When I was little I used to love to twirl. I'd spend hours circling my living room, spinning around and giggling. My mother never quite understood why. Sometimes I'd do it for a half hour at a time until I'd get too dizzy to do it anymore. I told her I liked the feeling of not knowing what was going to happen next. Which didn't make any sense because I was the one who chose the direction, the speed, the act itself. So there should have been no surprises. And yet I felt like there was. Like there was a higher power that was commanding my feet and propelling me forward. When really I was control of everything all along.

Sitting back in my bed, I adjusted my headband and sighed. All of my roommates, and most of my housemates for that matter, were gone at some Pureblood function. I always loved when they had them because I had the whole dorm to myself and most of them stayed gone the rest of the weekend so there was never any risk of them barging back in. I usually would put on my facemask, get in my sweats and just lay on my bed. I'd perhaps put on some classical music or something soothing for the background and pretend I was at my own personal spa. Of course after a while I'd wash my face and read or do something else, but it always started with spending hours upon hours just being blissfully alone. No roommates glaring or snarling at me. No possibly of being hexed. Just peace.

That peace was wonderful until it hit me it had been a week since I'd last seen Regulus. I'd spent those peaceful hours not relaxing or getting some essential me time but sitting there, worrying that I'd done the wrong thing.

Yes, I knew it would bite me in the ass but it was kind of anti-climatic when it didn't. No one had caught us together. There was no epic dramatic show down. We had sex... more than once and then I didn't hear from him again.

If it were July and we were staying on a beach it would have been a fleeting summer fling that had run it's course. Like what most romance books are written after. But it was the middle of October and I still had to see him every single day.

I knew he couldn't have possibly fancied me. He barely knew me let alone knew me well enough to have more than feelings of pure attraction. But I had let him have it. Mostly because I didn't want to think he was playing me but also because for once it was nice to hear.

I'd never been the girl that thought that there were any type of girls. I would never say I was not 'that' type of girl. But I would say that men typically weren't interested in me. Sure a few had been attracted and I'd made many male friends in my life. But men generally didn't look at me the way Jack looked at Jocelyn.

It hadn't really bothered me much. There were times were it had; school dances, summer parties where everyone would pair off. But mostly it was brief feeling. I was focused on the future. I told myself I would be a professional Quidditch player with not enough time on my hands to date or be worked up over any of it. And I was sure that would be true. Trainning alone was intense and time consuming let alone playing year around. But my greatest fear wasn't not having a boyfriend. Anyone can pick up a boyfriend. It's like going to the store and picking up a snack. My greatest fear was eventually when I couldn't hop on a broom anymore and all of my friends were busy with their kids and grandkids I would become my dad. Lonely.

I'd find a day job and that would be it. Nothing new to report when I'd see my old friends. Nothing new to feel. I just would settle into being lonely. The difference was my dad had been in love and had an interesting life.

My father, Benjamin Lucas Vanity, was born while my grandparents were traveling abroad. My grandparents were young and free spirited. They had spent years saving money to travel and when they discovered they were pregnant they decided to go through with it anyway. He spent the first decade of his life living place to place, learning about other cultures and trying new things that he would have never gotten the chance to if they would have stayed in England.

By the time he got his letter to Hogwarts they'd come back and made a home in Scotland. He'd learned six or seven languages and had a truly unique childhood which only became more interesting when he discovered that he hadn't been imagining the lights changing colors or his things shifting when he thought about cleaning up. My father said his parents were baffled when they took him to Diagon Alley but it only followed the path that they'd already raised him to go down.

So he went to Hogwarts was sorted into Ravenclaw and was amazed. He would often explore the castle and read everything he could on all forms of magic. Like his parents, he always looked out for new experiences and any knowledge he could get. By his sixth year he had a few friends but mostly he kept to himself until one day he was tutoring this girl. When he first told me the story I didn't know he was talking about my mum. He said that he had just been finishing his last tutoring session when this girl walked in and begged him to stay longer and help her with her History of Magic homework. At the time my father was irritated because he'd been tutoring for hours and found it odd that a Pureblooded girl would have trouble knowing her own history but he still stayed.

