Author's Notes: Here's another one for you! This chapter and the next have been the two most difficult ones to write. But I didn't give up, got lots of good advice from my betas and finally cracked it.

In other news I have fanart! I actually have FANART. You can check it out on my Tumblr. Link is on my profile.

As always, thank you for the reviews! Every review is treasured!

Betas: Sumiregusa (thank you for your great advice on this chapter and writing in general) and Animaniacal (was a massive help in this chapter and helping with the dialogue. Thanks so so so much.)
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki. Persuasion is in the public domain, but was written by Jane Austen.

Chapter 15

When they came to the steps, leading upwards from the beach, a gentleman,
at the same moment preparing to come down, politely drew back,
and stopped to give them way. They ascended and passed him;
and as they passed, Anne's face caught his eye, and he looked at her
with a degree of earnest admiration, which she could not be insensible of.
She was looking remarkably well; her very regular, very pretty features,
having the bloom and freshness of youth restored by the fine wind
which had been blowing on her complexion, and by the animation of eye
which it had also produced. It was evident that the gentleman,
(completely a gentleman in manner) admired her exceedingly.
Captain Wentworth looked round at her instantly in a way which
shewed his noticing of it. He gave her a momentary glance,
a glance of brightness, which seemed to say, "That man is struck with you,
and even I, at this moment, see something like Anne Elliot again." - Persuasion, Jane Austen

Kaoru woke at her normal time, despite being up late the previous night tending to both Aoshi and Kenshin's wounds. She stretched and sat up, noticing that Misao's bed was still empty. Kaoru assumed that the younger girl had spent the night by Aoshi's side. Seeing Akiko still passed out, Kaoru quickly dressed in her kimono. She knew Akiko would be sleeping most of the morning away as she dealt with the hangover induced from her antics the night before.

The inn was quiet as Kaoru headed back down the hall towards the room where Aoshi was. She opened the door slowly and looked inside. Aoshi was still lying prone in the middle of the floor, with Misao curled up by his side. Kaoru entered the room and shut the door. Hearing the soft click, Misao woke up, and seeing Kaoru there, gave her a weak smile as she rubbed her eyes.

"Morning." Kaoru whispered as she came close. Misao sat up and stifled a yawn into her hand.

"How is he?" asked Kaoru. She pulled back the blanket covering Aoshi's chest and looked at the bandages. They were still clean and in place. Aoshi was sleeping, and seemed more at ease then the night before.

"He hasn't woken up yet." Concern was evident in Misao's voice.

"He will, he just needs time," Kaoru gave Misao an encouraging look.

"I'm sorry I never told you," said Misao.

"About what?"

"The Oniwabanshu. Aoshi-sama. All of this," Misao said with uncharacteristic reserve.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it, and I promise, I won't say anything to the others."

"Thank you, I don't know if they would understand." Kaoru smiled, not pushing Misao, but the younger girl continued anyways. "I didn't believe it at first, that Aoshi-sama would do the horrible things Himura said he did. But when I confronted him, he admitted to all of it, with no regret or remorse. He was the best of the Oniwabanshu, and yet he's fallen so far."

Misao pushed the hair off his face tenderly and it was obvious to Kaoru that Misao felt more for this mysterious man than just friendship. Kaoru looked away, made slightly uncomfortable by Misao's affectionate gesture.

"You should go get cleaned-up," Kaoru suggested, gesturing at Misao's clothes that were still covered in dirt. Seeing the slight alarm in her face, Kaoru continued. "I'll stay with Aoshi."

"Thank you." Misao stood and left the room, leaving Kaoru alone with the still sleeping man. Light from the early morning sun filtered through the window, and Kaoru could clearly examine Aoshi's features. He was handsome, but even while he was sleeping, Kaoru could clearly see that there was a sternness about him.

Kaoru busied herself, rearranging some of the medical supplies that Sano had gathered the night before. She heard some rustling and turned around to see Aoshi stirring.

"Where is Misao," came the strained question, as Aoshi tried to sit up.

"Wait, don't move. She'll be back." Kaoru gently pushed Aoshi back down. Cool blue eyes met hers, and Kaoru could see the sharpness in them.

"Who are you?" Aoshi asked.

"My name is Kamiya Kaoru. I'm a friend of Misao's."

"Last night…you were there."

