ALLEGIANT PART II

chapter fifty-three

FOUR

put to rest what you thought of me / while i clean this slate / with the hands of uncertainty
Linkin Park, "What I've done"

a/n: This chapter is fairly long and choppy, mainly to keep the pace going where I want and flow on to the next chapter, and to explain everything that hasn't been brought up yet. I've been saving it all for this moment in Four's life that's going to determine the plot of this fic.

When I woke up in the back of what I figured was the van I was almost surprised to be alive. I couldn't remember the last time I had been reckless like that; falling out of the control I sought so hard to embrace. I really was unhinged at this point.

I kept my breathing steady and my eyes closed; I wasn't in any mood to converse and my head was pounding. Ben must have been driving because when we eventually came to a stop the vehicle lunged forward and I felt my entire body ache from the force.

I groaned in both pain and annoyance. This guy really needed to learn how to drive.

"Sorry, Four!" Ben called back to me.

"Hey, you're awake." George sounded almost as surprised as I felt.

"It would take more than a bullet to keep Four down." Amar chuckled.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Back at homebase. After you passed out Amar had to carry you out on his shoulder and I don't think that did your ribs any good." Lucy told me halfheartedly.

Oh right, I blacked out. I rubbed my throbbing head, "How exactly did that happen again?"

"You fell back and hit your head. Hard. You might have a concussion."

The irony was not missed. At least I didn't die on her, but we might end up being hospital roommates. The thought was almost sickly funny.

When I tried to sit up George pushed me back down with the heel of his hand. "Easy there, buddy. You shouldn't move much until they assess you. They're bringing a stretcher now."

"I don't need a stretcher." I told him flatly, trying to sit up again.

"It's standard procedure here. Not much you can do." Thomas said sympathetically.

"Don't worry, we wont tell everyone." Ben chimed in.

Lucy punched him in the shoulder. He grinned. I groaned again.

Although I would never admit to it if I lived for a hundred years, I was a little thankful I didn't have to walk the distance to the hospital wing. The pain wasn't unbearable but I was definitely going to be on light duties for a while, if I ever decided to anything, that is. When they took me off the stretcher the nurse gave me something for the pain so I was feeling pretty good by the time they were finished running tests on me.

I was laying on the too-small cot in the examination room, waiting for the doctor to come back with my results when Amar came in and quietly shut the door behind him. I knew he'd come for me, staff sergeant or not. He went easy on me in the truck in front of everyone but I knew him better than that; he was pissed.

I was in the middle of deciding what word would best describe how I felt when he interrupted. "Doc come back yet?"

"Nope."

"You know that was some lame shit back there, Tobias."

Fuzzy. That's what the word was. Fuzzy. "Do not call me that."

He ignored me. "You're lucky you were wearing a vest or you'd be in a God damn body bag right now."

I lolled my head to the side to get a better look at him. "But I'm not."

He clenched his jaw and bore his eyes into mine. "Is that what you want? Do you think that's what Tris would want?"

Tris. "Tris doesn't even know what Tris wants."

"What's that supposed to mean, Four?" Amar sat down on the stool next to the bed. "Just how much morphine did they give you?"

"Enough. You know what the doctor said. Tris will wake up when she's ready. And it's been almost four months..."

He looked away sadly, and I found myself angry. I leaned up on my elbows. "Don't you get it? She doesn't want to wake up."

Before Amar could figure out what to say the doctor strode into the room, looking over charts on a clipboard. "Ah, feeling better now Tobias?"

"Why does everybody keep calling me that?" I demanded as I flopped back onto the cot, mostly to nobody.

The doctor laughed and took a seat opposite Amar before clearing his throat. "So, the bad news is you fractured two ribs and have a minor concussion."

"And the good news?" I asked sarcastically.

"You have no internal bleeding, and will make a speedy recovery. Now there is some pretty bad bruising but that will heal also. I'm going to prescribe you with some pain meds for the time being and you'll have to take it easy for a few weeks; so no gallivanting off to play war hound."

War hound? What a dick. "Aye, aye."