My mother admitted that she knew History of Magic and was getting an E but she wanted an excuse to talk to my father. She'd noticed him leaving the library often, his arms filled with books and thought it was adorable how interested he was in seemingly everything. She said she'd never met anyone so invested in things. Pureblood's mostly were bored with everything because everything was beneath them. But my father had a passion for life and my mother couldn't help but be smitten with that. My father always said it took him a couple of weeks to realize that she knew the answers and was just there to spend time with him. But once he realized it they'd start meeting in secret. Snogging under trees, late night walks across the grouns. She said every man she'd ever met saw her as a trophy. Another Pureblooded woman to put on their mantel. A girl of the sacred 28 but my father was the only one that saw her as Cecilia, the sixteen year old girl that loved Herbology and stealing his old man sweaters.

They'd spent every moment they could together. Even on summer break she'd sneak away and meet him. He said he knew she was the one when they danced for the first time outside an old coffee shop by his house. He'd gotten a ring and he proposed to her after a year of being together while they were still in school.

Of course all hell broke loose.

My mother was my grandparents only child. There were other Fawley's but they only had my mum. And they weren't going to let her marry a muggleborn. There was a fight. My father barely made it out of there but he never gave up on her or walked away. They got married, my mother was disowned and my father was blackballed from ever getting a high level job but they didn't care. Even when my mother died he never showed an ounce of regret because he loved my mother and that was more than enough for him.

Ever since my father would sit at a desk job, with a picture of my mother on his desk and a wedding ring prominantly on his finger with no regard to the future because of how throughly he lived in the past.

So he may be lonely. He may be trapped in the past but he did live once. And my greatest fear was that that wouldn't be something I'd be able to say about myself. That I would never have that fire or that feeling about anything.

Fiddling with my the edge of my bedspread, I started slide farther down the bed. I wished I were Dorcas or Jocelyn. Dorcas who lived every breath and gave everything her all. Jocelyn who was fueled by innovation and already found the person she would like to be next to in the nursing home.

And then there was me. What would I be doing in five years? In ten? How long would my career last? Most professionals lasted 15 years max maybe 20 if they stayed in phenomenal shape.

Turning over I was about to get up and wash my face when I saw Regulus Black standing next to me.

"OH FUCK!" I screamed, clasping a hand over my heart.

"Sorry." He mumbled, raising his hands.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

He would have seen me flush but it was at that moment I realized I was still wearing my frog colored face mask. Embarassed but stubborn I didn't jump to wipe it off. Instead I moved to sit back up.

"Why? Shouldn't you be at that thing?" I asked, noticing he was wearing a suit jacket and dress pants.

God, he was so fit.

He shifted a little closer, a small smile working onto his face as his eyes shifted over my face mask. "I left early."

"Well." I snorted, gesturing to myself. "I'm sure this puts you right in the mood."

He sat down next to me in the limited space, his cologne washed over me almost rudely. "Eh."

I laughed. "Eh?"

"You're still... alright."

I shook my head, a laugh still fresh on my lips and pushed him. He caught my hand and smiled down at me. Again I should have asked what he was doing there. I should have told him so many things but I didn't care enough to.

He made me laugh. And even if he went another week without coming within a foot of me it was worth it to feel something for a few moments.

"Are you going to kiss me while I look like this?" I teased, perking my lips up at him.

He laughed, shaking slightly. "No." Regulus stood up, went into the bathroom and came back with a wet wash cloth. Before I could say anything he started wiping it off my face.

I giggled and it only got worse when after he'd finish a section he'd kiss the freshly cleaned area. "What are you doing?"

"Helping." He smirked, wiping my face until it was completely clean.

"You're so weird."

Regulus shrugged unconcernedly before he placed the washcloth on my side table and kissed me. It was a long lingering kiss. Filled with all of the days it had been since the last time since he touched me. I leaned into it instinctively.