"Yes, I was asked to help you."

"I…need to go." He tried to sit up again, and grimaced, the wound on his chest making it hard for him to move.

"No, you need to rest and recover." Kaoru pushed Aoshi down, and after he realized how weak he was, he relented, and laid back down again. Aoshi turned his head away, clearly falling prey to his dark thoughts.

"I'm sorry… for all you've suffered," Kaoru offered, trying to break the silence. "For your men. They did not deserve what happened." Despite what he had done, Kaoru did feel sorry for Aoshi.

"I do not need your pity," came the harsh reply.

Kaoru felt her temper rise at his sharp tone. His reaction was understandable , but she was not going to treated like that. She took a breathe to calm herself. "I'm not offering you pity."

"Then what are you offering? Guidance?" He said the last word with derision.

"Perhaps; it seems like you need it," Kaoru began, knowing that losing her temper at the injured man was not in his best interest. "If you are feeling guilty for what happened then there are people who are here to help you. Like Misao. She cares for you a great deal."

Aoshi didn't say anything to that, and they sat in silence for a few moments. Kaoru checked over his bandages and Aoshi grudgingly submitted. After helping him take a sip of water he finally spoke.

"You should go."

"I made a promise to Misao that I would stay with you."

"Promises," Aoshi said bitterly, almost laughing. "I've made promises too. To those who died so I could live." Aoshi met her eyes, and behind the coldness she could see a deep sadness, one that stretched down into his very core. "What good are promises in a world without meaning? Without justice."

Kaoru didn't know what to say to that. She sat for a moment, thinking on his words. "Then what drove you to act as you have?" she finally asked.

"I vowed to make this cruel world remember that the Oniwabanshu are the strongest. That…is the one promise I still believe in. If I crawled enough through the underbelly of the world, I knew I would find those that are the strongest. And I would defeat them, to honour my comrades. And I did. I fought and I killed. I did unspeakable things. I was not fit for anything else." He started coughing, having apparently spoken for too long. Kaoru gave him another drink of water.

Once she was finished, Aoshi fixed her with his cold stare. Kaoru found she could not look away, her mind still trying to understand him, understand what had driven him to such depths of despair and pain.

Finally, he continued. "Do you know what the Battousai said to me? He told me to 'wake up', that my men would hate who I'd become. That I was living a lie. Where…where does he get the right. That murderer, lecturing me."

Kaoru spoke up and interrupted Aoshi before he could continue speaking harshly about Kenshin. "He is right. Are you really honouring their memory by dragging yourself further into despair? No matter how much you hate or how much you suffer, you cannot bring back the dead. The dead…merely want happiness for the living; that is all you can give them. Would they really want you to forsake yourself, and those that still live?"

"I do not deserve forgiveness from the living."

"But you must hope for it. Misao will forgive you, I think she already has. But you must also forgive yourself. The past is set…it doesn't matter."

"What do you know about past regrets? About death? About loss?" Aoshi said cruelly, turning his head away from her again.

At that, Kaoru snapped, and slammed her fists down on the tatami. Her eyes burned with the anger and sadness that had dwelled inside her for the past eight years, hidden behind her sense of duty.

"I know what it is like to live with disappointment." She cried, her voice shaking as she spilled out her feelings to the still stoic man in front of her. "I've lost my mother and recently, my father. I've lost my home, the home that has been in my family for generations…" She felt her anger dispersing, as other thoughts emerged, thoughts that dimmed her rage and reminded her that the man in front of her was suffering from wounds even deeper than her own. "And… I know what it is to lose the most important person to you forever, through no fault but your own."

Aoshi turned back towards Kaoru then, keenly listening to her. She continued on, keeping a closer rein on her feelings.

"I know loss. But I don't… I can't let it define me. I hope that one day I can be forgiven for my mistakes. I work hard every day to right those mistakes that have been made. I live for today, for what I can do each day to move on, and take action for good, despite what cruelties the world may throw my way."

She met Aoshi's eyes, and he looked away again. She continued. "All I have right now is hope, but it's the most powerful thing that I know."

When Aoshi spoke next, his voice was muted, though still tight. "I did not mean to speak so cavalierly. I just assumed, you being young, and a woman…"

"It is alright. I know I have been spared much hardship, such as you have seen, being through such conflict… But, it would do well for you to remember… everyone has one or two things in their past that they don't wish to talk about."