The doctor nodded, checked off a few things on his clipboard and stood up. He spoke to Amar briefly then left to fill my prescription, leaving me alone again. I let my mind wander to what Amar had said earlier and wondered what Tris would think if she knew how reckless I had been. She would no doubt be hypocritically angry with me, much like she was when I helped Nita blow a hole through the compound. She was only a few hallways down from where I was, maybe I could sneak down there and ask her. I almost laughed when I realized I'd be asking a comatose patient questions like they could hear me. Tris wouldn't hear me though; she got what she wanted. An eternal sleep and me stuck dealing with it.

"Four." Amar said and I realized I wasn't as alone as I thought. What was he still doing here?

"Yeah. Still here."

"When that shit wears off we need to talk about earlier."

Oh, right. I had almost forgot. The whole reason I was injured. "The flag."

"Yes, the flag. General Avus has agreed to meet with you, when you're back to normal."

"I didn't ask anybody to meet with me." I said, confused. Who was General Avus?

He stood up and walked out, calling over his shoulder, "You didn't. I did."

I don't know how I got back to the closet or when I fell asleep, but when I woke up my head was clear. I sat up slowly and looked around. This room really was tiny.

There was a glass of water next to a small plastic pill bottle with instructions labeled on it. A note was stuck underneath the glass and was wet from condensation. I must have been really out of it when I was brought back in here. I've probably been asleep for hours.

I gulped down a couple pills with the entire glass of water and looked down at the note.

Four,
Come to the west wing when you wake up. The guard will know who you are.
- Amar

I crumbled the note and tossed it behind me, to the back corner. The old parts of me that were still there didn't like being told where to go, by anybody. If I were still in Dauntless I would never be spoken to like that. I wasn't a leader, but I was well respected and ranked high. Here I was a nobody, at the bottom of the food chain just like Abnegation.

Hell no. I wasn't going back down that road. Tris or not, I wasn't going to sink to the level of the scared little boy who didn't know how to fight back. I punched Marcus in that cafeteria for a reason; I was not to be fucked with. I was not weak. I am not Tobias, I am Four.

"You got what you wanted, Amar." I said as stalked out the door towards the west wing.

It wasn't hard to find. Actually, it was the most heavily guarded side of the compound since Tris set off the serum. Strictly military personnel only but somehow, I was an exception.

The confidence must have shown in my stride because as I neared the corner to the entry way the two guards who stood in front of the door nodded to me and moved aside.

"Four?" The tallest one asked.

"That's right." I said and walked through the doors.

It was true, my name was powerful. The last three and a half months of my intentional emotional solitude was probably only allowed because of who I am. The more I became clear in my own head the more I realized just how convenient this whole day had been for me. Just how many strings did Amar have to pull to get me in on a mission I wasn't even remotely involved in?

When I got to end of the hallway, I was escorted through a couple doors and into a giant room. A circular table took up most of it, with computer screens along the walls and people sitting at desks in front of them, furiously typing on keyboards. Amar sat at the table with other military officers I didn't recognize and he motioned for me to join them. Just who were these people?

"What the hell is going on here?" I demanded.

Amar and another man, the one who sat at the front of the table, stood to greet me. He was older and tall, a bit overweight in the gut and dressed in the same green uniforms as the rest of them. He had grey-white hair and thick mustache and one of his thick eyebrows was permanently raised from a scar.

"Welcome, Four." He extended a hand to me. "I'm General Archibald Avus."

I shook his hand and nodded, then looked to Amar for answers.

"The General has taken command of the Bureau, David and the other leaders have been... relieved of their services."

"Taken? You mean forcefully?" I clarified.

"Well, just how much force does it take to overthrow a wingnut who was injected with memory serum along with the rest of his circus freaks?" The General chuckled.

"You seem very proud." It was more of an observation than an insult. I was using Tris tactics to gain some information on this new leader. I wondered if she would have been proud of me but pushed the thought back into my mind for later. This was business.

"Somebody had to do it, son." He told me. "This country needs leaders with sharp minds that has the best interests for everybody."