I wondered if he had told himself he was done and came back. I wondered if this was just the first opportunity he had or if he was standing at the ball and decided he wanted a repeat. Either way I wasn't asking. If I didn't ask he could be there for whatever reason I deemed fit and in that moment I needed that leeway.

His hands pushed down my sweatpants quickly. I expected him to get my top off or start undressing himself. I didn't expect his hand to shoot down my knickers and start stroking my clit clockwise.

Gasping, I drew back from his lips, shivering. It was clear by the look on his face that he wasn't planning any of this. Regulus shifted down and pressed his forehead to mine so our breaths mixed together. I bucked into his hand, my hand locked onto his arm to keep him from drawing back as I grew closer and closer.

How many times had I pictured this when I was doing it to myself? How many times did I wish he would show up and do it for me?

Regulus leaned down and sucked down on my bottom lip. He pulled back, his eyes boring into mine. "Cum."

I looked up at him and said. "No."

"What?"

"You have to make me." I retorted, my grip relaxing on his arm.

He didn't seem to know what to say for a second and I worried he would pull back and leave. But he didn't. Instead he said, "Fine," and started kissing down my stomach.

If I had been surprised before it was nothing compared to how surprised I was to feel his tongue trace down my body. Arching into his mouth, I covered my mouth when his hand started moving again.

His head snapped up, he took my hand off my mouth and whispered huskily. "No. You don't get to be quiet after that."

Whimpering, I nodded eagerly, watching as his lips dropped back down to my lower abs just above where his hand was working into me. My hips started to rise without my permission. Tightening and flexing, I felt a dark ache grow between my thighs that I distantly recognized but had never felt this intensely before. Just when I thought I was going to explode, his mouth replaced his hand and I was shattered.

I'd felt something different when we had sex. That had been intense but this... This built differently and took over my entire body until I fell a part. When I came down, I was still panting and trying to get a grip when I saw him staring at me. Words were useless. Leaning up, I grabbed his tie and dragged him down on top of me. My mouth attacked his without any mercy or patience. I unbuttoned his shirt, pushed his jacket off but left on his tie. I liked having something that I could use to keep him close.

Peeling off his belt and working on his pants, he pushed me back to lift up my t-shirt. When he discovered I was braless he let out a mixture of lust and frustration. His lips left mine and sought out my chest. His tongue was relentless against my peaks, sharpening and softening on a whim.

"God." I mumbled, sliding my hands into his hair and locking onto it, pushing him harder against me.

He growled at that and finished what I had started with his pants. Regulus muttered the spell and I expected him to go right for it but he had other ideas. He flipped us over so I was on top of him. I in turn gripped his tie and tugged him to sit up. The flash of arousal on his face from this was palpable. If I was going to be on top he was going to be sitting up, involved in the process. I gripped his tie, smirking when I saw him fight the urge to show how much he enjoyed that.

"Oh no. You don't get to hold back after that." I taunted him, stroking my other hand up and down his length. At one point I grazed him against my entrance but I didn't push him in. Not yet.

"Emma." Regulus hissed, gritting his teeth.

"Oh, do you want something?" I continued for a second before lining him up and sinking down on him quicker than he anticipated.

His hands took hold of my hips, clenching when he was all the way inside of me. I arched against him, letting out a shallow sigh. Taking hold of his shoulders, I spread my legs wider to take him even deeper and started rocking against him. Every time I glanced up his eyes were either on mine or tracing down my body. No one had ever looked at me like that before. I moved even faster.

It didn't take long at all for us to reach the edge. When we did he buried his face in my neck, his fingers digging into my back and I clawed into his shoulders.

My body was spent and I couldn't catch my breath. I had gone for a jog earlier, four miles but that was nothing compared to sex with him. It took every ounce of energy and left nothing left. Sliding off of him, I dropped down onto the bed. I didn't bother to get dressed right away. He'd already seen everything and the minute I had the energy I was going to shower anyway.