Kaoru heard a squeak along the wooden floor outside the room. She shifted her eyes, and saw a figure retreating from the doorway, where it was obvious that they were listening in. From the height and posture, she was sure it was Kenshin. She couldn't process how she felt about him overhearing this conversation, at least, not yet. She turned back to Aoshi, hoping that he wouldn't see her distress on her face. Aoshi didn't respond for a moment, but when he did, he sounded softer than before.

"You might be stronger than I, Kamiya-san. I… I do not know, if I can find such hope. After everything I've done, everything I've seen…"

"You said before… you didn't think the world had meaning. I… I can't agree to that. Life always has meaning, even if it feels unbearable. I have to believe that."

"…What if you are wrong?"

"Well, maybe I am wrong. But even then… even then, I cannot think does your abandon gain you? You are turning your back on the dead who loved you, and the living who still love you. You settled on an path that only gives pain to the world. If you feel your pain so keenly, why would you want to give it to others Give yourself a chance to live now, not thinking of the past, or the future. Think of now. Think of the people who need and love you. Just… think. Don't take your anger and sadness as the only way."

At that, Kaoru heard a noise at the door, glancing back, she saw Misao had returned, looking clean and refreshed. Kaoru decided it was time for her to leave, having exhausted her own emotional reserves. As she walked to the door, she gave Misao a smile, which she received back from the younger girl.

"Thank you, Kamiya-san," Aoshi softly called out to her.

Kaoru turned back, smile still in place. "Please, call me Kaoru." Aoshi gave her a slight nod, then turned to Misao, who stood there with hope on her face. Kaoru shut the door, leaving the two alone, hoping that Aoshi would show Misao the same honestly he had just shown her. As she walked to her room, she kept her eyes out for Kenshin, but he did not appear.

oooooo

Kaoru finished brushing her hair, ready to tie it into a bun at the back of her head. The motion was automatic as she twisted it up on to the top of her head, ready to pin it into place. Her mind was somewhere else though. Kaoru thought back to her earlier conversation with Aoshi. She had asked him to give up his anger and sadness and live for today. Maybe I should take my own advice, Kaoru thought, thinking of her own feelings and the one regret that she lived with every day. Had she forgiven herself for what she had done to Kenshin? She knew that he may never forgive her, and these last few weeks in his company had made her face that. But she couldn't feel trapped by it any longer. She owed it to herself. He was close to happiness with someone else, and maybe she should try to find happiness, too.

Shifting her hair in her hands, Kaoru admired herself as she held it on top of her head in a tall ponytail. Her raven tresses flowed down her neck and she thought, why not. Reaching in to her bag she pulled out a brightly coloured ribbon she had purchased at one of the shops yesterday. She had bought it on impulse not really questioning why. She tied the ribbon in her hair and looked at herself in the mirror.

Someone she thought was long gone stared back at her. She might be older now, but she was still herself, even if she had been buried under grief for so many years. Feeling confident, Kaoru stood and left her room, knowing that the others would be downstairs waiting to leave.

It was their last night in Hakone and Hiroki had announced earlier that several of his business associates would be joining them for dinner at a local restaurant. They had managed to work out a business deal that would see their goods sent to Tokyo, where Hiroki would distribute them across the country through his fledgling shipping business. Tonight was a party to celebrate the partnership.

Sano whistled as she came down the stairs to join the others.

"Love the hair, Kaoru-sensei!" Sano tried not to wince as Kaoru punched him in the arm. "Ow! Not so hard."

"Shut up, you idiot. It's just a ponytail."

"Looks good on you," Sano winked at her again. Kaoru rolled her eyes and turned to asked the others if they were ready to go. Misao was again absent, and Kaoru figured she had decided to spend another night nursing Aoshi back to health. She hoped that Aoshi had spoken to Misao.

"Well, let's be off!" Hiroki ushered the group out of the inn, anxious to leave. "Akiko and Kenshin already left and will meet us there." Kaoru was slightly disappointed that he had left already. She hadn't seen Kenshin all day and some part of her felt that after what happened last night, she should try to talk to him. However, she wanted to do it away from prying eyes and ears.