"Everybody? So that means-"

"The Genetically Damaged and Genetically Pure experiments are finished. That load of garbage is ending all over the country as we infiltrate the other cities. It's time for science to take a break and let humanity take over. We're turning this boat around and going in the right direction. Here, have a seat, Four." He sat down himself and pointed to the one empty chair in the room.

I sat down and took a deep, slow breath and relaxed into the chair. The rest of the officers stayed silent as they waited for their commander to speak.

"Now," The General continued. "I've been informed that you've been having a rough go the last couple months."

I stiffened.

"That being said," Amar said carefully, realizing my sudden tension. "You're out of the loop with everything that's been going on."

Huh. I hadn't even thought of that. I'd been so wrapped up in my misery and Tris I dropped off the social spectrum. "You're right." I said slowly. "I have no idea whats going on." Nor did I care to even ask for the last few months.

"And we've let you grieve and fall into your own routine, we haven't given you any updates on anything or allowed any visitors-"

"Visitors?"

"Yes. You knew you mother had tried coming to see you." Amar said.

Evelyn. My mother. The last time we spoke I had risked it all to end the fighting between the Factionless and Erudite. She had chosen me, and there was a promise of peace to come. That was before... I came back to the compound with Christina.

"I told you I didn't want to talk to her. Or anybody."

"And we honored your request. She has been... persistent, but we've managed to hold her off." The General said thoughtfully.

I wondered how well he knew my mother now.

"And your friends, most of them returned to Chicago for the time being."

I felt as though I had just woken up from being comatose myself. It was like I had forgotten everything and everybody in my life except for Tris. She had been the sole reason for my misery and yet the only thing that mattered. I'd cast away our friends, shunned her idiot brother and my mother and lived in an exile. I felt sick and dizzy, like I had been underwater too long. I closed my eyes on focused on breathing. I would not lose control anymore.

I could hear the General shifting uncomfortably. I really did make people nervous.

"Give him a second." Amar whispered.

"I thought you said he was back to himself. I can't have nervous loose canons on board-"

"Just give him a second, sir." Amar repeated.

"I'm fine." I said cooly and opened my eyes. "Yes, I remember Christina and Cara went back to Chicago. How are they?"

Amar looked satisfied but the General was not so convinced. "They are with their families. Chicago is now a construction zone; we've begun repairing the city and there is lots of work to be done. Jobs are being filled and the people are settling into a normal routine." Then he added, "Without factions. Your mother sits on the new council that has been made to govern the city. It has proved to be too dangerous to let one person lead, so we've placed people from the Bureau to help... organize things.

"We have also begun taking over other cities that were subject to testing. Our plan is to rebuild from the ground up, and bring the country back to what it used to be. The days of being confined is over, freedom will be given to those who are deserving. You will be able to decide on your own where you live and what you do. This is the way of life that was lost to us years ago."

My expression must have given away my emotion because he half smiled under his floppy mustache. "Amar has informed me that much of the history you learned when you were a student before the faction choosing ceremony was small, pointless tidbits. The real history was hidden from you and in turn, you've been robbed of your patriotism. We're going to put a stop to that also.

In time, there will be new schools and a new learning curriculum. The factions are dead, and they will not be smudged out like a stain. We plan on teaching the basics of it to remind people that there was a time when humanity had been lost, and scientists ruled. But only to insure that we will prosper. Our only issues at the moment are the rebels of the Fringe. They're fighting against us because they reject this new lifestyle. Mostly because of that idiot and his goons experimenting and classifying people as damaged or pure. They want to live like damn pirates and govern themselves."

"So why don't we let them?"

"Because history has taught us that allowing them to live by their own rules will ensure their numbers and they will overtake us. We don't want anymore war, so we're ending this one by the only way left: force."

He gave me a few minutes to take it all in, waiting for me to say something. So, I asked the least obvious question that wasn't answered. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because, Tobias Eaton of Marcus and Evelyn Eaton, I have learned a lot about you in the past few months. You and Beatrice Prior. The end of the Faction days and the beginning of a new era has you two to thank. I like you, kid. You're a soldier and you don't even know it yet. I want you to join the Special Ops Team. Under Amar's guidance you could make an excellent sergeant someday."