"Do we have practice tomorrow?" He asked, pulling up his boxers.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "No."

"You have plans tomorrow?"

"...No."

He turned on his side and said. "Want to do something?"

"Something like what we just did or other kinds of something?"

"... I mean... ideally both." He laughed.

I smiled. "Yeah... okay."

"Okay."

"You going to sneak out now?"

"It's not really sneaking when no one's around." Regulus said but he didn't move.

I asked, curiously. "What do you people even do at your little events?"

"There's food, dancing."

"You dance?"

He smiled. "Depends on the partner."

"Did you dance tonight? Perhaps with your little best friend Alecto."

He groaned and nudged me.

"You can be honest here. I will just completely and entirely judge you." I teased.

Regulus took my blanket it and covered me while he said. "I slipped out before she could make another move."

"And you came here."

He nodded.

"Good choice really."

Regulus laughed, leaning down to kiss me. He kept it brief and shifted back but stayed close. My teasing tone left at how close he was to me. I had to know. I had to understand.

"Why did you come?"

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you all week... I tried to stop. You were right. It was stupid and ridiculous but..."

"But?"

"I don't know. I was coming back to go back to bed and I found myself walking over here."

Biting my lip, I said. "Is it because you can't have me? You were in a roomful of girls you could be caught with no consequences."

"Are you psycoanalyzing me?"

"I'm trying to understand why you're doing this. This makes sense for me but not for you."

"How so?" He asked, leaning on his arm.

"You're hot. You're not an idiot and ... that's really it."

"I could say the same to you."

I gave him a look. "You have a bit of a wider pool to pull from than I do."

"Maybe I don't want to snog a girl that sees it a means to an end."

"As someone that has snogged you I guarantee you no one would ever think that."

He snorted and gave me a look. "You know what I mean. They all want a husband that's wealthy and I fit the bill. If I looked like Avery most of them would still be after me. But you wouldn't."

"So I'm shallow but not with wealth."

"No you just have standards. They would fuck Avery even though he's repulsive, not just looks wise but how sleazy and gross he is. You wouldn't."

"I'm sure some of them wouldn't either."

"Are you trying to talk me out of this?"

"No. I'm just telling you I'm not special and making sure one of us is thinking this through." I told him flatly. "You asked me on a date... That entitles me to some questions."

"Okay... Elizabeth Yaxley, she's pretty, smart and she would date me even if I was at Avery's level but not if I had his personality. Alecto is ..." He moved on. "Clara Rosier wouldn't marry me if I was at Avery's level but would if I had his personality. Alexandra Nott-"

"What are you doing?"

He said. "I'm listing every girl I could concievably date and how they would react to what you just said."

"To prove?"

"That I don't care about any of that. I only want to date you."

I flushed, and ducked my head for a second before replying. "Okay but you have to care about some of it."

"Some of it yeah but I think I'd like you even if you were a Pureblood and there was no conflict of interest."

"Why?"

"I just do."

I wanted more than that. I wanted a History of Magic length paper on why me but I didn't need it. After all he could turn the same things around on me like he did a moment earlier. There were reasons why I liked him but he could reason I only liked him was because I wasn't supposed to either. I said why didn't he go after another girl at the dance but at the same time why didn't I ask Jocelyn or Dorcas to set me up with someone? Surely one of them could introduce me to someone less complicated. But I didn't and until that moment I hadn't even thought to do so.

We were just two people who were attracted to each other and even more attracted to the fact that we shouldn't be.

I leaned in. "So what are we doing tomorrow?"

A slow smirk grew on his face. "I'm not telling you."

"Cryptic again." I slipped my arm around him and dragged him over to kiss me. "And there's nothing I can do to convince you to tell me?" I whispered against his lips.

"Nope." He replied, deepening the kiss. "Come on... Show me the shower..."

I groaned, stood up and took his hand. "If you're lucky... I'll let you borrow my face mask."

He laughed, ushered me into the shower.

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