myself.

The smallest thing could make me reach for a cigarette. I tried quitting multiple times, but relapsed back into smoking soon enough. It was insidious. It sat meaninglessly in my pocket, but the second I got angry or started to get nervous, one was back in my hand.

I took one more puff before squashing it in the sand with my foot. I didn't need it anymore. It served its purpose.

I let my hand protectively rest on the pack of cigarettes as I walked. I didn't know why, but I felt calmer with my hand over it. It was hardly of use to me at the moment, but yet it was my savior. Something i could rely on to comfort me when nobody else would.

"Sorry."

I looked incredulously at the boy who had spoken before.

"You did nothing wrong. I've just got a bad addiction," I said, shaking my head. Sam was looking at me, clearly glaring at his back. "Sam, stop glaring. I'm fine," I added quickly, glancing at him.

"It's nice to meet you all," I spoke cheerfully. "I'll give you a proper introduction. I'm Bianca Uley, I have an addictive personality and a giant older brother."

I turned and smiled at . . .

I searched my head for a name. Jacob.

I cocked my head curiously at him. He was glaring at me, his face pained. I looked to Sam for some kind of answer or any flicker of recognition. Sam looked lividly past me and at Jacob.

"Jacob?" Sam asked, speaking through his teeth. "I need to talk to you."

Sam got up and grabbed Jacob roughly by the arm. It reminded me of a child who had just gotten in trouble with their parent; angry, and being pulled along.

I wanted to tell shout for Sam to come back, but was aware of gazes on me. I tilted my head so that a sheet of hair came over my face. I was barely aware of two people coming to stand behind me.

"Bi, we're going to go to the house with Kim and Rachel. We can hang out there," she said quietly, tugging out of my seat and along towards the car. I saw Kim and Rachel move to kiss their boyfriends, then jog to catch up with us.

I sat in the back with Kim, while Emily sat in the front with Rachel. Kim was very quiet, but I heard her talk to me once when we were close to Sam's house. She barely mouthed sorry, of which I replied to by looking at her incredulously. Kim had nothing to be sorry for.

A while later, I shook my head. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry," her mouth twisted into a frown. "You guys probably would've had a great night of I wasn't there-"

Rachel turned around in her seat. "I don't mean to offend you, but shut up. If some boys hadn't been such asses, maybe we would've had a good night."

Emily joined in after that statement. "There's just some things those boys get into that they shouldn't. You're alright, Bi. You did nothing wrong."

I laid my head back on the headrest and sighed. "Why was Jacob staring at me like that, then? Why was Sam angry at him?"

"Boy stuff," Emily answered. Kim nodded at me.

"Okay," I said quietly.

There was more to it, I knew it. It wasn't my business exactly, though, and I didn't feel like prying and getting myself into trouble. Whenever someone made my brother take them somewhere, there had to be a reason. I saw it in Sam's eyes. The hate and angry was that had filled them meant there was something more to the situation. Something big.

Emily parked the car in front of the house, and we all walked in. I immediately went for the couch and sat down. The three girls sat behind me. I learned that Rachel was Jacob's sister. Her last name was black and she was fresh out of high-school, graduating just a year before this semester.

I also learned that Kim was an only child and an excellent student. Her last name was Ashford, her dad was famous around here for his writing, and she wanted to be a writer as well. She was currently in my grade, but was thinking about graduating early because of her over achievements. After that, she was staying with Jared on the reservation.

I gave a simple synopsis of my life. I mentioned how I was in my last year of school, came from Spokane, and wasn't fond of school. It was nothing new. I had never been an overachiever, never wanted to graduate early, and never had a reliable boyfriend.

To my surprise, they didn't look disappointed I had nothing interesting about me like people in Spokane would have done. It was unsettling how I had been welcomed. I was just Sam's little sister, and nothing else. These girls had no reason to come talk and hang out with me. They may be friends with Emily, but had never met me before. Yet, they seemed as if we had been friends for years.

Nevertheless, I let it go on and kept talking. At least I was having some kind of fun on my first day. It would be good to make friends early into my stay so I didn't get dumped again.