A deep breath. "And the flag? I almost died trying to get it. What was the point in that?"

"That flag represents the lost country and the guidelines the people lived by. Those idiots in the Fringe knew that and were trying to use it as their banner. Taking that flag from the rebels sends a strong message: We are not brassy scientists anymore. We are the people of the United States of America and the star spangled banner will live on. They will join us in this new world or die."

The first thing I did when I left that room was beeline for the stairwell and run up to the roof. I all but kicked the door open and took in the biggest breath my lungs could handle when I stepped outside.

Holy shit.

The second thing I did was make my way to the hospital wing and into Tris's room. She was right there where I'd left her. The beeping sound of her heart monitor and the breathy sound of the oxygen tank was somewhat relaxing. I paced around her head and ran my fingers through my hair.

I took a few breaths and told myself to focus on the things I knew:

David was probably rotting in a jail cell like a vegetable.

Amar has teamed up with an old man on a mission to Americanize the country.

Said aforementioned wants me to join a Special Ops Team.

Christina and Cara are back in Chicago with the rest of my friends, rebuilding their lives.

My mother wants to see me.

Beatrice Prior is rotting in a hospital bed like a vegetable.

"Tris." I said as hard and Four-like as I could. "I can't do this. I can't do this by myself."

I stopped pacing and slumped onto the bed, and looked at her. "You don't want to ever wake up again, do you?"

I waited. Waited for an answer I already knew. Seconds ticked by on the clock that hung above her head. How could I join a military and serve America, fight the rebels and rebuild Chicago, rebuild the world? All my confidence had drained and I found myself dark and twisted again. And angry.

"Fuck, Tris!" I jumped off the bed. "How can you just leave me here to do all of this on my own? How can you give up on us, on me? How are you that selfish!"

No answer. I sank down to the floor on knees, ignoring the pain in my ribs and leaned my head on the bed, tears welling up in my eyes. I balled my hands into fists and sobbed into the blankets.

And then I heard something over my cries that hadn't changed in three months and 22 days. The heart monitor.

I lifted my head and looked up at her. Her face looked as sullen as it had always been. I was beginning to think I was hearing things when I saw her hand twitch. Not by much, if I had of blinked I would have missed it. I sat up straight and stared wide eyed as the heart monitor picked up faster.

Standing up and backing away, my heart beating just as fast as her own, too stunned to react, I turned to see a nurse walking in casually to get Tris's charts. She paused, looked at me in equal shock and bolted out of the room yelling for help.

"Tris?" I crept closer, my entire body going numb. "Tris?"

Her eyebrows twitched once and then the most beautiful eyes I thought I'd never see again opened wide.

My entire body recoiled as if I'd been slapped and all I could do was stare, mouth slightly open. She immediately started to panic, the tube still jammed down her throat. A team of doctors ran in at that moment and tried to hold her down as she struggled to move. A nurse reached down to stroke her hair, trying to calm her down, but Tris, my Tris reached up and slugged her in the side of her face, eyes wide in terror. Remembering how to breathe I screamed her name.

She tried to sit up and looked me in the eyes, still in a panic as the doctors tried to take the tube out.

Our eyes met and mine became blurry with tears. "Tris."

Suddenly I was being pushed out against my will. "What are you doing?" I demanded as the door was shut in my face. And when I heard the tiny click of the lock I snapped. My entire body shook and I unleashed every ounce of strength I had left from my injuries as I kicked, punched, beat my hands bloody on the metal door. Like a wild animal, separated from it's injured mate I was reenacting a familiar scene from four months ago.

"Hey! What are you doing to her? Let me the fuck in!" I screamed myself hoarse. "Tris! Tris!"

Two pairs of large hands grabbed me and pulled me back and I elbowed back into somebody's face. "Get off of me! Tris!"

"Sedate him!" Somebody yelled. "Security! Guards!"

I felt the prick of a needle in my neck and spun around, punching the injector square in the jaw. They all backed away from me and watched for a few seconds before it started taking effect.

"No... Tris..." Was all I got out before the doctors grabbed me and I closed my eyes.