The group walked towards the restaurant, Hiroki leading the way with Sayuri on his arm. Kaoru followed behind, Sano teasing her and pulling at her ribbon.

"Would you stop that?" Kaoru swatted at Sano again. "Honestly you are worse than a child."

"Oh look there's Kenshin," Sano beamed and waved dramatically at his friend up ahead. Kenshin and Akiko were chatting at the front of the restaurant. Seeing the two of them together, Kaoru felt her confidence and desire to speak with Kenshin waver slightly. Akiko had held his interest for weeks now, and by talking to him, she knew she would be interfering. It wouldn't be fair to the younger girl.

As they reached the entrance to the restaurant, they passed by a tall gentleman dressed in western style clothes who was leaving. He greeted Hiroki and Sayuri with a polite nod, and stepped aside as the rest of the group passed by to move inside. Kaoru smiled demurely in greeting as she passed, and the man looked at her once and then back again, open admiration on his face. Kaoru blushed, and the man smiled at her reaction, nodding towards her, before setting off away from the group. As Kaoru watched him go, she saw Kenshin look at the man, and then back at her, as if recognizing her for the first time. Continuing to blush from the attention, Kaoru walked inside with Sano.

"Told ya you looked good," Sano mock whispered. Kaoru swiftly rewarded him with another punch to the arm.

The evening passed by happily. Kaoru chatted with Hiroki's business partners, who were excited to entertain the pretty kenjutsu instructor with stories of their youth. Kaoru could tell that Akiko was a bit jealous of the attention, as they spent the evening chatting with her the supposedly single Kaoru, instead of the rumoured to be engaged Akiko.

As they made their way back to the inn, the group decided to take a walk down to the lakeshore to see the stars coming out over the mountains. It was still early and no one was eager to go to bed. As they passed the inn, they noticed a large carriage out front and several people loading various trunks into it. The women went inside to quickly change their shoes and get a few items before their walk down to the lake.

As Kaoru returned back downstairs, she passed by the tall man again. He nodded in greeting and like before, he wasn't afraid to show his open admiration of her. Kaoru glanced back, curious as to who he was.

As she came down the hall, she saw Tadashi in one of the empty rooms. He was sitting and reading a book by lamplight.

"Excuse me, Tadashi-san," Kaoru asked. "But I passed a tall gentleman in the hall, do you know who he is?"

"Oh, that must be Takeda Kanryu. He's a wealthy industrialist from Yokohama. Takeda-san was supposed to stay a few days but as soon as he arrived, he said that he had to leave again."

"Was that his carriage out front?"

Tadashi nodded his head. "Hopefully he returns. He was going to rent several rooms here for a week. My father is very upset at losing his business." Kaoru bid him goodnight and hurried to the door.

Kaoru met the others outside and they set off on their walk, Kenshin and Akiko leading the way, followed by Kaoru and Sano, and then Sayuri and Hiroki. It was a beautiful night and as they made their way to the edge of the town, they could see the stars twinkling across the dark sky.

Fireflies danced along the edge of the road and again, Kaoru was amazed by the peace she felt out in the countryside. For the first time in a long time, all of her concerns and worries about her future seemed far away. Kaoru breathed deep, filling her lungs with the cool night air, relaxing into the walk with her friends. Next to her, Sano noticed her contented look and grinned, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.

Suddenly Kenshin stopped up ahead. They had entered a small wooded area on their way towards the lake. Kaoru saw Kenshin push Akiko behind him with one arm, the other one resting on his sword. Sano instantly stiffened beside her, and Kaoru noticed that the air around them had become almost eerily quiet and still.

"Sano," Kenshin called back over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know." Sano cracked his knuckles. Kaoru tensed as she recognized the two men preparing for a fight.

"What's going on?" asked Hiroki concerned.

"You should head back to town," Kenshin stated, gently pushing Akiko towards Kaoru. Kenshin still had his other hand on his sword, his eyes quickly glancing around them.

"Battousai, your friends are more than welcome to stay." A large figure stepped out of the forest in front of them. He was clad in a dark yukata, with a large hat on his head.

"Please, I insist," the figure stepped forward into the light, an evil grin on his face. Kaoru felt a chill run down her spine. Next to her, Sano instantly slipped into a fighting stance. Kenshin stood in front of the group protectively, his hand firmly gripped on his katana.

"Jin'eh."